"You're the fattest skinny girl I've ever met."
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This used to happen to me a lot, during my weight loss and after I'd lost 70lbs. I got down to 180 and people would still comment on my choice of food. And it never came off as questions of genuine concern ... it always came off as very cynical and smug, like they had just been waiting for me to fail so they could feel better about themselves and their lack of willpower.
"I thought you were on a diet." -- "Should you be eating that?" -- "Are you allowed to eat that?"
There's nothing that pisses me off more than that. When I was fat and eating crap, no judgement from anyone ... but as soon as I drop 70lbs and have a cupcake, everyone gets all smug and acts like they're better than me.
Usually I'd just let it roll off my back, because I knew what I was doing. But there came a time when there was a pot luck, and I took a big piece of cake, and a rather large co-worker (who always did this stuff) goes "hmm, should you be eating that?"
And I responded with: "Should you? Because I just lost 70lbs, and you're still f***ing fat."
After that, I think people got the hint that I was really tired of the attitude.
You put exactly what I was thinking into words. It does sound like the OP's family is cynical and smug AND actively trying to find ways to make her fail so they can feel better about themselves. It's sad that they are wasting their efforts on sabotage instead of taking a step back and learning from her experience.
Congrats to you both on your progress!
Thank you! I totally agree. My sister had asked me how I did it and when I told her the usual response followed "I don't have time" "That's too much work". Okay. That's fine. But the don't treat me like I either have a problem or are a magical fairy. I love them both irregardless so it seems only fair they treat me the same0 -
I usually make a speech (read: scream) about how it's not cool to comment on other people's eating when it's none of their business. That makes them shut up. (If I scream.)0
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How do you eat ice cream every day? It's so cold...Hot chocolate please
(at least until it stays above 60) for more than 2 days in a row)
Yeah that sounds upper awkward.
Haha I'm the only one in my house that will eat ice cream year round... Well, that and my husband doesn't care for it. ... More for meeee. :P0 -
Yeah that's a pretty weird way to go about things. Nothing like a creepy family moment to bring you all together
As a kid, I remember my aunt always telling me I was overweight and getting on me about going on a diet (I'm talking from age 10+ here). My mum used to just say it was puppy fat, so I just ignored my aunt's comments.
However, as I got older, I realized that my aunt was trying to help in her own way, she just was not very good at expressing it. And my mum's excuses made it a lot easier for me to accept that I was really overweight. So now, I am kind of grateful for my aunt's honesty, if not for her methods.
I guess that's kind of a tangent, but it's mostly a point on how delivery of "advice" or "observations" can be very different depending on a person's personality.0 -
doyouevenliftbroette?0
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Don't you know that only fat people eat ice cream? Skinny people try to fill the void in their stomachs with celery and Hydroxycut.
But seriously, this is why I haven't told my family what I'm doing. I just don't want the audience. Hopefully they'll be more understanding of you.0 -
I get this a lot. Whenever my coworkers see me eating cookies or pizza they act like they caught me doing something naughty. "But I thought you were on a diet!" Um, not really. "But you eat healthy all the time!" Yes, so I can have pizza and cookies...
My (now ex) boyfriend used to tell me I eat like a fat kid and give me "the look" when I would show up with my McDonalds salad and McFlurry that fit perfectly into my macros. Then he would jiggle my (steadily shrinking) tummy. I "hated* that.
I am so glad to read that he is an EX! I broke up with a jerk who whined about me lifting because if I kept at it I'd be stronger than him. Unfortunately I dated him longer enough to get myself completely thrown off track and I gain around 30lbs back from my lowest since I joined MFP. I'm back in the game now and I don't care what anyone else thinks or says. As long as I am tracking my calories and doing my thing I am going to get this weight off. No excuses, if I fall it is my fault and my job to pick my tail back up and get back in the game.
