Women...What is the perfect way to be purposed to?
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I think a surprise is best...so i don't see a perfect proposal as over a romatic candlelit dinner...I would think something might be up. Same goes for on an aniversary, or valentines day...it's just too obvious for me. But I'd still say yes and be thrilled, don't get me wrong.
Some friends of mine got engaged under the glow of a streetlight at night in the snow. He stopped to "tie his shoe". To me, being caught off gaurd like that would be the best.
Do those guys exist? Sigh... *melt0 -
I was very disappointed with the way my guy proposed. First, it was WAY too soon. It made me feel trapped. I had just moved half-way across the country to live with him. I mean, literally, just moved. I don't think I had even had a chance to take my coat off yet, after driving for 15+ hours, in a blizzard. For me, that was a huge step. My first thought was, "If I say no or not yet, does that mean I have to move back?" Secondly, it was lame. I hate stuffed animals! The ring was in a box that a stuffed teddy bear was holding. The point here... know your audience. If she hates something, don't incorporate it into the proposal. I'm a sports nut. I would have loved one of those, go to a hockey game and find the proposal question on the big screen type proposals. Third, he just had me get the box with the bear in it from the closet, open it, and looked at me... as if I was just supposed to see the ring and jump into his arms, while shrieking, "YES!" Uh... NO. I was in shock... and not in a good way. It would have been nice if there had been some profession of his love for me... and hearing the actual question... "Will you marry me?" After what seemed like an eternity of just staring at the bear and ring, he finally says, "Well...?" Really, dude?
Me: "Well, what?"
Him: "Well...?"
Me: "Well, what?"
Him: "Well... will you?"
Me: "Will I what?" I was getting really annoyed by this point and freaked out because I was NOT ready.
Him: "Well, will you... marry me?" (Long pause with no reply from me.) "...eventually?"
Me: "Well... eventually, yes."
Huge mistake.
Oh, and fourth, DO NOT propose on a holiday!
Sorry about all the "what not to do" suggestions, but sometimes knowing what not to do is just as helpful as knowing what TO do. Good luck!
That was hilarious!!! Thanks for sharing your story.
I'll tell you my story.
I became pregnant (I was on the pill) and my boyfriend said, I guess we should get married. Six years later, we got divorced.0 -
Imma go put my hair up in a bun and find some glasses now. (humph)
yes please !!!!! *bucket list #13 - done!*0 -
I don't think it has to be over the top. Find a way that has meaning to you, and it should be a surprise of course! It could be just something simple and romantic.0
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If your in love it won't matter how he/she proposes. The point is that it should be the right person and someone you can spend your life with.
Personally I think too many women are hung up the romantic "getting married" part and forget that this is really a life time commitment with someone you want to be with.
FYI, marriage does not make you happy with your life. If you don't like your life or yourself marriage will not fix it. Actually Marriage will only make it worse.0 -
I don't think it has to be over the top. Find a way that has meaning to you, and it should be a surprise of course! It could be just something simple and romantic.
I agree, simple and thoughtful makes me swoon.
Huge over-the-top gestures make me feel a little awkward.0 -
I was very disappointed with the way my guy proposed. First, it was WAY too soon. It made me feel trapped. I had just moved half-way across the country to live with him. I mean, literally, just moved. I don't think I had even had a chance to take my coat off yet, after driving for 15+ hours, in a blizzard. For me, that was a huge step. My first thought was, "If I say no or not yet, does that mean I have to move back?" Secondly, it was lame. I hate stuffed animals! The ring was in a box that a stuffed teddy bear was holding. The point here... know your audience. If she hates something, don't incorporate it into the proposal. I'm a sports nut. I would have loved one of those, go to a hockey game and find the proposal question on the big screen type proposals. Third, he just had me get the box with the bear in it from the closet, open it, and looked at me... as if I was just supposed to see the ring and jump into his arms, while shrieking, "YES!" Uh... NO. I was in shock... and not in a good way. It would have been nice if there had been some profession of his love for me... and hearing the actual question... "Will you marry me?" After what seemed like an eternity of just staring at the bear and ring, he finally says, "Well...?" Really, dude?
Me: "Well, what?"
Him: "Well...?"
Me: "Well, what?"
Him: "Well... will you?"
Me: "Will I what?" I was getting really annoyed by this point and freaked out because I was NOT ready.
Him: "Well, will you... marry me?" (Long pause with no reply from me.) "...eventually?"
Me: "Well... eventually, yes."
Huge mistake.
Oh, and fourth, DO NOT propose on a holiday!
Sorry about all the "what not to do" suggestions, but sometimes knowing what not to do is just as helpful as knowing what TO do. Good luck!
