Looking for friends who I can relate to: EDNOS

I used to have anorexia severely when I was 18 (5'11 and 72Ibs... yes, you heard that right) and have struggled to find a balance ever since. I still have episodes of bulimia, unfortunately, but they are less and less and my focus now is on being fit and healthy, and able to keep up my activity level. I do not fast, although I used to do intermittent fasting. I eat plenty of healthy food (2000-2800 calories a day) and am pretty much close to where I wish to be, weight wise. My bodyfat is 14%, so I could perhaps be some sort of inspiration there. I will not judge, though obviously, I encourage all my friends to try and net a healthy amount for their own sakes, and do find it difficult if someone is eating a drastically low amount. Feel free to add me, if you wish and I will do my best to offer support.

I have a history of EDNOS as well. I've vacillated between being so meticulous about what I eat and obsessive about eating and weight to wanting so badly to break out of that and not weighing myself for years. I have never been able to find a place of moderation. That's what I'm trying to do now. I also have about 60 lbs to lose before being at a healthy weight, though that isn't necessarily my first goal at this time - I'd like, ideally, to lose 35 lbs before trying to get pregnant again. I have lost 5.5 since mid-February, which is the first time in my life that I've had a healthy weight loss and attempting moderation. Feel free to friend me if you'd like!

I'm also looking for like minded people" to add as friends<3...add?

I can relate! Added you I've had EDNOS for 3 years & lost 55 pounds not eating that much... I even used to record my restricted intakes last summer. Luckily i know better now, started weight-lifting last summer and now i eat so much more & have strong muscles hehe didn't even use to exercise apart from powerwalks because of lack of energy.. Anyway am still not happy with my weight (im at 110 i have to lose the last 15 lbs) so i still struggle with my eating habits... I'd skip meals and sometimes even binge so its a never ending cicle of purging & going to the gym for hours. I know how unhealthy that is & i've been working on it it only happens twice a month now but u know those days when u just had a super awesome workout your stomach is looking super flat that you cant just bring yourself to eat? Because you just feel too guilty about messing ur progress your hunger disappears.. Thats been hard hope some of you can relate xx

If you are at 110, I highly doubt you need to lose 15 pounds unless you have an EXTREMELY small frame. I can definitely sympathize though. I remember feeling incredibly fat when I hit 110 after being underweight previously. Now though, I look back at those pictures and wish I looked like that again. Be gentle with yourself, and good luck.

I've never been diagnosed with an eating disorder, but I've been struggling with food for over two years now. A few years ago, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety--the meds they gave me made me feel sick and fatigued at first, so I had no appetite and slept through meals a lot of the time. I lost about ten pounds this way. Then I decided I liked losing weight. It was effortless at the time (I couldn't eat much without my stomach hurting anyway), and it was something I could like about myself at a time when I hated pretty much everything else. I started tracking calories and consciously restricting, even when my appetite began to return. I lost twenty pounds in total and went from 118 to 98 (I'm 5'3). After a while though, I stopped losing weight (my body probably went into starvation mode). I started running, and my appetite increased--I started eating more and gaining some weight back. And I hated it. It wasn't about BEING fat at that point--it was about HAVING fat.

Over the past year and a half, I've gained all of the weight back and then some (I'm now between 125 and 130, and while I don't know what my body fat percentage is, I know it isn't great). During that time, I've gotten disgusted at points and attempted to eat as little as possible--fasting and otherwise restricting while maintaining an active and busy schedule. But it wouldn't last--restricting led to obsession, which led to binging and otherwise overeating at times. My problem now is that I've messed my system up so that I no longer have a natural relationship with food. I don't know when to stop eating. The only way I can control myself is through self-hatred; positive self-talk doesn't work. I can either relax and let go of my concerns, in which case I eat everything in sight all the time, or I can bully myself into eating healthily (or sometimes restricting too much). I've become a yo-yoer, and I hate it. My mother struggles with compulsive overeating and yo-yoing, and I always swore I'd never be like her.

Sometimes I'll go through periods of relatively healthy habits--eating in moderation, running consistently, and strength training a few times a week--but I'm constantly stressed out and busy (I'm overloading on courses, student teaching once a week, working part-time in a preschool, and participating in extracurriculars) and I have trouble finding motivation.

This week, I've been trying to eat as little as possible. It isn't good, but I like the feeling of control. However, last night I found myself eating a serving's worth of cereal out of the box because I was hungry, and looking at/thinking about "forbidden" foods creates an almost physical sensation of craving and internal conflict. I ate within 100 calories of my (healthy weight loss) net goal today and felt really angry about it, even though I know it's ridiculous.

So I guess in short, I can definitely relate to many of your struggles. Sending good thoughts to all of you.

I am also in the same boat, I guess i have EDNOS as its a combination of bulimia and binge eating. I also have a set amount of weight I need to lose but can't seem to win the battle with EDNOS. I hope we can support each other in our journey! x

Until you cut out the fasting, you will never get your eating, and consequently your weight, under control. Unfortunately you probably won't take this on board and will have to learn the hard way, as most do Fasting is contraindicated in anybody with ED.

I've had anorexia for 20+ years, but started restricting my food when I was 5. I'm also a HCP and have seen so many girls and women go through the cycle that you're going through. When it is suggested to them to cut out restriction and/or fasting, they will often refuse point blank. The weight continues to go up because they wrongly believe that "today will be different: I'll start restricting and never binge again". I had one patient who had been saying this every morning for about 25 years before the penny dropped. She weighted approximately 400lbs before she decided her way wasn't working. Please don't let this happen to you If you keep doing what you are doing, you'll keep getting the same results.

I wish you all the best - you don't deserve this horrible illness; nobody does x

Edited because I hit 'save' too early :-/