Have you been in a long relationship BUT didn't last?

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Replies

  • creech6317
    creech6317 Posts: 869 Member
    I was in a relationship for 13 years. When he is sober he is the best, most caring person in the world. Has a smile and a helping hand for anyone. As the years went by his drinking got steadily worse. He is slowly drinking himself to death and I couldn't watch it anymore. I told him to choose. He could keep drinking and I would leave, or he could stop and we would stay together. He chose drinking and I have been gone for 5 years.
    I still think he is a great guy when he is sober, but unfortunately he is very, very rarely sober.
    I miss him, but am much happier not living with a drunk.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    I was with my bf for 5 years and we broke up over a year ago ...we lived together all that fun *kitten* he apparently bought a ring too even

    I do not regret a single moment he was still my best friend up until very recently actually...ugh....even though he was/is an alcoholic and I am probably psychotic (no im not ive been tested)

    this thread is depressing bye
  • SummerNights32
    SummerNights32 Posts: 86 Member
    Yup, I was with a guy for 5 years, and he was awful. I was still young and thought that I could "change" him, or make him a better man. What a joke!!! Here is just a list of the stuff that he did, that I embarrassingly enough, didn't walk away from:

    -Cheated on me with a woman old enough to be my mother
    -Broke up with me before every holiday or birthday (too cheap to buy gifts)
    -Got a woman pregnant 3 weeks after we split up the first time (I left him for a year, didn't find out till a year later)
    -Lost numerous jobs, got evicted from numerous apartments (while I was away in college)
    -Continued to cheat with his son's mom (that was the final straw for me)

    When he got caught, he told her that he would never be in a relationship with someone who looked like me. LoL, what an a**hole!! She got in a relationship with him after I left, and basically stalked me for months afterwards because she thought I would take him back. I had messages like "everytime I am with him, I will try and get pregnant, because I know he is meant to be with me and not you". She even went as far as to call me up and say she was pregnant again...and then he called me up a few days later to make sure I knew she was lying. What they didn't understand is that I didn't care, at all! I was done, and gave them my blessing to be together. I figured they were a good match haha.

    Anyhow, finding out about her was the best thing that ever happened. I don't know if I just matured, or finally had enough, but I walked away and never looked back. I never let a man treat me like that again. I focused on myself and having fun with my girlfriends, and lost about 70 pounds. I ran in to him when I was out partying one night, and he BEGGED for a second chance (who are we kidding, that would be been probably his 5th chance lol). As rude as this sounds, my exact reaction was "LoL (giggle), you are such an a**hole", and I walked away. I thought about it the next day and realized that I wanted to take the higher road, so I sent him a short and sweet email. It said " I hope you and ***** are doing well, I think ya'll were much better suited for each other than we were." He responded again asking for another chance, and at that point I blocked his email. Ive never talked to him since, and that was about 3 years ago.

    Now I am with a WONDERFUL man, and we are expecting our first daughter. I couldn't be happier!
  • ladyredeemed4
    ladyredeemed4 Posts: 72 Member
    I was in a relationship with a man for 7 years. I loved him. I thought for the most part we had a great relationship.... Until I found out he was in an intimate relationship with my best friend (Beverly)- who was closer than a sister. I spent nights with her, helped her on Christmas Eve to put her kids toys together and put under the tree... What amazes me is how people who are betraying you can go on like nothing, when they know what they are doing behind your back. It wasn't a stab to my heart - but two. That changed me - for a while..... I was hurt, bitter, angry and an all out bit**...... for a long time. Then I started allowing God to change my heart and eventually I forgave them both. As much as it hurt, I wouldn't trade that painful time for the place I am now. That was 3 years ago. I am not in a relationship with anyone (not going to settle), I'm at peace, in a better place - mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. This is the first time I have been on my own - living on my own, paying my own bills and yet I would like to one day get married, I am content being single for now. I like doing what I want - when I want (most days - because of my pups). I am a stronger person and happier....
    BTW - One of MY FITNESS PALS IS JOY - SHE IS NOT THE ONE I AM TALKING ABOUT. She would never do that - she is not that kind of person.... Joy and I have been best friends for about 15 years now...
  • Sunshine2plus2
    Sunshine2plus2 Posts: 1,492 Member
    Yep for 14 years
  • Cali_Chica
    Cali_Chica Posts: 895 Member
    5 years. College boyfriend. Amazing man, I can't say a bad word about him. He was my first love but he just wasn't meant to be my last love. We changed so much between ages 18 and 23...we grew apart and I realized how different we were.

    Breaking up hurts and it sucks in million ways....but when you know deep inside its not meant to be, you just have to move on and let go.

    Good luck :flowerforyou: :ohwell:
  • spara0038
    spara0038 Posts: 226 Member
    5 years with my hs/college bf. In high school, he up and left on a foreign exchange program without telling me. I (for whatever reason) took him back, and we dated until halfway through my 1st year of college. We never lived together- and in fact for 1.5 years of the relationship, we never saw each other. It ended when I noticed his aggressive personality getting worse, and he started to creep me out. Turns out, less than one month after I dumped him, he tried to get my friend drunk and sleep with her. What a scumbag. Good riddance.
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member

    this thread is depressing bye
    Came in to post this
  • n_unocero
    n_unocero Posts: 445 Member
    I was with my HS sweetheart for 5 years (engaged for 3). Once I turned 21 we just kind of drifted apart. I liked going out and he'd rather stay in. He was also really into poker and video games, which I hated. I was actually the one who ended up cheating. I felt bored and I just wasn't in love with him anymore.

