MIND YOUR OWN DANG BUSINESS!
Hummmingbird
Posts: 337 Member
Why is it, when i am changing my diet, that people near me only catch me when im eating something im NOT SUPPOSED to be? For example, this morning, I had a hankering for sugar...mmmm sugar, and someone happened to bring in 4 boxes (4!) of tasty kakes. well i was starving, and wasnt going to the galley for a bit, so i had 1/3 of the cake. I threw the rest of the way and logged it. However, as i was looking at the package to log it in...a coworker came up and said...."Hey Miss Nutrition you shouldnt be eating that! You need to be eating an apple or some high fiber...come on you know that!". He didnt say it mean spirited BUT I felt:
1. Talked to like a child 2. guilty 3. angry 4. pissed off 5. hurt. I have been sticking to a very healthful low calorie, working out regimen. I take a moment to induldge in 1/3 OF A FREAKING TASTY KAKE and i have people up my butt. Now, most of y ou will say..well...hes trying to help motivate you and look out for you....ok well thats well and good but there is a line. He isnt me and he isnt my bloddy Father! And then i sat there like a chastised child trying to justify to him. I HATE having to feel like i need to do that. I am in control of ME. I am not guilty about this. My angst is that people only see you when you are doing bad and never seeing all the great things you have accomplished. It is infuritating.
P.S. Never mess with a woman who is trying to loose weight, whom is addicted to food and PMS-ING!!!!!!:grumble: :explode:
:mad: :sad: :devil: :indifferent:
1. Talked to like a child 2. guilty 3. angry 4. pissed off 5. hurt. I have been sticking to a very healthful low calorie, working out regimen. I take a moment to induldge in 1/3 OF A FREAKING TASTY KAKE and i have people up my butt. Now, most of y ou will say..well...hes trying to help motivate you and look out for you....ok well thats well and good but there is a line. He isnt me and he isnt my bloddy Father! And then i sat there like a chastised child trying to justify to him. I HATE having to feel like i need to do that. I am in control of ME. I am not guilty about this. My angst is that people only see you when you are doing bad and never seeing all the great things you have accomplished. It is infuritating.
P.S. Never mess with a woman who is trying to loose weight, whom is addicted to food and PMS-ING!!!!!!:grumble: :explode:
:mad: :sad: :devil: :indifferent: 0
Replies
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I'd have resented that too. Plus I happen to think having treats is important in long term maintenance. It's not like you're never going to eat cake again so learning how to eat it in moderation is huge.
I think you should be extremely proud of yourself.0 -
I've gone through that with people, esp. people at work who are on my FB page and see my MFP updates each night when I finish exercising. We had cupcakes a couple days ago brought in, and I only went in to LOOK at them; I didn't even want one, and one guy was on me saying, "Don't go in there! You eat salads! You can't go in there!" It's also the same guy that makes fun of me for drinking so much water. He is also a diabetic who downs 5-6 cans of pop during a work day. You have to try and not let these people bother you. On some level, you are caring about what they think and you can't do that. They're not with you 24 hours a day, and even if they were, they probably wouldn't understand anyway. If they're actually making fun of you for being on a diet, it's probably because they don't have it in them to go on that same journey and it is easier to sit back and "observe" everyone else doing it. You don't have to explain anything to anybody. I think I've simply said before when I felt the need to respond, "I'm going to burn it all off later so it isn't a big deal." I think I've also asked someone if they were a registered dietitian before. But really, you can't let other people's words get you down so much! It's hard but this is your journey, not theirs!0
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Tell him/her to shove off..you are allowed a little break every now and again..like previously said, learning how to portion everything out is what's most important so good for you.0
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OMG I totally know what you're saying here....I've been there, done that, all that crapola. :grumble:
So, when I finally got serious about getting healthy and losing weight, I didn't tell anyone. Not a soul. (except my hubby of course) That way, on those days when I just needed a bit of something bad, I could have it, get over it and be immune to it...at least for a while. :drinker:
Besides, ever the famous Dr. Oz says when you really crave something you should indulge (LIMITED) because the only way to satisfy that particular craving is to feed it. Once you have it satisfied, you can get on with your day. If you ignore the craving, you tend to over eat. :sad:
Hang in there girl, and tell those nosy-bodies to MYOB! :explode:
Good luck!
