Dating advice needed!!

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  • JoyousRen
    JoyousRen Posts: 3,823 Member
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    That should be C's purpose in life. He is doing a better job than you.
    So to clarify...I am doing a crappy job...at doing a crappy job. doh.gif
    No. No. You are doing a crappy job at doing a crappier job than other guys. See the difference?
  • Gogo76
    Gogo76 Posts: 581
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    That should be C's purpose in life. He is doing a better job than you.
    So to clarify...I am doing a crappy job...at doing a crappy job. doh.gif
    No. No. You are doing a crappy job at doing a crappier job than other guys. See the difference?
    Wait. What?:laugh:
  • tater8589
    tater8589 Posts: 616
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    Ah, Men... they can be such jerks and jump to conclusions sometimes! I say (if you feel he is worth your effort) text him what you have to say or send it in a FB message so you know he will SEE what you have to say. If he continues to ignore you after you do your part to explain then write him off and find someone else. If he can't give you the chance this time he never will and it'll be a constant struggle. If he gives you the chance then Good for him and maybe next time he will think before he speaks/texts. Good Luck :flowerforyou:
  • tater8589
    tater8589 Posts: 616
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    I agree with what others have said too that talking it out in person is best, however I wouldn't waste time or gas to drive to his place since he is ignoring you.. hence why I previously said to text or FB him. Let him see in plain text what a fool he has made of himself. He can appologize and ya'll work it out OR he can be an dumb ace and save you from wasting more time with him.
  • Melisha82
    Melisha82 Posts: 243
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    You know what girl, being that he's acting that way without any room for you to give explanation shows that he's a little immature or too involved in his own little world to look into yours. However, I also realize that facebook can be notorious for miscommunication! I wouldn't waste my time going over to his house, I would simply text or facebook him (since he's so into that) and tell him the real story.. then leave it up to him to contact you. If he doesn't, then move on! You're gorgeous, you can do better!!
  • Valtishia
    Valtishia Posts: 811 Member
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    I wouldn't explain a thing... I would just invite him along lol

    He'll either squirm when you ask him, realizing he must be wrong about what he thought.
    Or he'll squirm when he sees he is dead wrong about what he thought when he shows up.
  • T_R_A_V
    T_R_A_V Posts: 1,629 Member
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    Many my douche-bag-o-meter is pegging right now

    If he wantst to act childish as such so be it

    Tell him to have a nice cuup of shut-the-fu#k-up
  • Giddeaon
    Giddeaon Posts: 43
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    I don't know if I understand the story. You like C but decided to play coy dating games with him to not seem overeager so you planned something with friend M. When C sees this on FB he decides he's not willing to play the games?

    I'm not trying to be rude, and I don't know the actual facts or people involved so it is completely possible that I'm 100% off base here, or simply misreading what you've posted, but when I'm just reading how you described the situation.....it seems you admit repeatedly that you were being coy, trying not to seem one way and acting another, and actively set up a back up plan to have a night's entertainment with a friend C doesn't know just in case C didn't want to play along with your games.

    Are you honestly surprised that this didn't turn out well when so many of your self-described actions were deceptive or manipulative in some way?

    For example, just imagine the situation in the reverse. He plays coy and you find he has plans with another woman you've never met on FB. Would you wait around to hear his "story" or "explanation"? Would you want to hear or trust his side of the story?

    Bottom line - treat people how you'd like to be treated. You admittedly toyed (mildly) with C and he wanted no part of it. Many of the mature men out here hate being toyed with, don't play games, and will cut and run at the first sign of a woman who wants to manipulate the relationship in any way - shape - or form. I'm guessing C shares some of those characteristics.

    If you want to fix this, be honest with him and take steps to be direct and communicative instead of attempting to manipulate the conversations to get your way. He'll appreciate it and respect you for it. At a certain age, men start to seriously detest the game playing. If you're honest - and continue to be so - you might be surprised at how much easier it is to get what you want from your guy than the methods you're currently utilizing. Keep in mind that while your brain is an 8 lane mega-super-highway that can process gazillions of emotions and thoughts in mere seconds, guys brains are dirt paths better suited for slow moving emotional grunts carried by mule. Being direct with us pays gigantic dividends.

