Anorexia recovery
Fenrissa
Posts: 116
When I was 15, I started to feel self conscious about my body. I compared it to other girls I went to school with and felt insecure. I weighed 140lbs at the time and decided that I was going to lose weight in an effort to get healthier and feel more confident. At first, it started innocently. I cut out pop and replaced it with water, changed my snacks from chocolate to fruit, educating myself on calories/calorie counting, and getting a gym membership. After doing that, I had managed to lose a couple pounds and felt great. I was proud of the changes I was making and I felt more confident.
That was short-lived, though. I became obsessed with counting calories, looking at thinspo, fasting, and over-exercising. During that time, a close family member passed away and things kept getting worse. I lost 50lbs within a short period of time, leaving me weighing only 90lbs at 5'5". I was then diagnosed with anorexia. My family quickly intervened and with their support, I had started gaining weight. I maintained a healthy weight and felt free of disordered thoughts and behaviors for a brief period of time.
Last Summer, I relapsed and ended up at my lowest weight of 80lbs. I was always cold, in pain, tired, and depressed. My anorexia had it's strongest grip on me for the 7 months I was maintaining that weight. After coming home from a friend's house one day, I collapsed and had to be taken to the emergency room. I was told that with the condition my health was in, it was possible for me to be dead within the next few weeks. So, I had to stay at the hospital for a couple weeks to gain some weight and be monitored during refeeding because I was at high risk for refeeding syndrome. I was terrified and against the idea of recovery at the time. But soon, I came to tolerate it. Then I came to accept it and finally, to welcome it with open arms. I was done with letting anorexia rule my life for any longer.
Now, I'm back at home and taking recovery day by day. I have a long way to go but I'm determined to get through this. It's been a rough and long journey but it's been the best thing I have ever decided to do for myself. Since gaining 16lbs, I am no longer cold and shivering all the time, my bones don't ache nearly as much, I have energy to go out, I'm gaining confidence, I don't view food as my enemy anymore, I'm getting my feminine figure back, my mind feels clear, and most of all.. I'm happy again.
That was short-lived, though. I became obsessed with counting calories, looking at thinspo, fasting, and over-exercising. During that time, a close family member passed away and things kept getting worse. I lost 50lbs within a short period of time, leaving me weighing only 90lbs at 5'5". I was then diagnosed with anorexia. My family quickly intervened and with their support, I had started gaining weight. I maintained a healthy weight and felt free of disordered thoughts and behaviors for a brief period of time.
Last Summer, I relapsed and ended up at my lowest weight of 80lbs. I was always cold, in pain, tired, and depressed. My anorexia had it's strongest grip on me for the 7 months I was maintaining that weight. After coming home from a friend's house one day, I collapsed and had to be taken to the emergency room. I was told that with the condition my health was in, it was possible for me to be dead within the next few weeks. So, I had to stay at the hospital for a couple weeks to gain some weight and be monitored during refeeding because I was at high risk for refeeding syndrome. I was terrified and against the idea of recovery at the time. But soon, I came to tolerate it. Then I came to accept it and finally, to welcome it with open arms. I was done with letting anorexia rule my life for any longer.
Now, I'm back at home and taking recovery day by day. I have a long way to go but I'm determined to get through this. It's been a rough and long journey but it's been the best thing I have ever decided to do for myself. Since gaining 16lbs, I am no longer cold and shivering all the time, my bones don't ache nearly as much, I have energy to go out, I'm gaining confidence, I don't view food as my enemy anymore, I'm getting my feminine figure back, my mind feels clear, and most of all.. I'm happy again.
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Replies
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Fenrissa, I've never had anorexia, but I used to suffer from disordered eating, so I understand (as much as one can) how all-encompassing food issues can be.
Good for you for working at recovery, and at having a healthy body weight.0 -
That's wonderful! You've come down a long road and I'm glad you're still here to make this post.0
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Hardest part for any recovery from dysfunctional eating is attitude. You are doing a good job with that attitude,,,,,hold on to it. Congratulations.0
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Congratulations on finding the path to a healthier you! Wishing you all the best on your journey.0
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Good for you! Recovery, I'm sure is not easy. I suspect it's very much like an addiction and you have to take it one day at a time.
