Turning 50 and feeling miserable....
WorkInProgress323
Posts: 114
What the hell did I do to myself? I used to be so energetic, positive and had such a bubbly personality. Exercise was my life (at one time) now I don't want to get off my fat *kitten*. I think about it, constantly. I'll start tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and goes and I didn't workout. It's not that I'm not I'm not up early enough, I just don't have the desire or motivation.
I am being treated for depression since my diagnosis of colitis (been sick since 2012) but I'm not disabled! I can work out, I can eat right but I just choose not to.
I wanted to make this year the best year ever before turning 50 and it's nearly April and I only have 8 months before my 50th.
I start every darn Sunday and quit by Wednesday and I don't know why.
I am being treated for depression since my diagnosis of colitis (been sick since 2012) but I'm not disabled! I can work out, I can eat right but I just choose not to.
I wanted to make this year the best year ever before turning 50 and it's nearly April and I only have 8 months before my 50th.
I start every darn Sunday and quit by Wednesday and I don't know why.
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Replies
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Today is Wednesday, DO NOT QUIT! Keep going! its a lifetime and you want the second half of your life to be GOOD, to keep moving to ENJOY not Endure!
I'm 48+ I get the age thing. I started a few years ago. Worked my way up slowly on the workouts. Now I'm addicted. You can find that again too!
Friend me if you'd like
Nancy0 -
Hi there, it is tough to build new habits....I am still myself working on this. Depression can really suck the "get up and go" outta you. Think about a realistic plan that you can start and build on....you CAN accomplish a lot of change in 8 months! As many say, slow and steady wins the race! YOU CAN DO IT!
I will send you a friend request.0 -
I'm turning 50 in December and I said the same thing! This is going to be my best year. I have made little changes, like drinking water with my meals, pledged to eat a veggie with every meal, added some almonds for snacks and exercising. I never want to to to the gym, but if I go, I'm always glad I did. I also added some weight training. After two months I have lost 2" in my waist and 3" in my hips. I have only lost 1.5 lbs but the weight training is working and it add variety to my workout. Commit yourself to go to the gym even it's just to walk ten minutes. Add some weights for variety and before you know it you will be enjoying it and you will feel better. I know from experience.0
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I've been happier since I turned 50 than I was in all those 50 years before! I've had problems - got run over by a car 12 years ago, and had mutliple bilateral pulmonary embolisms (blood clots in both lungs) last summer and still recovering from that.
But I'm happier about the person I am. I no longer criticize myself for being what I'm not and never was and never will be. I accept my own faults more easily and the faults of others.
Bette Davis said old age is no place for weaklings. That's true. But you don't live to be 50 (or more) without going through some tough stuff. Think of all the bad things you've survived, the difficult things you've done, the stuff you've accomplished.
50 is a great age - lose a little weight, eat a little better, get a little fitter - be happy!0 -
Thank you ladies for your motivational and inspirational posts.
I will do my best to make this work.0 -
I think sometimes we fail because we set the bar too high. Start small. I started with water. Take your weight, divide by 2 and drink that many ounces per day (as a baseline). I just did that for awhile. It helped curb my hunger and stopped me from interpreting thirst as hunger. I did not set my goal at going to the gym. I just decided that no matter what the circumstances I would get my heart rate up 15 minutes minimum a day. I travel alot, so that might mean 15 minutes on the bike or walking in the parking lot. But I got that in. I am up to 45 minutes twice a week and 30 every day now, and I feel bad when I don't do it. A fitbit helped with that. Then I started focusing on a healthy breakfast with enough protein to keep me full, and macronutrients that really nourished me.
After you see a few pounds come off slowly, you will be inspired to up the ante a bit. After you meet a few small goals, build a little at a time. Don't try to be perfect by 50. Just shoot for a little better every day. Never diet. Make only changes you can live with forever.
Good luck to you. You really CAN do this.0 -
Obviously this is easier said than done or we wouldn't need MFP. So, I encourage you to not give. Just by being on this website you have made a positive changes in your life.0
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I suggest making sure your depression is being treated properly. I struggle with depression and find that when it is not being treated properly, it takes a monumental effort to exercise and I overeat. I do find that exercise helps a lot with mild to moderate depression.
Here is a motivational quote, hope this helps. You can friend me if you like as well.
Today is my tomorrow. It’s up to me to shape it, to take control and seize every opportunity. The power is in the choices I make each day. I eat well, I live well. I shape me.0 -
I'm 10 years behind you (turned 40) this year, but I understand what you're going through. I also struggle with anxiety and depression. Some others have posted about starting small. Some days I tell myself - "just go to the gym for 10 minutes" or "just walk around the block." Usually when I get started I feel better and can do more than I thought.
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When I don't work out consistently, I don't want to work out and I get depressed.
