Any 40-something women with no kids? Rare, I know.

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  • Natmarie73
    Natmarie73 Posts: 287 Member
    Not that rare obviously.

    I'm 43, never married and no kids. No pets right now either due to work committments. My partner whom I don't live with has a 9 year old son and both his brothers have kids so that is more than enough child-interaction for this little black duck! I've usually had enough after a day or two and couldn't imagine the horror of having children around me 24/7 :laugh:

    Thankfully my sister and two best friends are also child free so we can go bar-hopping in the city a few times each month or for spontaneous girls trips away and not have to worry about hubbies or kids.
  • gailygail99
    gailygail99 Posts: 582 Member
    i am almost 37 with no kids, close enough?
  • Blokeypoo
    Blokeypoo Posts: 274 Member
    46, married, no kids.

    I told my Mum when I was 5 that I was going to write a note to my tummy telling it I didn't want children and swallow it. Never changed my mind.

    I have been called selfish for this but anyone who knows me will say I far from that. I don't think I'd have clocked up 30yrs full time nursing in the NHS without any breaks if I was!
  • becclesbecca
    becclesbecca Posts: 68 Member
    I am also a 40 something woman with no kids - and very happy about it! I am happily married (for nearly 15 years) and luckily my husband feels the same. We have 2 dogs that we adore but we have never felt that we wanted children. However, you can feel a bit left out as I don't have any friends that don't have them. Definitely happy to hear from anyone in the same situation!!
  • onandoff
    onandoff Posts: 122 Member
    On the way to 40 but not quite there yet.
    Single, no kids and husband in sight... My relatives ALWAYS rush me to marry and have kids, extremely annoying pressure, as if my life wouldn't be complete without it... Interesting how conservative 21st century society/family still is in what people's menthality is concerned.
    My best 3 girlfriends married, had kids and divorced... I dread that...
  • olehcat
    olehcat Posts: 92 Member
    I might have commented somewhere deep back in this thread, I have no idea, too lazy to read back through everything. I'm 43, no kids, divorced. I work with kids as part of my job, I like kids, adore my nieces, but no desire to have any of my own.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    Pretty sure I commented here before at some point but too lazy tonight to go find it. I'm 37 and my husband and I are childfree by choice.

    I feel like cringing at some of the posts though! I know you didn't specify only CFBC peeps but man I do not consider those with an empty nest (grown children) or struggling with infertility to be in the same boat whatsoever. Maybe that's just me. But I feel like I usually have even less in common with people in those 2 camps than parents.

    I get what you're saying but at the same time you're only 37 and have several years left to change your mind and have a baby. There are lots of women in my neck of the woods who have their first in their 40s (my doctor usually cuts people off from having their first at 45) so I would say that you're a bit young to declare yourself to be in the same category as 40+ women without children.

    uhhh no, I've been sure for almost 20 years that I did not ever want to go that route. My husband had a vasectomy for this reason. We are both very sure. But I do see your point. Some women at 37 might be unsure I guess...
  • mank32
    mank32 Posts: 1,323 Member
    at 33, i feel my eggs are *almost" toast. 45, really? for me, seems like 35 is the shelf-life. anyway...

    1. i have an incurable illness, the cause of which is not understood, but is believed to be at least in some part hereditary, which causes chronic pain, and nearly took my life on that account. so no, i don't wish to even gamble with the possibility of literally making anyone else go through that. no DNA replication for me. period. this totally eclipses the mental illness and addiction that runs on both sides of my family tree, but even without fibromyalgia these others are enough to keep me from reproducing. not willing to take a chance on adding more crazy addicts to the world. you're welcome.

    2. the world is overpopulated, resources are dwindling, and there are parentless children, everywhere, suffering. making more children is, IMO, an incredibly selfish thing to do and slaps those suffering children in the face. that having been said, i begrudge no one their choice to add children to world, so long as said children are adequately cared-for. for my part, if i ever end up raising children, they'll be fostered and/or adopted. considering my history and my current circumstances, chances of this coming to pass are very, very slim.


    TL;DR: 33, love kids, want the best for them, but not gonna make 'em. i fully predict i'll be childless forever.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    I get what you're saying but at the same time you're only 37 and have several years left to change your mind and have a baby. There are lots of women in my neck of the woods who have their first in their 40s (my doctor usually cuts people off from having their first at 45) so I would say that you're a bit young to declare yourself to be in the same category as 40+ women without children.

