Need help, I'm an emotional eater

babyangelica2010 · March 2014

Where to start...here we go.
When I got pregnant with my daughter (who will be 4 in 2 weeks) I weighed about 200 lbs. I weighed 238 just before she was born. While I was pregnant I decided to start eating healthier because I wanted her to learn healthy eating habits. I went from eating everything from a box to cooking from scratch more. By her first birthday I was down to 162. Now 3 years of hell later
I'm back up to 220

I have battled binge eating over the last 3 years and now it's less binge eating but
Just over eating, and eating junk constantly. I feel like I'm using food to make me happy, and I can't seem to stop. I know there has to be someone here who is the same way, I just really need help. I don't even want to lose weight to look good, I just really need to lose weight to be healthy. I'm worried about how my eating habits are going to affect my health.
Thanks so much in advance.

jstout365 · March 2014

Start again with small changes. I'm not often one to recommend removing of foods because I think a person can lose weight and still enjoy foods they like, but if you have trigger foods or things that you just can't say no to when you get into that frame of mind, it may be best to keep them out of the house. Start planning to cook a healthy meal once or twice a week to help make the move back to the cooking you were doing after your daughter was born.

I am not an emotional eater, but I have dealt with depression and know how important it is to find something productive to focus on. You may want to try finding another outlet that fills you with the pleasure that food currently does. For me, exercising and feeling confident with my fitness level helps with my moods. If you continue to find that you resort to food, you may want to find someone who can provide counseling, especially if you have had 3 years of hell. There may be some emotional matters that need to be addressed before you can make the move to disconnect from emotional eating.

I know this may not have been a whole lot of help, but the first steps are usually the hardest and I just wanted to say you were not alone in this.

LosingItForGood13 · March 2014

tracking your meals food planning and having supportive friends on here will help u with getting to your weight goals

nim_ra · March 2014

Hey buddy ... Being emotional eater means you need to restore balance both in diet and in emotions .. Step one should be .. Don't push urself so much ... Stress on logics ...

kczarnec · March 2014

There are some good discussion threads on here about emotional eating. Geneen Roth is an author that has written extensively on the topic as well.

gypsy_spirit · March 2014

One of the most important decisions I made when I started on MFP was that I wanted to be healthy again. I was overweight. I was weak. I didn't feel good. I had many bad habits in place.

I started with one step at a time. First, I started reading everything on MFP I could get my hands on. There are some really smart people on this site. I started listening. This is what I have learned over the last 21 months:

*eat at a healthy calorie deficit; eat foods you like - but gradually start making better choices about 80% of the time;

*once you can stay in your calorie goals for the week - start meeting your macros so that your nutrition is in place

*weigh/measure/log every thing you put in your mouth; if it's a solid - use a scale; if it's a liquid - use measuring cups and spoons

*find something you like to do and then do it consistently;

*dig deep and find all the patience you have because it takes it! Don't quit.

*learn about moderation. It's da@n hard - that is what finally got my binging under control. I wanted to get healthy. I had to find the strength to eat only 3 cookies - not the whole bag. It's all about learning. You will not be perfect from the beginning. But learning this is the step to getting off the YoYo Diet Train for the rest of your life.

Read this and maybe you will get some ideas too:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1175494-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

scsue · March 2014

I am too... even to the point of being uncomfortable and even though it actually doesn't amount to a HUGE quantity of food... it's still emotional eating for me....at least with LCHF I keep it to things with very little or no carbs... but it's still a bad habit i'm tryin to kick.. i don't know how to handle stress well and I seem to be constantly under more and more... hang in there. You're not alone

Aviendha_RJ · March 2014

Hey girl...

It's alright. You need to just take a step back & breathe.

After my Mom died, I did the same thing. I went from 135lbs to 175lbs because I ate to feel better. Mac & Cheese was my best friend & my worst enemy. I managed to shrink myself down to 143lbs through sweat & hard work. Then... I went back to school full-time, broke up with my long-term-was-pretty-sure-he-was-the-one-BF... & HELLO 160lbs!!!

So I'm back at it too. I don't always make my own meals... I don't always have the money to buy my own groceries.

But I've come to a place where I realize... THIS IS NOT A SPRINT. It's a marathon. Every good choice I make (brining carrot sticks & celery to snack on at the library instead of going to the vending machine).

Each time you do something GOOD for yourself, it's a WIN. That's all you have to remember.

