"You're the fattest skinny girl I've ever met."

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Replies

  • SugaryLynx
    SugaryLynx Posts: 2,640 Member
    That was a really crappy/creepy thing for them to do! Often family members seem to have no boundaries.

    I can only imagine that your sister meant that you have a "fat" person's appetite (RUDE) for such a small body.

    Your family likely believes your current size is maintained through nothing short of magic and thus set out to prove it by "gifting" you with food items they were certain thin people people must never eat. Seeing you actually eat it, they were certainly awe-struck. I mean, you performed a miracle before their very eyes.

    Right? As much as I wish I were magical... I'd been overweight for about 6 years, so I assume it's going to be a little until people get used to it but it sure is irritating!
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    It's just ignorance. For so many years people have been told that XX food is what makes you fat, with a complete disregard for actual nutritional science.

    But yeah, I get it too. On the rare ocassion I go for a fish n chips, my mother always needs to ask if I've given up tracking.
  • Denjo060
    Denjo060 Posts: 1,008
    When I was first starting out, I'd get comments from both Hubs and Mom along the lines of "are you allowed to eat THAT on your diet" and I calmly explained that I'm not on a diet and I can eat whatever I damn well please. Thankfully with time they figured out I knew what I was talking about since they saw me eating this way and still losing weight.

    Hubs is slowly learning what it means to eat healthy but still has a long way to go. He questions me about eating peanut butter but never questions when I'm stuffing my face with wings and pizza. SMH




    I getthe same thing lol
  • HerbertNenenger
    HerbertNenenger Posts: 453 Member
    just the "Can you eat that?s" that are inevitable. My answer: yes I can, and yes I will.
  • RivenV
    RivenV Posts: 1,667 Member
    Seriously? Creep 101. Seriously though?

    Ya. Was totally like, "And here you see the wild weightlifter girl in her natural habitat. Eating Talenti gelato straight out of the container. Fascinating. "
    "Observe how she puts a full spoonful of ice cream into her mouth and soon thereafter removes an empty spoon. It's almost as if she actually is eating the ice cream. I would like to take this moment to point out what a rare and amazing opportunity it was to capture this moment. Truly, this is invaluable insight into...the life of the female weight lifter."

    That's it! We're making a documentary!

    I'd say between the two of us, we have some pretty excellent stories about this type of thing. :tongue:

    Seriously, I've been in a very similar circumstance. Both of my parents have even separately told me "You don't have to starve to lose weight." And all I can think is, "Uh... I know? I'm not starving now, nor have I ever been..." But I'd always been larger than average growing up, typically the chubby girl of the group, etc. So much so, in fact, that there was a pretty serious preoccupation with food in our house; we would frequently be trying this or that new fad diet or encourage me to take smaller portions (but insist I drink a full 16 ounce glass of skim milk everyday because FYTW), encourage less video game playing and more sports (which I hated), and all other sorts of little "nudges" here and there. But nothing ever worked.

    So I think when I started actually losing weight they were just concerned about my health. They wanted to know that I was still being "healthy," even though they only have vague and inconsistent concepts that make up their ideal "healthy" diet. They might not bring up the idea of an ED, but when someone radically changes their lifestyle in any capacity, most peoples' first thoughts are filled with worry.
  • AnxiousPenman
    AnxiousPenman Posts: 71 Member
    This used to happen to me a lot, during my weight loss and after I'd lost 70lbs. I got down to 180 and people would still comment on my choice of food. And it never came off as questions of genuine concern ... it always came off as very cynical and smug, like they had just been waiting for me to fail so they could feel better about themselves and their lack of willpower.

    "I thought you were on a diet." -- "Should you be eating that?" -- "Are you allowed to eat that?"

    There's nothing that pisses me off more than that. When I was fat and eating crap, no judgement from anyone ... but as soon as I drop 70lbs and have a cupcake, everyone gets all smug and acts like they're better than me.

    Usually I'd just let it roll off my back, because I knew what I was doing. But there came a time when there was a pot luck, and I took a big piece of cake, and a rather large co-worker (who always did this stuff) goes "hmm, should you be eating that?"

