Hello boys and girls!

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  • amethyst7986
    amethyst7986 Posts: 223 Member
    Teachers are pretty much handcuffed now days. They don't have the tools they need to discipline children. It's sad really. Just the society we live in...

    I completely agree. My daughter was being bullied by some girls last year and I was told by the school that that only intervention they could/would do is talk to the girls. I was so outraged by this, I mean those girls were going out of their way to make my daughter's life miserable on school grounds, but the schools hands were tied. At one point they refused to call it bullying because that meant they actually HAD to do something about it, my daughter would break down crying during class because these girls would stand up in class and call her nasty names- hell even the teacher couldn't do much about it--how is that not bullying! Anyways, eventually they got tired of me calling them and my phone calls to the superintendent's office were making their way to them as well, they got things settled.


    AS for this child in the program, there has to be a way to get him out. He is not only a danger to himself but other students and teachers. That is very sad and irresponsible that his parents are refusing to acknowledge his temperament and bad behavior. I know in the past, daycares that my daughter was in, they had us sign an agreement stating that they would no longer care for a child that causes harm or places other children in danger. Its a liability for the program/center. I would definitely seek help with your supervisor and/or police. his parents should be held accountable for his actions.
    Good luck!
  • kr1stadee
    kr1stadee Posts: 1,774 Member
    If my child was being hurt on a regular basis by another child, I would be petitioning for that child to be expelled. If not, I'd be taking my business elsewhere. Why put my child in harms way?

    I do have a child like that, as well. He's been diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety and OCD. Some days are hell. He's 8 now, and strong as an ox. He was on Ritalin during the school hours so he could get through the day. The Ritalin made his coexisting disorders worse. That's where the violent explosions came from, the hitting, spitting, screaming, breaking things, slamming doors.. if he were to act this way in a public setting, you better believe I give permission to his supervising adult to discipline him (we don't spank, so none of that). He was moved to a different medication and has been doing fantastic, even getting some A's on his progress report! Yay!

    So, this child may have disorders that aren't treated or recognized, or he could be taking medications that make things worse. Diet is huge with behavioural issues.

    Issues CAN be the fault of parents and can also be the fault of surroundings. They also could be no one's fault at all. I think it's time to suggest to the parents that they need to start looking for a program that can better cater to his needs and behaviours. It's not worth risking your safety, or the safety of other children to expose them to these risks daily.
  • BrokenButBeautiful
    BrokenButBeautiful Posts: 939
    I mean, it is obvious that it is your school that is to blame here.

    Ikr?

    The principle is one of school staff members that has a report against her. I'm not sure why exactly the family even keeps their child here if we're all so awful and need to be reported...

    I think that he isn't being expelled right now because of some of issues that would probably come up if they were to expel him. Like full blown lawsuits.

    Once again, I am not blaming the parents for his behavior, just their response to those of us who are dealing with it.
  • PghPensFan69
    PghPensFan69 Posts: 2,393 Member
    I have been the parent to such a child. And it IS heart breaking. I took footage on my mobile phone of him actively attacking me for no reason at all whilst in the car. And im not talking about a tantrum, i'm talking it was quite shocking that such vitriolic behaviour could come from a child. He would attack and he would start smashing his head off objects/floors/walls. Trust me its hard to see that.

    It was like living with Jekyll and Hyde.

    We worked closely with various specialists, for a long time. When he started school last September, within a few weeks, they were threatening to expel him. At 4 years old. Despite the fact that we had been trying to work WITH the school.

    We persevered.

    We got the behavioural therapist that had worked with him and us, to work with the school. She'd already worked with the nursery previously.

    The school teachers learned better ways to communicate with him and better ways to handle him.

    Since then, his school life has literally turned around! He's had several awards from the school for outstanding behaviour, or for helping others.

    He's still 4.


    Don't jump to the conclusion that the parents are to blame.

    I don't blame the parents for his behavior and I don't even dislike the child, he has moments when I can see glimpses of his potential. I always point these things out and praise him when he does make good choices.

    The only thing I have a problem with is how the parents respond when we try to enforce consequences (guiding him to a timeout chair, taking away privileges) for his bad decisions, ie, reporting us to the police.

    THIS

    The parents are calling police. Clearly these particular parents don't want to acknowledge that their child has issues that they need to address.

    When my daughter was in preschool, such a child walked acrossed the room and struck her with something without cause or provocation. The teacher was mortified to talk to us that day because my daughter wasn't even playing with the child or in the same vacinity.

