Question for Ladies

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2

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  • sportyredhead01
    sportyredhead01 Posts: 482 Member
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    I don't want a roofie.
    I don't take drinks from strangers.
    All bottles must be sealed.

    And nope.

    Preach it.

    I don't want to become a Lifetime Movie.
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
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    If I was with a group of friends and he bought one for everyone, I'd have no problem with it. One just for ME, and no.
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,065 Member
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    No
  • kelly_e_montana
    kelly_e_montana Posts: 1,999 Member
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    Yes, but I am a bartender and have been for 18 years. That's how I met my partner of 12 years. I live in a town of about 30,000 so most of the guys who come up to me are customers. I take their drinks and say thank you and keep it friendly but professional. I have to keep a flirty yet distant relationship with my clientele. My partner is aware of the fact that I'm "on stage" when I go out and is okay with it because I don't take it to an inappropriate level.

    Plus, in my experience both observing and being out, you can totally take a free drink and feel no obligation to say anything other than, "Thank you."

    Let the bartender hand you the drink, for heaven's sake. Of course you don't take it from the guy.

    I do want to say that friendly drink buying is super common where I live. People often by rounds for the bar or just any random people sitting nearby. It is considered a social faux pas not to take the drink (or if you don't want a drink, you will get a token for the next time you come in). The bartender will give you a token and take the person's money whether or not you want the drink. It's just the social custom in Montana.
  • Lestrange__
    Lestrange__ Posts: 19 Member
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    I'm engaged and I always say no. I'd do the same if I was single. I don't want the guy thinking I owe him anything and I've heard too many stories of people getting roofied that way.
  • ladykaisa
    ladykaisa Posts: 236 Member
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    I accept free drinks if handed to me by the bartender, and I say thanks. I don't flirt or lead anyone on, and I do not see a drink as an implied contract of continued interaction.

    This. If you want to spend money on someone other than yourself, I won't stop you. It's not my problem you're assumed all women at the bar are single.
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
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    You bet I accept, why not? I'm not cheating on my man because I'm flirting with someone else, and he's not there. We are both secure in our relationship, a guy buying me a drink isn't going to sink us. I'll probably make buddies and hang out all night if he's a decent person. I won't lead him on and say I'm single when I'm not.
  • PhearlessPhreaks
    PhearlessPhreaks Posts: 890 Member
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    I accept free drinks if handed to me by the bartender, and I say thanks. I don't flirt or lead anyone on, and I do not see a drink as an implied contract of continued interaction.

    This would be my way of handling aforementioned hypothetical. However, the only times I've been out to a bar without my husband was in my little ski-town where I know everyone. So, more likely than not, I already knew the person buying me a drink, and probably bought them one too!
  • Yasmine91
    Yasmine91 Posts: 599 Member
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    Hell no...
  • littlebutlean
    littlebutlean Posts: 2,159 Member
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    I suspect this would depend on how good looking the guy was no? You have a fit muscular 10 point come up and offer you a drink vs an overweight 3 pointer, the answer will be different. :bigsmile:
  • MaeRay007
    MaeRay007 Posts: 68 Member
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    No, No , and No
  • dark_angel1554
    dark_angel1554 Posts: 65 Member
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    I'de be honest with the guy before he spends his cash and tell him I'm taken. If after he still wants to, sure! But it won't make a difference as I'm happily commited and will tell him that.
  • angel7472
    angel7472 Posts: 317 Member
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    If it was a group thing then yes. If its just for me then no. When a guy buys a drink for a specific person that means he is hoping to get somewhere with that person. Thats my personal experience. Better to just say I appreciate the offer but no thank you.
  • Bethie_J
    Bethie_J Posts: 43 Member
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    Nope, accepting the drink is an unspoken acceptance of further communications.
  • SamanthaD1218
    SamanthaD1218 Posts: 304 Member
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    If I was in a relationship and a stranger offered me a drink, I'd very politely turn him down. I kind of think of it this way... would I want my guy buying a random girl a drink? I know it's entirely different and all comes down to intention, but think about it this way - why is a stranger buying you a drink? Because he's flirting with you. If you accept the drink, you are (in his mind) encouraging the flirting.

    Just my opinion, though! No guy I've dated would be comfortable with me accepting a drink for a random dude. And since I am capable of buying my own drinks, it's just not an issue.
  • littlebutlean
    littlebutlean Posts: 2,159 Member
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    Nope, accepting the drink is an unspoken acceptance of further communications.

    ^ This .. from a guy's standpoint, if the drink is accepted they've opened up the lines of communication for further interest.
  • Leather_N_Lace
    Leather_N_Lace Posts: 518 Member
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    My husband doesn't go out.. So I go with my ladies. If I am at the bar and I watch the bartender make it then yes, I will accept a drink.. I am honest about being married.. Invite him over to the table to meet my girls. I may even dance with him. It is all about boundaries and being respectful to yourself and them. I'm naturally flirtatious with men and women and have a personality that most people find welcoming and fun to be around. I pretty much just let them know up front that there isn’t any chance and that I will be going home to hubs.
  • kelly_e_montana
    kelly_e_montana Posts: 1,999 Member
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    Nope, accepting the drink is an unspoken acceptance of further communications.

    ^ This .. from a guy's standpoint, if the drink is accepted they've opened up the lines of communication for further interest.

    I think it just depends on the social environment. As a bartender, I have guys buying other dudes drinks (not gay guys either) just because they think their hat is funny or they came in with someone they knew. Drinks are super cheap where I live. Actually, if where I live, if a woman wants to say, "I'm not interested," they sit in their own seat, and then they buy the guy a drink back. The drink back means, "I take care of myself but I am not snooty. I am not obligated to you and this was a friendly exchange that is now complete." I see it night after night.

    I also see that men are often confused by how women perceive things. I also think it doesn't matter. Just take the free drink and ignore the guy. Many men in bars are often there to get laid. Women should just ignore that and have fun. You can't go around tip toeing all night trying not to offend horny guys. Just do your thing and do whatever you feel comfortable with. Guys are pretty much horny all the time so it doesn't matter whether or not you accept the drink.:tongue:
  • PhearlessPhreaks
    PhearlessPhreaks Posts: 890 Member
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    I do want to say that friendly drink buying is super common where I live. People often by rounds for the bar or just any random people sitting nearby. It is considered a social faux pas not to take the drink (or if you don't want a drink, you will get a token for the next time you come in). The bartender will give you a token and take the person's money whether or not you want the drink. It's just the social custom in Montana.

    We do that in the ADK too :) Which is why it's never a problem to accept a drink!
  • cheekymcgee
    cheekymcgee Posts: 140
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    I accept free drinks if handed to me by the bartender, and I say thanks. I don't flirt or lead anyone on, and I do not see a drink as an implied contract of continued interaction.

    This!

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