    And I responded with: "Should you? Because I just lost 70lbs, and you're still f***ing fat."

    After that, I think people got the hint that I was really tired of the attitude.
  • JackieRL55
    JackieRL55 Posts: 144 Member
    Every time I eat period, people think I fell off the wagon. People are shocked when I tell them I eat 5-6 meals a day and they almost fall out of their chairs when they see what I eat on a workout day! LOL it's ok though. I forgive them for their ignorance because I was once ignorant too. I take the time to educate them and hope they learn something from me :)
  • Skye_NS
    Skye_NS Posts: 214 Member
    This used to happen to me a lot, during my weight loss and after I'd lost 70lbs. I got down to 180 and people would still comment on my choice of food. And it never came off as questions of genuine concern ... it always came off as very cynical and smug, like they had just been waiting for me to fail so they could feel better about themselves and their lack of willpower.

    "I thought you were on a diet." -- "Should you be eating that?" -- "Are you allowed to eat that?"

    There's nothing that pisses me off more than that. When I was fat and eating crap, no judgement from anyone ... but as soon as I drop 70lbs and have a cupcake, everyone gets all smug and acts like they're better than me.

    Usually I'd just let it roll off my back, because I knew what I was doing. But there came a time when there was a pot luck, and I took a big piece of cake, and a rather large co-worker (who always did this stuff) goes "hmm, should you be eating that?"

    And I responded with: "Should you? Because I just lost 70lbs, and you're still f***ing fat."

    After that, I think people got the hint that I was really tired of the attitude.


    You put exactly what I was thinking into words. It does sound like the OP's family is cynical and smug AND actively trying to find ways to make her fail so they can feel better about themselves. It's sad that they are wasting their efforts on sabotage instead of taking a step back and learning from her experience.

    Congrats to you both on your progress!
  • Josalinn
    Josalinn Posts: 1,066 Member
    How do you eat ice cream every day? It's so cold...Hot chocolate please :tongue: (at least until it stays above 60) for more than 2 days in a row)

    Yeah that sounds upper awkward.
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    My mother in law will sometimes make remarks like 'Well, I didn't stock the fridge with healthy stuff, just normal food'. I eat all kinds of foods, I just don't always want to eat when I visit her. -_-
  • SugaryLynx
    SugaryLynx Posts: 2,640 Member
    This used to happen to me a lot, during my weight loss and after I'd lost 70lbs. I got down to 180 and people would still comment on my choice of food. And it never came off as questions of genuine concern ... it always came off as very cynical and smug, like they had just been waiting for me to fail so they could feel better about themselves and their lack of willpower.

    "I thought you were on a diet." -- "Should you be eating that?" -- "Are you allowed to eat that?"

    There's nothing that pisses me off more than that. When I was fat and eating crap, no judgement from anyone ... but as soon as I drop 70lbs and have a cupcake, everyone gets all smug and acts like they're better than me.

    Usually I'd just let it roll off my back, because I knew what I was doing. But there came a time when there was a pot luck, and I took a big piece of cake, and a rather large co-worker (who always did this stuff) goes "hmm, should you be eating that?"

    And I responded with: "Should you? Because I just lost 70lbs, and you're still f***ing fat."

    After that, I think people got the hint that I was really tired of the attitude.


    You put exactly what I was thinking into words. It does sound like the OP's family is cynical and smug AND actively trying to find ways to make her fail so they can feel better about themselves. It's sad that they are wasting their efforts on sabotage instead of taking a step back and learning from her experience.

    Congrats to you both on your progress!

    Thank you! I totally agree. My sister had asked me how I did it and when I told her the usual response followed "I don't have time" "That's too much work". Okay. That's fine. But the don't treat me like I either have a problem or are a magical fairy. I love them both irregardless so it seems only fair they treat me the same
  • thewhitedragonfly
    thewhitedragonfly Posts: 33
    I usually make a speech (read: scream) about how it's not cool to comment on other people's eating when it's none of their business. That makes them shut up. (If I scream.)
  • SugaryLynx
    SugaryLynx Posts: 2,640 Member
    How do you eat ice cream every day? It's so cold...Hot chocolate please :tongue: (at least until it stays above 60) for more than 2 days in a row)

    Yeah that sounds upper awkward.

