An old enemy tries to return

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Silentfool
Silentfool Posts: 189 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi,

Comfort eating and even worse secret comfort eating are trying to return to my life.


I am looking for and help or tips with this.

From when I was child I would comfort eat and secret comfort eat. Sneaking in snacks and food when ever I could

trips to collect the Takeway would mean an uneccessary snack for the way back.

I only stopped this thing a few years ago.

now it is rearing its ugly head again.

what do you guys do to get round this

David :smile:
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Replies

  • SallyJones1985
    SallyJones1985 Posts: 55 Member
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    I don't really have advice as I struggle with the same issues. Just wanted to tell you that you're not alone in this battle, and i'll be keeping an eye on this post to see if anyone has any tips on dealing with it
  • Ian214
    Ian214 Posts: 36 Member
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    You're not alone, this is my biggest problem
  • eldamiano
    eldamiano Posts: 2,667 Member
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    Lack of willpower. Just dont do it.
  • SallyJones1985
    SallyJones1985 Posts: 55 Member
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    Lack of willpower. Just dont do it.


    says someone who's obviously never dealt with the issue. very helpful advice........ :grumble:
  • lynseyscott80
    lynseyscott80 Posts: 7
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    Hi David

    I struggle with this too & I find not putting yourself in that situation until you feel a bit stronger is the best way.

    i.e. if you always sneak a snack when you go to the petrol station - only go to "pay at the pump" for a while
    if you can't resist a muffin with your coffee - don't get the coffee
    if you always visit that café/takeaway/corner shop on the way home - go a different way

    none of these is a long-term solution, but I find they help me to break the habits and I can go back to the normal way of doing things when I've built my strength up a bit.

    good luck xxx
  • butlersoft
    butlersoft Posts: 219 Member
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    It's difficult .... but ask yourself "what am I feeling? why am I wanting to do this?"

    It could be that there's an emotional trigger and if you can identify that, you can learn to avoid those triggers.

    Is it boredom? I find evenings are particularly difficult especially if I've had dinner early. Sitting watching TV makes me want to go to the fridge / cupboard and dig out some crap to eat. When I feel like this, I go to bed early.

    Drink a large glass of water; that helps immediate pangs. And perhaps look at what you're eating overall. Eating Carbs will satiate you immediately but then you'll feel you want to eat more carbs practically an hour later. Perhaps up the Protein and Fat content in your meals which will keep you feeling fuller for longer ....
  • PhearlessPhreaks
    PhearlessPhreaks Posts: 890 Member
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    Hi,

    Comfort eating and even worse secret comfort eating are trying to return to my life.


    I am looking for and help or tips with this.

    From when I was child I would comfort eat and secret comfort eat. Sneaking in snacks and food when ever I could

    trips to collect the Takeway would mean an uneccessary snack for the way back.

    I only stopped this thing a few years ago.

    now it is rearing its ugly head again.

    what do you guys do to get round this

    David :smile:

    I completely identify with your statements, and I know how hard it is to tame the beast. What willpower or strength did you draw upon to win the battle a few years ago? Try to tap into that reserve.

    The biggest thing, I think, is knowing *why* we do this. Because it isn't about requiring nutrition; it's a mental/emotional thing. What are your triggers? What and how are you feeling? There is almost always an emotional component to compulsory overindulgence and binge eating. Recognizing what is going on internally is an important first step. Once you've recognized why you're eating, acknowledge it, and then let it go. Mentally and emotionally let it go. Drink a glass of water or have some tea (I've found drinking hot herbal tea helps) and if possible, remove yourself from the situation and the temptation.

    Every situation is different, and there are myriad different reasons and triggers why we do what we do. Also, regarding willpower... something that was brought to my attention recently is the notion of ego-depletion (willpower depletion). In a nutshell, the theory is that willpower is not an inexhaustible resource to draw from, and the more stress we're under, particularly with respect to decision making, the less of it we have. It is something to read about, if only to become aware of the things in your life which sap your willpower and good decsion making abilities.

    The bottom line is this- you *can* do this. You've done it before. Every one of us has, any time we've chosen not to swing through a drive thru, not picked up a candy bar in the checkout isle... so you can do this. You just have to put and keep yourself in the proper frame of mind.