:flowerforyou:0 -
I've gone through that with people, esp. people at work who are on my FB page and see my MFP updates each night when I finish exercising. We had cupcakes a couple days ago brought in, and I only went in to LOOK at them; I didn't even want one, and one guy was on me saying, "Don't go in there! You eat salads! You can't go in there!" It's also the same guy that makes fun of me for drinking so much water. He is also a diabetic who downs 5-6 cans of pop during a work day. You have to try and not let these people bother you. On some level, you are caring about what they think and you can't do that. They're not with you 24 hours a day, and even if they were, they probably wouldn't understand anyway. If they're actually making fun of you for being on a diet, it's probably because they don't have it in them to go on that same journey and it is easier to sit back and "observe" everyone else doing it. You don't have to explain anything to anybody. I think I've simply said before when I felt the need to respond, "I'm going to burn it all off later so it isn't a big deal." I think I've also asked someone if they were a registered dietitian before. But really, you can't let other people's words get you down so much! It's hard but this is your journey, not theirs!
this is an example of why i'm gun shy about posting it to my FB page0 -
Don't ask, don't tell...ha... People say stupid stuff sometimes. Maybe let it be fuel for you to keep at it, and one day they'll all be saying, "Wow! You look so slim and fit! You're pulling this thing off!" As long as you are doing this for you, not to hear the compliments, it will be a nice side effect. OK to have a treat, of course.
Also annoying is people telling you you need to eat, or what to eat. It happens; got to let is slide off your back. That's why we are here though, to tell you KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK and don't worry about the cmments.0 -
Hey I know it's not as easy as it sounds but just let it go over your head. Unintentionally or not you may find people make comments about your eating habits but as long as you're being honest with yourself about what you're putting into your own body then you're right, it's none of their 'dang business' lol! I had one of my work colleagues saying how when we went out to lunch a couple of weeks ago I made her feel uncomfortable because I was being picky about what I would eat - why it made her feel uncomfortable I don't know (and I suspect she was probably more jealous than uncomfortable because people are noticing my weight loss and commenting) but that's her problem not mine and it's the same for you. People will inevitably pass comment but try not to let it get to you
) 0 -
Oh yeah, I've definitely been there. Last thanksgiving I was trying a low carb diet, so I didn't eat breads or anything like that. This year, at the thanksgiving meal for my workplace (yeah, my workplace, not even family) all I got over and over is "You're eating BREAD?"
It's freaking BREAD. Get off my back!
And it's always the people with 3 pieces of cheesecake on their plate who bring it up. The reason is because they think you have to be absolutely perfect all the time to lose weight. They have no clue how to have a healthy balance, which is why they'll never be healthy people.0 -
the funniest thing is I DIDNT TELL ANYONE IM DOING THIS! so they are just annoying in general
thanks guys for your support! :flowerforyou: 0 -
Sometimes it is good to cheat a little as you did, It helps control your desire for sugar if only done occasionally as you did. Also now new research has found that you have a fat hormone and weight loss hormone. The fat hormone of course is insulin which increases each time you eat carbohydrates and the fat loss hormone I can't remember it's name. The fat hormone only goes up temporarily and is gone after the carbs are controlled by it, but the weight loss hormone decreases and makes it harder to loose weight over time-approximately in a week when on a diet.. Now, for that reason, some diet specialist are recommending that you increase your calorie and carb intake once a week if done properly. It doesn't mean you can go out on a food binge but you can have a couple slices of pizza or and ice cream one day . Eat enough once a week to approximately double what you normally eat on your diet, but just one day a week. Also you are suppose to fast the day before. By fasting the day before they say you compensate for the increase in calories the next day and by eating extra food that one day, it increases your fat burning hormone back to much higher levels it was at the week earlier. If you seem to reach a plateau try this!
My point is that eating that little bit is certainly not going to hurt your overall diet plans and don't let anyone discourage you over that. Just get back to your goals as soon as possible. Stick to your goals and the FAT WILL GO!!0 -
Tate, that'll teach you! Don't eat bread obviously right.0
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See.....I don't consider something like that cheating. I guess I have a completely different outlook on food than many people. I had a family member tell me at thanksgiving (when I was reaching for a yummy sweet treat), "Hey you're on a diet, you're not supposed to have that." So I just grinned and responded with, "The beauty of my new life is that its not a short term diet. Its a completely new life and outlook on food. I can have whatever I want, but I plan for it, account for it, and take responsibility for my actions. Some days I'm going to have foods that are outside the norm of what I eat on an every day basis. This is life and it's a healthy one. You should try it with me because I'm so much happier now!" I mean seriously? You shouldn't feel guilty about eating what you did. Account for it and plan your day around it. One treat doesn't mean your day has to fall down around your shoulders......it doesn't mean you won't get in plenty of other healthy foods. When people talk to you that way just smile and respond in a way that makes them realize how silly they are. 0
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Oh yeah, I've definitely been there. Last thanksgiving I was trying a low carb diet, so I didn't eat breads or anything like that. This year, at the thanksgiving meal for my workplace (yeah, my workplace, not even family) all I got over and over is "You're eating BREAD?"
It's freaking BREAD. Get off my back!