OP, I hate when stuff like that happens. Fortunately my family usually doesn't say anything, progress or no. So it is mostly silence from my mom and sister. My dad sometimes says stuff like "Hey, your butt is shrinking!" *laughs* Gotta love odd comments from my dad. He means well he just has a particular way of communicating and I am one of the few that really gets him.0 -
People get very offended by others' choices for some reason. It is like by you choosing to eat healthy most of the time, you are pointing out that they are unhealthy. So maybe they felt good by being able to return the imaginary criticism.
I got a lot of this when I went vegetarian. Everyone I told immediately began "justifying" their choices because I had shared one that I made. I wish I could say it got easier. Hopefully they will come around and realize how awful they're being.0 -
First of all, I just discovered Talenti a couple weeks ago. How did I not know this manna from Heaven existed?!?
Second, it all goes back to jealousy. People who don't want to put in the work to get the results often resort to undermining your efforts to feel better about their own choices. Nothing to do with you.0 -
How do you eat ice cream every day? It's so cold...Hot chocolate please (at least until it stays above 60) for more than 2 days in a row)
Yeah that sounds upper awkward.
Haha I'm the only one in my house that will eat ice cream year round... Well, that and my husband doesn't care for it. ... More for meeee. :P
inner fat kid insists on ice cream year round.
no questions asked. I have at any one time 2-4 different flavors of ice cream in the freezer.0 -
Ya. Was totally like, "And here you see the wild weightlifter girl in her natural habitat. Eating Talenti gelato straight out of the container. Fascinating. "
Dear Lord that's funny.... LoL0 -
just the "Can you eat that?s" that are inevitable. My answer: yes I can, and yes I will.
I have a younger sister who swears that the only possible way to ever lose weight is to go "no carb". I don't even mean "Atkins" she just eats nothing but meat and cheese. She never loses more than 5 lbs, if that. I've changed up a few of my old recipes by adding in low fat ingredients, and her reaction is always, well there's pasta in it.
Which leads to the inevitable question "You can eat that?". I'm on a strict Pre-op 1200 calories a day diet for my upcoming weight loss surgery. She doesn't seem to get that yes, I can eat that, as long as I make sure my portion size is right, and I'm within my calories. But everytime we go somewhere she tries to lecture people on carbs. Even if its the good carbs from vegetables/fruit.
It drives me nuts when my family tries to say something when they have no idea what they are doing to themselves. Her latest "diet" is that until 6pm she could eat no carb, then after that, she could eat however/whatever she wanted (which is usually processed high salt, high fat crap). Needless to say, I don't think that will work.0 -
I have chosen to surround myself with supportive ppl who just want to see me healthy, regardless of what I do to achieve that. Anyone not supportive can gtfo.Anyone else get stupid remarks for eating like a normal person? Lol
I can already hear it: "But they're FAMILY!" And? Just because you share genes with a person does not mean you need to take any sort of abuse. IMO, the remark your sister made as well as your mother putting you on display in order to snicker and make comments is abuse. Actually, I think my therapist would agree with that :laugh:
Ya, today is a bad day for me. I need to avoid the forum. I need to avoid ppl I think :explode:0 -
How do you eat ice cream every day? It's so cold...Hot chocolate please (at least until it stays above 60) for more than 2 days in a row)
Yeah that sounds upper awkward.
Haha I'm the only one in my house that will eat ice cream year round... Well, that and my husband doesn't care for it. ... More for meeee. :P
inner fat kid insists on ice cream year round.
no questions asked. I have at any one time 2-4 different flavors of ice cream in the freezer.