When I work out consistently, I enjoy working out more, look forward to it, and am no longer depressed.
Just do it.0 -
Think about this...do you want to turn 51 feeling like this...
I sure as hell didn't want to turn 41 feeling like a big bag of crap so I made the changes I needed...I turned 41 Nov 2013...and knew I had made the right choices..and 42 is looking Fab...0 -
I have been where you are! Send me a friend request! Read my profile and you will understand where I am coming from. Please, please believe me when I say that if I can do it, YOU CAN DO IT! I would love to support and encourage you.0
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I dreaded turning 50 but had the sense to realise if I don't sort myself out NOW I would be declining into my middle age fat, unfit and miserable.
No more tolerating excuses that had kept me fat for 20 years - I was the only person stuffing too much food in my cake-hole after all.
So I made a start and every day I start again.0 -
I think sometimes we fail because we set the bar too high. Start small. I started with water. Take your weight, divide by 2 and drink that many ounces per day (as a baseline). I just did that for awhile. It helped curb my hunger and stopped me from interpreting thirst as hunger. I did not set my goal at going to the gym. I just decided that no matter what the circumstances I would get my heart rate up 15 minutes minimum a day. I travel alot, so that might mean 15 minutes on the bike or walking in the parking lot. But I got that in. I am up to 45 minutes twice a week and 30 every day now, and I feel bad when I don't do it. A fitbit helped with that. Then I started focusing on a healthy breakfast with enough protein to keep me full, and macronutrients that really nourished me.
After you see a few pounds come off slowly, you will be inspired to up the ante a bit. After you meet a few small goals, build a little at a time. Don't try to be perfect by 50. Just shoot for a little better every day. Never diet. Make only changes you can live with forever.
Good luck to you. You really CAN do this.
This^^0 -
Hey there,
I wonder if it would help you to make sure everything is OK with 1st in a medical sense, maybe the depression that you are being treated for isn't being well controlled by the medication that you are on and depression will literally suck the life out of you. It is virtually impossible to counter the effects of the condition by sheer will-power alone.
Also is the colitis well-controlled?? Having persistent gut issues can interfere with the absorption of vital nutrients, cause fatigue, pain and general malaise....again this makes it another difficulty to be overcome.
Another possibility that comes to mind, is the chance that you may be experiencing menopausal type symptoms which can effect mood and your sense of get-up and go, perhaps this is something to discuss with your Doctor.
Regarding the nitty gritty of getting into the mindset of life changes with the foods you eat, eating at a sensible deficit and incorporating in an exercise routine that appeals to you and one that you can see is sustainable, maybe you are feeling a little overwhelmed by everything. You are obviously worried about the turning 50 (it's not bad at all and it's certainly not the end of life as we know it), combined with making this "lifestyle" change and perhaps the reason that you only last at it a few days is that you have bitten off more than you can chew.
Like others have said start small.....Read all that you can about nutrition.....lurk around MFP, experiment on different foods for yourself. Maybe focus on having a greater degree of fresh veg and fruit. Ditch fizzy drinks if they are your weakness. Have a bit of fun with it all...allow yourself some breathing space....Please don't buy into the ALL or NOTHING ideas that circulate....have some treats, if you adore chocolate have it (just be aware of portions) if you love red wine same thing.
Get yourself a food scale and weigh everything you eat and log it. Get this habit under your belt.....look at this as not a chore but more like cleaning your teeth it's self-care. Maybe have a walk out in the fresh air (this is great for helping with depression, releasing feel-good endorphins and health - Win Win ). Search for MFP's topic ....Your Guide to Sexypants (or similar wording), that may help.
I really, really wish you the best. I'm 51 and have alot of health issues and sadly have had to modify again and again what I am able to eat, how much I can be active; it isn't easy but it is doable, it takes time, patience and persistence.
If you would like to have me as a cheer buddy, feel free to give us a message, that way I can be more forth coming with hints etc.0 -
Get off your butt and stop making excuses. Are you taking an anti-depressant, if so they add to the lack of motivation and wt gain.
Ok no motivation so get over it and stay the way you are. Harsh I am sorry but, sugar coating it isn't going to help you. GET MOVING!0 -
kbmnurse - Regarding anti-depressants adding to lack of motivation and weight gain: Yes, they do both. But if you've ever suffered from chronic anxiety or depression, you need the medication. Trying to go without it can lead to much worse results than a few extra pounds. We just have to find a way to accept that we need the meds, accept it makes motivation/weight loss harder, but - and you are right - no excuses. Get up and do it.0
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*Sending big hugs* When I was depressed, I felt BAD, sad from spine pain & not being able to go back to my job, which I enjoyed, or to do anything physical I liked actually. Not worth doing things for myself. It was tough because the job was active & I was active after work, it was like everything was shut down. I hated feeling anything. (Til I got a puppy, that helped) If you are taking medicine for depression & it doesn't help, there are different types, so maybe a different type will. Bupropion (generic of Wellbutrin) helped too--it doesn't cause weight gain & Kroger's pharmacy has a great price for it (I shopped around--180 for $65.00)--until finding that, I had a bit of sticker shock. If there's a Harvey's around it's even less expensive, according to a friend in another area.