And it's always the people with 3 pieces of cheesecake on their plate who bring it up. The reason is because they think you have to be absolutely perfect all the time to lose weight. They have no clue how to have a healthy balance, which is why they'll never be healthy people.
**high five** EXACTLY!0 -
I've noticed that usually the people who say these kinds of things are those that can't eat healthy or exercise themselves and they feel bad because they know they should - so they try to make you feel bad so that they feel 'better'. Wonky, isn't it?
Our company began a 'healthy initiative' which asks employees to get weighed, have blood pressure taken, cholesterol checked and check for smoking. If you pass all or some of these elements, you get a discount on your health insurance. The average person in my office is a middle-aged female, at least 50 pounds overweight (and that is not an exaggeration, sadly). However, one of my co-workers is very thin and several months pregnant. Even pregnant, she fell well within weight standards for her height and age. As a result, many of the other employees began to tell her she was severely underweight, needed to gain weight, looked sickly, etc. She looks perfectly fine and their comments really hurt. I pointed out to her that the folks who were commenting were those who really needed to change their own health habits the most and so probably felt bad themselves. Stupid how they think making someone else feel bad too is okay.
I suspect the same is probably true for your Kake commenter.0 -
you guys are so awesome, and so is this site. ive never felt so understood, welcomed, or supported!0
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You didn't tell anyone? Geez. Where the heck did "Hey miss nutrition" come from!!?" I get that a lot, as, since I'm vegetarian, it is often assumed I'm a health freak. If I have a brownie around acquaintances the comments just don't stop --- mostly that I could eat twenty of them and not gain weight. Oh if they only knew how much I've worked to get to maintenance weight and stay within range. I'm the 'skinny one' now. Whatever, huh!!
And yes, other fit people don't feel the need to make these observations. Take you own inventory, folks, and BUTT out.0 -
See.....I don't consider something like that cheating. I guess I have a completely different outlook on food than many people. I had a family member tell me at thanksgiving (when I was reaching for a yummy sweet treat), "Hey you're on a diet, you're not supposed to have that." So I just grinned and responded with, "The beauty of my new life is that its not a short term diet. Its a completely new life and outlook on food. I can have whatever I want, but I plan for it, account for it, and take responsibility for my actions. Some days I'm going to have foods that are outside the norm of what I eat on an every day basis. This is life and it's a healthy one. You should try it with me because I'm so much happier now!" I mean seriously? You shouldn't feel guilty about eating what you did. Account for it and plan your day around it. One treat doesn't mean your day has to fall down around your shoulders......it doesn't mean you won't get in plenty of other healthy foods. When people talk to you that way just smile and respond in a way that makes them realize how silly they are.
Nicely said!!!0 -
This is exactly why only a few people who are really close to me even know I am counting calories. I am sick of the judgements and the ridicule. Family is THE WORST, constantly comparing me to others. "Did you see how great Lucy looks? You should find out how she lost it!" (Ahh...she's having an affair and wants to look good for her new man...no thanks.) "Fred and Ethel are now vegans! The pounds are just falling off!" (Give up meat, cheese, and dairy? Might as well give up alcohol, too. Fat chance. Pun intended.) Plus, I know I can't stop paying attention to what I shove down my gullet the day I reach my goal weight. I'll have to do this the rest of my life, so I try to act like is no big deal. If I have half a brownie instead of nothing, no big deal. Conversely, if I have fish instead of steak, no big deal. If someone asks me about it, I try to be honest without getting angry or giving too much away. The simple answer is "I'm just trying to eat better - most of the time."
But that fact of the matter is, sometimes I just want to yell - "SHUT THE HECK UP! WHAT DO YOU CARE, ANYWAY?????"0 -
they are just b*tchy because they are dehydrated.0
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my mom is the worst at that. always OMG ur gonna eat that, watch ur diet...woman i did this far without u dont start tellin me now. and shes been dieting for yrs and never happy so maybe, hmm shut up lol. n my friends r also real big on when u say i cant eat that 1200000cal piece of cake u made to really try n make u.0
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See.....I don't consider something like that cheating. I guess I have a completely different outlook on food than many people. I had a family member tell me at thanksgiving (when I was reaching for a yummy sweet treat), "Hey you're on a diet, you're not supposed to have that." So I just grinned and responded with, "The beauty of my new life is that its not a short term diet. Its a completely new life and outlook on food. I can have whatever I want, but I plan for it, account for it, and take responsibility for my actions. Some days I'm going to have foods that are outside the norm of what I eat on an every day basis. This is life and it's a healthy one.
I agree completely!!!! My philosophy too!! People still carry so much guilt for eating something outside their normal eating habits. And I think that's because they still have not gotten control of their VIEW of food. Still ruled by their bodies reaction to food.