    OMG....when people say "you can still change your mind" to someone who is CFBC, its SO offensive. Its like you're suggesting you still have time to "come to your senses" or something because every woman MUST really want to spawn. :noway:
  • estelle74uk
    estelle74uk Posts: 465 Member
    wow so many ladies, so glad its not just me. im 40 this year and me and my other half of 15 years keep coming up with the same answer, no. I don't think that I have ever wanted any to be honest. my sister had kids at an early age and it didn't work out well with her and it sort of put me off I think. plus I like the fact that I can do what I want when I want. It may sound selfish but I would rather have no children then feel like I have to because of pressure, and then hate it. I probably wouldn't hate it because they would be my kids, but don't want to try it out :)
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I get what you're saying but at the same time you're only 37 and have several years left to change your mind and have a baby. There are lots of women in my neck of the woods who have their first in their 40s (my doctor usually cuts people off from having their first at 45) so I would say that you're a bit young to declare yourself to be in the same category as 40+ women without children.

    OMG....when people say "you can still change your mind" to someone who is CFBC, its SO offensive. Its like you're suggesting you still have time to "come to your senses" or something because every woman MUST really want to spawn. :noway:

    I wasn't that offended but yep...totally agree.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    I get what you're saying but at the same time you're only 37 and have several years left to change your mind and have a baby. There are lots of women in my neck of the woods who have their first in their 40s (my doctor usually cuts people off from having their first at 45) so I would say that you're a bit young to declare yourself to be in the same category as 40+ women without children.

    OMG....when people say "you can still change your mind" to someone who is CFBC, its SO offensive. Its like you're suggesting you still have time to "come to your senses" or something because every woman MUST really want to spawn. :noway:

    I wasn't that offended but yep...totally agree.
    I'm sure it wasn't meant to be offensive by the person who posted it...but that's one of my pet peeves (when people say that to me)...it ranks right up there with the "who will take care of you when you're old?" question that a lot of people like to ask.
  • otter090812
    otter090812 Posts: 380 Member
    Deleted (duplicate post)
  • otter090812
    otter090812 Posts: 380 Member
    39 this year and won't be changing my mind. Used to be made to feel like I was 'unnatural' to think like this (not least by my husband's family). Genuinely used to think there was something broken within me. Now, I'm totally at peace with it. My sister very kindly had a child recently, which has reinforced my confidence in my/our decision - I truly adore my niece, but I don't want to be her mum! It doesn't make you 'cold' or 'odd', and you're not destined to be the mad cat lady (well, I am, but not everyone is!). I am still a major 'nurturer', but those feelings are focussed on friends, family and yes, cats. That's what makes me happy.
  • elisabeisme
    elisabeisme Posts: 308 Member
    Blokeypoo said
    I told my Mum when I was 5 that I was going to write a note to my tummy telling it I didn't want children and swallow it. Never changed my mind.

    I have been called selfish for this but anyone who knows me will say I far from that. I don't think I'd have clocked up 30yrs full time nursing in the NHS without any breaks if I was!
    "selfish if you don't have kids" is completely illogical.

    the way I see it, it's the childbearers who are selfish. those of us without kids are net givers to society by working without taking out resources to raise our offspring. we pay taxes, but then don't use the school system. we pay medical insurance, but then don't get pregnant. in the USA, if we are single, we are even taxed and pay insurance costs at a higher rate. instead of harassing us, parents should walk up to us everyday, shake our hand and and thank us for our contribution.

    because after all, those parents who call us "selfish" are the same ones who (as Hellbent_Heidi pointed out) say this in the next breath....
    it ranks right up there with the "who will take care of you when you're old?" question that a lot of people like to ask.
    gotta love that lovely insight into the parents motivation for having kids. those of us without kids are able to save money for our own retirement because we didn't spend our money on college education. we're not sitting around waiting for the next generation to take care of us.

    in my view, the people who say these kind of things just want other people to validate their choices. they need that validation because deep down they know that having children and asking society to support THEIR genetic material is the selfish action.

    after all, as mank32 put it:
    the world is overpopulated, resources are dwindling, and there are parentless children, everywhere, suffering. making more children is, IMO, an incredibly selfish thing to do and slaps those suffering children in the face.
    there is nothing wrong with wanting to have children. it's a fair desire. Let's all just recognize that procreation is a benefit we bestow on members of our society. it's something they are taking -- not something they are giving.
  • nancy10272004
    nancy10272004 Posts: 277 Member
    I get what you're saying but at the same time you're only 37 and have several years left to change your mind and have a baby. There are lots of women in my neck of the woods who have their first in their 40s (my doctor usually cuts people off from having their first at 45) so I would say that you're a bit young to declare yourself to be in the same category as 40+ women without children.

