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BrokenButBeautiful
Posts: 939
in Chit-Chat
I thought this would be an interesting and probably controversial subject to discuss.
I teach an after school program in a small private school. Obviously working with children, things happen that require some sort of disciplinary action. In our case "timeout" and/or a write up is the extent of what we can do and for most of our kids this works perfectly.
Then there's that one child. The child who kicks, bites, scratches and screams hateful things and profanity at the teachers whenever he is called to timeout. (Which happens to be often. Just this week we have had a scratched cornea and a cut on an arm which he administered with a stick, to other kids in our after school care.) He refuses to cooperate. Refuses. This means when told to sit in timeout he simply doesn't do it. Since we can't touch him this can't be enforced. Period. When he attacks with a sharp pencil we can't disarm him because that would require grabbing him and forcibly removing said pencil.
His parents are fond of making police reports on teachers who have tried to enforce timeout, by guiding him to a seat, and also for defending themselves from his punches and kicks.
So my question, in what world would you file a police report against a teacher for trying to help your child realize that his choices have consequences, be it good or bad? I'm not understanding and it blows my mind!
I brace myself for the day when it's me they're making reports on...
I teach an after school program in a small private school. Obviously working with children, things happen that require some sort of disciplinary action. In our case "timeout" and/or a write up is the extent of what we can do and for most of our kids this works perfectly.
Then there's that one child. The child who kicks, bites, scratches and screams hateful things and profanity at the teachers whenever he is called to timeout. (Which happens to be often. Just this week we have had a scratched cornea and a cut on an arm which he administered with a stick, to other kids in our after school care.) He refuses to cooperate. Refuses. This means when told to sit in timeout he simply doesn't do it. Since we can't touch him this can't be enforced. Period. When he attacks with a sharp pencil we can't disarm him because that would require grabbing him and forcibly removing said pencil.
His parents are fond of making police reports on teachers who have tried to enforce timeout, by guiding him to a seat, and also for defending themselves from his punches and kicks.
So my question, in what world would you file a police report against a teacher for trying to help your child realize that his choices have consequences, be it good or bad? I'm not understanding and it blows my mind!
I brace myself for the day when it's me they're making reports on...
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Replies
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Some people are just ignorant and pretentious. It's pretty much that simple unfortunately.0
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Sad, by "protecting" him, they are creating an individual that will likely get the p!ss beat out of him when he goes after the wrong person.0
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put it in a cage
was my first thought0 -
I am soooo happy to hear that there are still some people out there that agree that this child and his parents are insane!
Think of me this afternoon while I prepare myself for his kicks, bites and hits. He and his parents really make a decently pleasant job very unpleasant.0 -
This is crazy!! I am the mom to a nearly 5 year old boy, and if he ever acted this way, the teachers would have FULL authority to do whatever was necessary. I don't understand parents who try to report the teachers who are only trying to help the child.
I am interested to know what the police say about matters like these? Does anything ever happen outside the report?0 -
It sounds like he has learned from his parent's that there is no conseqences for his actions. If he is a threat to others can he be kicked out of the program?
As a parent, I would only "file a report" if an adult hit my kid (and maybe not then depending on the situation). Everyone has the right to defend themselves. The next time he attacks you or or anouther kid call the cops on him. If the parent's complain simply state they have made it clear that is how they want issues settled.
Good luck and keep your gaurd up.0 -
This is crazy!! I am the mom to a nearly 5 year old boy, and if he ever acted this way, the teachers would have FULL authority to do whatever was necessary. I don't understand parents who try to report the teachers who are only trying to help the child.
I am interested to know what the police say about matters like these? Does anything ever happen outside the report?
I agree. I have three kids of my own, 10, 8 and 5. If any of them ever do things like this to teachers or other kids, I would EXPECT teachers to do something, even if it meant physically restraining them or picking them up and removing them from the situation.
I'm not sure to what extent these parents have went with charges at this point, I just know several teachers have had reports written up against them and we've been warned to be "very, very careful" in our dealings with this particular child.0 -
Teachers are pretty much handcuffed now days. They don't have the tools they need to discipline children. It's sad really. Just the society we live in...0
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Unreal.....reading this makes me mad!
What kind of self absorbed, misguided, idiotic pricks would file a police report again the TEACHERS when their child is the one engaging in violent behaviors?
It is incomprehensible.0 -
I would refuse to work with said child. I also would call the authorities on said child. Abuse is abuse.
ETA: If nothing else make a report EVERY TIME of the abuse to cover your own butt incase they do come after you.0 -
Sounds like a little gem. I would keep a report of his behavior and then when you ask that he not return to the program, you can show them exactly why.0
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Can the school acquire a straight jacket for the kid?
ok that wasn't nice but if he isn't taught to be responsible for his actions at home and can't be taught them at school because of his parents, there is something seriously wrong with this picture.0 -
Unreal.....reading this makes me mad!
What kind of self absorbed, misguided, idiotic pricks would file a police report again the TEACHERS when their child is the one engaging in violent behaviors?
It is incomprehensible.
This.0 -
I have been the parent to such a child. And it IS heart breaking. I took footage on my mobile phone of him actively attacking me for no reason at all whilst in the car. And im not talking about a tantrum, i'm talking it was quite shocking that such vitriolic behaviour could come from a child. He would attack and he would start smashing his head off objects/floors/walls. Trust me its hard to see that.
