RANT OVER UNHEALTHY PEOPLE JUDGING YOU
Replies
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People will always critique your efforts. Not to sound like a mother reassuring her little son, but seriously, they ARE just jealous. They don't like to see you succeeding where they are not, even if its as trivial as exercising. And if you DO do something that could raise an eyebrow they'll jump on that to further defame you so that they can feel better about themselves. It has happened time and time again for my ENTIRE life. I'm a nice person, I don't bother anyone, I just do my own thing and it still happens -all of the time-, so all that it could possibly be is jealousy.
"You lost 100 pounds? Well you'll gain it all back!"
"You lost 100 pounds? That's so unhealthy!" (Because being 100lbs overweight -is- healthy)
"You lost 100 pounds? You're going to blow away!"
Unfortunately, it seeps into every aspect of your life until you rid the judgmental from your life. It encompasses weight loss, sexuality, financial status, -everything.- That's, I think, why they say "birds of a feather flock together" - you need to find people in a similar situation as you to befriend, even if that means dropping old friends (after all, they're not really friends if they're being dbags anyway, right?)
ETA: It's totally different if you're fishing for compliments, or asking for their opinions. But if they are just bringing **** up to say snide remarks, I'd seriously consider their position in my life and their general worth to my journey and if its worth taking up valuable time dwelling on the BS that spews out of their mouth. As long as you don't have a serious medical condition, keep on running! Let your doctor decide what is best for you, not some average Joe with a superiority complex.
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No, it doesn't bother me in the least. Why would I care what some unfit lard *kitten* has to say to me about health and fitness? I'm fit, they're not...nothing to discuss or get upset about really. In my experience, most people don't say anything to me anyway...what is there to say? I'm very fit and that just speaks for itself pretty much...I'm pretty sure the average or below average Joe would feel pretty stupid mocking my nutrition and fitness all things considered.
Also, I do enjoy eating "healthy" and have a very nutritionally dense diet...but sometimes I do have fries with that.0 -
Pretty much could care less about what people think.
Fortuantely I have a great support system - most people tell me how great I am doing. I have many people that I talk to about what I am doing to lose weight and have tried to encouraged some to check out this site.
Even at work - everyone knows that I get up early in order to get some exercise in before I go to work, part of that is a morning walk at the rec centre (it's too cold and sidewalks are icy and dangerous right now for outside walking). They always ask how my walk was and how many laps I go in etc.
Maybe when it gets old for them they will quit asking but right now I think they like to see that I am doing this for myself with some success. :ohwell:0 -
If you meet one person, and that person is a jerk, he's the jerk. If you meet a hundred people and they're all jerks, you're the jerk.
-Harrison Ford4 -
I think we've all been there at some point. Robert Downey Jr. said it best: "Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the f**k you were gonna do anyway."
I love Robert Downey Jr.
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I used to get upset about what people said and thought of me. Since taking up meditation I don't care what people say. Even my hubby saying I had a fat *kitten* didn't get to me I just laughed. 0
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Does anyone else get FURIOUS at people who judge you for eating healthy??? And watching what you eat?? Or tell you that you're "too obsessive" over exercise and eating healthy and should "enjoy your life??"" I'm like BACK UP, I take pride in my work in the gym and kitchen and DO ENJOY EATING HEALTHY. Sorry I don't want fries with that???!?!
The day anyone tells me I'm "too obsessive" over exercise and eating healthy, I'm hiding in my bomb shelter because it's an obvious sign of the Apocalypse.
I do understand your point, though, OP, because I am very uncomfortable with anyone looking at me while I'm eating, judging or commenting on my food. Commenting on people's food, exercise, etc. is just rude anyway. If you are beating people over the head with your healthy lifestyle you are equally to blame.
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Just this morning someone, who is not a close friend and has never had any weight issues, approached me and commented about how I was doing it too fast and I should back off. A friend standing nearby who also struggles with his weight turns around and tells him he has no right to an opinion.0
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So you're using this thread as a cool off? If you take pride in it, you shouldn't get mad over such comments0
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Does anyone else get FURIOUS at people who judge you for eating healthy??? And watching what you eat?? Or tell you that you're "too obsessive" over exercise and eating healthy and should "enjoy your life??"" I'm like BACK UP, I take pride in my work in the gym and kitchen and DO ENJOY EATING HEALTHY. Sorry I don't want fries with that???!?!
