I'm not a quitter, but this is exhausting.

counselling/therapy may help with some of this, especially related to how you feel about yourself. Being thin never automatically makes anyone suddenly become happy and confident. This is why it's a good idea to learn to love yourself for who you are right from the start, and lose weight out of a sense of knowing you deserve to be healthy, rather than out of self-hatred or self-punishment. But it's never too late, and if you can't learn to do that alone, then that's where counselling/therapy can really help.

regards your career... if you hate the field of work you're in, then stop applying for jobs and see a career guidance person, there should be one at your uni. There are very likely to be other possibilities for you after you finish your degree. Also, I don't think anyone really feels ready for such a big change when graduating, that's something that counselling can help with (these feelings may stem from the same fundamental lack of self-confidence and/or self-love that underpins your other issues) but also bear in mind that pretty much everyone feels scared about big huge life changes. And hating your career choice is a sign you need to take control and find your way into something that you do enjoy.

Regarding food... it sounds like you're restricting yourself too much and being too harsh with yourself over days when you eat more. This kind of restriction and feeling guilty over eating can lead to bingeing and more guilt then it's a vicious cycle between excessive restriction/self-punishment and more binge eating and unplanned overeating. You need to break the cycle by learning to forgive yourself and not feel guilty over eating more. Most likely the desire to eat more comes from actually needing to eat more food. even when it's pure comfort eating, don't beat yourself up about it, just try to find other ways to comfort yourself that don't involve food or anything self-destructive. Eating too much is not a sin or a crime. It's nothing more than a bad habit. And you need to eat 3500 calories over and above your TDEE to gain just 1 lb of fat. Fat gain happens very slowly, you're not going to get fat from 1 day of overeating. What you need to do is try to find a more moderate approach that allows you to feel full/satisfied on the food you're eating, while sticking to your calorie goal, and learning not to feel guilty about enjoying food. If you overindulge (and I mean really overindulge, as in a significant amount over your TDEE) you can always do more exercise the next day to burn off the excess, and choose something you enjoy to do that, because it's not self-punishment. Exercise should be fun, and eating should be fun.

Darkest moment in night comes before the sunrise starts.

One of the scariest moments on life is when we find ourselves leaving any kind of shelter, as it comes to our food or weight. It threatens our need of security and shelter, one of the most basics needs humans have. If you have lived enough time with the extra weight, it also threatens our very identity.

You have to find yourself, again. That's one of the causes why everything looks uncertain.

The second cause is that you have learnt how to escape of our problems by eating, and now you have to learn how to deal with things without recurring at food as a way of quiting. It's likely that you'll also find a good bunch of problems waiting for you, as you might have delayed them for days, months or years.

Breath them. Breath through them. Enjoy them. This is what you have been fighting for all this time. You are now in control of your life. You can be whatever you chose to be, and not what the food lets you to. Grab a pencil, and draw your own limits.

As we are not machines, you have to familiarize yourself too with the fact that in this new stage of your life (being the previous one the lose of weight), you'll have ups and downs. Embrace that fact too.

Everything else is pretty much the same as when dieting: make a plan, have sensitive goals (e.g.: I'm gonna find what I like to do in the next x months, not tomorrow), release some stress (enrol in a new activity that you like, like dancing or yoga), and whatever you have already used on your previous stage.

Keep in mind that this stage is about finding your new self without going back to food, not about losing the last 15lbs, getting a promotion or ending your studies. If some of these things happens, great, but the focus is on finding yourself.

Happy finding!

Sometimes we all need to take a break. You've lost 95 pounds. That is something most people could only dream of doing. You did it. Honestly, I think you're burnt out. Take a week or two and just relax. Log off MFP for that time and just figure everything else in life out.

I like his idea too. But I would set a date to come back, and even mark it on your calendar. Perhaps ask some of your MFP friends to check in on you after that date.

You're about to start a whole new phase of life, and that can be scary, but it also means new people in your life, which in this case, sounds like a good thing. You get to start fresh with people who don't know about the weight you've lost. To them, you're just you.

School friendships are not the same as adult friendships... for one, you often make friends in school based solely on geographical proximity, rather than common interests. You choose the friends you can tolerate best out of a sea of people who are thrown together simply because they go to the same school.

You can handle this. You've been given lots of great advice here, so figure out a plan that doesn't involve undoing all the hard work you've already done. That will definitely *not* make you feel better.

Once you get through this phase, and life has settled down a bit, choose a charity or cause you feel strongly about, and volunteer. You'll meet like-minded people that you might be able to connect with on a deper level. Of course, get through your schooling first, but know that not everyone is like the people you describe, and your *real* friends are out there somewhere, just itching to meet you.

Best of luck!

Darkest moment in night comes before the sunrise starts.

One of the scariest moments on life is when we find ourselves leaving any kind of shelter, as it comes to our food or weight. It threatens our need of security and shelter, one of the most basics needs humans have. If you have lived enough time with the extra weight, it also threatens our very identity.

You have to find yourself, again. That's one of the causes why everything looks uncertain.

The second cause is that you have learnt how to escape of our problems by eating, and now you have to learn how to deal with things without recurring at food as a way of quiting. It's likely that you'll also find a good bunch of problems waiting for you, as you might have delayed them for days, months or years.

Breath them. Breath through them. Enjoy them. This is what you have been fighting for all this time. You are now in control of your life. You can be whatever you chose to be, and not what the food lets you to. Grab a pencil, and draw your own limits.

As we are not machines, you have to familiarize yourself too with the fact that in this new stage of your life (being the previous one the lose of weight), you'll have ups and downs. Embrace that fact too.

Everything else is pretty much the same as when dieting: make a plan, have sensitive goals (e.g.: I'm gonna find what I like to do in the next x months, not tomorrow), release some stress (enrol in a new activity that you like, like dancing or yoga), and whatever you have already used on your previous stage.

Keep in mind that this stage is about finding your new self without going back to food, not about losing the last 15lbs, getting a promotion or ending your studies. If some of these things happens, great, but the focus is on finding yourself.

Happy finding!

I just wanted to say you gave such a thoughtful response to this post..so kind and encouraging. I haven't seen a lot of that lately on MFP so it's very refreshing. Thank you.

I understand your pain. I've lost about 75lbs the last two years (275 down to 200, recent average was 203), and this last week I snapped. Stopped exercising, stopped eating healthy, and hell consumed everything in sight. Now I'm at 207.

Sweet. In about one week I packed on enough calories to gain four pounds. I looked at myself and realized that I was trading in long-term goals for short term feelings and I need to look the other way around. I gutted my exercise routine completely to cut out weight-lifting and changed my running schedule. It's a perfect opportunity to change what I'm doing for the better.

Will I lose muscle mass? Yes. Will I start lifting once I'm done with work this semester? Yes. The reason why I'm on MyFitnessPal now is a direct result of my changes. The iPhone app is amazing, I like the community, and it keeps me accountable.