While that's a great story...it proves the point that it depends on the girl. I would HATE to be proposed to on a billboard or in any type of public situation. It is supposed to romantic and intimate and private...but again, depends on the girl! (not knocking anyone else's dreams here!) So you either gotta know your girl well enough to know how she'd like it...or find a way to ask these things.
I agree with no candlelit dinners. It seems suspect. My guy and I do a lot of night walks on the beach so that would be a good time for him (hint hint! bahahaha) because it is very natural and private and I love the beach so it would be a good memory.0 -
I'm going to (try anyway) and ignore the purposed/proposed error.
I haven't given it much thought, but tbh as long as it's not public (I can't stand public proposals) it should be fine. The more private it is the better IMO.0 -
I agree with those who said to know your audience. My husband and I are both introverts. I didn't want to be proposed to in a restaurant, at a sporting event, or on a holiday in front of my entire family. The way he did it was absolutely perfect for us.
We were separated Mon-Thurs due to circumstances at the time (he was caring for his terminally ill mother on hospice those days) and always really excited to see each other on Friday afternoons. He walked in the door, kissed me, then immediately got down on his knee in the middle of the living room and proposed to me. He had the ring in his pocket (in a box)...that's a good detail for sure. I was wearing a baggy t-shirt with a pair of floral pj pants and I didn't even care! We were both so happy!
ETA: personally I would not have minded at all being proposed to on a holiday, as long as it was in a more private setting. Say at home on Valentine's Day just the two of us, or alone next to the tree on Christmas Eve...something like that would have been totally okay with me. I would NOT want to be proposed to at someone else's wedding though.0 -
Like someone else said, know your audience. I'm completely introverted and often rattled by large crowds. A public proposal, even with just my family, might have sent me over the edge.
My husband proposed to me when I took him out for HIS birthday. The day, I had already decided, would be all about him, so I took him shopping, took him out to eat, etc. We ended the day by watching the sun set over Pearl Harbor, and then he pulled the ring out. I was completely shocked. It was the best. :-D0 -
There is NO perfect anything.. who cares HOW it happens ... the big question is... do you love him, do you want to be in a legally binding situation with this person? LOL.
How it happens does matter. Getting engaged is a big deal. It would be nice to know that the person I'm choosing to commit my life to has put some thought into the big day. It doesn't have to be anything elaborate, necessarily, just thoughtful and something she'll remember fondly.
Birthdays are kinda similar. I would go all out for his birthdays... planning parties and gifts that I knew he would enjoy... pizza, beer, friends, power tools for gifts. I don't recall him ever planning a birthday for me. I usually ended up spending my birthday crying because I was living several hundred miles away from family and friends, got no party, and it wasn't even mentioned. After a few years of this, I finally confronted him and asked why we never did anything for my birthday, even after I made such a big deal about his birthdays. He said, "You don't like to celebrate your birthday, so I didn't want to remind you." WTF? I never said that. Even after that, he still didn't do anything for my birthday. I had to plan my 30th, so something would actually get done. It was my 2nd best birthday party ever, but the birthday girl (or guy) shouldn't have to plan her (or his) own party.
Just be thoughtful and take the other person's feelings/personality into consideration when planning something like a proposal or whatever you're doing for them.0 -
I never gave it any thought. My husband and I have been married for 13 years and we just decided it's what we wanted to do. We were on the couch having a conversation about our relationship. Then we both came to the conclusion we wanted to spend our lives with each other. Next day we went ring shopping. No stress, no fuss and I have no regrets.0
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Personally I'd rather spend the money on something more interesting than a ring & a wedding.0
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My husband made a book of places we went together and wrote a story. It was the absolutely most romantic thing! I thought it was just a really cool Christmas gift that arrived late but he proposed on New Year's Eve in our new house together.0
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aside from the misspelling and dangit they don't let you edit topics!! Anywho.....in my opinion women either like over the top romantic or simplicity.
Example of over the top romantic: The most amazing/fascinating place you can find, have a dinner for two ready and waiting
Example of simplicity: Take her to the place where you had your first date.0 -
I made arrangements with a friend of my mom's who is a hot air balloon pilot to get a ride for my wife and I during the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta (I had to crew for him for a month as payment). She thought it was for my birthday...because it was on my birthday...but I proposed to her as we soared over the desert in a hot air balloon with just the most incredible view of the Sandia Mountains in the backdrop.0
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Depends on the personality of the women. Some women like big scenes in front of a lot of people (jumbo-tron at a baseball game). I would have rather an intimate moment just the two of us. Maybe a vacation to a tropical island then propose while taking a walk on the beach....