Anyway, I slowly tackled health problems one by one & did whatever could be done, and tried not to let the stuff that can't be helped get to me. Setting up for success, so to speak.
It helps to think of exercising as doing something for yourself. Once you do that, & see the world doesn't end if you do a couple of things for yourself, it starts to change your view of the world. Things still aren't perfect--stress & frustration, etc., are just a part of life, but I NEVER want to go to that bad, dark place again so I take the antidepressant & KNOW that, even when things are upsetting or sad occassionally, it's not out of control & it's not going to STAY that way. That was the scary part. So if the situation at hand gets hard, it makes it easier to just let it roll over until it rights itself. I do basically run from unnecessary drama & try to focus on what needs to be done--just like flushing the antidepressant money down the drain if I don't, that's one way of looking at it!
You matter! Do small things for yourself. One thing that helps is to play your favorite music while you exercise, so it's a bit like dancing. It becomes pleasurable rather than a chore. The first exercise I do is one that revs things up--lift head up, put arms out & behind, just start moving. Looking for things that make you laugh is another thing you can do, & low-to-no calorie things that are comforting--there's a spiced herbal tea called Tulsi Chai Masala (& Tulsi Red Chai for evening) OMG it's de-stress in a cup; hot epsom salt baths; dish with a friend; cuddle or play with a pet; free kindle books; & so on. If there's something creative that you like...write about your first love...well, you know what things you like, you get the idea.
Hope some of this helps :flowerforyou:0 -
Oh! Almost forgot--if you are low in Vitamin D it can make you depressed (taking it helped my antidepressant work better). It's cheap --free if you can get out in the sun a little while.0
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Ok, you quit on Wednesday. This week work on Thursday morning. Next week Thursday noon. Just one small step.0
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What the hell did I do to myself? I used to be so energetic, positive and had such a bubbly personality. Exercise was my life (at one time) now I don't want to get off my fat *kitten*. I think about it, constantly. I'll start tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and goes and I didn't workout. It's not that I'm not I'm not up early enough, I just don't have the desire or motivation.
I am being treated for depression since my diagnosis of colitis (been sick since 2012) but I'm not disabled! I can work out, I can eat right but I just choose not to.
I wanted to make this year the best year ever before turning 50 and it's nearly April and I only have 8 months before my 50th.
I start every darn Sunday and quit by Wednesday and I don't know why.
If you are being treated for depression and you still feel this bad, you should speak to your doctor about a change in treatment. While you are waiting for an appointment, try to incorporate small, doable changes into your routine: walk around the block, steam some veggies, walk in place while waiting for food to cook as you stand at the stove, replace one sugary snack with a piece of fruit. All of those small things add up.0 -
I think sometimes we fail because we set the bar too high. Start small. I started with water. Take your weight, divide by 2 and drink that many ounces per day (as a baseline). I just did that for awhile. It helped curb my hunger and stopped me from interpreting thirst as hunger. I did not set my goal at going to the gym. I just decided that no matter what the circumstances I would get my heart rate up 15 minutes minimum a day. I travel alot, so that might mean 15 minutes on the bike or walking in the parking lot. But I got that in. I am up to 45 minutes twice a week and 30 every day now, and I feel bad when I don't do it. A fitbit helped with that. Then I started focusing on a healthy breakfast with enough protein to keep me full, and macronutrients that really nourished me.
After you see a few pounds come off slowly, you will be inspired to up the ante a bit. After you meet a few small goals, build a little at a time. Don't try to be perfect by 50. Just shoot for a little better every day. Never diet. Make only changes you can live with forever.
^This. To get going I started taking the stairs at work, that's it.was totally winded with burning quads since I work on the 10th floor. The only thing that reinforced this was the degree of aggravation with the slow elevator. But I got to the point of being able to do the whole 10 flights and I was ready for more. You can do anything you want, if you want it bad enough. Read Slim For Life by Jillian Michaels - filled with practical doable advice. Start simple with just one thing, it really helps get you going and to build motivation. Sometimes we have to talk ourselves into things.....other times we have to act ourselves into things! Good luck!
