Turning 50 and feeling miserable....

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WorkInProgress323
WorkInProgress323 Posts: 114
in Getting Started
What the hell did I do to myself? I used to be so energetic, positive and had such a bubbly personality. Exercise was my life (at one time) now I don't want to get off my fat *kitten*. I think about it, constantly. I'll start tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and goes and I didn't workout. It's not that I'm not I'm not up early enough, I just don't have the desire or motivation.

I am being treated for depression since my diagnosis of colitis (been sick since 2012) but I'm not disabled! I can work out, I can eat right but I just choose not to.

I wanted to make this year the best year ever before turning 50 and it's nearly April and I only have 8 months before my 50th.

I start every darn Sunday and quit by Wednesday and I don't know why. :embarassed:
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Replies

  • nancybuss
    nancybuss Posts: 1,461 Member
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    Today is Wednesday, DO NOT QUIT! Keep going! its a lifetime and you want the second half of your life to be GOOD, to keep moving to ENJOY not Endure!

    I'm 48+ I get the age thing. I started a few years ago. Worked my way up slowly on the workouts. Now I'm addicted. You can find that again too!

    Friend me if you'd like

    Nancy
  • disneygallagirl
    disneygallagirl Posts: 515 Member
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    Hi there, it is tough to build new habits....I am still myself working on this. Depression can really suck the "get up and go" outta you. Think about a realistic plan that you can start and build on....you CAN accomplish a lot of change in 8 months! As many say, slow and steady wins the race! YOU CAN DO IT!
    I will send you a friend request.
  • babbsisthebest
    babbsisthebest Posts: 18 Member
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    I'm turning 50 in December and I said the same thing! This is going to be my best year. I have made little changes, like drinking water with my meals, pledged to eat a veggie with every meal, added some almonds for snacks and exercising. I never want to to to the gym, but if I go, I'm always glad I did. I also added some weight training. After two months I have lost 2" in my waist and 3" in my hips. I have only lost 1.5 lbs but the weight training is working and it add variety to my workout. Commit yourself to go to the gym even it's just to walk ten minutes. Add some weights for variety and before you know it you will be enjoying it and you will feel better. I know from experience.
  • MaggieTor3
    MaggieTor3 Posts: 49 Member
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    I've been happier since I turned 50 than I was in all those 50 years before! I've had problems - got run over by a car 12 years ago, and had mutliple bilateral pulmonary embolisms (blood clots in both lungs) last summer and still recovering from that.

    But I'm happier about the person I am. I no longer criticize myself for being what I'm not and never was and never will be. I accept my own faults more easily and the faults of others.

    Bette Davis said old age is no place for weaklings. That's true. But you don't live to be 50 (or more) without going through some tough stuff. Think of all the bad things you've survived, the difficult things you've done, the stuff you've accomplished.

    50 is a great age - lose a little weight, eat a little better, get a little fitter - be happy!
  • WorkInProgress323
    WorkInProgress323 Posts: 114
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    Thank you ladies for your motivational and inspirational posts.

    I will do my best to make this work.
  • katiemegcz
    katiemegcz Posts: 49 Member
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    I think sometimes we fail because we set the bar too high. Start small. I started with water. Take your weight, divide by 2 and drink that many ounces per day (as a baseline). I just did that for awhile. It helped curb my hunger and stopped me from interpreting thirst as hunger. I did not set my goal at going to the gym. I just decided that no matter what the circumstances I would get my heart rate up 15 minutes minimum a day. I travel alot, so that might mean 15 minutes on the bike or walking in the parking lot. But I got that in. I am up to 45 minutes twice a week and 30 every day now, and I feel bad when I don't do it. A fitbit helped with that. Then I started focusing on a healthy breakfast with enough protein to keep me full, and macronutrients that really nourished me.

    After you see a few pounds come off slowly, you will be inspired to up the ante a bit. After you meet a few small goals, build a little at a time. Don't try to be perfect by 50. Just shoot for a little better every day. Never diet. Make only changes you can live with forever.