    I have compassion for parents that know their child has issues and are trying to find a solution. Calling the police on the victims certainly isn't the solution.
  • FoxBean
    FoxBean Posts: 910 Member
    My mom worked in education for 11 years, and also had to deal with children and parents like this. The child seems to have emotional issues, and should be taken out of that class and put in a special needs class with teachers who are more able to be around this child and help. The parents should be getting this kid some help too! It's definitely not right for them to be filing police reports, maybe they feel guilty and lashing out at the teachers? Seems like the school is not doing it's part on enforcing the removal of the child.
  • LookMaNoHands
    LookMaNoHands Posts: 174 Member
    That kid has obviously not been beaten enough. Some kids respond to nonphysical corrections like "time out." Others require a mild spanking, like a slap on the wrist. Then others require a serious whipping with a leather belt on their bottoms. This kid seems like the last sort.

    And BTW, just to ensure that there are no problems with pansy-*kitten* getting all "sensitive" and calling child protective services on you for beating him, the trick is that spank him where no one else can see it, and you still refer to the spanking as "time out." Even though both you and he know that it will really be a spanking. That way, when you look at him and say "behave yourself or you will get time out", he will know that it is really a spanking that he is going to get, but everyone else will think that you are only threatening him with time out.
  • buzybev
    buzybev Posts: 199 Member
    Well when he's 16+ and larger/stronger then they are, they will regret enabling and reinforcing his negative behaviors.
  • buzybev
    buzybev Posts: 199 Member
    That kid has obviously not been beaten enough. Some kids respond to nonphysical corrections like "time out." Others require a mild spanking, like a slap on the wrist. Then others require a serious whipping with a leather belt on their bottoms. This kid seems like the last sort.

    And BTW, just to ensure that there are no problems with pansy-*kitten* getting all "sensitive" and calling child protective services on you for beating him, the trick is that spank him where no one else can see it, and you still refer to the spanking as "time out." Even though both you and he know that it will really be a spanking. That way, when you look at him and say "behave yourself or you will get time out", he will know that it is really a spanking that he is going to get, but everyone else will think that you are only threatening him with time out.

    Nope nope nope. You should never strike a child that is in your care. You are not their parent. I work with children with developmental disabilities/severe behavioral issues (many of which have experienced trauma/been in state custody) and I have never and would never physically discipline them. I have had to contain children who are a danger to themselves or others, but have been trained to do it without causing harm to them or myself. Beating kids doesn't do **** but cause more behavioral issues and resentment.
  • LookMaNoHands
    LookMaNoHands Posts: 174 Member
    And BTW, I was also a kid that required a lot of spankings. "Time out" was a JOKE to me. My parents learned very early on that I required a heavy hand. And I am a better, more disciplined person today for it.
  • FoxBean
    FoxBean Posts: 910 Member
    That kid has obviously not been beaten enough. Some kids respond to nonphysical corrections like "time out." Others require a mild spanking, like a slap on the wrist. Then others require a serious whipping with a leather belt on their bottoms. This kid seems like the last sort.

    And BTW, just to ensure that there are no problems with pansy-*kitten* getting all "sensitive" and calling child protective services on you for beating him, the trick is that spank him where no one else can see it, and you still refer to the spanking as "time out." Even though both you and he know that it will really be a spanking. That way, when you look at him and say "behave yourself or you will get time out", he will know that it is really a spanking that he is going to get, but everyone else will think that you are only threatening him with time out.

    I hope you are joking. Children who are violent tend to be victims of abuse and they are lashing out, not always the case but there IS a reason of why.
  • moosegt35
    moosegt35 Posts: 1,296 Member
    And BTW, I was also a kid that required a lot of spankings. "Time out" was a JOKE to me. My parents learned very early on that I required a heavy hand. And I am a better, more disciplined person today for it.

    This. I would even laugh at my mom when she was spanking me and tell her that she wasn't capable of hurting me. If I hadn't got my *kitten* busted I would probably be in jail today.
  • FoxBean
    FoxBean Posts: 910 Member
    And BTW, I was also a kid that required a lot of spankings. "Time out" was a JOKE to me. My parents learned very early on that I required a heavy hand. And I am a better, more disciplined person today for it.

    Yeah except for the fact that you think it is okay to hit children.
  • moosegt35
    moosegt35 Posts: 1,296 Member
    That kid has obviously not been beaten enough. Some kids respond to nonphysical corrections like "time out." Others require a mild spanking, like a slap on the wrist. Then others require a serious whipping with a leather belt on their bottoms. This kid seems like the last sort.

    And BTW, just to ensure that there are no problems with pansy-*kitten* getting all "sensitive" and calling child protective services on you for beating him, the trick is that spank him where no one else can see it, and you still refer to the spanking as "time out." Even though both you and he know that it will really be a spanking. That way, when you look at him and say "behave yourself or you will get time out", he will know that it is really a spanking that he is going to get, but everyone else will think that you are only threatening him with time out.