    :flowerforyou:
  • PeauxPeaux
    PeauxPeaux Posts: 71 Member
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    Sorry--it seems like you are going to get the MIGHTY WILL POWER PEOPLE pooping word poo and lifting up their lofty noses at you -- remember that what comforts some people is finding a person to feel "better than," and their snideness and their trope of JUST DO BETTER LIKE ME I AM BETTER is their secret shame. They have to push someone down to make themselves feel up....

    If a person needs comfort, they WILL get it from somewhere. We seek it til we get it. Twinkies are easy. Finding a person to feel superior to and then pushing them down is also easy, but mean to others instead of mean to self. And sneak eatign is being mean to self, if you think about it.

    I think we all have to find other things that comfort us, and when you find yourself going to get the secret snack or about to post JUST SUCK IT UP DUMMY on the internet *cough*, consider willfully replacing it with something that is both comforting and non-toxic to self or others.

    I am absolutely an emotional eater. When I begins sneaking comfort food, I have to replace it. I can't just not do it. If I am sad or hurt or lonely or stressed, I can't just say "OH WELL, you will not be comforted, suck it sad self!"

    Things that work for me, most of the time: Yoga/prayer/meditation. Declaring family movie night and falling in a pile on the sofa with husband and kids and watching a silly movie. Spending time with my uncomplicated adoring STUPID dogs. Reading an old familiar favorite book. Calling or emailing my best friend who always has my back. The sound of running water --- this works for a LOT of people. Reading by a fountain can work if you do not live near a stream or ocean

    Sometimes nothing works, and I just want the cookie. SO I try to walk to this bakery that is 1.5 miles away and get one small french macaroon that costs the earth and tastes like the living incarnation of sugar-love. The walk burns up the calories in a macaroon and then some. Between the walk and the cookie I can usually get back on track.

    Good luck!
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
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    As you have obviously overcome this in the past - what worked for you then? The type of overeating you are referring to is very individual in the triggers.

    Dig deep, buddy. Figure out why it's happening again and work through it. Good luck. It's hard, but you have proven that you are strong enough to overcome it.
  • Silentfool
    Silentfool Posts: 189 Member
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    Thanks for the great Responses.

    Boredom use to be a trigger, but this time round it is anger.

    I will take on board the helpful stuff.

    The idea of meditation is very appealing.

    it is also good to know I am not the only one.

    Thanks again :bigsmile:

    **edited for spelling
  • tootsie8700
    tootsie8700 Posts: 4 Member
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    Chewing gum? Avoiding places where you know temptations exist? Pray? Stock up on healthier stuff that will do less damage? And finally, when/if you slip, consider it a one time thing and move on. One slip is not going to ruin everything. One candy bar won't send you totally off track. But ten probably will. Hang in there.
  • Pinkranger626
    Pinkranger626 Posts: 460 Member
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    If your trigger is anger maybe you could try doing something active instead of eating? I know for me, when I'm really peeved about something a good hard workout makes me feel better AND keeps me from eating my feelings. And if your busy beating on a heavy bag, or going for a run, or throwing around some weights you won't have time to stop at Wendy's to get that baconator and biggie sized fries with a frosty... and if you do have time, you may find that after your workout you don't want it anymore.

    Find an activity that you enjoy and when you start to feel the binge come on go and do it, and tell yourself that if you still feel like this when you're done then you can have the treat (and just portion out whatever the treat is that you're craving). Usually you'll find that after getting out your frustrations and having time to really contemplate it, it won't seem so appealing anymore.

    Hope this helps
  • eldamiano
    eldamiano Posts: 2,667 Member
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    Lack of willpower. Just dont do it.


    says someone who's obviously never dealt with the issue. very helpful advice........ :grumble:

    Obviously? What else do you know about me then?

    The OP is no different to anybody else who wants to lose weight. Everyone else has to cut down in the same way and that involves a dose of willpower...
  • Yasmine91
    Yasmine91 Posts: 599 Member
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    The fact that you are able to acknowledged that the feelings are coming back is great thing. Now that you know that it's trying to come back, you can calm it down. Before you act, think about why this is happening and deal with the situation in another way. Because you and so many others know that if you eat your comfort food it's only going to make you feel awful after. Do you feel angry or sad? do a workout. You will feel so good afterwards and then you'll be able to replenish your body with a healthy meal instead of a quick bar of chocolate.

