Loosing weight = Loosing friends

Santasmincepie
Santasmincepie Posts: 32
in Chit-Chat
Or at the very least so called "friends".

Has anyone else noticed this? Or is it just me?

I was talking to another parent at the school when she said that she lost a lot of "friends" when she lost a lot of weight. It wasn't so much they had nothing more in common but more a case of, continuous cruel comments and back stabbing from people that were her friends over her weight and new lifestyle.

On the way home, I was thinking about this as it stuck in my mind and realised that the same thing is happening to me. A couple of people who I once considered friends are now being rude, nasty, judging towards me...it was picked up by another person few months ago who asked if there was an issue between us but I didn't think anything of it.

I know it's better to be rid of people like this as I don't have time for it. I'm just annoyed and let down I suppose. These people I'm talking about are in their 30's so are old enough to know better and should have left all this behind when they left school. I have major trust issues as it is and this isn't helping to be honest. I'm thinking it could be "jealousy" but that really can't be it as they should know they have nothing to be jealous about. Nothing at all.

So, has this happened to anyone else?
«1

Replies

  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • HawkeyeTy
    HawkeyeTy Posts: 681 Member
    My brain is about ready to explode.
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    Getting rid of loose and unnecessary baggage is good.
  • SugarBaby71
    SugarBaby71 Posts: 3,630 Member
    Getting rid of loose and unnecessary baggage is good.

    This happened to me too... and Sin is right. :flowerforyou:
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    My friends are definitely loose.
  • Pertinacy
    Pertinacy Posts: 131
    hi Jof
  • AmiCeresi
    AmiCeresi Posts: 11 Member
    Fortunately, no. My best friend swears that I was never that big and that I need to stop being so hard on myself. Some of my biggest supporters on my fitness journey are the strong, beautiful women that I know. My friends, men and women alike, seem to appreciate me at any weight. If yours don't, they aren't real friends.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    My friends are definitely loose.

    In for loose friends...
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    hi Jof

    *twitch*



    *twitch*



    (But seriously...

    ...in...

    ...for loose friends.)


    ETA: DAMMIT! That's one demerit for each of my friends who beat me to this in this thread.
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
    My friends are definitely loose.

    In for loose friends...

    Hi Ladies!!

    I.C.E. Cream Official Tester
    IKEA Professional Put Together-er
    Kickboxing Class Attender
    Been in fitness for about 2 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • _crafty_
    _crafty_ Posts: 1,682 Member
    My friends are definitely loose.

    In for loose friends...

    +1
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    hi Jof

    *twitch*



    *twitch*



    (But seriously...

    ...in...

    ...for loose friends.)


    ETA: DAMMIT! That's one demerit for each of my friends who beat me to this in this thread.

    She shoots, she scores!
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    My friends are definitely loose.

    In for loose friends...

    Hi Ladies!!

    I.C.E. Cream Official Tester
    IKEA Professional Put Together-er
    Kickboxing Class Attender
    Been in fitness for about 2 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • SexKittenlovesitrough
    SexKittenlovesitrough Posts: 486
    I don't know....i routinely hang around loose women and loose friends...

    I have lost a lot of weight though
  • sheenarama
    sheenarama Posts: 733 Member
    My friends are definitely loose.

    In for loose friends...

    Hi Ladies!!

    I.C.E. Cream Official Tester
    IKEA Professional Put Together-er
    Kickboxing Class Attender
    Been in fitness for about 2 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Totally Legit!
  • MityMax96
    MityMax96 Posts: 5,778 Member
    I get a lot of crap/insulting comments from people that "should love" me.....
    Because I am as strict as I am with my diet and what I eat.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Can I join the loose party?
  • sheenarama
    sheenarama Posts: 733 Member
    There really should be grammar police around here.

    grammar-police.gif
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    Okay, serious answer:

    I haven't lost any friends because I lost weight. If anything, my friends are asking what I did to lose it (then they look at me like I have 3 heads when I say I lift and eat in moderation, but that's another story for another time). I have very few close friends; and that's the difference here. They love me and I love them no matter what. If my weight loss was a reason for them to want to sever our friendship, then deuces, I don't need them in my life anyway.
  • Mr_Bad_Example
    Mr_Bad_Example Posts: 2,403 Member
    Sumtimes itz ok to loose friends. They can b dead wait.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Am I the only person who lost without a huge lifestyle shift? I just ate fewer calories and work out when I have free time. I still went out with my friends and take the same stuff -- just less of it OR planned the rest of my day around indulging. I didn't cut off social activities to work out -- either getting up early or pulling a double a day I had nothing else to do.

    I just.... I don't get how you lose friends unless you are being jerky about it.
  • SamanthaD1218
    SamanthaD1218 Posts: 303 Member
    There really should be grammar police around here.

    grammar-police.gif

    Technically spelling police.

    But seriously.

