Fat Shaming

Once a person finds their way out of a situation, they often see that it should have been done a long time ago. They forget that it was hard at first, they just know that they did it and others could do it too. It reminds me of smokers. Once they quit, some tend to consider it all so disgusting and urge others to quit when they just did it themselves. (Yes, its disgusting, but you weren't putting the smokers down when you were smoking too, were you?) I quit smoking two years ago and vowed to never be that way. Instead, only when asked, I share my story. How I did it and all of the benefits I reap every single day. Maybe tell your sister about that. Instead of putting people down, she can be the one who convinces someone else that they can do it too. In the meantime, don't let your feelings be hurt. This may just be her way of reminding herself not to return to where she started.

She sounds delightful.

I think the fact that you call your sister your pride and joy is so sweet and goes to show that the two of you have a strong bond. Maybe you can approach it just by saying, look, I am struggling with my weight as you once were as well, and I can use all the positivity you can give me. And part of that is laying off the fat comments, even though they're about other people, when I'm around.

You obviously love and support your sis and I think it's totally possible she hasn't considered how her comments might make you feel. Family is forever and you certainly don't want something like this coming in between yall! Good luck

Edited to add: I was just thinking, when my sister and I are together we say things we would NEVER be caught dead saying to other people. It's like a no holds barred zone, because we can completely let our guards down around each other. Which just goes to reiterate my point that she may just be speaking mindlessly and not realizing the impact it's having on you. I would even go so far as to say, look, you don't have to stop insulting people if they're jerks. Can we just call them ***holes instead of fat? Cause the problem is their personality, not their appearance, right?

Ok I'll stop now. Good luck again!

If we're talking about actual cruelty, I think that's just called being a ****ty person. Hold individuals accountable for their behavior, and stop turning everything into a societal problem by putting some psycho-babble label.on it.

If we're talking about merely stating an unpopular opinion that makes people uncomfortable, well, that's life. Suck it up.

I think formerly fat people are the hardest on themselves. Sometimes it's so easy to look in the mirror and still see an obese person. I HATED myself when I was fat. I refused to put on a bathing suit, refused to have photos taken of me, declined requests such as bridesmaid, etc.

I had every excuse in the book why I was fat. No time for exercise, ****ty metabolism, thyroid disease, PCOS, you name it. But they were excuses.

And sometimes I'll say things negative about fat, but it's really a self-reflection, and not an insult to anyone else, at least I don't mean it that way. I still have huge self-esteem issues about my appearance. I still see myself as a fat person. And I hate it. I am, and always have been, my own worst critic (except maybe my ex husband, but that's a different topic).

My point is that it's likely any comments your sister is making are far more about herself, than they are about you, or any other overweight person. It's very hard to let go of that mentality.

I find people the most obsessed over weight are the ones who fat shame the most. People who were big and was fat shamed felt less-than to other people and felt like they were socially below others. Now that they are thin, they feel socially above fat people because that is what was dug into them when fat. It doesn't help that scientific findings show fatter people get less jobs, less recalls after interviews, less promotions, less romantic interest and etc. This reinforces the idea that thin people are better than fat people, so she is just jumping on the band wagon.

Plus a lot of self-loathing. If someone was 200 pounds and loves it, they wouldn't change what they are. So I find the most critical people are fat people who lose weight, they knew they had to change from bad to good. They associate bad with fat and good with thin so they feel entitled to call out the bad, fat people.

Yes, this is fat shaming. You live and let live. Fat is not your thing, that is good. But others may like being chubby, its just her being vocally judg-y on one type of person...which is fat people. Maybe just sit herself down and say everyone is going through their path in life at their own speed. Your sister lost her weight at her time, the others are trying in life. Let them live their lives without her prejudice. They might be good people who volunteer at shelters, or are giving people who are fat. They can also be complete *kitten* too, but they are more than their size. Stop projecting her own self-hate onto others.

I just hate people in general.

I think ex smokers feel the same way about current smokers.

All kinds of former addicts (even former food addicts) feel the same way toward people who now carry their former addiction.

I think ex smokers feel the same way about current smokers.

All kinds of former addicts (even former food addicts) feel the same way toward people who now carry their former addiction.

No. This could not be further from the truth.

As an ex-smoker who knows how very hard it is to quit, I am pretty sympathetic toward those who are still addicted.

In the scenario you describe, I'm the little sister who lost weight but I was never obese. My older sister is morbidly obese. While I am alarmed when I see large folks. I don't understand having a hateful attitude toward them, or anyone else for that matter. If I were to make snide remarks about "fat people" around my sister, it would so hurt her feelings. I would hold my tongue no matter what.

Your sister needs to get a size 8 planted on her backside when she starts ranting lilke that. It's simply not OK. Can she find overweight people distasteful, sure. But she needs to learn to shut her mouth if she can find any compassion or encouragement. It's like all our moms should've taught us: If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.