Guilty too! I've got black raspberry chocolate chip Talenti, pistachio Talenti, and Ben and Jerry's brownie cheesecake currently. That also makes my husband roll his eyes lol0 -
I get peed off with a lot of people tbh. One minute i'm told that i'm not eating enough calories and then as soon as I have my ONE bar of chocolate a week I'm met with tuts and looks of disapproval. I've started to tell them to mind their own bloody business!0
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I have chosen to surround myself with supportive ppl who just want to see me healthy, regardless of what I do to achieve that. Anyone not supportive can gtfo.Anyone else get stupid remarks for eating like a normal person? Lol
I can already hear it: "But they're FAMILY!" And? Just because you share genes with a person does not mean you need to take any sort of abuse. IMO, the remark your sister made as well as your mother putting you on display in order to snicker and make comments is abuse. Actually, I think my therapist would agree with that :laugh:
Ya, today is a bad day for me. I need to avoid the forum. I need to avoid ppl I think :explode:
I can agree with this, it's why I don't really visit if at all even though they live close. It's definitely a toxic environment. People sometimes need better filters, I think. Our duct tape, duct tape works wonders lol!0 -
"Observe how she puts a full spoonful of ice cream into her mouth and soon thereafter removes an empty spoon. It's almost as if she actually is eating the ice cream. I would like to take this moment to point out what a rare and amazing opportunity it was to capture this moment. Truly, this is invaluable insight into...the life of the female weight lifter."Seriously? Creep 101. Seriously though?
Ya. Was totally like, "And here you see the wild weightlifter girl in her natural habitat. Eating Talenti gelato straight out of the container. Fascinating. "
That's it! We're making a documentary!
"That is the voice of Richard Kiley. We spared no expense!"
This is just hilarious and I'm sorry your family was so weird.0 -
I have chosen to surround myself with supportive ppl who just want to see me healthy, regardless of what I do to achieve that. Anyone not supportive can gtfo.Anyone else get stupid remarks for eating like a normal person? Lol
I can already hear it: "But they're FAMILY!" And? Just because you share genes with a person does not mean you need to take any sort of abuse. IMO, the remark your sister made as well as your mother putting you on display in order to snicker and make comments is abuse. Actually, I think my therapist would agree with that :laugh:
Ya, today is a bad day for me. I need to avoid the forum. I need to avoid ppl I think :explode:
It's totally toxic, but she needs to figure out how to get there in a way that makes sense for her.0 -
LOL-yes- the food bill goes up- I buy ice cream, oreos and milk to fill the gap- eff eating chicken and veggies for that much- but I'll be quiet happy when I start cutting (cranky and hungry- but least I'll have more walking around money!!!)Ironically, I am working on my first bulk. I've actually been driving my husband insane by our steadily growing grocery bill lol
But that's an incredible comeback. 300 lb deadlift is freaking badass btw.
LOL in the interest of honest and fairness:- for the purpose of THAT discussion- I round up- it's only 285. For people who know nothing and insist on giving me **** about something- I just round. I have no shame in stretching the truth to them.
The reality is- I work hard for my body- and I will absolutely- without question - or hesitation- flaunt my results in your face if you challenge me or give me crap about what I"m doing.
Point is: I'm doing *kitten*- you are just talking *kitten*. get to stepping *kitten*.
I don't mind talking with like minded lifters and other people about it- but these people who talk like that- or attack-snark- challenge you-food shame you- whatever- they don't want to talk- they want to make you feel bad. it's a different situation. so- both barrels of vainity and snarkiness come right back at ya.
LOL "rounded" I don't think anybody is going to jump up and call you a liar over 15 pounds.0 -
I get this a lot. Whenever my coworkers see me eating cookies or pizza they act like they caught me doing something naughty. "But I thought you were on a diet!" Um, not really. "But you eat healthy all the time!" Yes, so I can have pizza and cookies...
My (now ex) boyfriend used to tell me I eat like a fat kid and give me "the look" when I would show up with my McDonalds salad and McFlurry that fit perfectly into my macros. Then he would jiggle my (steadily shrinking) tummy. I "hated* that.
I am so glad to read that he is an EX! I broke up with a jerk who whined about me lifting because if I kept at it I'd be stronger than him. Unfortunately I dated him longer enough to get myself completely thrown off track and I gain around 30lbs back from my lowest since I joined MFP. I'm back in the game now and I don't care what anyone else thinks or says. As long as I am tracking my calories and doing my thing I am going to get this weight off. No excuses, if I fall it is my fault and my job to pick my tail back up and get back in the game.