    *LOSE
  • sarafischbach9
    sarafischbach9 Posts: 466 Member
    It can happen. I had one insecure friend in the past who would always make comments about me being thin. ( I did have an eating disorder, anorexia nervosa, for a time, but I did happen to gain weight and get myself to 110-115 lbs, a slim yet healthy weight for my frame ). She would make comments about how I needed to eat more and how men didn't like thin girls, but how they liked curves. ( That may be true, but a man who loves you will like you at any weight and be supportive ). Finally she stopped being my friend out of nowhere because she thought I wanted her boyfriend ( now husband ). I certainly did not.

    So it was weird.

    So far, I have not lost friends. If anything my friends have been supportive. My boyfriend has been mostly supportive until I dropped a few cup sizes.

    But sometimes friends can be jealous and insecure and decide they don't like you anymore for something dumb. :(
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Am I the only person who lost without a huge lifestyle shift? I just ate fewer calories and work out when I have free time. I still went out with my friends and take the same stuff -- just less of it OR planned the rest of my day around indulging. I didn't cut off social activities to work out -- either getting up early or pulling a double a day I had nothing else to do.

    I just.... I don't get how you lose friends unless you are being jerky about it.

    +1
  • fercar3000
    fercar3000 Posts: 286 Member
    women in general like to compete and compare ... when you loose weight and become a hotter version of yourself ... that is not being appreciate it by some and taken as a threat by others
  • SexKittenlovesitrough
    SexKittenlovesitrough Posts: 486
    Am I the only person who lost without a huge lifestyle shift? I just ate fewer calories and work out when I have free time. I still went out with my friends and take the same stuff -- just less of it OR planned the rest of my day around indulging. I didn't cut off social activities to work out -- either getting up early or pulling a double a day I had nothing else to do.

    I just.... I don't get how you lose friends unless you are being jerky about it.

    how much did you lose? No seriously.

    I lost 150 pounds....150 pounds! That is a person.

    most of my friends pre loss were extremely overweight. Everything they did surrounded around food.

    They wanted to take their kids to a coffee play place or a mall play place so they could have a coffee and danish while watching them play, I wanted to go to the park so we could be in the sun and play!

    They wanted to take them to the movies I wanted to go bowling.

    I wanted my child to be raised in a world where everything didn't revolve around food. I wanted to live in a world where everything didn't revolve around food.

    and my friends? They wanted to be around food. Meetings/play dates/ consisted of going to one of our houses and sitting with coffee and cakes....evenings away from the kids consisted of wine dates with more cake...

    there was always cake....

    and when I wasn't interested, they got mad.

    I had no problem being at their place and being around cake, I had no problem going to play places as long as it wasn't ALL the time...i did want to occasionally hit a park....

    but wanting to do that was "changing them"

    and I think my loss made them jealous, it was a slap in the face that made what they weren't doing something THEY weren't doing. As long as we were all fat, they could pretend life was just like that....there was nothing to be helped for it....

    then someone helped themselves change that and all of the sudden they were confronted with that. It didn't go over well.

    That's all I know
  • sassypants0923
    sassypants0923 Posts: 7,188 Member
    Oh my gosh... this title gave me a headache.

    Selena-Gomez-Headache-Ugh-Gif.gif
  • Shokei
    Shokei Posts: 71 Member
    I love a good party. Dump the old friends they are jealous of your accomplishments. You don't need friends like that. Stay true and stay positive.
  • amwoidyla
    amwoidyla Posts: 257 Member
    I haven't lost any friends per se, but I certainly have less in common with a lot of my friends now than I did 2 years ago. Part of it is my new interest in living healthy and my fitness pursuits, but part is that I'm also at that age (25) where it seems everyone is getting married, having babies, first "real" jobs, and nobody is really at the same place in life. Hanging out with old friends is a burden instead of a joy.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Am I the only person who lost without a huge lifestyle shift? I just ate fewer calories and work out when I have free time. I still went out with my friends and take the same stuff -- just less of it OR planned the rest of my day around indulging. I didn't cut off social activities to work out -- either getting up early or pulling a double a day I had nothing else to do.

    I just.... I don't get how you lose friends unless you are being jerky about it.

    how much did you lose? No seriously.

    I lost 150 pounds....150 pounds! That is a person.

    most of my friends pre loss were extremely overweight. Everything they did surrounded around food.

    They wanted to take their kids to a coffee play place or a mall play place so they could have a coffee and danish while watching them play, I wanted to go to the park so we could be in the sun and play!

    They wanted to take them to the movies I wanted to go bowling.

    I wanted my child to be raised in a world where everything didn't revolve around food. I wanted to live in a world where everything didn't revolve around food.

    and my friends? They wanted to be around food. Meetings/play dates/ consisted of going to one of our houses and sitting with coffee and cakes....evenings away from the kids consisted of wine dates with more cake...

    there was always cake....

    and when I wasn't interested, they got mad.

    I had no problem being at their place and being around cake, I had no problem going to play places as long as it wasn't ALL the time...i did want to occasionally hit a park....

    but wanting to do that was "changing them"

    and I think my loss made them jealous, it was a slap in the face that made what they weren't doing something THEY weren't doing. As long as we were all fat, they could pretend life was just like that....there was nothing to be helped for it....

    then someone helped themselves change that and all of the sudden they were confronted with that. It didn't go over well.

    That's all I know

    Solid ^this.

Categories