    I just got married to my husband last July on our 4 year anniversary. I couldn't imagine being happier. The one thing about our relationship that makes me certain that he's the one for me is that I've NEVER thought about another guy. When I was with my ex I always had small crushes on other guys and wondered what life would be like if I were with them instead.
  • Staniel_2013
    Staniel_2013 Posts: 120 Member
    Yep, about 5-6 years. Things started out ok but just continued to go downhill. We had a kid, got married and then bought a house (in that order). I think after a while I just stayed because it was the "safe" thing to do even though I was unhappy. Things got worse and we seperated before Christmas of 2012. Got back together about 2 weeks later as it felt wrong to be apart (guess some of my feelings came back).

    A month after we got back together she cheated on me with a man old enough to be her father and left me for him. They met at work the week we got back together too. They are still together, living in a ****hole 1 bedroom apartment. I share custody of my beautiful little girl with her every other week.

    Honestly I don't know how I put up with her for so long. I've dropped a lot of weight, I'm happier and more confident in myself and I have expierienced more in the past year than I have the previous 7+.
  • sentaruu
    sentaruu Posts: 2,206 Member
    my last relationship was 6.5 years. she practically begged me to propose to her, and I did on our last anniversary. she was still showing people the ring and saying how excited she was this past holiday season. she left a few days after new years this year out of the blue. no one saw it coming.

    I'm still not sure how I feel about it.
  • sarainiowa
    sarainiowa Posts: 287 Member
    7 years with the "we'll get married someday baby"...Leaving was the best thing I ever did. Stayed 6 years and 363 days to long.

    When you have relationship doubts or questions, get out!

    Every relationship / marriage will have bad days. Not every day you'll be blissfully in love. However, when the bad days are more then the good, get out!!
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
    Was with my x for 10 years, married for 3. We just weren't right for one another. I was too controlling and he couldn't speak up for himself.

    No kids, no house -thankfully. Though he did suggest that I get pregnant in my second year of university (that went over like a lead balloon) After 10 years and a wedding he told me he "never loved me" - took me about 6 years to be comfortable with myself again. I don't wish him ill, we just weren't right for each other.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    I have a question for all of you! Just curious that’s all!! Were you ever in a long relationship or married (not a year or 2 though, more like 4-5 years and more) but it didn't last? What happened? And do you regret it or was it the best decision?

    Thank You

    Yes. 8 years.

    He was wrong for me and I don't regret ending it. Never have.
  • eelamme
    eelamme Posts: 1,135 Member
    Bump to all of this!
  • yankeedownsouth
    yankeedownsouth Posts: 717 Member
    I've been married for 15 years and thankfully believe my relationship is still very strong. My question to those whose marriages failed is what do you believe went wrong? Was it he/she or both of you together? Did you live together first?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    I was married 16 years. We ended up divorcing because he's gay. Not much I could do about that one...
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    Uhm, because there's no reason you should have to go chasing a grown man to take care of himself.
    Telling him to shower.. Go shave, comb his hair.. Throw out smelly shoes and get new ones OR AT LEAST WASH THEM IF YOU WON'T.

    Just no.

    No smelly people, please.
  • SaintGiff
    SaintGiff Posts: 3,679 Member
    I was married for a total of 14 years. The last two we were split up but she wouldn't sign the papers. Here's what I learned from the experience...

    In any relationship there are going to be periods of days, or even weeks, where you have no idea why you're there. It's just habit. You're not really feeling it, but you stick around because the other person is obviously feeling it and you've built this whole life together. So you stick. And after a few days, or weeks, or even months, you wake up one morning and it's all good again. You're feeling it too. That's how relationships work. However, if you both hit one of those spots at the same time, the wheels fall off incredibly quickly. Someone has to want it to work or it unravels with devastating speed.

    Do I regret it? Man, I don't know. I think anyone who says they have never regretted it isn't willing to look deep enough inside. It's weird. Would I do it again? Yes. Both the marriage and the divorce. But I'd do both very differently.
  • craftywitch_63
    craftywitch_63 Posts: 829 Member
    I was (note: WAS) married for 20 years. I have three great kids from it and a lot of emotional scars. I'd do it again because of my kids.

    I learned that both people have to put at least 50% into the marriage, if one partner becomes emotionally unhealthy he/she needs to get psychological help, it's not fair to dump it on the other partner, and, most of all, I learned that I can walk through the fire and come out the other side, well, not stronger exactly, but cognizant of the weak areas and willing to work on them. :happy:
  • TheLadyBane
    TheLadyBane Posts: 299 Member
    Ended a 13 year relationship in December. I am so much happier now. We just were not a good fit for each other and had grown very, very different in so many ways. There was never animosity on either of our parts and we are still friends. It was the best decision for the both of us and long overdue.