looking for help to help my 3yr old gain weight

That is a good idea, keep cookies - some high calorie, some regular for the other children. Perhaps buy those "booster" meal replacement shakes. There are some regular ones, and some higher calorie ones. I guess its about finding something all the children can enjoy but find an alternative that has more calories in it....if calories are what she needs.

what they suggest I do... which is feed her chicken nuggets , hotdogs etc.

Wow. I can't believe any respectable doctor or nutritionist would recommend feeding any child hot dogs and chicken nuggets*. I think you need a new doctor or nutritionist. I'm neither, but I would have to think that if she's meeting developmental goals for her age, what does her weight matter? Some kids are just skinny.

Anyway, I'd get a better opinion from another group of professionals. And you're right, it seems like a daily calorie minimum, in addition to some healthy meal plans would be a part of what they recommend.

*not judging...my kids eat hot dogs and chicken nuggets sometimes

I know your pain. My boys have always been in the lower end of the weight percentile charts (think 10% or less!) and I constantly got flack from my pediatricians to help them gain weight. My favorite pediatrician was the one who said "Do they poop regularly? Do they pee regularly? Are they active and healthy?" The answer was always yes. Then he told me "Then don't worry about it."

That being said, my 9 year old did get to a point where he really did need to put some weight on. (Wish I could give him 10 pounds off my hips!) We worked really hard to "power-pack" his food. We did things like drizzling olive oil over his pasta before we put sauce on it. We would mix cream into his milk. And cheese. Cheese on everything! I make a homemade caramel sauce for him to dip his apples into. He loves pistachios, so I would buy them bag after bag. We tried force feeding him once, and it ended with us all being in tears - so don't do that! It is so hard to find high calorie, healthy snacks that he will eat. That sweet boy - his favorite things are steamed shrimp and watermelon. How can a kid gain weight on that???? We just had to be sneaky with the fats.

I know your problem. It is so hard to feed a child who just doesn't have an appetite. I wish you lots of patience :-)

At my daughter's last check-up, I was told if she didn't put on a good amount of weight, they would want to put her on something to help her gain. Not gonna happen! She is perfectly healthy. The only complaint they have is that she's underweight for her age. So what? I have one child who is a little bigger than average, one who is tall for his age, one who has finally grown to average, and my little girl who they say is too small. All children are different. That's just the way it is. You know what you are feeding your child and you know if she is getting all the nutrients she needs. You would know if her weight was adversely affecting her because she would sit around and sleep instead of running around and playing. Try not to stress over it too much.

Edited because I forgot to add my suggestions! Anyway, pb&j sandwiches are great for kids. Or substitute honey for the jelly. You can add cheese to a lot of foods. You can buy chocolate or strawberry powder with little to no sugar in it to add to milk. Just a few suggestions off the top of my head.

It is common knowledge, as any mother will tell you, is that they don't eat at that age...my mother was desperate, and fed me sweets and buiscuits, so by the time I was five and a half, I had lost all my milk teeth. Then, my grandmother took over my diet, and by the time I was eight, I was the fattest kid at school. It was only, when my grandmother past away, at age thirteen, that I finally became a healthy size. Unfortunately, because I had spent the early years, overweight and obese (I was size 44 at age nine), I realized that I had to work twice as hard to keep the weight off, and so I have until now. If only my mother hadn't panicked...

You could try those drinks like Ensure or Fortisip. They're nutritious and high calories (they are used as pre-surgery food and sometimes are given to anorexics when refeeding) so one per day might make a world of difference. I doubt your other kids would be jealous especially if you framed it as a medical drink.

My grandma said she was like this as a child. She drank buttermilk. Nuts are great high calorie foods, but I know they kill my appetite. I found a recipe for banana oat cookies on here. They have about 50 calories per tablespoon and are all natural. I add chocolate chips though. I think the thread was called "three ingredient cookies".

My son loved salmon when he was little and still does. He also likes kippered herring and smoked oysters. Little kids often don't like meat that is chewy.

Ask your pediatrician about Pediasure milk.

I'm sure they would've already tested for this, but I have a family member whose child had those same type of issue for many years. She was years later diagnosed with Celiac Disease. I would assume that's been looked at already and seems pretty run of the mill, but this was only a few years back. The family spent a long time and saw a lot of doctors before it was pinpointed because she didn't have any of the normal symptoms. (Other than her body not absorbing any nutrients.) Just a thought in case you haven't gone there yet.

My 8 year old was bottom 1-5% from ages 0-4. I understand what you're going through.

All I can say is give her nutritious foods. Give her foods that are calorie dense, and just let nature determine what size she will be. I know with my daughter, she really doesn't have a lot of fat on her body because she was premature and never caught up. But at age 8, she's in the 25th percentile (still small but healthy), runs 5Ks with her dad, is very strong and very athletic. She managed to catch up beginning about age 5.

Ugh - I think we're headed down this same path with my 1 1/2 year old... since she started walked and climbing everything in sight it's like we can't pack enough calories to keep up, even though she's been known to sit down and eat a whole chicken breast in one sitting. She's gone from 50th percentile to 25th, BUT just seeing her buzz around the doctor's office was enough to convince the doctor that she's ok.