It was like living with Jekyll and Hyde.
We worked closely with various specialists, for a long time. When he started school last September, within a few weeks, they were threatening to expel him. At 4 years old. Despite the fact that we had been trying to work WITH the school.
We persevered.
We got the behavioural therapist that had worked with him and us, to work with the school. She'd already worked with the nursery previously.
The school teachers learned better ways to communicate with him and better ways to handle him.
Since then, his school life has literally turned around! He's had several awards from the school for outstanding behaviour, or for helping others.
He's still 4.
Don't jump to the conclusion that the parents are to blame.0 -
It is frustrating. I refuse to just sit there if said child is stabbing another child with a sharp pencil, I don't care about getting reported for that but it pisses me off when I have to say, "Okay child, it is your choice to stab me with that pencil, I clearly can't stop you, but just know that if you do, I will write that down on this paper for your parents and you will have to sit in timeout." And he laughs because he knows I can't force him to sit in timeout and he knows it's just words on a paper that won't affect him in the least.
We are supposed to call his parents to come pick him up immediately when he is being violent, but they still won't come until the end of the program, they're just soooooo busy.
Six more weeks of school, six weeks.0 -
The problem with this is that not all teachers or adults do things to protect the child but act upon their feelings. An adult is stronger than a child and some adults use discipline as an excuse to hurt the kids. What you are describing is an extreme that need to be dealt by the administration of the school and maybe there should be a petition from the teachers to have the child removed or placed in a different area. Teacher have rights too and an out of control child can cause serious harm. My mom has been a teacher for over 30yrs and this past December she got kicked by one of her students (4yr old) on her knee. The child was new to her school but he had been expelled from two other centers. My mom can barely walk now and it’s possible that she will need surgery due to the injury. She is in her 60’s so it’s been very difficult. Bottom line; kids have rights and there are rules to protect them for a reason, but the administration also has the responsibility to protect the staff from situations like the one you described.0
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I have been the parent to such a child. And it IS heart breaking. I took footage on my mobile phone of him actively attacking me for no reason at all whilst in the car. And im not talking about a tantrum, i'm talking it was quite shocking that such vitriolic behaviour could come from a child. He would attack and he would start smashing his head off objects/floors/walls. Trust me its hard to see that.
It was like living with Jekyll and Hyde.
We worked closely with various specialists, for a long time. When he started school last September, within a few weeks, they were threatening to expel him. At 4 years old. Despite the fact that we had been trying to work WITH the school.
We persevered.
We got the behavioural therapist that had worked with him and us, to work with the school. She'd already worked with the nursery previously.
The school teachers learned better ways to communicate with him and better ways to handle him.
Since then, his school life has literally turned around! He's had several awards from the school for outstanding behaviour, or for helping others.
He's still 4.
Don't jump to the conclusion that the parents are to blame.
I don't blame the parents for his behavior and I don't even dislike the child, he has moments when I can see glimpses of his potential. I always point these things out and praise him when he does make good choices.
The only thing I have a problem with is how the parents respond when we try to enforce consequences (guiding him to a timeout chair, taking away privileges) for his bad decisions, ie, reporting us to the police.0 -
It is frustrating. I refuse to just sit there if said child is stabbing another child with a sharp pencil, I don't care about getting reported for that but it pisses me off when I have to say, "Okay child, it is your choice to stab me with that pencil, I clearly can't stop you, but just know that if you do, I will write that down on this paper for your parents and you will have to sit in timeout." And he laughs because he knows I can't force him to sit in timeout and he knows it's just words on a paper that won't affect him in the least.
We are supposed to call his parents to come pick him up immediately when he is being violent, but they still won't come until the end of the program, they're just soooooo busy.
Six more weeks of school, six weeks.
Make sure you have reports on this kid, seriously! Also get medical attention for yourself and others and make a work man's comp report as well because your job won't back you up without proof. I also would recommend taking pictures of the wound/bruises. I would report this to the police and child services. That kid clearly has crappy parents and is lashing out on you for their neglect.0 -
When I was in 1st Grade (1959) I remember my father sitting me down with my teacher, Mr. Blair, and telling us both that Mr. Blair had his permission to spank me if I stepped out of line.
Those days are long gone.
In this day and age any time an adult lays hands on a child, he comes under scrutiny and risks losing his/her job, litigation, arrest and civil suit. Unfortunately, the children know this and use it to their advantage.
A couple years ago, I stepped between a teenaged boy and the older woman he was harassing. I told him to move along or I would hurt him. He told me I couldn't touch him because he was a minor. I told him that would only get me arrested afterwards, but it wouldn't help his broken bones mend any faster.0 -
I would refuse to work with said child. I also would call the authorities on said child. Abuse is abuse.
ETA: If nothing else make a report EVERY TIME of the abuse to cover your own butt incase they do come after you.
Out of the three teachers in this program I get to deal with him the most because "he responds to me best". Hahaha! Lucky me.
We have been writing reports and photo documenting all of our injuries, and obviously those he inflicts on other children. Also, none of us are ever alone with him for any reason.0
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