    Or I could be completely wrong about your situation and misread how you represented the situation..........it's happened before, and I apologize if this seems harsh. You asked for advise and I'm trying to give you an honest answer. I hope you work it out and find happiness.
  • ashleynicoleb
    ashleynicoleb Posts: 376 Member
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    He definitelyyy seems extremely immature and oversensitive. Lack of communication can lead to a lot of problems...I'd move onto someone else if it's this early on. Good luck :)
  • alantin
    alantin Posts: 621 Member
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    I really don't understand why you all are flaming the guy so, and it really doesn't make me think that HE is the immature one here...

    I don't know the whole story so I'm probably off but here are my first impressions on this:

    1. The girl is playing some games with him (all the "the conversation didn't go MY way", and "didn't want to sound too eager so did this and that").

    2. Wow! He is really over sensitive. He has probably been burned in a relationship pretty badly. (he jumped right into conclusion, although a really obvious one, without asking about your friend first.)

    Guys really dislike all kinds of "games" (we are generally terrible at playng or understanding them!) and, if he has been lied to and burned in the past, it really makes sense to Just dich a girl, who is suddenly acting coldishly and making plans with another guy on FB at this early stage, and move on to avoid further heartache. If you really want him back, stop all games here!

    He sees it so that you offended him so In any case you should tell him the facts and regret the misunderstanding. Txt him if he doesn't answer your calls. If he is a decent guy, he'll apologize for his reaction.

    Still. If he really is that sensitive, he probably isn't ready for a relationship yet and you should think about that.
  • ican♥and♥iwill
    ican♥and♥iwill Posts: 176 Member
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    I don't think he's fully to blame - hence the reason *I* was trying to fix things. I realize how my actions could be perceived as "playing games" but that was far from my intentions. I've learned in the dating game, coming across as too eager usually weirds dudes out. Do I want to see him? Yes of course. But I don't think he needs to know just how much.

    Anyway - he ended up calling me back and apologizing. He explained that his day at work was going crappy and so he over reacted. We ended up going to dinner and talking things through.

    Was he being immature? Sure, but I probably would have reacted the same way.

    Does he have issues? Probably. But don't we all? After a failed marraige, it's no secret that I have intense trust issues.

    It he worth staying involved with? I'm not sure yet. I do like him. He's a super nice guy, he calls when he says he will, he never hesitates to tell me that he thinks I'm beautiful, he has a good job... he's not the normal douche that I tend to run into. So I think for now I'll just feel it out for a while.

    Thanks again for all the input everyone.
  • jillybeanruns
    jillybeanruns Posts: 1,420 Member
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    Glad everything worked out for you, girl! Hope it continues to go well with the two of you!
  • KendalBeee
    KendalBeee Posts: 2,269 Member
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    thats good news. Glad yall can talk through it
  • Sweet13_Princess
    Sweet13_Princess Posts: 1,207 Member
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    Sounds like a guy that can't make up his mind. First of all, he should have given you a more difinitive answer in the first place, if he was planning to go out with you. However, he probably doesn't know that your guy pal is a friend only and so he's misinterpreting that you're sleazy when you're really not. I would Facebook him a message, explaining. That will give you the chance to more thoroughly think your words through, rather than a text or a phone call.

    If he still dismisses you, I'd just move on. Apparently, he couldn't make up his mind and why should you invest more time sitting around and waiting. You're too good for putting your life on hold for someone.

    Shannon
  • tater8589
    tater8589 Posts: 616
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    I'm glad he called and ya'll were able to get together. There is hope :) Good luck and have a great day.
  • bobdubya
    bobdubya Posts: 55
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    Since you've lost so much weight and look so good now I doubt he is in your league. DUMP HIM. LOL I'm just kidding. You'll figure it out.....

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