sad story: kids and obesity

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ponsasinorum
ponsasinorum Posts: 11 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
A friend of mine has a 7-year old daughter who already seems to have such issues with food, it's really sad. She's just chubby for now, the type that people might just call "thick" or "stocky." But the problem is more that she doesn't seem in control of herself when it comes to eating. My son is good friends with their eldest child, and the little one often tags along on playdates and such. She constantly asks for snacks and such, and even when the other kids have finished their food and are on to playing, she's asking how much more is left, when is the next time we'll be eating, how many times will she be allowed to go back for more, etc.

It's terribly awkward to limit someone else's child's food intake, but once at our house when she scarfed 4 large slices of pizza and wanted more, I cheerfully said "gee, I'm worried you might get sick to your stomach if you play outside with all that in your tummy! How about we put it away for now, and if you're still hungry later, you can have more."

Her mom is concerned since both parents have had weight issues. It's just very sad, because as much as no one wants a kid that age to feel that she has to restrict if she's truly hungry, or that she "eats too much," it seems to have reached a point where intervention is necessary. When she asked me, I just advised her to talk about "being healthy" instead of weight and donuts, pizza, etc "not being good for your heart or blood vessels." Very sad situation to see.

Replies

  • HedgeHugs
    HedgeHugs Posts: 80
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    I think the best way to prevent these kinds of things from happening is for the parents/caretakers to provide healthy foods for their kids and teach them about eating healthy BEFORE they become overweight or before the bad eating habits start....Forgive me and correct me if I'm wrong!


    And yes, it is very sad :(
  • Jestinia
    Jestinia Posts: 1,153 Member
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    It is sad. What's really scary to me is doctor's are finding these kids have fatty liver and the beginnings of heart disease. Not to mention diabetes.

    I wish it were just about social stigma. You're absolutely right to talk about the health issues. Maybe the parents aren't aware?
  • ponsasinorum
    ponsasinorum Posts: 11 Member
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    I agree with MUSketeer3. My friend has commented to me a few times that when the little girl claims to be hungry, she'll sometimes say that if she's truly hungry, she'll have to make do with veggies, yogurt, etc., and the funny thing is, she'll scarf it down every time and still be hungry.. suggesting that she really was hungry in the first place!
  • Branstin
    Branstin Posts: 2,320 Member
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    Childhood obesity is a common problem today. Having fruits, veggies, and other healthy snacks around for her will help a lot. If her mother is the type that you could talk to openly and honestly without getting offended or bent out of shape then perhaps you could suggest taking the little girl to her pediatrician to find out if there is a medical reason for her overeating. Based on the outcome, the mother could then decide the next best approach.
  • SuperSexyDork
    SuperSexyDork Posts: 1,669 Member
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    I have a great solution for this. It's what I do with my kids. We have "always" or "all the time" foods, "most of the time" foods, and "sometimes" foods.

    Always foods are fruits, vegetables, and beans. If my kids are hungry, they can ask me and I will always say yes to fruits or vegetables. They're unlimited.

    Most of the times foods are whole grains, dairy, cheeses, meats, dried fruits, and nuts. If they're hungry, I will probably say yes to these, but most likely I'll tell them to eat a fruit or vegetable first and save these for mealtimes. Also, if I believe they've had enough of these at a meal, I say that "you've had enough most of the time foods, it's really time for some always foods."

    Sometimes foods are foods that are not so nutrient dense such as chips, white bread, candies, ice cream, poptarts, cookies, etc. These are foods that we try to limit not because they're bad for us but because they don't have as many vitamins that help us stay healthy as the other two groups.

    If you think this will help, please let your friend read this. It's given my girls a pretty healthy outlook on food thus far.
  • Marcia315
    Marcia315 Posts: 460 Member
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    I have a child like the one in the OP. her brother could not care less about food, but she is food obsessed.

    I talk about healthy foods, offer them, limit the junk in the house, and talk about feeding your body with good foods to give you energy. She still wants to eat everything in sight. And a trip to the grocery store is a nightmare.

    We have had her pediatrician talk to her about it too.

    I enroll her in sports,dance amd gymnastics, and take her to Zumba with me. Sometimes she'll do it, sometimes, she doesn't want to.

    I'm at a loss at what else to,do.

    Don't assume the parents don't know or aren't addressing it.
  • Commander_Keen
    Commander_Keen Posts: 1,179 Member
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    If the kid needs to eat, then they need to eat..
    but what they eat is on the parent..
    Have the parent feed the file carrots, apples, cherries, or berries
  • SuperSexyDork
    SuperSexyDork Posts: 1,669 Member
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    I have a child like the one in the OP. her brother could not care less about food, but she is food obsessed.

    I talk about healthy foods, offer them, limit the junk in the house, and talk about feeding your body with good foods to give you energy. She still wants to eat everything in sight. And a trip to the grocery store is a nightmare.

    We have had her pediatrician talk to her about it too.