OP, I hate when stuff like that happens. Fortunately my family usually doesn't say anything, progress or no. So it is mostly silence from my mom and sister. My dad sometimes says stuff like "Hey, your butt is shrinking!" *laughs* Gotta love odd comments from my dad. He means well he just has a particular way of communicating and I am one of the few that really gets him.
He could have used it as a push to get himself stronger rather than trying to tear you down.
I'm glad you saw through that.0 -
Yes, I know the feeling. I hate when people just like stare at you because your eating like a pop tart or chocolate for once, It's like seriously what I eat shouldn't concern you as much as it is right now.0
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My sister and I have both lost a lot of weight in the last two years. She was 50 pounds overweight and I was 90. We are now both very athletic. While I was loosing weight I got praise and congratulations from my friends. While she was loosing weight she got jeers and snide comments from her friends. Her girlfriends made her feel bad for wanting to be skinny, and would try to get her to eat junk. It's like something out of mean girls. I think it's stupid what girls have to put up with. I think she looks beautiful and it's good she wants to be healthy.0
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Pretty sure there's a Chinese proverb that says, "the person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it."0
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Pretty sure there's a Chinese proverb that says, "the person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it."
I'm going to have to remember this!0 -
Been there. I was eating strawberry shortcake the other day and my sister, who has been staying with us for a couple of month, says "how's your diet going? are you still losing?" in that skeptical tone I imagine we have all heard. I just said it's going great, which it is. Down another 1.5 lb as of today, in fact.0
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He could have used it as a push to get himself stronger rather than trying to tear you down.
I'm glad you saw through that.
one crab tries to crawl out of the bucket.... the others will pull him down.
shame we are grown *kitten* adults and that's how we operate as well.0 -
My sister and I have both lost a lot of weight in the last two years. She was 50 pounds overweight and I was 90. We are now both very athletic. While I was loosing weight I got praise and congratulations from my friends. While she was loosing weight she got jeers and snide comments from her friends. Her girlfriends made her feel bad for wanting to be skinny, and would try to get her to eat junk. It's like something out of mean girls. I think it's stupid what girls have to put up with. I think she looks beautiful and it's good she wants to be healthy.
I'm sure it was a huge help for her to have your support!0 -
Just thought I'd share my sister's remark to me at my birthday party yesterday. I'm not exactly sure how she wanted be to take that. I laughed it off in her presence. It was a response to me showing her my empty plastic containers of Talenti. Her and my mother had gotten me two pints for my birthday, so I got excited and wanted to share that I actually saved the containers. I had told my mother I was excited to try the pistachio one they'd gotten me. On their way out, my mother insisted I eat some. I thought it was odd, we'd had brownies in celebration, so I had intended on saving the gelato for an evening snack. To appease her, I got it out. She snickered at me as I did so and said, "Look at her cracking it open". My sister and grandmother watched intently. I kind of felt on display. I had no idea gelato eating was a spectator's sport. I tried a few bites. It was very good. I said so and offered my family a bite. They all refused and continued to gawk. My grandmother goes, "Oh wow, I didn't know you ate ice cream. I figured with how small you were, you couldn't." I told her I eat ice cream almost every day. It was probably pretty close to tops on the awkward scale.
Anyone else get stupid remarks for eating like a normal person? Lol
Are we related somehow? I swear we must be! That would so be my mom. And my sister. i can't believe some people. I know my mom was obsessing yesterday when i had them over for dinner and I stood there and physically weighed out my portion of turkey for dinner and stuck w/salad and was getting worked up over it all!0 -
You have Deadpool in your tracker. By default, you're awesome.0
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You have Deadpool in your tracker. By default, you're awesome.
Deadpool is ma hero!0
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