Any 40-something women with no kids? Rare, I know.

Options
1…1617192122

Replies

  • Natmarie73
    Natmarie73 Posts: 287 Member
    Options
    Not that rare obviously.

    I'm 43, never married and no kids. No pets right now either due to work committments. My partner whom I don't live with has a 9 year old son and both his brothers have kids so that is more than enough child-interaction for this little black duck! I've usually had enough after a day or two and couldn't imagine the horror of having children around me 24/7 :laugh:

    Thankfully my sister and two best friends are also child free so we can go bar-hopping in the city a few times each month or for spontaneous girls trips away and not have to worry about hubbies or kids.
  • gailygail99
    gailygail99 Posts: 582 Member
    Options
    i am almost 37 with no kids, close enough?
  • Blokeypoo
    Blokeypoo Posts: 274 Member
    Options
    46, married, no kids.

    I told my Mum when I was 5 that I was going to write a note to my tummy telling it I didn't want children and swallow it. Never changed my mind.

    I have been called selfish for this but anyone who knows me will say I far from that. I don't think I'd have clocked up 30yrs full time nursing in the NHS without any breaks if I was!
  • becclesbecca
    becclesbecca Posts: 68 Member
    Options
    I am also a 40 something woman with no kids - and very happy about it! I am happily married (for nearly 15 years) and luckily my husband feels the same. We have 2 dogs that we adore but we have never felt that we wanted children. However, you can feel a bit left out as I don't have any friends that don't have them. Definitely happy to hear from anyone in the same situation!!
  • onandoff
    onandoff Posts: 122 Member
    Options
    On the way to 40 but not quite there yet.
    Single, no kids and husband in sight... My relatives ALWAYS rush me to marry and have kids, extremely annoying pressure, as if my life wouldn't be complete without it... Interesting how conservative 21st century society/family still is in what people's menthality is concerned.
    My best 3 girlfriends married, had kids and divorced... I dread that...
  • olehcat
    olehcat Posts: 92 Member
    Options
    I might have commented somewhere deep back in this thread, I have no idea, too lazy to read back through everything. I'm 43, no kids, divorced. I work with kids as part of my job, I like kids, adore my nieces, but no desire to have any of my own.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
    Options
    Pretty sure I commented here before at some point but too lazy tonight to go find it. I'm 37 and my husband and I are childfree by choice.

    I feel like cringing at some of the posts though! I know you didn't specify only CFBC peeps but man I do not consider those with an empty nest (grown children) or struggling with infertility to be in the same boat whatsoever. Maybe that's just me. But I feel like I usually have even less in common with people in those 2 camps than parents.

    I get what you're saying but at the same time you're only 37 and have several years left to change your mind and have a baby. There are lots of women in my neck of the woods who have their first in their 40s (my doctor usually cuts people off from having their first at 45) so I would say that you're a bit young to declare yourself to be in the same category as 40+ women without children.

    uhhh no, I've been sure for almost 20 years that I did not ever want to go that route. My husband had a vasectomy for this reason. We are both very sure. But I do see your point. Some women at 37 might be unsure I guess...
  • mank32
    mank32 Posts: 1,323 Member
    Options
    at 33, i feel my eggs are *almost" toast. 45, really? for me, seems like 35 is the shelf-life. anyway...

    1. i have an incurable illness, the cause of which is not understood, but is believed to be at least in some part hereditary, which causes chronic pain, and nearly took my life on that account. so no, i don't wish to even gamble with the possibility of literally making anyone else go through that. no DNA replication for me. period. this totally eclipses the mental illness and addiction that runs on both sides of my family tree, but even without fibromyalgia these others are enough to keep me from reproducing. not willing to take a chance on adding more crazy addicts to the world. you're welcome.

    2. the world is overpopulated, resources are dwindling, and there are parentless children, everywhere, suffering. making more children is, IMO, an incredibly selfish thing to do and slaps those suffering children in the face. that having been said, i begrudge no one their choice to add children to world, so long as said children are adequately cared-for. for my part, if i ever end up raising children, they'll be fostered and/or adopted. considering my history and my current circumstances, chances of this coming to pass are very, very slim.


    TL;DR: 33, love kids, want the best for them, but not gonna make 'em. i fully predict i'll be childless forever.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    Options
    I get what you're saying but at the same time you're only 37 and have several years left to change your mind and have a baby. There are lots of women in my neck of the woods who have their first in their 40s (my doctor usually cuts people off from having their first at 45) so I would say that you're a bit young to declare yourself to be in the same category as 40+ women without children.

    OMG....when people say "you can still change your mind" to someone who is CFBC, its SO offensive. Its like you're suggesting you still have time to "come to your senses" or something because every woman MUST really want to spawn. :noway:
  • estelle74uk
    estelle74uk Posts: 465 Member
    Options
    wow so many ladies, so glad its not just me. im 40 this year and me and my other half of 15 years keep coming up with the same answer, no. I don't think that I have ever wanted any to be honest. my sister had kids at an early age and it didn't work out well with her and it sort of put me off I think. plus I like the fact that I can do what I want when I want. It may sound selfish but I would rather have no children then feel like I have to because of pressure, and then hate it. I probably wouldn't hate it because they would be my kids, but don't want to try it out :)
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
    Options
    I get what you're saying but at the same time you're only 37 and have several years left to change your mind and have a baby. There are lots of women in my neck of the woods who have their first in their 40s (my doctor usually cuts people off from having their first at 45) so I would say that you're a bit young to declare yourself to be in the same category as 40+ women without children.