    I hope you are joking. Children who are violent tend to be victims of abuse and they are lashing out, not always the case but there IS a reason of why.

    There is always an excuse to why a child acts like they do, it's never that they are just a brat with crappy parents anymore.
  • moosegt35
    moosegt35 Posts: 1,296 Member
    And BTW, I was also a kid that required a lot of spankings. "Time out" was a JOKE to me. My parents learned very early on that I required a heavy hand. And I am a better, more disciplined person today for it.

    Yeah except for the fact that you think it is okay to hit children.

    When did it become not ok to "hit" children? Right around the time 90% of kids started acting like little demons?
  • Wifey7891
    Wifey7891 Posts: 91
    that's a difficult situation. props to teachers, that's a really under-rated profession nowadays. ive seen some different approaches to dealing with difficult children, and sometimes its best just to let their outbursts and tantrums play out. if its a child who thinks making noise gets him attention, the some cold shoulder might work. read some articles or books about this topic, there are a plethora out there. heres one from a simple google search, might have some interesting reads in the references as well: http://www.easternflorida.edu/community-resources/child-development-centers/parent-resource-library/documents/parenting-the-difficult-temperament.pdf
  • jacques57
    jacques57 Posts: 2,129 Member
    Just break up.


    oh wait, wrong thread.
  • buzybev
    buzybev Posts: 199 Member
    that's a difficult situation. props to teachers, that's a really under-rated profession nowadays. ive seen some different approaches to dealing with difficult children, and sometimes its best just to let their outbursts and tantrums play out. if its a child who thinks making noise gets him attention, the some cold shoulder might work. read some articles or books about this topic, there are a plethora out there. heres one from a simple google search, might have some interesting reads in the references as well: http://www.easternflorida.edu/community-resources/child-development-centers/parent-resource-library/documents/parenting-the-difficult-temperament.pdf

    Yes! Planned ignoring can work in many situations. As long as they are not endangering themselves or others/being destructive, I've noticed that it helps to wait until they've cooled off a bit and are ready to listen, talk, or be redirected to a more appropriate activity. As long as expectations are clear and consistent across the board (teachers, specialists, parents, etc) it is easier to work on managing negative behaviors. Won't work if they are only in a "structured" environment 6-8 months out of the year, but are allowed to do whatever they hell they want at home. Consistency is key.
  • moosegt35
    moosegt35 Posts: 1,296 Member
    that's a difficult situation. props to teachers, that's a really under-rated profession nowadays. ive seen some different approaches to dealing with difficult children, and sometimes its best just to let their outbursts and tantrums play out. if its a child who thinks making noise gets him attention, the some cold shoulder might work. read some articles or books about this topic, there are a plethora out there. heres one from a simple google search, might have some interesting reads in the references as well: http://www.easternflorida.edu/community-resources/child-development-centers/parent-resource-library/documents/parenting-the-difficult-temperament.pdf

    Sounds like a great idea for a kid that hits, bites and tried to stab people. Hopefully no one dies. OP, please take this advice and report back on the results. ROFL.
  • pmr545
    pmr545 Posts: 51 Member
    Teachers have it rough today.... parents scream about grades, they think their child does not wrong.... I feel for you! Teachers are so important in our society.
  • FemmeFatale83
    FemmeFatale83 Posts: 96
    I feel for you and the child involved. The parents are the root of the problem since they just reinforce his disruptive behavior. I know someone who is a teacher and I have heard so many stories from her like this! Maybe you could do your best to keep any records of your experience with this child and his parents, a written journal of events at the very least with dates, in case they do ever file against you. Don't know how helpful that would be though. Anyway you have a tough job, I commend you for it!
  • Go_Mizzou99
    Go_Mizzou99 Posts: 2,628 Member
    Sad, by "protecting" him, they are creating an individual that will likely get the p!ss beat out of him when he goes after the wrong person.

    Don't forget, these same kids get trophies for coming in last place too. My wife, a veteran teacher, calls them tea-cup children - because they are so fragile, they break often.
  • BrokenButBeautiful
    BrokenButBeautiful Posts: 939
    Oooooh myyyyyyyyyyy gooooooooosh! Home stretch here in my world of teaching and guess what?! "The Child" got expelled today, for the rest of the school year. Which is exactly two and a half days...

    I expect the parents to try and take legal action and my heart breaks for this child. His mother left the school today shrieking about how this kid has been mistreated. He has not been at all, quite the contrary. We all bent over beyond backwards for him. :-(

    The final straw was him attacking a fellow student, another student trying to restrain him, defending the attacked, and all hell broke loose.
  • embrace_the_darkside
    embrace_the_darkside Posts: 60
    Badly behaved kids are often the result of badly behaved parents. Unfortunately, its hard to get a parent to understand that because... well... they're pretty good at denying this fact

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