Comments from "concerned" friends.

I lost some weight recently due to getting the flu about three weeks ago, and thus just having a lot more soft food / liquid food (smoothies, yogurt, all that stuff), since my throat hurt so much. Over the past 6 months or so I've accumulated some bad eatings habits (I've never had particularly fantastic eatings habits, but I am generally good about what I eat). I was eating a lot more microwaved food, pasta, candy, and drinking more alcohol. After being sick, I decided that I actually wanted to try and clean my eating habits, and have made it my goal to drink a lot more water (I usually drink cranberry juice, since I don't particularly like water), eat much more fruit and vegetables, and avoid microwaving food, instead going for fresher food.

However, and I will admit this, I have lost some weight due to the clean eating. I don't feel that it's noticeable (I don't notice it at least, I'm just going off of what the scale says), but I had a close friend approach me about it yesterday, telling me I need to eat more, and going so far as to say I look sort of "emaciated", and that in class (dance class, we're both dancers) it seems I have less energy. I'm not sure how to react, and it really bothered me because a) she has had really bad EDs in the past (anorexia, bulimia, etc), and gets really defensive about it whenever something makes any comment whatsoever about her not eating enough, and b) because I honestly do not see changes in my body.

So... what should I do? Do I eat in front of her just to prove I'm eating? I just basically don't know how to react because being accused of not eating just isn't a fun thing to hear.

Also I'm 5 ft, 5 inches, and in the past month went from approximately 121 lbs to about 116/117 lbs. I'm definitely still in healthy BMR range so.... Just not really sure how to approach this, I took the comments as being rather accusatory and a little upsetting.

Replies

  • schnarfo
    schnarfo Posts: 764 Member
    Hmm I'm 5'5 and 108 and eat like a horse lol don't worry about numbers if your healthy :) carry on as you would normally - if you don't have a problem you don't have a problem and it's no one else's concern :)
  • Chezzie84
    Chezzie84 Posts: 873 Member
    Be grateful you have friends that love you enough to be concerned and care enough to tell you.

    It may be they are not used to you being so slim or maybe being that slim doesn't suit you, people carry weight differently. Does not mean you are unhealthy though.
  • MagnumBurrito
    MagnumBurrito Posts: 1,070 Member
    If you do look emaciated, lift some weights, add some muscle. Problem solved. )
  • Pipsg1rl
    Pipsg1rl Posts: 1,414 Member
    The only part of what you say that causes me concern is that you feel like you have less energy. Make sure you're getting the right nutrients.
    I'm sure someone else can tell you what those might be.

    Good job on eating cleaner!!
  • Linnaea27
    Linnaea27 Posts: 639 Member
    Do you feel like you really do have less energy in dance class? (That could well be caused by getting over the flu! Seems like the flues going around this year have been the kind that don't fully go away for a month or so).

    Go by how you feel-- if you have energy and like yourself the way you are, your habits are probably fine. Just try to ignore your friend's comments at this point-- if it becomes a recurring issue, then it might be something to address, but since it's a very serious issue for her, it might be best to avoid talking about eating habits with her. I have a friend who tends to have a kind of bad relationship with food sometimes, and unless I really need to or she wants my advice, I try not to talk about food amounts with her.

    I don't know what you generally eat, but make sure you're getting a lot of protein and enough carbs, as well as vegetables. You're probably extremely active as a dancer, so play around with the amount you're eating; set your MFP account to whatever setting is appropriate for you (maintain or gain weight, I'm guessing) and follow what it says. :)
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
    Here is what I say to people that offer well-meaning advice that I have no plans on taking, yet with whom I don't wish to waste time arguing:

    "Thank you so much for your advice and concern. I'll definitely take that into consideration."

    The end. Then I immediately move on with what I was doing.
  • Sometimes people who place a lot of importance on their own weight and appearance get very uncomfortable if other people start to lose weight and they try to sabotage their friends' weightloss by telling them they've gone too far or pressuring them to eat more. "Thank you for your concern" and then ignoring the remarks should do it.