Scared

I am also a parent to a 4 year old and the best thing you can do is get healthy. I started working out at home and have moved onto the gym. My daughter has started doing "push ups" and "exercises". It makes her want to be active.

Start out slow and work your way up. I started working out with HULU workout videos, now I go to the gym 5 times week and love it. I also suggest iifym.com . Use MFP to set your own calories according to iifym.com. Also, use MFP to manually set your macro %'s. I personally TRY to get 40% protein, 30% carbs, 30% fats.

Don't eat back exercise calories.

Thank you, that all sounds very good and measured. I need to shoot for long-term, which I've never done in the past. When I was active, it wasn't hard to stay healthy but now it's hard to imagine being that active again. Realistically, though, I would like to go on a couple of walks a week. I have a family, I work, go to school, volunteer- I'm totally overextended and it's hard to imagine fitting exercise in there too. But I would love to. I have to find some short online videos, I think I could do those with my son, even, for 15-20 minutes every day. Know any good ones?

www.hasfit.com has some great exercise videos and it's all free. You can register or not, either way you can access the videos.

Just remember that what you want to do it change your lifestyle one day at a time, so make the changes (slowly, I agree!) but don't make any changes that you don't think you can live with. For example, don't become an organic vegan if it's not feasible for you. Don't swear off Hostess Ding Dongs if you think you hear the Ding Dongs calling and you can't help but answer their call. Instead, have one Ding Dong a day, or two or whatever fits into your life. Making rapid, drastic nonsustainable changes sets you up to fail.

:flowerforyou:

Thank you, that all sounds very good and measured. I need to shoot for long-term, which I've never done in the past. When I was active, it wasn't hard to stay healthy but now it's hard to imagine being that active again. Realistically, though, I would like to go on a couple of walks a week. I have a family, I work, go to school, volunteer- I'm totally overextended and it's hard to imagine fitting exercise in there too. But I would love to. I have to find some short online videos, I think I could do those with my son, even, for 15-20 minutes every day. Know any good ones?

www.hasfit.com has some great exercise videos and it's all free. You can register or not, either way you can access the videos.

Just remember that what you want to do it change your lifestyle one day at a time, so make the changes (slowly, I agree!) but don't make any changes that you don't think you can live with. For example, don't become an organic vegan if it's not feasible for you. Don't swear off Hostess Ding Dongs if you think you hear the Ding Dongs calling and you can't help but answer their call. Instead, have one Ding Dong a day, or two or whatever fits into your life. Making rapid, drastic nonsustainable changes sets you up to fail.

:flowerforyou:

THIS ^

Last night and tonight I've ate ice cream because my calories were down and my protein was up and I still had some calories to go. Dieting doesn't have to make you miserable, it's just an adjustment. You can buy workout DVD's at walmart.

Side note: The FIRST thing I would do, would be to cut out sodas etc. It's so hard and they use a lot of calories for such little reward. I never thought I'd be able to eat a meal with water and now I haven't had a soda, tea, or coffee in over a month. It's not even an issue anymore.

I can relate to much of your post!

I've found fitnessblender.com to have so many video options. I try to squeeze in at least a quick exercise session daily!

I'm 52, a bit older than you, but I could read so much of myself in your post! I was very athletic in high school and college, had three children and the 50 pounds of weight sneaked into my life over 20 years. I couldn't believe how badly my fitness, figure and body image had taken a nose-dive but I thought there was nothing I could do about it. I could never say no to anyone, so I was always doing a project or helping a cause...but I never gave anything back to myself. It took me until my early 50s to wake up and realize that I had to reclaim my life. I'm glad you're seeing it a whole lot earlier because you CAN turn this around.

I'm only down 25 pounds--halfway to my goal--so I'm no expert. But I can share the things that have worked for me:

1) Tackle one challenge at a time. For example, you might want to start by learning to say 'no' and not feeling bad for it. It's empowering, let me tell ya

2) Keep a food diary and treat it like your life depends on it. I found my best results started after I started logging everything that went in my mouth.

3) I don't do cheat days but I incorporate treats into my daily diet to help me keep my sanity. Just weigh and measure treats just like anything else. (No eating out of the bag :noway: )

4) I like to use beautiful small plates for my meals. It looks pretty and when the food fills the plate, I feel I'm getting a lot more to eat.

5) Get rid of the diet soda/pop habit, if you drink a lot of that stuff. That's the first thing I did before anything else and down went my cravings! I substituted iced tea and ice water with lemon during the summer and then in the fall/winter switched to hot green tea and ice water. After 25 years of a 2 liter Diet Pepsi every single day, I can now say I'm free of that devil.

6) Buy yourself a nice pair of yoga pants and a flattering workout top for the gym. Sure you can wear baggy sweatpants and a big t-shirt but if you feel good when you're working out, it can be mentally invigorating. Envision yourself as the person you want to be.