    Haha I'm the only one in my house that will eat ice cream year round... Well, that and my husband doesn't care for it. ... More for meeee. :P
  • margelizard
    margelizard Posts: 89 Member
    Yeah that's a pretty weird way to go about things. Nothing like a creepy family moment to bring you all together :p

    As a kid, I remember my aunt always telling me I was overweight and getting on me about going on a diet (I'm talking from age 10+ here). My mum used to just say it was puppy fat, so I just ignored my aunt's comments.

    However, as I got older, I realized that my aunt was trying to help in her own way, she just was not very good at expressing it. And my mum's excuses made it a lot easier for me to accept that I was really overweight. So now, I am kind of grateful for my aunt's honesty, if not for her methods.

    I guess that's kind of a tangent, but it's mostly a point on how delivery of "advice" or "observations" can be very different depending on a person's personality.
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
    doyouevenliftbroette?
  • ezloshead
    ezloshead Posts: 167 Member
    Don't you know that only fat people eat ice cream? Skinny people try to fill the void in their stomachs with celery and Hydroxycut.

    But seriously, this is why I haven't told my family what I'm doing. I just don't want the audience. Hopefully they'll be more understanding of you.
  • RavenhairedWoman
    RavenhairedWoman Posts: 661 Member
    I get this a lot. Whenever my coworkers see me eating cookies or pizza they act like they caught me doing something naughty. "But I thought you were on a diet!" Um, not really. "But you eat healthy all the time!" Yes, so I can have pizza and cookies...

    My (now ex) boyfriend used to tell me I eat like a fat kid and give me "the look" when I would show up with my McDonalds salad and McFlurry that fit perfectly into my macros. Then he would jiggle my (steadily shrinking) tummy. I "hated* that.

    I am so glad to read that he is an EX! I broke up with a jerk who whined about me lifting because if I kept at it I'd be stronger than him. Unfortunately I dated him longer enough to get myself completely thrown off track and I gain around 30lbs back from my lowest since I joined MFP. I'm back in the game now and I don't care what anyone else thinks or says. As long as I am tracking my calories and doing my thing I am going to get this weight off. No excuses, if I fall it is my fault and my job to pick my tail back up and get back in the game.

    OP, I hate when stuff like that happens. Fortunately my family usually doesn't say anything, progress or no. So it is mostly silence from my mom and sister. My dad sometimes says stuff like "Hey, your butt is shrinking!" *laughs* Gotta love odd comments from my dad. He means well he just has a particular way of communicating and I am one of the few that really gets him.
  • RunBakeLove
    RunBakeLove Posts: 101 Member
    People get very offended by others' choices for some reason. It is like by you choosing to eat healthy most of the time, you are pointing out that they are unhealthy. So maybe they felt good by being able to return the imaginary criticism.

    I got a lot of this when I went vegetarian. Everyone I told immediately began "justifying" their choices because I had shared one that I made. I wish I could say it got easier. Hopefully they will come around and realize how awful they're being.
  • sjbtiger
    sjbtiger Posts: 105 Member
    First of all, I just discovered Talenti a couple weeks ago. How did I not know this manna from Heaven existed?!?

    Second, it all goes back to jealousy. People who don't want to put in the work to get the results often resort to undermining your efforts to feel better about their own choices. Nothing to do with you.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    How do you eat ice cream every day? It's so cold...Hot chocolate please :tongue: (at least until it stays above 60) for more than 2 days in a row)

    Yeah that sounds upper awkward.

    Haha I'm the only one in my house that will eat ice cream year round... Well, that and my husband doesn't care for it. ... More for meeee. :P

    inner fat kid insists on ice cream year round.

    no questions asked. I have at any one time 2-4 different flavors of ice cream in the freezer.

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