    Talk to someone, play a game, read, go on the internet or go out for a walk. When you get triggers, think before you act <3
  • David_AUS
    David_AUS Posts: 298 Member
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    Comfort food is a quick fix (pleasure) to offset some kind of pain. Will power, strategies, tools and tricks will not work forever. In this case you say anger is the trigger whether you use meditation or just ponder on why you are angry, there is probably something within yourself that you are angry about, which I suggest you consider where you are doing things that are out of kilter with what you really want from life. Resolve this anger issue with yourself and you will no longer need the comfort food.
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
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    It's a hard thing to overcome. I'm still trying. As hard as it is for me to look myself in the mirror and say this, it's all about realizing that you're letting your emotions drive. It's something that I've found is VERY easy for me to do, and quite hard to keep in check.

    Just keep reminding yourself why you're doing this....this too shall pass.
  • daveymac31
    daveymac31 Posts: 118
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    Bro, I am in the same boat. I can go for a while without eating that crap, then all of the sudden...BOOM!! I'm a Snackasaurus Rex. It gets ugly. Its the secret comfort food eating. One thing I do is look at my bank account, and see how much I am spending on that crap! Its amazing how it adds up. I then think what else could I spend that money on. Plus, usually on a Saturday night, I will have some chips watching the hockey game. Just enough to kill the craving. Good luck
  • Nissi51
    Nissi51 Posts: 381 Member
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    You need strategies to deal with whatever feelings/emotions/situations that cause you to feel discomfort .

    I don't think it's any different to anyone else who uses anything to alleviate emotional discomfort.

    IMO: Counselling, or if you are able self discovery around root cause issues and determination of resolution or coping strategies to curb tendency to turn to food....

    When you do reach for food, in those instances stop and at least ask yourself why you are doing this and what emotion, situation you are attempting to alleviate/comfort

    That was probably not helpful....
  • motivatedmartha
    motivatedmartha Posts: 1,108 Member
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    My strategies are:

    avoid places where it's easy to buy snacks - whoever posted use the pay at pump garages - great idea - do not enter that tempting kiosk!

    find snacks that you can have about your person for such eventualities - chewing gum, fruit etc

    plan some snacks into your day and then have them ready - a snack pot of veg, fruit, nuts (roasted chickpeas are goood - recipe on here somewhere)

    if it is anger that triggers it - try do something else with that anger - have a punch bag at home so you can punch the living daylights out of it (helped my nephew with his anger and saved him trashing his room periodically ;) )

    Most of all - remember you're not alone - there are loads of people on mfp who are going through the same snacking temptations and who will help and support you. If you have a strong emotion about something share it with a select group of friends on here who want to support you (keeping your friends list small so that you can relate to them - sharing any stress with them is good as they are interested but not directly involved in your life) Try and keep positive - and good luck - you can beat this!!
  • chasetwins
    chasetwins Posts: 702 Member
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    Lack of willpower. Just dont do it.


    says someone who's obviously never dealt with the issue. very helpful advice........ :grumble:

    Obviously? What else do you know about me then?

    The OP is no different to anybody else who wants to lose weight. Everyone else has to cut down in the same way and that involves a dose of willpower...


    Someone that wants / needs to lose weight is not the same as the issue OP is dealing with. People that have eating disorders (whether it be emotional or physical is irrelevant). I want to lose weight however I do not have emotional ties to food. I want to lose weight because for years I was lazy and ate the wrong food. I do not eat because I am bored or upset unlike a lot of people that have emotional ties to food.
    It is not as simple as..just don't do it. Their urges are a lot stronger than ours and takes more than will power to over come it. Fighting those urges usually lead into making the matter worse. They have to break the emotional tie before they can tap into the will power.

    For you and me..yes maybe will power is enough. For them NO - they need emotional support (which is why he posted this) and need to change their relationship with food in general..which will power can not fix!

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