    I enroll her in sports,dance amd gymnastics, and take her to Zumba with me. Sometimes she'll do it, sometimes, she doesn't want to.

    I'm at a loss at what else to,do.

    Don't assume the parents don't know or aren't addressing it.

    My 5 year old also really likes to eat. She likes to snack constantly during the day. The method I outlined above has kept her at a healthy weight and means that she chooses fruits and vegetables first.
  • motivatedmartha
    motivatedmartha Posts: 1,108 Member
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    This is a difficult one - children don't need to have body issues at a young age.

    Others may have a different opinion but here is my take on it. Parents/adults are in control here - provide an adequate portion for growth and play requirements and make sure that there is none left for them to continually return to. If they say they are still hungry (and you haven't been stingy with portions) tell them to go run and play outside for a bit and they can come back for something in half an hour - when main course has 'settled' - then provide something wholesome. Children do not need to diet but do need to learn to have healthy food and to exercise. Skipping games are great for little girls - Mum may need to join in! Take them out to play - ball games, running games - teach them hula hoop. Often times children eat cos they can think of nothing better to do. Also make sure they are drinking enough non sugary fluids.
  • ponsasinorum
    ponsasinorum Posts: 11 Member
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    SuperSexyDork, Aaagh, I LOVE this! I'm going to steal it for my patients! (I'm a peds nurse, that's why mom asked me.)
  • Marcia315
    Marcia315 Posts: 460 Member
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    I offer fruits and veggies at home. The problem is school, visits to friends, and gramma. I do what I can to address it, but I can't hover over her 24/7.

    I have had to limit time with gramma. I have had to tell the school that she can buy ice cream or chips 1 day a week.

    She also wants seconds, thirds, fourths at dinner. And I have to say no. Even healthy food can make you fat if you eat too much.

    She does not have an "appetite off" button.
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,179 Member
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    One of my kids is like this, wanting to constantly eat, especially when younger. Another of my kids would eat like 2 rice crackers all day if I did not remind him to eat. What we do is to involve all kids in physical activities, plus talk about what a healthy diet is and how we need all sorts of foods to be strong/smart/beautiful etc. So, we limit treats for alls to moderate amounts per day, prepare homemade treats as much as possible to have healthier choices, we have a rule of at least two fruit and one salad per day, regardless of whether etc. We do not talk about being fat or skinny, but about health.
  • SuperSexyDork
    SuperSexyDork Posts: 1,669 Member
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    SuperSexyDork, Aaagh, I LOVE this! I'm going to steal it for my patients! (I'm a peds nurse, that's why mom asked me.)

    I'm glad you like it! I had to find a way to address my youngest always being hungry starting when she was about 2. She was always height/weight proportionate but she was in the 99th percentile for both and also always hungry and wanting to snack 24/7. Kids at that age definitely don't understand healthy vs. unhealthy and healthy/unhealthy seems like an almost arbitrary concept to me. So I based it around what they could understand... and added the vitamins part later when she was more able to comprehend.
  • lucylousmummy
    lucylousmummy Posts: 348 Member
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    i appreciate that everybody has opinions and for the most part i do agree with everything said but........ my child is obese, there is no two ways about it, i feed him healthy food, cook everything from scratch to better control what goes into his diet, and he is still obese, other parents look at me as if it is my fault and ultimately judge me as being a poor parent because of this, and to be perfectly honest it really p****s me off.
    my son 14, is 6 foot tall, weighs 217lbs, and has been tall/weighed a lot since birth (10lb 4)
    my son has got a little known problem called prader-willi syndrome, this is just one of the symptoms

    Food craving and weight gain. The classic signs of the disorder are a constant craving for food and a rapid gain in weight. Because a child with Prader-Willi syndrome is always hungry, he or she eats frequently and consumes large portions. A child may develop unusual food-seeking behaviors, such as hoarding food or eating things such as garbage or frozen food.

    he is also autistic amongst other things which doesn't help.
    i know for the most part children who are obese the parent is most likely to blame, but please don't judge every obese childs parents as the same, because sometimes it isn't the parents fault

    edit for spelling
  • MarKayDee
    MarKayDee Posts: 196
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    i appreciate that everybody has opinions and for the most part i do agree with everything said but........ my child is obese, there is no two ways about it, i feed him healthy food, cook everything from scratch to better control what goes into his diet, and he is still obese, other parents look at me as if it is my fault and ultimately judge me as being a poor parent because of this, and to be perfectly honest it really p****s me off.
    my son 14, is 6 foot tall, weighs 217lbs, and has been tall/weighed a lot since birth (10lb 4)
    my son has got a little known problem called prader-willi syndrome, this is just one of the symptoms

    Food craving and weight gain. The classic signs of the disorder are a constant craving for food and a rapid gain in weight. Because a child with Prader-Willi syndrome is always hungry, he or she eats frequently and consumes large portions. A child may develop unusual food-seeking behaviors, such as hoarding food or eating things such as garbage or frozen food.