Like today I was told running long distances was terrible for you and I would have to have knee surgery and leg surgery when I got older and was basically belittled because I like running ten miles instead of being told, "Wow look at you go!" Like excuse me people, I love love LOVE being healthy and no I may not eat the entire serving of cake that is put on my plate, but that means I'm "too obsessive" and "worry about my weight too much" ?!?!?!?
People can just piss you off, ya know?
step back a second...
what exactly is "eating healthy" and why do you think that the foods you choose to eat give you a position of moral superiority over the foods that others choose to eat? food is just fuel. if you're getting enough nutritional value from your food choices, then fries can be a regular part of your diet.
of course, the foods you choose to eat are your business and nobody should be giving you a hard time so long as your diet is giving you the nutrients that you need. however, if you are disgusted when you see somebody else eating fries and you think that person is necessarily "unhealthy", then you're in the wrong too. that doesn't mean you're a bad person. it just means that you may be misinformed about the true nature of food and how your body uses it. your body doesn't care whether it gets what it needs from a diet that includes only so-called "healthy" foods or one that also includes so-called "unhealthy" foods. it simply goes to work breaking them down and extracting what it needs from them.
You are right.
However, why is it ok for someone to criticize my healthy choices but not okay for me to criticize their unhealthy ones. Both are wrong!
I would not dream of going to an overweight person and saying, "I can't believe you are eating all that fattening food". But they think nothing of saying, "come on, loosen up a little and have this _______ ( insert junk food here.). Etc.".
If someone approaches me and asks how I stay slim, I will tell them something like "mostly healthy food, most of the time and working out regularly" but even then I would never say something that would criticize their choices. I would just share my good choices.
The problem is that so many people no longer know what basic manners are. And that doesn't mean saying yes ma'am/yes sir or holding a door. It means taking others' feelings into consideration in our interactions with them.
And that includes online too, in my opinion.
We can agree/disagree/discuss without being mean, sarcastic, or snarky. That is what good communication is all about. We, as a society, are losing sight of this fact.3 -
What I can't stand is when someone comments on my weight loss, says they want to loss weight, so I tell them what I did to loss weight, and then they start talking about some other technique they heard helps you to lose weight.
Especially when this conversation has happened with the same person several times.
Seriously?
Either take my advice, or shut up about weight loss.
And yeah, I used to not talk to anyone about what I am doing, but recently everyone has been commenting on my weight loss. I can't hide that I am being healthier anymore!
THIS!!!! Don't ask me for help and then not choose to do it and continue to complain about your weight. You have to do something about it
No I don't. Just because I ask you for advise, does not mean I have to follow it. I also can complain whenever I feel like it and if I don't feel like doing something about it, I don't have to. This is after all the free world.....:o). You, in return, are perfectly ok if you don't want to waste your time on me and not care what I do.
Just playing devil's advocate....lol.2 -
It happens to me all the time with friends and family and it still drives me crazy.
I've been eating clean and living a healthy lifestyle for more than 2 years, and yet they still comment on me passing on ice-cream and fries. And they still ask me what I normally eat and then make fun of it, every freaking time.
I've started replying on the line of "please do remember this conversation the next time you'll tell me 'oh, but you're so lucky cause you look good in bikini' or 'wow, how come you're so fit'.
I am so over people making fun of my heathy eating while they eat like **** and then complaining because they're fat and I am not.
While I don't 'eat clean' I do watch my macros and workout. I have had people on these very boards tell me I am 'lucky' to look the way I do. :huh:0 -
Does anyone else get FURIOUS at people who judge you for eating healthy??? And watching what you eat?? Or tell you that you're "too obsessive" over exercise and eating healthy and should "enjoy your life??"" I'm like BACK UP, I take pride in my work in the gym and kitchen and DO ENJOY EATING HEALTHY. Sorry I don't want fries with that???!?!
Like today I was told running long distances was terrible for you and I would have to have knee surgery and leg surgery when I got older and was basically belittled because I like running ten miles instead of being told, "Wow look at you go!" Like excuse me people, I love love LOVE being healthy and no I may not eat the entire serving of cake that is put on my plate, but that means I'm "too obsessive" and "worry about my weight too much" ?!?!?!?
People can just piss you off, ya know?
step back a second...
what exactly is "eating healthy" and why do you think that the foods you choose to eat give you a position of moral superiority over the foods that others choose to eat? food is just fuel. if you're getting enough nutritional value from your food choices, then fries can be a regular part of your diet.
of course, the foods you choose to eat are your business and nobody should be giving you a hard time so long as your diet is giving you the nutrients that you need. however, if you are disgusted when you see somebody else eating fries and you think that person is necessarily "unhealthy", then you're in the wrong too. that doesn't mean you're a bad person. it just means that you may be misinformed about the true nature of food and how your body uses it. your body doesn't care whether it gets what it needs from a diet that includes only so-called "healthy" foods or one that also includes so-called "unhealthy" foods. it simply goes to work breaking them down and extracting what it needs from them.
