looking for help to help my 3yr old gain weight

My 8 year old was bottom 1-5% from ages 0-4. I understand what you're going through.

All I can say is give her nutritious foods. Give her foods that are calorie dense, and just let nature determine what size she will be. I know with my daughter, she really doesn't have a lot of fat on her body because she was premature and never caught up. But at age 8, she's in the 25th percentile (still small but healthy), runs 5Ks with her dad, is very strong and very athletic. She managed to catch up beginning about age 5.

Ugh - I think we're headed down this same path with my 1 1/2 year old... since she started walked and climbing everything in sight it's like we can't pack enough calories to keep up, even though she's been known to sit down and eat a whole chicken breast in one sitting. She's gone from 50th percentile to 25th, BUT just seeing her buzz around the doctor's office was enough to convince the doctor that she's ok.

So, my suggestions... For one, I would get a second opinion from another doctor. If your daughter has maintained the same percentile, and is generally bright and active, I'd be quite surprised if a second doctor also claimed she wasn't thriving. Additionally, I'd keep a food journal for your kid, just so you can show the doctors that she is eating.

And finally, as someone who didn't weigh more than 100 pounds before I turned 20, I'll add that there are oh so many opportunities for body issues to crop up when you're teeny. There were rumours in high school that I was anorexic and even my girlfriends refused to tell me their size because they saw me picking up size 0 jeans. Then I hit my twenties, stopped playing soccer and started gaining because I didn't know how to manage food intake properly. I cannot tell you how happy I was to get the freshman 15. Unfortunately I turned it into far more. Even now that I'm reaching my goal weight, which is mid-BMI, I'm terrified that people will think I have an eating disorder if I go much further, even though I look far from underweight. Anyways, all this is to say that being careful with how you treat your daughter's weight is really important. Try to leave any of your own body issues at the door when you discuss it, even though she's only 3. Comments like "Oh she's so lucky she didn't get my metabolism!" "Or she obviously didn't get that from me!" seem harmless, but they're not.

Good luck! Your family sounds lovely and if I was asked to bet, I'd say that she's probably just a naturally petite person, but I'm no doctor.

A dietician could have given you a calorie intake goal but maybe choose not to because ... it might not be a realistic goal to get a child to eat the same caloric intake everyday- appetites change! And you don't want to become obsessed with getting the calories in and force feed.

So instead they suggested you feed her caloric-dense foods. If she's having trouble eating high volume of foods then this is a good suggestion. You could go to another dietician and ask them to compute caloric intake- but also keep in mind it will continue to change over time as she ages.

If their suggestion isn't working for you- go back and get a new plan! Get the help you need.

Edit: also wanted to add it sounds like you're doing a great job!

What are her favorite foods? If she like mac and cheese sneak baby food squished squash or similar colors into it. Spaghetti well red will hide almost anything. Add a few extra calories that way to just her portions. Don't fall into hot dogs and chicken nuggets. Don't cater to just her favorites. Is she more high energy than her siblings? She may need a few more calories than them. Good luck and hey I hear kids LOVE chocolate milk.

squished squash??? How is that adding any meaningful calories to her diet. The dr. will want her to eat at least 500 cals more, so if the kids likes mac and cheese, she needs to add extra cheese or butter.

OP: The thing is if your child had an allergy you wouldn't think about feeding each child the same and I think the same goes for that. I am saying this as a mother of a child that was severely underweight until he was about 8. Since she is the youngest are you able to feed her different to her siblings in the times when they are in pre-school or school?

Don't assume that palettes are truly formed in early childhood, they evolve all the time. What sort of food do you consider healthy? Is that sort of food healthy for your child, considering that she eats smaller portion, she is struggling to gain weight and maintaining it? She needs more calories, more fat, more protein and more carbs. Vegetables are great, but in reality unless its avocado it's not adding any significant calories, especially the quantities most children consume. Her current diet is not healthy for her, her current diet has left her physicians worried. The thing is on here people can say all they want regarding their own and their children's experience with this, but ultimately none of us actually know you or your child and more of us do not have medical degrees or a license to practice.

My advice would be to actually accurate monitor what she is eating when for a few days. See whether she is more of a grazer that snacks all day long or whether she just has a low appetite or whether she is too busy to eat. You can then adjust your response to that by either providing more calorific meals or more calorific snacks, because if all she does is snack then she can't just eat raw carrots, but instead should be snacking of nuts and cheese etc. If she is too busy to eat or forgets then have a routine where she has to sit and eat 5,6,7,8 times a day (depends on your schedule).

Another issue worth mentioning is that protein sates people for a long time, so if she has a little appetite, she could eat 3 cheese cubes and be full for hours. At the same time, if she were to be served carbs she might eat a small bowl full of pasta, but then would be hungry again an hour later thus consuming a larger amount of calories overall. That is not to say that she shouldn't eat protein, it is merely an illustration that balance is important.

In the end, our kids diet is changing all the times. There are toddlers out there that will only eat toast. Eventually they'll grow out of that one. How a kid eats in the different stages of their life does not accurately predict how they eat in adulthood. Don't assume that by not feeding her food like hot dogs and chicken nuggets that this mean she'll be healthy and will never have weight problems in adulthood. The population group with the most weight problems are 50+ and they by all accounts had a relatively healthy childhood without junk food on tap and with fewer cars they walked more.

I've been told the same in the past about my son.
But ask yourself this: Does my child look unhappy and malnourished?
I'm sure if she is hungry she will eat.
Just encourage a good decent breakfast with oats or scrambled eggs... a half glass of milk in-between snacks n meals, which I'm sure the other girls wont be too fussed about. Quinoa in rissoles or burger patties are good.
If they complain say sorry the doctor said only ____ is to have it.
Little things add up! its a gradual gain you want.
Stay strong, Ur a great Mum!