So, my suggestions... For one, I would get a second opinion from another doctor. If your daughter has maintained the same percentile, and is generally bright and active, I'd be quite surprised if a second doctor also claimed she wasn't thriving. Additionally, I'd keep a food journal for your kid, just so you can show the doctors that she is eating.

And finally, as someone who didn't weigh more than 100 pounds before I turned 20, I'll add that there are oh so many opportunities for body issues to crop up when you're teeny. There were rumours in high school that I was anorexic and even my girlfriends refused to tell me their size because they saw me picking up size 0 jeans. Then I hit my twenties, stopped playing soccer and started gaining because I didn't know how to manage food intake properly. I cannot tell you how happy I was to get the freshman 15. Unfortunately I turned it into far more. Even now that I'm reaching my goal weight, which is mid-BMI, I'm terrified that people will think I have an eating disorder if I go much further, even though I look far from underweight. Anyways, all this is to say that being careful with how you treat your daughter's weight is really important. Try to leave any of your own body issues at the door when you discuss it, even though she's only 3. Comments like "Oh she's so lucky she didn't get my metabolism!" "Or she obviously didn't get that from me!" seem harmless, but they're not.

Good luck! Your family sounds lovely and if I was asked to bet, I'd say that she's probably just a naturally petite person, but I'm no doctor.

A dietician could have given you a calorie intake goal but maybe choose not to because ... it might not be a realistic goal to get a child to eat the same caloric intake everyday- appetites change! And you don't want to become obsessed with getting the calories in and force feed.

So instead they suggested you feed her caloric-dense foods. If she's having trouble eating high volume of foods then this is a good suggestion. You could go to another dietician and ask them to compute caloric intake- but also keep in mind it will continue to change over time as she ages.

If their suggestion isn't working for you- go back and get a new plan! Get the help you need.

Edit: also wanted to add it sounds like you're doing a great job!

What are her favorite foods? If she like mac and cheese sneak baby food squished squash or similar colors into it. Spaghetti well red will hide almost anything. Add a few extra calories that way to just her portions. Don't fall into hot dogs and chicken nuggets. Don't cater to just her favorites. Is she more high energy than her siblings? She may need a few more calories than them. Good luck and hey I hear kids LOVE chocolate milk.

squished squash??? How is that adding any meaningful calories to her diet. The dr. will want her to eat at least 500 cals more, so if the kids likes mac and cheese, she needs to add extra cheese or butter.

OP: The thing is if your child had an allergy you wouldn't think about feeding each child the same and I think the same goes for that. I am saying this as a mother of a child that was severely underweight until he was about 8. Since she is the youngest are you able to feed her different to her siblings in the times when they are in pre-school or school?

Don't assume that palettes are truly formed in early childhood, they evolve all the time. What sort of food do you consider healthy? Is that sort of food healthy for your child, considering that she eats smaller portion, she is struggling to gain weight and maintaining it? She needs more calories, more fat, more protein and more carbs. Vegetables are great, but in reality unless its avocado it's not adding any significant calories, especially the quantities most children consume. Her current diet is not healthy for her, her current diet has left her physicians worried. The thing is on here people can say all they want regarding their own and their children's experience with this, but ultimately none of us actually know you or your child and more of us do not have medical degrees or a license to practice.

My advice would be to actually accurate monitor what she is eating when for a few days. See whether she is more of a grazer that snacks all day long or whether she just has a low appetite or whether she is too busy to eat. You can then adjust your response to that by either providing more calorific meals or more calorific snacks, because if all she does is snack then she can't just eat raw carrots, but instead should be snacking of nuts and cheese etc. If she is too busy to eat or forgets then have a routine where she has to sit and eat 5,6,7,8 times a day (depends on your schedule).

Another issue worth mentioning is that protein sates people for a long time, so if she has a little appetite, she could eat 3 cheese cubes and be full for hours. At the same time, if she were to be served carbs she might eat a small bowl full of pasta, but then would be hungry again an hour later thus consuming a larger amount of calories overall. That is not to say that she shouldn't eat protein, it is merely an illustration that balance is important.

In the end, our kids diet is changing all the times. There are toddlers out there that will only eat toast. Eventually they'll grow out of that one. How a kid eats in the different stages of their life does not accurately predict how they eat in adulthood. Don't assume that by not feeding her food like hot dogs and chicken nuggets that this mean she'll be healthy and will never have weight problems in adulthood. The population group with the most weight problems are 50+ and they by all accounts had a relatively healthy childhood without junk food on tap and with fewer cars they walked more.

I've been told the same in the past about my son.
But ask yourself this: Does my child look unhappy and malnourished?
I'm sure if she is hungry she will eat.
Just encourage a good decent breakfast with oats or scrambled eggs... a half glass of milk in-between snacks n meals, which I'm sure the other girls wont be too fussed about. Quinoa in rissoles or burger patties are good.
If they complain say sorry the doctor said only ____ is to have it.
Little things add up! its a gradual gain you want.
Stay strong, Ur a great Mum!