You'll be fine. This is the first step. I believe in you

babyangelica2010 · March 2014

Thanks guys. I do have depression and anxiety, so I feel like I'm using food like someone would use drugs and alcohol. I don't have to worry about exercise, I'm a cleaner in a mall so I'm pushing a heavy cart, walking and cleaning bathrooms for 7 1/2 hours a day and its definitely a workout.
I do still cook but not as often as I should and I'm definitely not making healthy choices. I do have trigger foods, I need to learn to stop buying them. I think I need to work on having a healthy breakfast and snacks every day and stop eating takeout because its getting to the point where it's almost every day. I work in the mall so having the foodcourt around and money in my pocket doesn't help. I just really don't want to pass on bad eating habits to my daughter.

wannakimmy · March 2014

Babyangelica,

Some may not agree with what I am going to say, but I know it has made a huge impact on me. I too am an emotional eater. It is something I feel I will struggle with forever. It is something that I have been doing for longer than I can remember.

My mother was the same way. Unfortunately when we make these poor choices, they affect more than ourselves. My mom ate poorly, and passed that lifestyle on to me, I in return have done the same thing to my daughter. My bad choices have been passed on to her. It kills me to see that. If you don't want your daughter to go through what you have, and continue to do, make some changes, and stick to them!

It will be difficult, something I try to remember when I get into that emotional eating mode, is just that. What is my daughter seeing me do. What kind of choices is she seeing me make. This is what helps me say no to the things that I know I shouldn't eat.

I know this isn't the same for everyone here, but this is what has helped me. I wish you the best!

Iwanttowearheels · March 2014

I am also an emotional eater, one thing I am trying to do, is not carry money with me when out. can't buy it, can't eat it method and I am avoiding eating the wrong foods for me by taking a rest, reading a distracting book or newspaper. if you can order shopping online to match a day you can cook and freeze the fresh meals you make it may help too. you will have quick meals to hand on days you need it that you have prepared.

Even if you do have a job that keeps you physically active, doing specific movements to stretch the whole body can help relax you.

I don't feel there is a cure all fix to emotional eating only doing the best you can when each emotional bump hits you even when happy I want to celebrate by eating rubbish food .

I have gained so much weight my scales won't register me. dealing with my mums death, marriage ended and i re married ,being redeployed and bullied at work . depression. having A ADHD son thats now grown up, moving from the area i had grown up in and several moves since all take there toll and my second husband hit by a drunk driver and is still recovering.

But I am going to move past all this and enjoy life and so should you

mymodernbabylon · March 2014

Hi. I would really start a thought journal. When you are feeling upset or angry or bored, write down what is going through your mind. What is your true emotion? How is your body feeling? Is there a specific thought going through your head at that moment? Write it down. Then try to see if the thought is helpful or not. If it's not helpful, then try think of an alternative, more helpful (healthy) thought = sometimes with my clients I ask them to write down the evidence for and against the thought and that helps.

I also suggest not going on a diet until you are feeling emotionally stable. It's okay to start a journal of what you are eating, but you may be setting yourself up for failure if you try to lose weight and I'd love for you to do well. I'd try out the journaling, see if you start recognising what's going on with you and then when you are feeling stronger, then start a diet (but get a check-up by your doctor first!). Good luck!

Velum_cado · March 2014

You understand that you are an emotional eater, which is a necessary first step! The next step is to find something else that meets the emotional need you're using food for. For example, I find that crocheting is good at keeping my hands busy so I don't eat from boredom. Exercising is another good way to get your mind off your desire to eat. You just have to find something that works for you. It'll be a case of trial and error, but stick with it. Having something else you can turn to definitely makes the process easier than trying to just not eat.

jenilla1 · March 2014

Babyangelica,

Some may not agree with what I am going to say, but I know it has made a huge impact on me. I too am an emotional eater. It is something I feel I will struggle with forever. It is something that I have been doing for longer than I can remember.

My mother was the same way. Unfortunately when we make these poor choices, they affect more than ourselves. My mom ate poorly, and passed that lifestyle on to me, I in return have done the same thing to my daughter. My bad choices have been passed on to her. It kills me to see that. If you don't want your daughter to go through what you have, and continue to do, make some changes, and stick to them!

It will be difficult, something I try to remember when I get into that emotional eating mode, is just that. What is my daughter seeing me do. What kind of choices is she seeing me make. This is what helps me say no to the things that I know I shouldn't eat.

I know this isn't the same for everyone here, but this is what has helped me. I wish you the best!