You are right.
However, why is it ok for someone to criticize my healthy choices but not okay for me to criticize their unhealthy ones. Both are wrong!
I would not dream of going to an overweight person and saying, "I can't believe you are eating all that fattening food". But they think nothing of saying, "come on, loosen up a little and have this _______ ( insert junk food here.). Etc.".
If someone approaches me and asks how I stay slim, I will tell them something like "mostly healthy food, most of the time and working out regularly" but even then I would never say something that would criticize their choices. I would just share my good choices.
The problem is that so many people no longer know what basic manners are. And that doesn't mean saying yes ma'am/yes sir or holding a door. It means taking others' feelings into consideration in our interactions with them.
And that includes online too, in my opinion.
We can agree/disagree/discuss without being mean, sarcastic, or snarky. That is what good communication is all about. We, as a society, are losing sight of this fact.
I tell them 'I count calories'. /End of discussion.0 -
Does anyone else get FURIOUS at people who judge you for eating healthy??? And watching what you eat?? Or tell you that you're "too obsessive" over exercise and eating healthy and should "enjoy your life??"" I'm like BACK UP, I take pride in my work in the gym and kitchen and DO ENJOY EATING HEALTHY. Sorry I don't want fries with that???!?!
Like today I was told running long distances was terrible for you and I would have to have knee surgery and leg surgery when I got older and was basically belittled because I like running ten miles instead of being told, "Wow look at you go!" Like excuse me people, I love love LOVE being healthy and no I may not eat the entire serving of cake that is put on my plate, but that means I'm "too obsessive" and "worry about my weight too much" ?!?!?!?
People can just piss you off, ya know?
step back a second...
what exactly is "eating healthy" and why do you think that the foods you choose to eat give you a position of moral superiority over the foods that others choose to eat? food is just fuel. if you're getting enough nutritional value from your food choices, then fries can be a regular part of your diet.
of course, the foods you choose to eat are your business and nobody should be giving you a hard time so long as your diet is giving you the nutrients that you need. however, if you are disgusted when you see somebody else eating fries and you think that person is necessarily "unhealthy", then you're in the wrong too. that doesn't mean you're a bad person. it just means that you may be misinformed about the true nature of food and how your body uses it. your body doesn't care whether it gets what it needs from a diet that includes only so-called "healthy" foods or one that also includes so-called "unhealthy" foods. it simply goes to work breaking them down and extracting what it needs from them.
You are right.
However, why is it ok for someone to criticize my healthy choices but not okay for me to criticize their unhealthy ones. Both are wrong!
I would not dream of going to an overweight person and saying, "I can't believe you are eating all that fattening food". But they think nothing of saying, "come on, loosen up a little and have this _______ ( insert junk food here.). Etc.".
If someone approaches me and asks how I stay slim, I will tell them something like "mostly healthy food, most of the time and working out regularly" but even then I would never say something that would criticize their choices. I would just share my good choices.
The problem is that so many people no longer know what basic manners are. And that doesn't mean saying yes ma'am/yes sir or holding a door. It means taking others' feelings into consideration in our interactions with them.
And that includes online too, in my opinion.
We can agree/disagree/discuss without being mean, sarcastic, or snarky. That is what good communication is all about. We, as a society, are losing sight of this fact.
I tell them 'I count calories'. /End of discussion.
Good answer!0 -
It happens to me all the time with friends and family and it still drives me crazy.
I've been eating clean and living a healthy lifestyle for more than 2 years, and yet they still comment on me passing on ice-cream and fries. And they still ask me what I normally eat and then make fun of it, every freaking time.
I've started replying on the line of "please do remember this conversation the next time you'll tell me 'oh, but you're so lucky cause you look good in bikini' or 'wow, how come you're so fit'.
I am so over people making fun of my heathy eating while they eat like **** and then complaining because they're fat and I am not.
While I don't 'eat clean' I do watch my macros and workout. I have had people on these very boards tell me I am 'lucky' to look the way I do. :huh:
My favorite is "well just wait."1 -
Amazing how contagious lifestyle changes can be. I copped the same flack at work, people saying that it's a "health kick" and "wont last"...Now they ask me how i stay so fit and tell me about how they're going to the gym/running/dieting these days..pity they still wolf down KFC at lunch every other day, though
Yes... What a pity. Good thing you're so much better than they are, huh?