Good luck to you. You really CAN do this.0 -
If you don't feel good, then you probably won't feel like it. You'll just have to DO IT anyway. Maybe make smaller goals with shorter timelines.....like, start with tomorrow: drink enough water and log it. Go for a walk and/or bike ride or go to the gym. Get yourself some nice, comfortable workout clothes....Old Navy has some nice ones pretty cheap! Keep making progress.....somewhere always.....and give yourself credit for it.0
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Hey there, you're not alone! I'm turning 50 this year, too, so I know exactly what you mean. The good thing is, you're in the right place now and you're reaching out to others. As you pointed out, eating right is a choice, but it can be a hard one to make and stick to when you're struggling with depression. Fortunately you haven't given up. It might feel like it sometimes, but if you had, you wouldn't be here. Feel free to friend me, and stick around MFP because it's a great place to be as you move toward that big life transition.0
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I'm 10 years behind you (turned 40) this year, but I understand what you're going through. I also struggle with anxiety and depression. Some others have posted about starting small. Some days I tell myself - "just go to the gym for 10 minutes" or "just walk around the block." Usually when I get started I feel better and can do more than I thought.
I agree. The key is getting started. It's the hardest part. Once you get past that threshold (whether it's 2, 5, or 10 minutes) the endorphins start to kick in and you actually begin to enjoy yourself. You can do this! :drinker:0 -
Get a jump rope. Download the app Gym Boss and set it to 20 secs work, 10 secs rest. Jump as quickly as you can, whatever speed that may be, if you miss just keep going. Do 8 sets. Four minutes and done.
If you are unable to get a rope then do jumping jacks, burpees, dumbbell swings or some other exercise that gets your heart rate up. Or do a mix of these but follow 20 secs work, 10 secs rest.
I'll be 50 in less than 6 months. 2 years ago I was a hormonal mess and would get so depressed I honestly didn't think I'd still be alive to reach 50. Regular exercise can change your life in more ways than just getting fit. Hang in there.0 -
I turn 50 in two days. Was dreading it but it's better than not turning 50. I think you need to get your medical issues under control if they're still not. As for all this here, I've been fat my entire life. A year ago in January I just started logging on here, reading tons of forum posts for motivation and changing things little by little. There's no need to be perfect all the time. The weight is slowly coming off but I'm in better shape than I've been in in years and I've been lower before. I walk a few miles almost every day. I find it helps my head just as much as my body. Me, my iPod and some fresh air. I've even walked all this winter in some disgusting weather and have felt the same way. Change one little thing at a time, don't look back at it, make it a permanent change you can live with. You'll be surprised at what you can do. :flowerforyou:0
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I agree with others....small goals seem to work best otherwise it just seems too overwhelming. I've got less than 2 years before hitting 50. My good days are normally mon-fri as far as eating well/exercising daily. I figure it's better to have 5 good days than zero. Congrats for doing well 4 days a week!!What the hell did I do to myself? I used to be so energetic, positive and had such a bubbly personality. Exercise was my life (at one time) now I don't want to get off my fat *kitten*. I think about it, constantly. I'll start tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and goes and I didn't workout. It's not that I'm not I'm not up early enough, I just don't have the desire or motivation.
I am being treated for depression since my diagnosis of colitis (been sick since 2012) but I'm not disabled! I can work out, I can eat right but I just choose not to.
I wanted to make this year the best year ever before turning 50 and it's nearly April and I only have 8 months before my 50th.
I start every darn Sunday and quit by Wednesday and I don't know why.
I've experienced depression, after a loss in the family. It helped to have a grateful/thankful journal. My youngest son and I would write down 3 things/people...etc everyday that we were thankful for. Doesn't matter how small it is....my son would come up with things like hot water, toilet paper, his pets.....etc. It really helped start the day off positive.
You can do it!!
If you need friends...please add me!0 -
Oh my dear I will be 53 in a couple of weeks and I honestly could have written what you did word for word. I've been dealing with depression on and off for several years and it got worse with anxiety attacks after my divorce about 18 months ago. At one time I also exercised alot and lost almost 70 lbs - which is all gained back. In my mind I can see myself doing the exercise but I just can't motivate my body to follow along.
I started taking St Johns Wort several months ago for the depression and it has helped immensely. Still just couldn't get my eating under control or motivate to exercise. Then almost 2 months ago I crossed the threshold to diabetes. I guess sadly enough that was my motivation. I waited until I had no choice. Now Im keeping track of everything to stay well within limits. In 6 weeks I've dropped 14 lbs and the A1C a few points.
I don't know if I can turn this around or reverse it but I urge you NOT to wait until something like this happens before you find that motivation.0 -
I do remember how it felt when I was depressed. I really had no "boot straps." Be gentle with yourself, but definitely set small goals with short timelines. Ask your doc about taking St. Johns Wort to help your depression....I used that herb to overcome mine. Also consider switching to a female doctor...not that male docs are not nice or competent, just that there is something better about seeing a woman doctor, IMO, as a woman.0
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