7) Give yourself little rewards--a pair of sexy sandals for spring when you lose the first 5 pounds; highlights in your hair after 10 pounds, etc. The best rewards are those that affirm the new you and what you're seeking to achieve.

8) Treat your workout time as "you" time. You deserve one hour out of 24 to focus entirely on yourself.

9) Build up a group of friends here who will support you every day--and do the same for them!

10) Find what works for you and stick with it. For me it's weighing in every morning and logging it on my calendar. Some people would go crazy watching the daily ups and downs, but I helps my accountability and I can see trends over the weeks. I just can't eat breakfast but I have a cup of green tea by 9 a.m. and try to eat a light snack by 11 a.m. It's not a real breakfast, but it's a compromise that I can live with. There's always a solution...you just have to find it.

I've been through many up's and down's with my health as well. What I've found helped me this time was a strong NEED to lose the weight. I needed a trip to the E.R. to finally make the decision that I was not going to live that old life anymore. So I started with very small changes, first stopped drinking anything BUT water, second, slowly spacing my meals out evenly throughout the day, then I found MFP to track my actual calories. I started to see the weight come off, this fueled my motivation even more. So I started researching healthier foods, increasing the amount of time I took walks, before you know it, it's on auto-pilot. I've read and experienced first hand that a long term "habit" takes roughly 3-4 weeks to form. Hang in there for 1 month, and you'll no longer have the feeling of being "scared".

First of all, congratulations on beginning this journey now. I wish with all my heart that I had done this when my own kids were really young. Like you, I had slowly gained weight over the years, and was busy, but not intentional about eating right and exercising. I had tried and failed at several attempts to lose weight with specific diets. Unlike you, I had never really experienced what being in shape might feel like...I had always hated exercise! About a year ago, I stumbled onto MFP and read success stories about people who had started exactly where I was...tired, overweight and discouraged by failure....and were now healthy, fit individuals. Not only that, but they had gotten fit without having to swear off the occasional real dessert or pizza. I started the next day, and just believed that if I logged everything, fitting in my macros, and exercised, I would end up losing weight and feeling better. And I have lost weight and I do feel better. Learning to be a mindful eater and moving every day has changed my life. Some hints:

- weigh/measure everything if you can

- log faithfully and be honest

- Buy snacks, fruit, nuts, etc. in portion-sized packets instead of a big bag if you think you will be tempted to keep grabbing ' a few more' (especially if you are an emotional eater.) You can also divide food into small, portion-sized ziplock bags.

- Plan ahead to fit treats or restaurant meals into your macros/calories. You do NOT have to be the only one at the table without something tasty to eat! You can eat ice cream, pizza, whatever...just fit it in.

- Don't get on the scale every day. Try once or twice a week and take the lowest number.

- Be happy with 'slow and steady'.

- It's probably best not to do some crazy hard exercise program right off the bat.( I started dancing every day with Zumba videos online. It was kinda fun and got me moving for the first time in years without it feeling like 'exercise'. Also, I had no excuse if the weather was rotten or it was late at night. I walk if it's nice outside. After a few weeks, I started Jillian Michaels 30 day shred, which kicked my butt, but after 2 weeks, I was really noticing a difference in my endurance and my body. I can't afford a gym membership, so I have stuck with fitness videos and walking.)

-Try to read a success story on MFP every day....and search for an NSV (non-scale victory) thread. These keep me motivated! NSVs are great because people are celebrating everything from a clothing size change (like XXL to XL) to doing a real push-up for the first time. Reading them helps me to notice different kinds of progress that I may be making, even if the scale isn't moving as much as I would like.

Don't be scared. You CAN do this:)

One day at a time, one baby step at a time.

I read something which has really helped me:

Motivation gets you started, habit keeps you going.

So, my advice:

Look for ways you can change your habits. For example, every day at 2 p.m. I tended to start noshing on junk. I don't even have to look at the clock, that's just when I start to eat without thinking. So, now I do something which keeps me away from food...it could be taking a walk, cleaning something, doing something...anything that is not food. It took about 2 weeks of real effort, but now, I don't slam down an extra 400 calories between 2 and 2:30 p.m.

Just pick something that you always do that you know isn't helping you reach your goals (maybe eating all the leftover kid snack food...I did that a lot when our son was your child's age) or sitting down in front of the TV at the end of a long day and just eating (I've learned never to eat while watching TV...that's 500 calories for me.)..and focus on those habits and changing them.

Hi, I think you are on the right track, starting with keeping a food diary! I'm an emotional eater too, and I worry about not reaching my goals a lot as well... If you want, you could add me as a friend and we could help cheer each other on (I need someone to click like when I remember to add to my food diary or take a walk, so if anyone else wants to add me as a friend that would be great!!!!)

Since you are training to be a psychotherapist, there are two books you might enjoy, the Beck Diet Solution by Judith Beck, and Breaking the Pattern by Charles Platkin. They both got me thinking about why I do what I do, and they use proven methods to help change behavior.