If she leans toward being a vegetarian, make the condiments a calorie bomb. Let her dip everything in Ranch dressing. Give her cheese, lots of cheese. Put butter in her veggies; slip bacon fat into her beans. Give her protein shakes to drink her calories. Even milk shakes are great, loaded with calcium.

Does she eat bread? Butter it. Keep baguettes around with olive oil.

I am not a mom but I am a daycare provider who has had a couple kids in the past with difficulty gaining weight. Some things I did for them while they were eating at my house:

Coconut butter: add to bread before adding nut or seed butters and add along with regular butter to toast and toast with jam.

Butter: add to cooked vegetables, add to noodles along with oil before putting sauce on noodles,

Sour cream: add to ranch dressing to bulk it up, add to hummus to bulk it up, add to cream sauces for noodles.

Nut butters and seed butters: add Greek yogurt to make dipping sauce for fruits, spread on uncooked vegetables, make peanut sauces for noodles

Give all full fat dairy: yogurt and cheese and milk should be full fat. You can buy creamy full fat cheeses for dips for fruit and vegetables. Full fat cream cheese can be mixed with a little whole milk and cinnamon for a fruit dip too.

Make smoothies with ice cream and full fat milk and full fat yogurt and nut or seed butters. You could even use ensure instead of milk.

Granola instead of oatmeal and other cereals or mix some in with other cereals. Granola can also go into fruit dips.

Add baby food pureed meats or home made pureed meats to sauces for noodles.

I should add ...that I swear this child is a self proclaimed vegetarian ...she will eat meat but its usually bribed by me for her to do so... last year I grew her her very own vegetable garden full of tomatoes, beans, snap peas, carrots peppers anything to encourage her to eat snacks while out playing, if only I could find a cookie tree or something ahaha ...point is she would rather sit at the table with a whole tomato in hand and a pile of beans and ranch in the other and if veggies are cooked she doesn't touch them ???? she has definitely surprised me as far as what a toddler will and will not eat ! The kid wont even eat pizza :noway:

That is amazing that she wants to eat fresh vegetables and fruits from the garden and I absolutely adore that you let her grab those snacks while she is playing. Makes me so happy to hear that! I understand the concern about her gaining weight, but please don't break these healthy habits. It is not easy to get a child to eat these amazing foods, so encourage that behavior. Awesome job! I am always impressed when kids take control (in a good way) over their diet. I was a vegetarian for a while when I was a kid too

Again - I know the point is to be adding calories to her diet, but watch what kinds of calories you are adding. Tossing extra butter, cheese, etc. onto foods for her will likely cause her to want higher fat foods later on in life. It will take a while to break this craving as well. I love the idea of supplementing with a kids nutrition shake or bar. I LOVE clif's kids zbars, they're delicious and really healthy. I have also heard good things about the "kickstart" shakes (i think they are from pediasure? cant remember). Another thing you can try is the horizon milk boxes if she likes milk. They have regular, chocolate, strawberry, vanilla, etc. and each is around 100-150 calories. Pretty easy way to toss in calories, protein, fat... plus they taste good

Hope that helps a little. Good luck with everything!

Well really when it comes to failure to thrive, the child needs to get in as many calories as they can for as little volume as possible. So fats need to be added to her food. It won't necessarily give her a taste for fats either. I grew up in a house where butter was added to everything and I now hate butter. I prefer my veggies plain. The child doesn't need to be given "junk food" so to speak but fats do need to be added into her diet so she can get enough calories to gain weight as an active child who prefers high volume, low calorie foods.

I should add ...that I swear this child is a self proclaimed vegetarian ...she will eat meat but its usually bribed by me for her to do so... last year I grew her her very own vegetable garden full of tomatoes, beans, snap peas, carrots peppers anything to encourage her to eat snacks while out playing, if only I could find a cookie tree or something ahaha ...point is she would rather sit at the table with a whole tomato in hand and a pile of beans and ranch in the other and if veggies are cooked she doesn't touch them ???? she has definitely surprised me as far as what a toddler will and will not eat ! The kid wont even eat pizza :noway:

That is amazing that she wants to eat fresh vegetables and fruits from the garden and I absolutely adore that you let her grab those snacks while she is playing. Makes me so happy to hear that! I understand the concern about her gaining weight, but please don't break these healthy habits. It is not easy to get a child to eat these amazing foods, so encourage that behavior. Awesome job! I am always impressed when kids take control (in a good way) over their diet. I was a vegetarian for a while when I was a kid too

Again - I know the point is to be adding calories to her diet, but watch what kinds of calories you are adding. Tossing extra butter, cheese, etc. onto foods for her will likely cause her to want higher fat foods later on in life. It will take a while to break this craving as well. I love the idea of supplementing with a kids nutrition shake or bar. I LOVE clif's kids zbars, they're delicious and really healthy. I have also heard good things about the "kickstart" shakes (i think they are from pediasure? cant remember). Another thing you can try is the horizon milk boxes if she likes milk. They have regular, chocolate, strawberry, vanilla, etc. and each is around 100-150 calories. Pretty easy way to toss in calories, protein, fat... plus they taste good

Hope that helps a little. Good luck with everything!

Why exactly are butter and cheese habits that need to be broken? Kids need higher calorie foods. Kids need fats and lots of them. Kids need calcium, and lots of it. Nutritional needs change throughout our lives, and it's wrong to deny children essential fats on some mistaken belief that these foods are "bad." Stop thinking like a dieter and start thinking like a gainer.

Kids should be eating all the fats a parent can get in them, particularly kids that are extremely hard gainers.

The last thing a kid needs is a preconceived notion that eating fats is a bad thing. Fats are extremely important for the absorption of fat-soluble micronutrients and for digestion.