    he is also autistic amongst other things which doesn't help.
    i know for the most part children who are obese the parent is most likely to blame, but please don't judge every obese childs parents as the same, because sometimes it isn't the parents fault

    edit for spelling

    D: you poor thing. Don't worry too much about what other people think of you or your child, so long as you know you're doing your best that is all that matters. The only parents who are truly worthy of judgement are those who do not care what goes into their children from the start which you clearly aren't.
  • SuperSexyDork
    SuperSexyDork Posts: 1,669 Member
    Options
    i appreciate that everybody has opinions and for the most part i do agree with everything said but........ my child is obese, there is no two ways about it, i feed him healthy food, cook everything from scratch to better control what goes into his diet, and he is still obese, other parents look at me as if it is my fault and ultimately judge me as being a poor parent because of this, and to be perfectly honest it really p****s me off.
    my son 14, is 6 foot tall, weighs 217lbs, and has been tall/weighed a lot since birth (10lb 4)
    my son has got a little known problem called prader-willi syndrome, this is just one of the symptoms

    Food craving and weight gain. The classic signs of the disorder are a constant craving for food and a rapid gain in weight. Because a child with Prader-Willi syndrome is always hungry, he or she eats frequently and consumes large portions. A child may develop unusual food-seeking behaviors, such as hoarding food or eating things such as garbage or frozen food.

    he is also autistic amongst other things which doesn't help.
    i know for the most part children who are obese the parent is most likely to blame, but please don't judge every obese childs parents as the same, because sometimes it isn't the parents fault

    edit for spelling

    I'm sorry that you're being judged for something that is really beyond your control.

    I try to not judge other parents for things like this because I have no idea what the back story is. I do however, often see a lot of parents setting bad examples for their children or simply giving said children whatever it is they're asking for, every single time. I think this boils down to a lack of education on how to help their children.

    The advice I was giving here was simply offered because I feel it is a good solution and many parents don't have much education on the subject of teaching/enforcing good eating habits for their children. It's hard to formulate a way to reach kids at their level so I wanted to offer some help.
  • Corsetopia
    Corsetopia Posts: 307 Member
    Options
    I have a great solution for this. It's what I do with my kids. We have "always" or "all the time" foods, "most of the time" foods, and "sometimes" foods.

    Always foods are fruits, vegetables, and beans. If my kids are hungry, they can ask me and I will always say yes to fruits or vegetables. They're unlimited.

    Most of the times foods are whole grains, dairy, cheeses, meats, dried fruits, and nuts. If they're hungry, I will probably say yes to these, but most likely I'll tell them to eat a fruit or vegetable first and save these for mealtimes. Also, if I believe they've had enough of these at a meal, I say that "you've had enough most of the time foods, it's really time for some always foods."

    Sometimes foods are foods that are not so nutrient dense such as chips, white bread, candies, ice cream, poptarts, cookies, etc. These are foods that we try to limit not because they're bad for us but because they don't have as many vitamins that help us stay healthy as the other two groups.

    If you think this will help, please let your friend read this. It's given my girls a pretty healthy outlook on food thus far.

    This is a great idea and easy way to explain it to kids so they can understand, thanks!
  • lucylousmummy
    lucylousmummy Posts: 348 Member
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    @supersexydork you gave excellent advice, and for the most part i do use the same principles with food as you do, doesn't always go to plan but i can only try, i'm lucky that i can sometimes sidetrack him with fruit and he eats all his veggies
    please don't think any of it was aimed directly at you because it wasn't at all :flowerforyou:
  • motivatedmartha
    motivatedmartha Posts: 1,108 Member
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    SuperSexyDork is absolutely right for a number of reasons :

    1 a child may have a medial or psychological condition which contributes to weight gain

    2 being a parent is tough, especially when nowadays children have so much stuff available to them all the time - be it food, toys, tv, whatever. No parent likes to feel like life is a battle and for sure we all make mistakes as parents.

    Judging someone as a parent is never right - helpful advice and guidance when sought is OK.

    As my Mum used to tell me - 'walk a mile in someone else's shoes before deciding whether they are treading the right path'!

    Many of us sought to provide suggestions for a concerned friend - I for one never intended any judgement.
  • Branstin
    Branstin Posts: 2,320 Member
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    I have a child like the one in the OP. her brother could not care less about food, but she is food obsessed.

    I talk about healthy foods, offer them, limit the junk in the house, and talk about feeding your body with good foods to give you energy. She still wants to eat everything in sight. And a trip to the grocery store is a nightmare.

    We have had her pediatrician talk to her about it too.

    I enroll her in sports,dance amd gymnastics, and take her to Zumba with me. Sometimes she'll do it, sometimes, she doesn't want to.

    I'm at a loss at what else to,do.

    Don't assume the parents don't know or aren't addressing it.

    It seems to me that you have her on the correct track. It may take a little longer than you expected but give yourself credit for what you have accomplished so far. In most cases, overeating is a learned behavior and you have already started teaching her healthy lifestyle choices so stick with it and she will come around.

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