I think you make an excellent point. This is probably a major cause for weight problems for a lot of people, even though many would rather not think about it. It's how they were raised, what they saw modeled to them, and they are continuing the cycle. Something to think about. I admire that you and OP are thinking about how your habits affect not just your own health, but the health of your families. :drinker:

kathivg · March 2014

I am an emotional eater, too. I'm also a food addict. I've lost/gained large amounts of weight throughout my life many times. I'm now 48 and the health problems are really starting to kick in. I've reached the highest weight ever and I've just now reached the "line in the sand". I'm at the point I am pushing back. For me, I am doing the following:

1. Plan your attack - It is a war. The mindset (and I also strongly believe) spiritual attacks are going to come at you. If your body is used to processed food (which contains all sorts of chemicals), it will go through withdrawl. As a Christian, I have experienced the devil's attacks/pushback whenever my freedom is involved.

2. Identify your tools - Journaling; a certain person, counseling (I recommend someone who works with people with eating disorders); prayer (for yourself/ask others to pray for you); Scripture, (for me) Dave Ramesey - he has a lot of things to say about financial health, but they have resonated with me in my struggle with food.

3. Be honest with yourself - As the Dara McClellan song says, "You can't run with suitcases..." Identify your baggage and get rid of it. For decades my baggage was tied up in something in my childhood. Fat was my armor. I could not shed that armor because it protected me, regardless of health or whatever. Personally, it is God who healed me of this trauma, and it came over time and through counseling.

4. Create your own plan - don't do someone else's "diet". Eating is personal. Learn about yourself and what you like to eat, not what you're "supposed" to eat. Some things you may need to give up forever (trigger foods). Other foods aren't bad and they aren't trigger foods - they're just something you like. Don't deny yourself these - doing so will come back on you. If it means you're 10-20lbs heavier but happier because you're not feeling deprived - so be it.

5. Don't do it alone - find a another person or small group of women who also struggle and be transparent and vulnerable with them. The devil wants to isolate us and keep us from being part of community.

6. Plan on failing/falling - you will have days where you fail miserably. It could be you just don't feel like doing what you need (and really want to) and you give in to the emotional/addictive pull because of how you're responding to some stressor. It is what it is. It is not "over" however". Even if you "fall off the wagon and stay in the proverbial mud of emotional eating making mud angels." you can still start again from your falling point.

Anyway. This is where I am in my own life. Take what I've written that works for you and leave the rest.

God bless,
Kathi

scubasuenc · March 2014

I too am an emotional eater and one of the things I am learning is how to differentiate between emotional hunger and real hunger. When you feel like reaching for food, stop and think about what you are feeling and ask yourself if you are physically hungry. If you truly hungry, then eat. If not, then focus on the emotions you are feeling and try to find an alternate way to deal with them.

For example, for me anger can manifest as a not in my stomach that can feel like hunger. Yesterday I spent most of the day angry at someone. Every time I wanted to reach for food to calm my stomach I had to remind myself that I wasn't hungry, I was angry. When the anger went away, I no longer wanted to eat everything in the house.

Alr080389 · March 2014

One of the most important decisions I made when I started on MFP was that I wanted to be healthy again. I was overweight. I was weak. I didn't feel good. I had many bad habits in place.

I started with one step at a time. First, I started reading everything on MFP I could get my hands on. There are some really smart people on this site. I started listening. This is what I have learned over the last 21 months:

*eat at a healthy calorie deficit; eat foods you like - but gradually start making better choices about 80% of the time;

*once you can stay in your calorie goals for the week - start meeting your macros so that your nutrition is in place

*weigh/measure/log every thing you put in your mouth; if it's a solid - use a scale; if it's a liquid - use measuring cups and spoons

*find something you like to do and then do it consistently;

*dig deep and find all the patience you have because it takes it! Don't quit.

*learn about moderation. It's da@n hard - that is what finally got my binging under control. I wanted to get healthy. I had to find the strength to eat only 3 cookies - not the whole bag. It's all about learning. You will not be perfect from the beginning. But learning this is the step to getting off the YoYo Diet Train for the rest of your life.

Read this and maybe you will get some ideas too:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1175494-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

I couldn't have said this any better myself. I didn't read through MFP's posts (because the app on your phone doesn't allow it) so I learned it all on my own. Each thing quoted above is absolutely true. Instead of grabbing the can of nuts, I portion out nuts in a small snack baggie ahead of time and keep it in my cupboard. Then I hide the can somewhere. That way, if I decide to pig out on nuts, it's only one portion size. I weight and measure EVERYTHING including the tbsp of creamer in the morning for my coffee. It's amazing how much extra we're actually eating when we don't weight. Even pre sliced deli meat and cheese needs to be weighed because it's they don't cut it perfect every time. I sent you a message and a friend request. You can get through this!