    OMG....when people say "you can still change your mind" to someone who is CFBC, its SO offensive. Its like you're suggesting you still have time to "come to your senses" or something because every woman MUST really want to spawn. :noway:

    My response was a counterpoint to the original post about not feeling connected to women who are empty nesters or haven't been able to conceive. The original poster stated that she doesn't feel that she has much in common with them.

    As someone who has, for all intents and purposes, legitimately passed the age when it's advisable to get pregnant, I don't feel like I have much in common with in their 30s without children, especially since this post is for 40+ women without children.
  • 1shauna1
    1shauna1 Posts: 993 Member
    Right here, don't have and don't want! Most of my friends have kids and I have a niece and nephew....that's good enough for me. I just live with my two dogs and I'm happy about it!
  • sparkylady1
    sparkylady1 Posts: 12 Member
    Just turned 40 in November and no kids...not planning any either. I love kids and have loads of nephews & nieces and that makes me happy! Feel free to add me as I don't have too many friends who are active on this site. Name is Lisa
  • dworth1226
    dworth1226 Posts: 10
    41 and very content with no kids. ..
  • Bubbeez
    Bubbeez Posts: 9 Member
    A little late to the party but…currently 38, married for 14 years with no kids (by choice)!
    Interesting thread!!!!
  • JoyeII
    JoyeII Posts: 240 Member
    42, in a relationship for 10 years, no kids and happy :)
  • cici1028
    cici1028 Posts: 799 Member
    Ok I'm only 35 but joining in on this thread because we aren't planning on them and it makes me feel better to know other women have chosen this path and are totally loving their life! I know I am. (Love my friends with kids but we have different challenges!)
  • RAKK80
    RAKK80 Posts: 8
    40 in August, No Kids and Happy that way!!
  • mzhrrs13
    mzhrrs13 Posts: 25 Member
    43, married with no kids!!! Life is GOOD!!
  • Kidostud
    Kidostud Posts: 307 Member
    I'm 42, married and lots of kids - but they've got very hairy bodies. 3 horses, 3 dogs and 2 cats. Both my husband and I are teachers and we chose not to have even more kids in our lives!
  • NextPage
    NextPage Posts: 609 Member
    Hi,

    I'm 51 and have never had children. I am really confortable with my choice, love children, and don't understand why anyone outside of someone's closest circle of loved ones would care about this decision. I think it is a personal decision and shouldn't be open for judgement any more than I expect strangers to care about my choice of career or faith (or lack there of). Sometime on this site people are looking for someone to relate to based on common lifestyles or choices, that doesn't mean that other choices are bad - just different.

    There are many joys that come with having chlldren as well as being childish. At the end of the day there is a fork in the road and you go one way or the other (or life unfolds when you are busy making other plans).
  • cassylola24
    cassylola24 Posts: 19
    Will be 48 in April. Been married 28 years and have no kids through choice. Friends have kids and we have neices and nephews and a great neice but never wanted kids ourselves. Have 3 dogs who are our family but not child replacements. HAve sent you a friend request as well.
    I remember years ago my Aunt asked me when we were going to have a family - I looked at her and said "we cant" - that shut her up and she didnt know what to say. Don't know if we couold at the time or not but not now as hubby had the snip we were so sure we didnt want kids
    Dawn
  • CoffeeNBooze
    CoffeeNBooze Posts: 966 Member
    I like this thread. It could easily be me at 40, and is that such a bad thing? No! I am barely 28 and feel the pressure from society weighing down on me to have kids. But I am not even close to being married. To be married, I want to be absolutely sure....and I am not, which isn't fair to me or the other person. Sure I love the idea of happiness and commitment, but I am not going to force it to happen. And I go back and forth on children all the time. Sometimes it sounds great and sometimes I'm like oh my gosh I want to go to an adult only island with unlimited margaritas.

    I have one cat and plan on adding more.
  • clairelizzy1972
    clairelizzy1972 Posts: 54 Member
    Great thread! I'm 41 this year and we don't want kids, never have. I could write a book about all the comments people make, the funniest being:

    "Those cramps you get every month is your uterus is begging you to have a baby !"

    I used to get mad but now LMAO.

    Claire
  • clairelizzy1972
    clairelizzy1972 Posts: 54 Member
    Awesome post! LOL
    46, married, no kids.

    I told my Mum when I was 5 that I was going to write a note to my tummy telling it I didn't want children and swallow it. Never changed my mind.

    I have been called selfish for this but anyone who knows me will say I far from that. I don't think I'd have clocked up 30yrs full time nursing in the NHS without any breaks if I was!
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