I see a cinnabon(my fav). The deal is now: occasionally I'll eat it and most of the time I DON'T CARE to eat it.
I try to explain: FOOD should not control when you eat it, but YOU should control when you eat it.
:-00 -
I'm sorry that jerk ruined your day. Your body, your choice. You are an adult and make your own valid decisions. I get your frustration. People should never, EVER comment on what another person is eating.
In these situations I always respond with, "I'm not on a diet. I get to eat whatever I want!"
It's not a lie. I'm in this forever and nothing is off limits.
Related to this issue, yet unrelated, I also firmly believe that you can never, under any circumstances, no matter HOW CERTAIN YOU ARE, ask a woman if she is pregnant.
Charmagne0 -
See.....I don't consider something like that cheating. I guess I have a completely different outlook on food than many people. I had a family member tell me at thanksgiving (when I was reaching for a yummy sweet treat), "Hey you're on a diet, you're not supposed to have that." So I just grinned and responded with, "The beauty of my new life is that its not a short term diet. Its a completely new life and outlook on food. I can have whatever I want, but I plan for it, account for it, and take responsibility for my actions. Some days I'm going to have foods that are outside the norm of what I eat on an every day basis. This is life and it's a healthy one.
I agree completely!!!! My philosophy too!! People still carry so much guilt for eating something outside their normal eating habits. And I think that's because they still have not gotten control of their VIEW of food. Still ruled by their bodies reaction to food.
I see a cinnabon(my fav). The deal is now: occasionally I'll eat it and most of the time I DON'T CARE to eat it.
I try to explain: FOOD should not control when you eat it, but YOU should control when you it.
:-0
Absolutely! **high five** Its the MINDSET that gets us trapped in "diets." Its so important to completely revamp the way you view food and how it fits into your world. Its probably the most important component of the journey! 0 -
See.....I don't consider something like that cheating. I guess I have a completely different outlook on food than many people. I had a family member tell me at thanksgiving (when I was reaching for a yummy sweet treat), "Hey you're on a diet, you're not supposed to have that." So I just grinned and responded with, "The beauty of my new life is that its not a short term diet. Its a completely new life and outlook on food. I can have whatever I want, but I plan for it, account for it, and take responsibility for my actions. Some days I'm going to have foods that are outside the norm of what I eat on an every day basis. This is life and it's a healthy one. You should try it with me because I'm so much happier now!" I mean seriously? You shouldn't feel guilty about eating what you did. Account for it and plan your day around it. One treat doesn't mean your day has to fall down around your shoulders......it doesn't mean you won't get in plenty of other healthy foods. When people talk to you that way just smile and respond in a way that makes them realize how silly they are.
VERY well said!!! : )0 -
I have the same problem! Just say something like, "Moderation is allowed Mr. Nosy". He'll get the message and you'll still get your tasty cake!0
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I have this problem with everyone around me too. If I skip a few days at the gym, people say when I return in a sarcastic voice "well, look who decided to return to the gym." As if I'm being scolded!:-P
Also, my family chastised me the other week for making Christmas cookies. Pointing out "You're not going to fit in your wedding dress if you eat those." Seriously! It's not like I was going to eat them all myself, you know.:-P
I really think that it comes down to jealousy. People see you're losing weight, then they see you eating something "bad," so they feel the need to point it out to make themselves feel better.
Shannon0 -
Yeah, that does get old pretty quick.0
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I don't understand why it's a big deal. Most people that make unsupportive comments about eating habits or dieting are being *****y because they themselves don't have the willpower to live a healthy life. Laugh it off, it's not a big deal.
My co-workers know I'm dieting and they do the whole "stop losing so much weight, you're melting away" thing that is very unsupportive and always comes from people who are overweight themselves.
Life is tragically too short to let your little victories of self control and nutrition (which this was for you) become frustrations. Smile and leave the anger to the jealous.0 -
I kind of envy you. Nobody I work with cares enough to remind me of my goals.0
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I don't tell anyone either...i'm afraid they'll just make me feel bad. My fiance the other night told me I eat a lot...then he followed it up with "but you work out so it's ok"...Yeah i eat a lot, but i eat a lot of GOOD stuff now. That's the exact same reason why i'm not telling anyone I'm having an eco-friendly wedding...they'll just sit there and tell me everything that isn't eco-friendly...i can't help that the soles of my shoes aren't made from bamboo ok! but my ring, my dress, my wedding party's clothes, and my decorations are all organic or sweat shop free so UP YOURS!!!!!! I don't have my MFP friends on my FB, I like to keep it seperate, because those on my FB aren't as supportive as those on my MFP page. And I don't want anyone to critisize me and my weight loss journey.0
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