OMG UNDEReating?! Did I just have an Ah Ha moment??

Also, you are working out so hard you must be gaining muscles?

She said she is eating at a deficit - which means she can't be gaining muscle but only maintaining. If you eat under your TDEE, you can't gain muscle in any measurable amount.

The exercise database on MFP. I use circuit training for Crossfit.

I read that the exercise machines are pretty undependable...isn't that right?

I believe this is true but you'll also hear quite a bit on the forums that MFP's database tends to greatly overestimate calorie burns as well. I would say to maybe start by eating back half of your workout cals, just so you know you aren't going over. Great job by the way!

Have you lost 16 pounds sense January? Thats good!
Also, you are working out so hard you must be gaining muscles?

Probably not.

Though this is normally the answer, it could be happening. OP is very overweight and a beginner to exercise - pretty much the only situation in which someone could put on muscle in a caloric deficit. So that is possible.

OP, are you taking measurements? Pictures? Anything besides the scale? The scale can be woefully unreliable and your appearance and level of fitness are vastly more important than your relationship with gravity.

Have you lost 16 pounds sense January? Thats good!
Also, you are working out so hard you must be gaining muscles?

Probably not.

Though this is normally the answer, it could be happening. OP is very overweight and a beginner to exercise - pretty much the only situation in which someone could put on muscle in a caloric deficit. So that is possible.

OP, are you taking measurements? Pictures? Anything besides the scale? The scale can be woefully unreliable and your appearance and level of fitness are vastly more important than your relationship with gravity.

That's why I said probably.

I decided not to commit to a diet (tell me I can't have a doughnut and it's the first thing I will run to (I hate doughnuts btw...I'm just a rebel lol).

Instead of cutting things out, I decided to add things in...spaghetti squash, brown rice instead of white, green smoothies, lower fat milk instead of whole, nuts instead of candy, etc.

Smart.

so, I paste this all over the place. A list of the a-ha! moments I had. Maybe they'll help / be usable or applicable:

so here:

1. don't trust the initial setup that MFP provides. If you put in the wrong/inaccurate information, it'll tell you to eat an amount that may not be applicable.
2. Make sure you eat enough.
3. Figure out what works for you and is sustainable/healthy/long term.
4. avoid fads. don't buy in to any "Hey, try the twinkie and vodka diet"
5. Don't cut out anything now that you don't plan on literally giving up forever.
6. GET A FOOD SCALE. Weigh everything. No, seriously.
7. Get an HRM with a chest strap. You'll at least have a better idea of what you're burning. It'll be more accurate than the generic info in the exercise database.. and even more than the cardio machines. This is great for steady state cardio (run/walk/etc)
8. Don't go balls out. You'll burn out. I see 300 lb people show up here, instantly start working out and cutting their intake SEVERELY... trying to cut out all of their carbs at once.. whatever. Take it slow. Figure out how much you need to eat FIRST in order to lose.. then incorporate exercise.
9. Don't cardio yourself to death.
10. Take the information on the forums with a grain of salt. A lot of people that have been here for a while.. and have been successful, may seem jaded. They give out GREAT advice day after day, only to be met with people that refuse to listen.
11. Eat real food. Not diet food. Not "low fat, sugar free, now without X." It's easier to get/find/count.
12. don't set time restrictions.
13. measure yourself weekly. Don't just weigh. Measure and take pictures.
14 BE PATIENT.
15. Avoid forum topics that have "1200" in the title. It's just full of butthurt. Lots of it.
16. If you ask a question on the forum, give as much information as you can ("yes, I have a food scale and weigh my food" is worlds better than "I eat a palm full of miscellaneous boiled chicken parts..sometimes.")
17. Be honest with yourself and honest with us.
18. This isn't a game, it's about changing your lifestyle. Do that.

pretty much that.

...and don't fall into the "1200 calorie" vertigo of suck because of:

the typical MFP users does this:
1. I wanna lose weight, let's try MFP.
2. OH! Wow, it tells me I can lose 2 lbs a WEEK? AWESOME!
3. I just sit at a desk when I'm not working out, I guess I'm sedentary.
4. MFP tells them 1200 calories, and they don't even eat that.. then they work out on top of it.. creating an even bigger deficit.
5. Lose a lot, fast, brag about 1200 calorie success.
6. Come back in a few months trying to figure out why they're dizzy, tired, not losing weight.
7. Get on the forums, ask why they aren't losing.
8. Get two responses (I eat 1200 and lose) (I eat 2200 and lose)
9. Argument ensues about who is right.

Now. That being said. These threads happen hundreds of times per day. Most times, and I mean really.. seriously.. 95% of the time.. people get the 1200 number because they don't put the right information in when they set up the account. There are a great number of people that are trying to help. I'm one of 'em.

I'm a hardcore advocate of actually finding out what works for the individual.. by means of other calculators, averages, time, practice, and patience.

Blanket prescriptions of 1200 calories "because it worked for me" is more harmful to the generic new user than the "figure out what you need to eat." Unfortunately, one is a LOT easier to type.

Find out what you need: http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/

and make sure to read: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

Everyone has already given great advice, but I will only say one thing - lower fat milk may not actually be helpful. I know opinions are split on this and reducing unnecessary calories makes sense, but the fat present helps absorb the vitamins milk provides. It's actually more beneficial to eat/drink full fat dairy, imo, and cut elsewhere.

But overall, it sounds like you have a healthy approach. What has worked for me is to get an actual TDEE via my fitbit and adjust my calories to keep around a 1,000 calorie deficit from that number. It's not always perfect, but I've been steadily losing weight with this approach, without creating too big a deficit (and eating delicious, delicious sweets). Just another idea to kick around. Good luck!