I often wonder, when these rants come up, whether the person ranting might be giving off judgmental vibes without meaning to do so.
This got me thinking. We have friends that we attend block parties and family events like kids birthdays etc. The families make fun of me all the time that I am nibbling carrots instead of Doritos. They point out if I grab strawberries instead of cookies. I have never ever commented on what others are eating or the health value of any food..
BUT I look pensive when i am making food choices. I am a vegetarian and in the last year was advised by a doctor to go dluten and dairy free. I have struggled with disordered eating in my past SO I am very thoughtful about my choices so I can feel like I am having fun party food but I do not want to feel the guilt of the Doritos that make me feel like I ate mindlessly and didn't even enjoy and now have breathe that smells like smelly feet. I sometimes spend a moment near the food looking around so I can make choices that I can live with. I don't look at other's plates, I am not even thinking about other's intake...except that sometimes I am envious of the freedom some people seem to enjoy that I just cannot. That pained look on my face could potentially look judgemental I suppose which may be why these people pick apart EVERY morsel of food I do or do not eat.
My family doesn't understand what I eat, they call my food "mulch" but they hug me and tell me they are proud that I take care of myself.2 -
Amazing how contagious lifestyle changes can be. I copped the same flack at work, people saying that it's a "health kick" and "wont last"...Now they ask me how i stay so fit and tell me about how they're going to the gym/running/dieting these days..pity they still wolf down KFC at lunch every other day, though
Yes... What a pity. Good thing you're so much better than they are, huh?
I often wonder, when these rants come up, whether the person ranting might be giving off judgmental vibes without meaning to do so.
This got me thinking. We have friends that we attend block parties and family events like kids birthdays etc. The families make fun of me all the time that I am nibbling carrots instead of Doritos. They point out if I grab strawberries instead of cookies. I have never ever commented on what others are eating or the health value of any food..
BUT I look pensive when i am making food choices. I am a vegetarian and in the last year was advised by a doctor to go dluten and dairy free. I have struggled with disordered eating in my past SO I am very thoughtful about my choices so I can feel like I am having fun party food but I do not want to feel the guilt of the Doritos that make me feel like I ate mindlessly and didn't even enjoy and now have breathe that smells like smelly feet. I sometimes spend a moment near the food looking around so I can make choices that I can live with. I don't look at other's plates, I am not even thinking about other's intake...except that sometimes I am envious of the freedom some people seem to enjoy that I just cannot. That pained look on my face could potentially look judgemental I suppose which may be why these people pick apart EVERY morsel of food I do or do not eat.
My family doesn't understand what I eat, they call my food "mulch" but they hug me and tell me they are proud that I take care of myself.
This just makes me want to give you a hug.
And I'm not a hugger.0 -
Amazing how contagious lifestyle changes can be. I copped the same flack at work, people saying that it's a "health kick" and "wont last"...Now they ask me how i stay so fit and tell me about how they're going to the gym/running/dieting these days..pity they still wolf down KFC at lunch every other day, though
Yes... What a pity. Good thing you're so much better than they are, huh?
I often wonder, when these rants come up, whether the person ranting might be giving off judgmental vibes without meaning to do so.
This got me thinking. We have friends that we attend block parties and family events like kids birthdays etc. The families make fun of me all the time that I am nibbling carrots instead of Doritos. They point out if I grab strawberries instead of cookies. I have never ever commented on what others are eating or the health value of any food..
BUT I look pensive when i am making food choices. I am a vegetarian and in the last year was advised by a doctor to go dluten and dairy free. I have struggled with disordered eating in my past SO I am very thoughtful about my choices so I can feel like I am having fun party food but I do not want to feel the guilt of the Doritos that make me feel like I ate mindlessly and didn't even enjoy and now have breathe that smells like smelly feet. I sometimes spend a moment near the food looking around so I can make choices that I can live with. I don't look at other's plates, I am not even thinking about other's intake...except that sometimes I am envious of the freedom some people seem to enjoy that I just cannot. That pained look on my face could potentially look judgemental I suppose which may be why these people pick apart EVERY morsel of food I do or do not eat.
My family doesn't understand what I eat, they call my food "mulch" but they hug me and tell me they are proud that I take care of myself.
This just makes me want to give you a hug.
And I'm not a hugger.