    OMG....when people say "you can still change your mind" to someone who is CFBC, its SO offensive. Its like you're suggesting you still have time to "come to your senses" or something because every woman MUST really want to spawn. :noway:

    I wasn't that offended but yep...totally agree.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    Options
    I get what you're saying but at the same time you're only 37 and have several years left to change your mind and have a baby. There are lots of women in my neck of the woods who have their first in their 40s (my doctor usually cuts people off from having their first at 45) so I would say that you're a bit young to declare yourself to be in the same category as 40+ women without children.

    OMG....when people say "you can still change your mind" to someone who is CFBC, its SO offensive. Its like you're suggesting you still have time to "come to your senses" or something because every woman MUST really want to spawn. :noway:

    I wasn't that offended but yep...totally agree.
    I'm sure it wasn't meant to be offensive by the person who posted it...but that's one of my pet peeves (when people say that to me)...it ranks right up there with the "who will take care of you when you're old?" question that a lot of people like to ask.
  • otter090812
    otter090812 Posts: 380 Member
    Options
    Deleted (duplicate post)
  • otter090812
    otter090812 Posts: 380 Member
    Options
    39 this year and won't be changing my mind. Used to be made to feel like I was 'unnatural' to think like this (not least by my husband's family). Genuinely used to think there was something broken within me. Now, I'm totally at peace with it. My sister very kindly had a child recently, which has reinforced my confidence in my/our decision - I truly adore my niece, but I don't want to be her mum! It doesn't make you 'cold' or 'odd', and you're not destined to be the mad cat lady (well, I am, but not everyone is!). I am still a major 'nurturer', but those feelings are focussed on friends, family and yes, cats. That's what makes me happy.
  • elisabeisme
    elisabeisme Posts: 308 Member
    Options
    Blokeypoo said
    I told my Mum when I was 5 that I was going to write a note to my tummy telling it I didn't want children and swallow it. Never changed my mind.

    I have been called selfish for this but anyone who knows me will say I far from that. I don't think I'd have clocked up 30yrs full time nursing in the NHS without any breaks if I was!
    "selfish if you don't have kids" is completely illogical.

    the way I see it, it's the childbearers who are selfish. those of us without kids are net givers to society by working without taking out resources to raise our offspring. we pay taxes, but then don't use the school system. we pay medical insurance, but then don't get pregnant. in the USA, if we are single, we are even taxed and pay insurance costs at a higher rate. instead of harassing us, parents should walk up to us everyday, shake our hand and and thank us for our contribution.

    because after all, those parents who call us "selfish" are the same ones who (as Hellbent_Heidi pointed out) say this in the next breath....
    it ranks right up there with the "who will take care of you when you're old?" question that a lot of people like to ask.
    gotta love that lovely insight into the parents motivation for having kids. those of us without kids are able to save money for our own retirement because we didn't spend our money on college education. we're not sitting around waiting for the next generation to take care of us.

    in my view, the people who say these kind of things just want other people to validate their choices. they need that validation because deep down they know that having children and asking society to support THEIR genetic material is the selfish action.

    after all, as mank32 put it:
    the world is overpopulated, resources are dwindling, and there are parentless children, everywhere, suffering. making more children is, IMO, an incredibly selfish thing to do and slaps those suffering children in the face.
    there is nothing wrong with wanting to have children. it's a fair desire. Let's all just recognize that procreation is a benefit we bestow on members of our society. it's something they are taking -- not something they are giving.
  • nancy10272004
    nancy10272004 Posts: 277 Member
    Options
    I get what you're saying but at the same time you're only 37 and have several years left to change your mind and have a baby. There are lots of women in my neck of the woods who have their first in their 40s (my doctor usually cuts people off from having their first at 45) so I would say that you're a bit young to declare yourself to be in the same category as 40+ women without children.

    OMG....when people say "you can still change your mind" to someone who is CFBC, its SO offensive. Its like you're suggesting you still have time to "come to your senses" or something because every woman MUST really want to spawn. :noway:

    My response was a counterpoint to the original post about not feeling connected to women who are empty nesters or haven't been able to conceive. The original poster stated that she doesn't feel that she has much in common with them.

    As someone who has, for all intents and purposes, legitimately passed the age when it's advisable to get pregnant, I don't feel like I have much in common with in their 30s without children, especially since this post is for 40+ women without children.
  • 1shauna1
    1shauna1 Posts: 993 Member
    Options
    Right here, don't have and don't want! Most of my friends have kids and I have a niece and nephew....that's good enough for me. I just live with my two dogs and I'm happy about it!
  • sparkylady1
    sparkylady1 Posts: 12 Member
    Options
    Just turned 40 in November and no kids...not planning any either. I love kids and have loads of nephews & nieces and that makes me happy! Feel free to add me as I don't have too many friends who are active on this site. Name is Lisa
  • dworth1226
    dworth1226 Posts: 10
    Options
    41 and very content with no kids. ..
  • Bubbeez
    Bubbeez Posts: 9 Member
    Options
    A little late to the party but…currently 38, married for 14 years with no kids (by choice)!
    Interesting thread!!!!

Categories