How to Accept Yourself, Your Life, Your Reality

How to Accept Yourself, Your Life, Your Reality

http://www.ehow.com/how_4816788_accept-yourself-life-reality.htm

Part of accepting yourself is getting over yourself. Yep, it's hard to hear.
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Do you really want to limit your tomorrow as well? Accept who you are, with all of your flaws, mistakes and challenges and then you'll be able to focus on the things that actually matter to you.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1 Accept yourself, no exceptions.

Yep, you're not that great at relationships in general. You need to lose a few pounds. You're wondering when the hair loss started. You're in more debt than you'd ever admit to anyone you know. You never finished college. You didn't exactly take the career path you might have. You made some regrettable decisions along the way. You've made tons of mistakes and have the scars to prove it.

Now ask yourself this: Does wearing all of that like a heavy oppressive winter coat that keeps you from lowering your arms or moving around very well make much sense? No, it doesn't. Because while your past helps to make you who you are today, your future is yours to mold and it's not very easy to do it when you've created a mental version of yourself that leaves you no room for self-confidence.

Instead of continuing to look at yourself in the same jaded way, take a step outside of your bubble and see the good. Still can't see it? Ask a close friend what about you they like. Make a list of the things you are proud of, all the way back to grade school. Post that list somewhere you will see it often, and turn to that list when you aren't feeling that great about yourself.


2 Be self-aware and then let it go.

Yes, you know you talk too much, you are bossy, you are defensive, you are jealous. You can change that if you want, and perhaps that is one of your short term goals, but if not, then be self-aware enough to catch yourself, but self-loving enough to not beat yourself up about it. It's not that big of a deal. Quick - think of three friends. Name one thing about each of them you find annoying. Yet, you're still friends with them and chances are, they've already accepted you for exactly who you are, including all your flaws. Extend that same courtesy to yourself and give yourself a much-needed break.


3 Make a short list.

Once you have accepted yourself, warts and all, you can change some things about yourself. We all have a list but often those lists get too long and complicated and then nothing is ever addressed. Narrow down a short list of things about yourself you'd like to work on. Remind yourself that it's just a list, a reminder, but not a mandate. Don't judge yourself too harshly. Look at yourself as you would a toddler: celebrate the effort and not the right or wrong of the accomplishment itself. In fact, let's take the toddler example a step farther: find a photo of yourself as a small child. Look into those eyes and see your tiny self's possibilities and remember that you are still that same person, you just need to regain your belief in yourself as a good person with infinite possibilities.

4 No do-overs.

It's your life and your reality. I'm sure you'd rather not have gotten divorced. Twice. But you did. And you can't change that now. Your choice now is to accept your reality, try to learn from it, and then look forward. It's ok to have regrets, it's not ok to punish yourself over those regrets. Learn and evolve. There are no lemon laws for our life.


5 Choose life.

Your life is a linear trip forward, propelled, yes, by your past, but being pulled by the possibilities of the unknown. You can sit in the now and do nothing, or you can live your life fully. It's not that you need to be unapologetic. I'm sure we all have plenty to feel embarrassed or regret over. It's more about embracing the you of today, with all it's emotional messy life graffiti, instead of pining for a you that you are not. I challenge you to find an unflawed individual. No one is perfect. You aren't, and that is ok.