Thanks...consider myself hugged...I appreciate it0 -
Keep doing what you are doing...in 50 years the ones who give you their ill advice will be taking blood pressure and cholesterol meds...dealing with bad circulation , bad back due to weak muscles etc... I will be 60 in 3 months...I jog, walk/run every day about 15 miles. I do wear the best shoes I can and use knee supports, but I am more fit than my 30 year old counterparts. I do this all with severe to moderate COPD because I used to smoke. If I weren't working out like I do, I would be limited to sitting in a chair all day. Plus I look better than any 60 year old on my block! Good for you for doing what is good for you!2
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Keep doing what you are doing...in 50 years the ones who give you their ill advice will be taking blood pressure and cholesterol meds...dealing with bad circulation , bad back due to weak muscles etc... I will be 60 in 3 months...I jog, walk/run every day about 15 miles. I do wear the best shoes I can and use knee supports, but I am more fit than my 30 year old counterparts. I do this all with severe to moderate COPD because I used to smoke. If I weren't working out like I do, I would be limited to sitting in a chair all day. Plus I look better than any 60 year old on my block! Good for you for doing what is good for you!
Yes you do0 -
I'm going to be completely honest that I struggle/d with binge eating and it used to make me feel better when others would indulge with me. It kept me on this mindset that if they do it I can do it too and it excused my crappy food behaviors. I honestly think this has to do with the other person feeling guilty about their personal food choices and projecting it onto you. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you OP. It can be that the other person is making themselves feel better because they can't get a grip on their own disordered eating. Especially if these people are overweight or underweight/ED territory. Not saying this is the case every time but I bet a lot of it is personal insecurities.0
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My friends always give me attitude when I won't indulge with them, won't drink on a weeknight, won't split an appetizer, etc. I just say I like how I look and I especially love how I feel. Usually within a day they call me to ask for advice. It's other ppl projecting their own hang ups. It used to really drive me nuts but it has become amusing.
Four friends signed up for gym memberships because of me. But I don't push my thoughts on anyone unless they ask. Or are immediate family 0 -
There is a technique that you should perfect that I call "The art of listening without listening" and it is the ability to nod, make sympathetic noises and generally agree while not taking the slightest notice of what the other person is actually saying.
I always think its worth trying
This. I have to ignore it.
I have had several people (ALL of them extremely unhealthy and obese) knock at my fitness routine and eating habits. The dumbest part is when they underrate your effort by saying you have such good metabolism or whatever that it's just so easy for you to whip your body back into shape within a few months. Not so, jerks! I'm working my butt off, literally! =\
I pretty much have to ignore them because I don't like saying mean things, even to people who have been mean to me. And I'm not going to feel bad for a second about bettering myself, so don't even try that on me, buster!1 -
It happens to me all the time with friends and family and it still drives me crazy.
I've been eating clean and living a healthy lifestyle for more than 2 years, and yet they still comment on me passing on ice-cream and fries. And they still ask me what I normally eat and then make fun of it, every freaking time.
I've started replying on the line of "please do remember this conversation the next time you'll tell me 'oh, but you're so lucky cause you look good in bikini' or 'wow, how come you're so fit'.
I am so over people making fun of my heathy eating while they eat like **** and then complaining because they're fat and I am not.
While I don't 'eat clean' I do watch my macros and workout. I have had people on these very boards tell me I am 'lucky' to look the way I do. :huh:
Lucky. What is this, the bikini body lottery or something? That's so rude. It's okay, though. They'll never have the body if they think it'll just magically happen for them. You gotta work for it!1 -
I laugh internally....sometimes externally at unhealthy people telling me im killing myself by being healthy....tickles me pink :-P well purple since i have brown skin >.> dont judge me!!!!
- James1 -
"Obsessive" is what the lazy call the dedicated. Also, to your point about running, humans are the only animal put together for true long distance running (http://www.menshealth.com/fitness/the-biology-of-running). We are actually designed to run.1
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Well, not knowing anything about you - sometimes this is something people do when they see someone close to them start to exhibit frightening, obsessive, behavior that seems like it is coming close to disordered.
If you are hearing it from a lot of people, maybe it's something to think about.0 -
What other people think of me is none of my business.2
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titianwasp wrote: »"Obsessive" is what the lazy call the dedicated. Also, to your point about running, humans are the only animal put together for true long distance running (http://www.menshealth.com/fitness/the-biology-of-running). We are actually designed to run.
We are descended from hunters...try hunting large animals with a spear, without running.0 -
Holy necro'd thread, Batman.6
This discussion has been closed.
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