Bleach Fast?

Derpes
Derpes Posts: 2,033 Member
in Chit-Chat
Will it work?

Will I lose 30 pounds in a week?

advicedogDrinkBleach.jpg
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Replies

  • Unknown
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  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
    Not only will it work, but you will have a thigh gap, a tooth gap AND a gaping vagina.

    So... COUNT ME IN!!!
  • Derpes
    Derpes Posts: 2,033 Member
    You will not have a weight problem anymore, cause you will be dead. Yes it will work.

    Are you bleach shaming? Hater!!
  • MissKim78
    MissKim78 Posts: 426 Member
    Sounds like the quick fix I've been looking for. Plus the puppy is cute...so why not?
  • jlapey
    jlapey Posts: 1,850 Member
    Is this the same as "clean" eating?
  • SofaKingRad_II
    SofaKingRad_II Posts: 591
    You'll reach your goal weight months after your death! Decay is awesome!
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  • Go_Mizzou99
    Go_Mizzou99 Posts: 2,628 Member
    Not only will it work, but you will have a thigh gap, a tooth gap AND a gaping vagina.

    Just curious if he will get a bikini bridge too?
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
    Is this the same as "clean" eating?

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
    Not only will it work, but you will have a thigh gap, a tooth gap AND a gaping vagina.

    Just curious if he will get a bikini bridge too?

    Yes.

    And also the most sparkly *kitten* in the whole world.

    b59b1071c9e15f2d42a7f64bd38aff6095f04b96fbb64b32108d17c4b6671fe1.jpg
  • Derpes
    Derpes Posts: 2,033 Member
    Not only will it work, but you will have a thigh gap, a tooth gap AND a gaping vagina.

    Just curious if he will get a bikini bridge too?

    Yes.

    And also the most sparkly *kitten* in the whole world.

    b59b1071c9e15f2d42a7f64bd38aff6095f04b96fbb64b32108d17c4b6671fe1.jpg

    Well, they say that you should clean the lettuce before tossing the salad!!!
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
    Not only will it work, but you will have a thigh gap, a tooth gap AND a gaping vagina.

    Just curious if he will get a bikini bridge too?

    Yes.

    And also the most sparkly *kitten* in the whole world.

    b59b1071c9e15f2d42a7f64bd38aff6095f04b96fbb64b32108d17c4b6671fe1.jpg

    Well, they say that you should clean the lettuce before tossing the salad!!!

    BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
    Kermit agrees!

    Chef_and_kermit.jpg
  • Cre8veLifeR
    Cre8veLifeR Posts: 1,062 Member
    as an added bonus you'll have a very clean mouth.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    Will it make me look like that puppy? Because that is a cute puppy!
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
    Will it make me look like that puppy? Because that is a cute puppy!

    My computer models say no.
    Your actual results will look more like this:
    2263299_267676270.jpg

    So embark on this fast at your own risk.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    Will it make me look like that puppy? Because that is a cute puppy!

    My computer models say no.
    Your actual results will look more like this:
    2263299_267676270.jpg

    So embark on this fast at your own risk.

    But I thought all weight loss, fitness and clothing advertising guaranteed you to look like the model in the ad. :sad: I'm sure I look like a VS model in my Wonder Bra. You can't take that away from me!
























    :tongue:
  • QueenBishOTUniverse
    QueenBishOTUniverse Posts: 14,121 Member
    Actually, for best results you should mix some bleach with some windex, this creates a super cleaning agent that will also blast all dirty toxins from your system.
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
    I'm kinda fond of this thread.
    Just sayin'.

    :laugh:
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  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Go for it. Let us know how it works out for you.
  • alyjb1121
    alyjb1121 Posts: 186 Member
    Is this the same as "clean" eating?

    hahahah. that's awesome. made my day, so far!
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    Well, it didn't quite turn out the way I thought.

    animal-being-jerks-8.jpg
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    You will not have a weight problem anymore, cause you will be dead. Yes it will work.

    and if you don't actually die, the strong alkaline (assuming it's household bleach like domestos or similar) will eat away at your oesophagus causing severe burns such that you won't be able to eat until they heal. And the chemical reaction in your stomach when the alkaline bleach neutralises your stomach acid is likely to cause vomiting, thus burning your oesophagus all over again (hence all the "do not induce vomiting" warnings for certain kinds of poisons), making sure it will be a very long time before you can swallow anything again, and in that time, you'll lose lots of weight. Or possibly die. Who knows! But you'll lose weight either way so win-win :drinker:
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    I'm kinda fond of this thread.
    Just sayin'.

    :laugh:


    yeah it's only a little bit more stupid than cleanses involving stuff like chili and lemon juice or whatever to induce diarrhoea while getting next to no nourishment in order to lose a crap ton (pardon the pun) of scale weight
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  • QueenBishOTUniverse
    QueenBishOTUniverse Posts: 14,121 Member
    You will not have a weight problem anymore, cause you will be dead. Yes it will work.

    and if you don't actually die, the strong alkaline (assuming it's household bleach like domestos or similar) will eat away at your oesophagus causing severe burns such that you won't be able to eat until they heal. And the chemical reaction in your stomach when the alkaline bleach neutralises your stomach acid is likely to cause vomiting, thus burning your oesophagus all over again (hence all the "do not induce vomiting" warnings for certain kinds of poisons), making sure it will be a very long time before you can swallow anything again, and in that time, you'll lose lots of weight. Or possibly die. Who knows! But you'll lose weight either way so win-win :drinker:

    That's why you mix it with Windex, cause chemistry......:tongue:
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  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    I imagine it would make your throat so raw you would never be able to consume food properly again

    We're still talking about drinking bleach, right?

    Ahem....yes...the bleach.....we are talking about the bleach.....

    :wink:

    Of course. And don't let it get in your eyes, because that shniz stings!
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
    I imagine it would make your throat so raw you would never be able to consume food properly again

    thats-what-she-said.gif
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