    Good luck to you. You really CAN do this.
  • lcroslin
    lcroslin Posts: 22 Member
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    Obviously this is easier said than done or we wouldn't need MFP. So, I encourage you to not give. Just by being on this website you have made a positive changes in your life.
  • rhonda6373
    rhonda6373 Posts: 61
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    I suggest making sure your depression is being treated properly. I struggle with depression and find that when it is not being treated properly, it takes a monumental effort to exercise and I overeat. I do find that exercise helps a lot with mild to moderate depression.

    Here is a motivational quote, hope this helps. You can friend me if you like as well.

    Today is my tomorrow. It’s up to me to shape it, to take control and seize every opportunity. The power is in the choices I make each day. I eat well, I live well. I shape me.
  • krickell
    krickell Posts: 2
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    I'm 10 years behind you (turned 40) this year, but I understand what you're going through. I also struggle with anxiety and depression. Some others have posted about starting small. Some days I tell myself - "just go to the gym for 10 minutes" or "just walk around the block." Usually when I get started I feel better and can do more than I thought. :smile:
  • xmichaelyx
    xmichaelyx Posts: 883 Member
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    When I don't work out consistently, I don't want to work out and I get depressed.

    When I work out consistently, I enjoy working out more, look forward to it, and am no longer depressed.

    Just do it.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    Think about this...do you want to turn 51 feeling like this...

    I sure as hell didn't want to turn 41 feeling like a big bag of crap so I made the changes I needed...I turned 41 Nov 2013...and knew I had made the right choices..and 42 is looking Fab...
  • JulieE1002
    JulieE1002 Posts: 162 Member
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    I have been where you are! Send me a friend request! Read my profile and you will understand where I am coming from. Please, please believe me when I say that if I can do it, YOU CAN DO IT! I would love to support and encourage you.
  • sijomial
    sijomial Posts: 19,811 Member
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    I dreaded turning 50 but had the sense to realise if I don't sort myself out NOW I would be declining into my middle age fat, unfit and miserable.

    No more tolerating excuses that had kept me fat for 20 years - I was the only person stuffing too much food in my cake-hole after all.

    So I made a start and every day I start again.
  • Suzibluski
    Suzibluski Posts: 43 Member
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    I think sometimes we fail because we set the bar too high. Start small. I started with water. Take your weight, divide by 2 and drink that many ounces per day (as a baseline). I just did that for awhile. It helped curb my hunger and stopped me from interpreting thirst as hunger. I did not set my goal at going to the gym. I just decided that no matter what the circumstances I would get my heart rate up 15 minutes minimum a day. I travel alot, so that might mean 15 minutes on the bike or walking in the parking lot. But I got that in. I am up to 45 minutes twice a week and 30 every day now, and I feel bad when I don't do it. A fitbit helped with that. Then I started focusing on a healthy breakfast with enough protein to keep me full, and macronutrients that really nourished me.

    After you see a few pounds come off slowly, you will be inspired to up the ante a bit. After you meet a few small goals, build a little at a time. Don't try to be perfect by 50. Just shoot for a little better every day. Never diet. Make only changes you can live with forever.

    Good luck to you. You really CAN do this.


    This^^
  • Spreyton22K
    Spreyton22K Posts: 323 Member
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    Hey there,

    I wonder if it would help you to make sure everything is OK with 1st in a medical sense, maybe the depression that you are being treated for isn't being well controlled by the medication that you are on and depression will literally suck the life out of you. It is virtually impossible to counter the effects of the condition by sheer will-power alone.

    Also is the colitis well-controlled?? Having persistent gut issues can interfere with the absorption of vital nutrients, cause fatigue, pain and general malaise....again this makes it another difficulty to be overcome.

    Another possibility that comes to mind, is the chance that you may be experiencing menopausal type symptoms which can effect mood and your sense of get-up and go, perhaps this is something to discuss with your Doctor.

    Regarding the nitty gritty of getting into the mindset of life changes with the foods you eat, eating at a sensible deficit and incorporating in an exercise routine that appeals to you and one that you can see is sustainable, maybe you are feeling a little overwhelmed by everything. You are obviously worried about the turning 50 (it's not bad at all and it's certainly not the end of life as we know it), combined with making this "lifestyle" change and perhaps the reason that you only last at it a few days is that you have bitten off more than you can chew.