Best of luck to you.0 -
Congratulations! I'm sure that it has been and probably will be a long road, but I'm so glad that you are walking it with the support of your friends and family. Good luck and be strong :flowerforyou:0
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Thanks everyone!!0
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Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are an inspiration and a strong, determined person. I'm glad to hear you are healthy and getting out there enjoying life. All the best xox0
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*claps*
Good job girl! I myself have seen that road and it isn't pretty. Life is much better on this road, you are beautiful, you are strong, you already know you've got this.0 -
Major props for your recovery! Looks like your doing great! Keep it up!0
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Congrats on your recovery. My prayers are with you. Please feel free to ad me as a friend if you like.0
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You're brave to share your story and I wish you the best in the future!!! Well done for making it this far and making a stand against anorexia0
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Going through this now. Ugh I almost DONT want to get better though. I dont know where I stand. I just want to feel ok.0
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I can only imagine how difficult it is to recover from an illness like this. Always remember that you are a worthy person who deserves to live a long, healthy and happy life!0
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Congratulations on your recovery. Continue to remind yourself how worth it you are! All the best in your continued success0
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Well done! Please always be happy! :flowerforyou:0
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Awesome job!
Message me if you ever want to talk. I've been through recovery a few times and am still trying to put myself back together too0 -
im so glad that you are better! it sounds like you went through a lot...keep positive. like you are doing. glad everything is ok now.0
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Good for you. I truly wish you the best.0
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You're all SO sweet, thanks for the support and encouraging words. :flowerforyou:0
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Awesome job!
Message me if you ever want to talk. I've been through recovery a few times and am still trying to put myself back together too
I wish you the best, recovery is hard (and scary at times) but it has been the greatest thing I could do for myself. Just never give up on yourself and keep getting back up when you fall. Recovery is so worth it. :flowerforyou:0 -
Lovely to hear of your recovery. My daughter aged 16 is anorexic and has just started a refeeding programme after being admitted to hospital. Your story gives me hope.
Unfortunately I have put weight on:(0 -
Hey there. Welcome to recovery. Like other people have said, you got this. It really sounds like you got this.
I always describe myself as a "recovering anorexic," even though I'm 51 and I pulled out of it in my late teens. It's like how alcoholics are always recovering. I feel like I have this Huge Thing to live with, and even though it's in the past, the only way I'll be over it is if I get brain damage and forget that coping strategy and all my history.
I just wanted to give you a wave from several decades down the road -- it's really pretty over here and I think you'll like it.1 -
When I was 15, I started to feel self conscious about my body. I compared it to other girls I went to school with and felt insecure. I weighed 140lbs at the time and decided that I was going to lose weight in an effort to get healthier and feel more confident. At first, it started innocently. I cut out pop and replaced it with water, changed my snacks from chocolate to fruit, educating myself on calories/calorie counting, and getting a gym membership. After doing that, I had managed to lose a couple pounds and felt great. I was proud of the changes I was making and I felt more confident.
That was short-lived, though. I became obsessed with counting calories, looking at thinspo, fasting, and over-exercising. During that time, a close family member passed away and things kept getting worse. I lost 50lbs within a short period of time, leaving me weighing only 90lbs at 5'5". I was then diagnosed with anorexia. My family quickly intervened and with their support, I had started gaining weight. I maintained a healthy weight and felt free of disordered thoughts and behaviors for a brief period of time.
Last Summer, I relapsed and ended up at my lowest weight of 80lbs. I was always cold, in pain, tired, and depressed. My anorexia had it's strongest grip on me for the 7 months I was maintaining that weight. After coming home from a friend's house one day, I collapsed and had to be taken to the emergency room. I was told that with the condition my health was in, it was possible for me to be dead within the next few weeks. So, I had to stay at the hospital for a couple weeks to gain some weight and be monitored during refeeding because I was at high risk for refeeding syndrome. I was terrified and against the idea of recovery at the time. But soon, I came to tolerate it. Then I came to accept it and finally, to welcome it with open arms. I was done with letting anorexia rule my life for any longer.
Now, I'm back at home and taking recovery day by day. I have a long way to go but I'm determined to get through this. It's been a rough and long journey but it's been the best thing I have ever decided to do for myself. Since gaining 16lbs, I am no longer cold and shivering all the time, my bones don't ache nearly as much, I have energy to go out, I'm gaining confidence, I don't view food as my enemy anymore, I'm getting my feminine figure back, my mind feels clear, and most of all.. I'm happy again.
Being able to talk about it now is an indication that you are on your way to recovery!1 -
Fenrissa, congratulations on you recovery. By sharing and telling your story, you are helping others as well begin their own first steps on the journey of recovery as well.0
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you are so worth so much to be the healthy beautiful person you are.Prayers being sent up like shooting stars !!
Judy0 -
Thank you for sharing your story. I wish you lots of luck on your road to recovery and well wishes.0
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