My husband was *so* close. He had the vacation right, then picked a dumb time to actually do the proposal, an atv tour with a lot of people around while stopped at a Mayan fertility temple (and I wasn't even thinking about kids yet) when I was all salty and sweaty. We had gone on a walk on the beach the night before! Oh and also, he never asked "will you marry me" he said "the reason I planned this vacation was to ask you to marry me". So then I waited.... And eventually said "yes" even though he never asked. But then he told the people we were with that we just got engaged and it was weird and awkward.0 -
He was down on one knee in his mothers kitchen, while a good majority of his giant Italian family looked on.
yeah no pressure!
Lucky for him I already knew I'd say yes when he did propose :laugh:0 -
Don't know and honestly don't care anymore.
I ❤️ you and your name0 -
I'd totally be the girl that loved the Jumbotron at the Red Sox proposal, complete with Kiss-Cam.0
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On a porpoise with a purpose.
Seriously, though, with as little fanfare as possible. We don't want a big wedding (I don't really want one at all, actually) and I'm just not the kind of person who wants to be in the spotlight much. Very private, very simple. In the kitchen while I'm making dinner or on the way home from work or something would be fine. I love my boyfriend a lot and we've talked a lot about marriage, and we both feel really strongly that we want to be married but we don't want all the circus surrounding it and the pressures from family and friends.
The only thing I insist on is that the ring is lab-made and reasonably inexpensive. I understand that it's very hard to buy anything that doesn't hurt people in developing countries but such a big, symbolic item is where I'm drawing my line in the sand. So it has to lab-created for that reason, and it has to cost less than our frequent ski weekends because I hate bridezilla culture and the competition and that feeling of "oh, how much did he think you were worth?" It's just not my scene. I don't buy into the wedding industrial complex.
ETA: I probably would skip the ring, the wedding, and the marriage all together if I were a bit less worried about what people think about me, but I'm not really a strong enough person to want to spend my life saying "No, no ring, no, no wedding, no, not married, but yes this is my partner and you should treat him exactly as if we were in fact married." Huge hassle to be doing that for the rest of my life (without even thinking about the legal issues that could arise.)0 -
Opps...0
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My husband surprised me with a helicopter flight which landed at the top of the mountain in my home town. Landed in a spot that I don't think many have ever been to as you'd have to hike and climb a fair way. We got out, he proposed then we had a scenic flight over home town and surrounds. Was amazing.0
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`ummm either while you are playing the song you wrote about me on stage ooooorr some other private cute way that is whatever t hey make up and would probably be amazing0
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On a porpoise with a purpose.
Seriously, though, with as little fanfare as possible. We don't want a big wedding (I don't really want one at all, actually) and I'm just not the kind of person who wants to be in the spotlight much. Very private, very simple. In the kitchen while I'm making dinner or on the way home from work or something would be fine. I love my boyfriend a lot and we've talked a lot about marriage, and we both feel really strongly that we want to be married but we don't want all the circus surrounding it and the pressures from family and friends.
The only thing I insist on is that the ring is lab-made and reasonably inexpensive. I understand that it's very hard to buy anything that doesn't hurt people in developing countries but such a big, symbolic item is where I'm drawing my line in the sand. So it has to lab-created for that reason, and it has to cost less than our frequent ski weekends because I hate bridezilla culture and the competition and that feeling of "oh, how much did he think you were worth?" It's just not my scene. I don't buy into the wedding industrial complex.
ETA: I probably would skip the ring, the wedding, and the marriage all together if I were a bit less worried about what people think about me, but I'm not really a strong enough person to want to spend my life saying "No, no ring, no, no wedding, no, not married, but yes this is my partner and you should treat him exactly as if we were in fact married." Huge hassle to be doing that for the rest of my life (without even thinking about the legal issues that could arise.)
I agree on so much of the above!!! I got married to my husband at Garden of the Gods, on a hiking trail - just the two of us and no officiant required in the state of Colorado (filled out paperwork at the courthouse afterward). My ring is sterling silver and a cushion-cut green amethyst purchased on etsy for little money, his ring is titanium and was under twenty bucks.0 -
My husband proposed to me at the center point of the golden gate bridge at sunset. Then we danced along the bridge. I think whatever is meaningful to the two of you and leaves a life long warm memory.0
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No ring at proposal. Later his mother gave him her mother's ring. It's beautiful, but made for a bigger finger and can't be made small enough to fit me because of the way the setting is at the top.0
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No down on one knee. He had lifted me up in his arms and then proposed (we were already dancing when he proposed).0
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Just don't "loose" the ring!
I see what you did there! :glasses: :blushing:0
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