    Like others have said start small.....Read all that you can about nutrition.....lurk around MFP, experiment on different foods for yourself. Maybe focus on having a greater degree of fresh veg and fruit. Ditch fizzy drinks if they are your weakness. Have a bit of fun with it all...allow yourself some breathing space....Please don't buy into the ALL or NOTHING ideas that circulate....have some treats, if you adore chocolate have it (just be aware of portions) if you love red wine same thing.

    Get yourself a food scale and weigh everything you eat and log it. Get this habit under your belt.....look at this as not a chore but more like cleaning your teeth it's self-care. Maybe have a walk out in the fresh air (this is great for helping with depression, releasing feel-good endorphins and health - Win Win ). Search for MFP's topic ....Your Guide to Sexypants (or similar wording), that may help.

    I really, really wish you the best. I'm 51 and have alot of health issues and sadly have had to modify again and again what I am able to eat, how much I can be active; it isn't easy but it is doable, it takes time, patience and persistence.

    If you would like to have me as a cheer buddy, feel free to give us a message, that way I can be more forth coming with hints etc.
  • kbmnurse
    kbmnurse Posts: 2,484 Member
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    Get off your butt and stop making excuses. Are you taking an anti-depressant, if so they add to the lack of motivation and wt gain.
    Ok no motivation so get over it and stay the way you are. Harsh I am sorry but, sugar coating it isn't going to help you. GET MOVING!
  • krickell
    krickell Posts: 2
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    kbmnurse - Regarding anti-depressants adding to lack of motivation and weight gain: Yes, they do both. But if you've ever suffered from chronic anxiety or depression, you need the medication. Trying to go without it can lead to much worse results than a few extra pounds. We just have to find a way to accept that we need the meds, accept it makes motivation/weight loss harder, but - and you are right - no excuses. Get up and do it.
  • RobinLynx
    RobinLynx Posts: 60
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    *Sending big hugs* When I was depressed, I felt BAD, sad from spine pain & not being able to go back to my job, which I enjoyed, or to do anything physical I liked actually. Not worth doing things for myself. It was tough because the job was active & I was active after work, it was like everything was shut down. I hated feeling anything. (Til I got a puppy, that helped) If you are taking medicine for depression & it doesn't help, there are different types, so maybe a different type will. Bupropion (generic of Wellbutrin) helped too--it doesn't cause weight gain & Kroger's pharmacy has a great price for it (I shopped around--180 for $65.00)--until finding that, I had a bit of sticker shock. If there's a Harvey's around it's even less expensive, according to a friend in another area.

    Anyway, I slowly tackled health problems one by one & did whatever could be done, and tried not to let the stuff that can't be helped get to me. Setting up for success, so to speak.

    It helps to think of exercising as doing something for yourself. Once you do that, & see the world doesn't end if you do a couple of things for yourself, it starts to change your view of the world. Things still aren't perfect--stress & frustration, etc., are just a part of life, but I NEVER want to go to that bad, dark place again so I take the antidepressant & KNOW that, even when things are upsetting or sad occassionally, it's not out of control & it's not going to STAY that way. That was the scary part. So if the situation at hand gets hard, it makes it easier to just let it roll over until it rights itself. I do basically run from unnecessary drama & try to focus on what needs to be done--just like flushing the antidepressant money down the drain if I don't, that's one way of looking at it!

    You matter! Do small things for yourself. One thing that helps is to play your favorite music while you exercise, so it's a bit like dancing. It becomes pleasurable rather than a chore. The first exercise I do is one that revs things up--lift head up, put arms out & behind, just start moving. Looking for things that make you laugh is another thing you can do, & low-to-no calorie things that are comforting--there's a spiced herbal tea called Tulsi Chai Masala (& Tulsi Red Chai for evening) OMG it's de-stress in a cup; hot epsom salt baths; dish with a friend; cuddle or play with a pet; free kindle books; & so on. If there's something creative that you like...write about your first love...well, you know what things you like, you get the idea.

    Hope some of this helps :flowerforyou:
  • RobinLynx
    RobinLynx Posts: 60
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    Oh! Almost forgot--if you are low in Vitamin D it can make you depressed (taking it helped my antidepressant work better). It's cheap --free if you can get out in the sun a little while.
  • cdsuggs2014
    cdsuggs2014 Posts: 2 Member
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    Ok, you quit on Wednesday. This week work on Thursday morning. Next week Thursday noon. Just one small step.

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