Does anyone else suffer/ has suffered with social anxiety?

I just hate people in general so I avoid social gatherings as much as possible.

I was diagnosed with severe generalized anxiety and panic disorder when I was a junior in high school. I literally could not function on a day to day basis. I was missing weeks of school. Even when I did make it to school, I left within 4 hours of arriving because it was so overwhelming and I was so physically sick from my anxiety/panic.

I thought I was dying. Literally. I saw a million specialists to try to figure out what was going on, because at the time I had no idea. I didn't know anxiety/panic could make you physically ill. After getting negative test results for everything, the doctors suggested I see a psychiatrist who proceeded to diagnose me with the anxiety/panic disorder.

She suggested medication because my day to day life was impacted. Reluctantly, I started taking the meds. Zoloft at first. Then Prozac, Lexapro, Celexa, Cymbalta, Effexor, Pristiq, Propranonol, Ativan, Klonopin.

******I HIGHLY SUGGEST AVOIDING MEDS AT ALL POSSIBLE COSTS BECAUSE THEY CAUSE WEIGHT GAIN FOR MOST PEOPLE. I GAINED 106 LBS ON THEM IN LESS THAN 3 YEARS. I was a tiny but healthy 97 lb girl when I started the meds. I now weigh 203 lbs. I've basically doubled in size. It's quite depressing.******

I have always been a homebody, even before getting diagnosed with anxiety/panic disorder. I was never a party girl or someone who'd prefer to go to a party over staying home and watching a movie. Most of my anxiety/panic is a result of my physical symptoms.

Every day of my life I have a migraine, I feel nauseous, I feel dizzy, I feel faint, I feel weak, I have the jitters, I sweat profusely, I have vision problems, my heart races, I get heart palpitations.

I have a fear of fainting, throwing up, seizures, strokes, heart attacks, etc.

Because I have all these physical symptoms, I fear I am going to faint or throw up or have a stroke or seizure. So I don't like to leave my house because I fear one of those things happening in public.

I have done talk therapy with a psychologist. I have done desensitization with a social worker. I have done an accelerated intensive cognitive behavioral therapy treatment (which costed $4,000 out of pocket because the treatment is not covered by insurance).

The only thing that has worked for me was the desensitizing/CBT because it makes you face your fears. During my therapy appointments we would go driving (driving is a trigger for me), went to the pet store and played with puppies, got ice cream, went to the mall, got coffee, rode in an elevator a bajillion times.

Honestly, the best way to overcome it is to get yourself out in the world. Take it one step at a time. Do a little at once.

I feel like I'm reading about myself when I read this... :noway:

I had my first panic attack when I was a senior in high school. I literally thought I was dying or going crazy, or both. The second one happened at school, I literally stood up, said "I need to leave, now" and ran to the nurse. I felt like I wasn't controlling my own actions. I was so worked up she refused to let me drive myself home and told my mom I needed to go the ER because something was very wrong with me. I refused to sit, paced, cried, hyperventilated.. out of NOWHERE.

The cycle began. I couldn't stay at school for more than a few hours, I "had" to leave, even though I didn't want to. Getting in a car, going for a drive, going to WalMart, doing ANYTHING was terrifying because I was afraid something bad was going to happen to me in public and I couldn't control it. So I stopped doing anything and everything. I fought panic at night, and woke up with it in the morning.

I've never taken any medication, and I've never been to a mental-health specialist. I've spoken with my doctor, and she said she would prescribe me xanax, but I refuse to take it. I decided I had to do it on my own. I'm afraid of losing control of myself in any way. So I don't use any medication or do anything that could cause me to lose control. (drink, smoke, etc)

I've always been "afraid" of throwing up, but since I started having panic attacks, it became SO much worse.. I'm basically paranoid of feeling sick. I lost a good amount of weight because every time I would eat I would be terrified I'd have to go in public for some reason and I'd throw up. So no food = nothing to throw up. I'm fine with food now, but I still loathe when people throw up around me and I'm always questioning the cleanliness of food and how well it's cooked, how it was prepared, how long it's been left out, who's sick, etc... I get angry or cry when someone gets sick around me.. I know it's irrational and stupid, but it just happens... I'll drink an entire bottle of pepto before I'll allow myself to throw up.. funny thing is, I've had 3 incidents of throwing up my entire life.. makes no sense.

I've been "fighting" anxiety for almost 5 years.. and I'd say I'm 70% better than I was the first year it began. My fiance is much to thank for my progress... He's a get up and go kinda person, very adventurous, loves people, loves social situations. He drug me with him, but always knew my limits and never stepped too far over them. But because of this, I learned to accept that anxiety will probably always be a part of my life, and it's how I deal with it that makes all of the difference. Learning to just talk about it and let people know I'm struggling really helped me too.

Some days are still horrible, sometimes I still feel my anxiety following me around.. I call it "my anxiety child," when it's really bad, because it's constantly calling for attention and tugging at my shirt. I also suggest finding something you love.. when I'm doing something I'm passionate about, my anxiety nearly disappears.. Also, the more I "get out" and do things that push me a little, I feel a lot better.. But some days are still an uphill battle.

Mentally talking myself through panic attacks, rubbing pressure points, and breathing has helped me a TON, because sometimes you just have to learn to deal where you're at - you can't run from it.... and getting enough sleep. I don't care if people think young adults can run off of less sleep. I know I can't.. my anxiety shoots through the roof when I'm overtired.

I hope you can find what works best for you. Anxiety is so hard, because a lot of the time it's completely invisible to those who don't understand it. We seem cool as a cucumber on the outside, but on the inside we're a total mess.

Best wishes to you.. :flowerforyou:

Wow, I've been reading through these posts, and a lot of you are downright amazing. If I had anywhere close to the same level of anxiety, I swear I'd have to be baked every minute of every day. But you're not. You're pushing through. It's thrilling - terrifying and exciting - to see that you all have the strength to do so.

I... well, I'll be honest, I don't know if I have anxiety or not. I can't think of what else it would be, but I don't have a doctor, and the last time I had one he creeped me out. It wouldn't help anyway, if my experience with counselors tells me anything. There would be a problem, I would book an appointment, and by the time the appointment rolled around a week later, everything was fine.

I don't have an issue with strangers (mostly). I worked a cashier job, and it was fine. And once I *start* talking to people, it's fine. But I hate the phone. And I hide from my family. I haven't been on Facebook since August. I don't reply to texts, and I guilt myself about all of these things. I would hate going to the bar, because people are jerks and I don't want to know any of them. But the other reason was that all of my friends would get drunk, I would be guaranteed to loose my buzz, and I would be the little awkward girl in a bar full of happy people. Posting replies makes my heart noticeably speed up, and... you know that wretched feeling in your stomach? That. All the damn time, when I have to make a call or something.

I was hoping someone on here would maybe have a suggestion or two for me as well. I'm working on getting a job to have money to leave the house, and even if I left the house it wouldn't be so bad (I don't mind theaters, or gyms, etc... I just don't talk to anyone there). Being around strangers (or even talking to them) doesn't get me, it's the little stuff, like commitments ("I'll text you tomorrow") and things like that. I like to pretend I'm not as bad as I used to be, but then I realize that though I've managed to shove off depression (more or less), it's partly because I've cut myself off from everyone. Anyway, like I said, any advice would be helpful. I'm at a loss. And again, to everyone else that has it so much worse than I do - holy crap, you are amazing. Don't ever think otherwise.