jbugiel · March 2014

Where to start...here we go.
When I got pregnant with my daughter (who will be 4 in 2 weeks) I weighed about 200 lbs. I weighed 238 just before she was born. While I was pregnant I decided to start eating healthier because I wanted her to learn healthy eating habits. I went from eating everything from a box to cooking from scratch more. By her first birthday I was down to 162. Now 3 years of hell later
I'm back up to 220 I have battled binge eating over the last 3 years and now it's less binge eating but
Just over eating, and eating junk constantly. I feel like I'm using food to make me happy, and I can't seem to stop. I know there has to be someone here who is the same way, I just really need help. I don't even want to lose weight to look good, I just really need to lose weight to be healthy. I'm worried about how my eating habits are going to affect my health.
Thanks so much in advance.

I mostly agree with jstout below your original post, and I've done what you've described for your eating habits at times, like when I'm depressed, etc. which is strange, cuz it usually is about my weight or some other thing going wrong in my life, so i get all stressed and depressed and eat eat eat, and I'm a foodie, I just plain love most all foods. Saying all that...

1. You have to do this for you. If "you" doesn't care, you won't succeed. I'm speaking from personal experience.
2. You have to change your eating portions, MFP does wonders if you'll take the few mins each meal to enter your info, and try to plan meals around how many calories, etc. that you set for you goal each day and really keep that person in the mirror to their word and stick to your guns. That doesn't mean you can't have cheat food on occassion, if you plan for the rest of your meals, you can squeeze in food that may not be deemed "healthy" from time to time, but that is ok.

Those were the most important steps for me when I was successful. I fell off the wagon sort of speak and I'm back here again, but I'm going to follow #2 more closely, and not stop logging foods. I promise, that will "bite you in the butt..."

Good luck and add me for support if you'd like.

D1sneygirl · March 2014

I agree with the advice to not focus on reducing your eating. Find the munchies that make your body feel good. Think of it as more bag for the buck! It'll be a little more expensive at first, but its worth the investment! When I first started trying to find better snacks, I would eat a whole box of grape tomatoes or a whole jar of olives, a whole bag of microwave popcorn, handfuls of raisins etc etc. Sounds weird, but better than a bag of Doritos or Cheetos right? I also got into the habit of ALWAYS drinking at least an 8oz glass of water every time I eat, even a snack. I carry a water bottle with me nearly everywhere I go. Get a nice one, your favorite color! Show off that you care about yourself! :-)

After i found healthier things I liked, I tried to spend Sunday for an hour apportioning out into little tupperwares a reasonable portion size. Once again I splurged and got cute containers that made happy. And don't be stingy, i brought enough for a snack an hour! My biggest help to start eating healthier was when I started to use myfitnesspal application on my phone and on my computer EVERY DAY. It helped me make better choices eating out. There's a lot of great foods to eat at a food court if you make smart choices!

Then in partnership with that, I sought out distracting activities. Candy Crush has actually helped me lose weight, lol. I love Spider Solitaire too! Finding a series of books I like to read anything a little more distracting than just sitting in front of the tv. If I'm not doing something else in front of the tv like playing a game, crocheting or writing a list, my hands will go straight for the munchies!

littlekitty3 · March 2014

There's a lot of binge eaters who have had success with 801010/raw til 4.
Now don't start going all "OMG THAT'S UNHEALTHY" do some real research.
Now the reason this is, is because they are used to binging and this style of eating basically is binging/abundance with healthier foods such as fruit. Now why fruit? Because its sweet and basically can kill processed sugar craving. (FYI fruit sugar won't kill you)
If you are interested I suggest following Sasha riceandraw (was a binge eater and has posted a few older diary videos), Megan Elizabeth, Christine Salus (who I can't remember if she was or not, but she upped her caloric intake eating this way and leaned out) Now I am iffy about the "poster child gurus" such as durian rider and freelea, unless you get offended easily go ahead and watch. I personally can't stand half their stuff XD.

But yes, if you are having a hard time with what other people are suggesting I suggest you look into this.

jolamerrill · March 2014

I am definitely an emotional eater...and a food addict. I understand where you are at. I just started ...rather restarted this journey to be healthier in earnest. I have become adept at self loathing and it's not fair to my husband or son. All the stories, motivation, advice, on these boards is so helpful. And like what one poster said, take what you need and leave the rest. Just always remember to ALWAYS get back up!!! Just because we overeat, soothe with unhealthy foods or binge does NOT mean all is loss. We assess, we start over and keep moving Forward!!!

Need help, I'm an emotional eater

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