I'm sabotaging my overweight husband

I think the answer to the questions you're asking lie within your original post itself:

I worry for his health, he's quite a bit older than me, but I know there's nothing I can do about it until he decides to change.

Ultimately, it's up to him to decide how many brownies to have, or whether he's going to have seconds or thirds. In the end, I definitely don't think you're sabotaging him---rather, it's his responsibility to eat well/in moderation (and it sounds like you'd be an excellent role model in any case!). Have you tried to (gently) voice your concerns over his health? Has your success not inspired him at all?

After you guys each have brownies for a night, bring it to work and share them with the coworkers. Or if you want to save your coworkers too, take them to a homeless shelter or soup kitchen.

Make less or give the rest away? You can't force him to stop overeating, but you can make it less convenient for him...

It's not as if you're sneaking bad foods into his meals without his knowing. To me that'd be "sabotaging". He is well aware what he is doing when he eats multiple brownies. I want a brownie now... damnit.

I find that making just enough food for me and BF helps with things like that. He won't go for seconds if there's no more food left.
I suppose with kids it's harder, but cooking somewhat smaller meals and keeping a "clean" house (no tempting unnecessary snacks lying around) could help.

...me and my hubby are doing this together but I find he isn't always as committed as I am. At first this was very frustrating to me and I would get mad and be very critical of what he was eating. I got over that. Regardless of what you cook or even what foods are in your house he is going to eat what he wants and in the amount he wants even if he has to go out to get it! Be supportive and if and when he's ready he will make a change. Making brownies isn't sabatoge it's life. He's a grown up and makes choices just like you do. Best of luck

^^this.

My husband and I are also trying to get healthier and lose weight together, but I'm definitely having better success than he is because I'm more committed. It's frustrating to me that when I buy or make treats (either for the kids or for all of us), he'll eat them all up before anyone else gets a chance, and then get upset at me and ask why I buy/make this stuff when he's trying to lose weight. I just tell him that the kids and I have no problem regulating treats, and that he's a grown man and can decide for himself what he's going to eat. When he decides to get serious, he'll take responsibility for his own choices. Until then, I feel exactly zero guilt.

I personally can't cook a whole pan of something and have it around without over indulging, so I can't blame him!! Can you not cook large portions of that type of food, and just buy one serving of it at a bakery if you really want it??

I'm sure he could get brownies and apple pie anywhere. If he was really wanting to make a change, he would.

I don't think we want hubby dipping into the neighbor's apple pie and brownies. That would be bad.

the only thing i can suggest is to make "just enough" for that one meal, and if there are leftovers, plate them and mark them as yours for lunch the next day. i do that often, not so my hubby cant have them, but so i dont mess up at lunchtime. (i do plate hubbys dinner, because we eat at 6pm, and he gets out of work at 11pm or later. then i have to mark which is his and which is mine LOL)

Invite some friends over to have some brownies too!

Invite some friends over to have some brownies too!

Sabotage the entire neighborhood?

I understand OP's position, but as an old timer to marriage (30 years), I guess I have to add what I ended up doing. My husband, too, was always somewhat overweight. When we first got married, he put some more on because he would eat a big lunch at work and then whatever I made. I also occasionally would bake and baked even more after I had kids; we even owned a bread machine that I used almost daily. He gained and lost through various diets but always put it back on. Sometimes I'd join him, for instance, to lose post-baby weight, but overall, I was always someone who could keep it off without much effort. Then when he was in his 40s, he underwent a lot of personal stresses -- both his parents died, his brother had some very serious problems with mental illness and alcohol, and my husband also ended up traveling a lot. The upshot, he put on even more weight and would get sick often with cellulitis in his legs. His doctor at the time was somewhat negligent, but when he changed doctor, he was diagnosed as Type II diabetes. We got rid of all the "white foods" and when he was home, the food that was available and prepared was food that he could eat. Regardless, he still would eat badly, not exercise, etc. I nagged him so much that he became angry and resentful. So I said, "I'll stop nagging if you buy extra life insurance with a long term care rider." We went to the insurance agent, and the premiums for this thing because of his weight and diabetes are $550 a month. That was one of the wake-up calls of what his eating was costing, both in terms of health and finances. One of the major factors for us is that I am 5'1.5". There is no way I could care for my husband at home if he were disabled. He doesn't eat perfectly now, but I have to admit, he is more active and much more in control than in the past, even when he travels. So I guess there are three things:

1. You need to support him by changing how you are eating at home. That might mean not baking a batch of brownies or an apple pie. The only time I bake now is to bring stuff to pot luck or family events. Then I leave it there! If you want a "goodie" eat it on your own time, when you're out with girlfriends or when he's not around.
2. This may sound contradictory, but you also have to keep in mind that he's still responsible for his own eating and actions. My DH travels and I can't control what he's eating then. I can only eliminate temptation at home, and I have to let go of what's happening elsewhere.
3. At some point, both of you, especially if he's older, have to confront the health and financial consequences of his weight and eating. This is both of your futures, and it's not like he might just keel over from a heart attack. If you have children, his eating behavior is affecting not just himself, but your family's security. He could end up needing long term nursing care as a consequence of diabetes or other illnesses related to overeating. My husband's dad was dead at 66 from heart disease and cancer, his mom at 73 from dementia and pancreatitis due to acute diabetes. She spent the last 10 years of her life in and out of nursing homes and skilled care.

I do the oppisite. All the food in the house is healthy. If I'm going to the grocery store and he asks for a chocolate muffin I bring him back a chocolate clif bar and a bag of trail mix lol. I don't buy junk for him. If he wants junk he buys it himself.

Hubby has high cholesterol and I want to keep him around.

Edit for spelling failz

My husband is the saboteur in our house. He has diabetes (and its' not getting controlled very well), and I have both diabetes and high blood pressure. But he likes to bake and cook and he likes/loves/adores carbs like no tomorrow. We have a tendency to sabotage each other. I have decided that making small changes is going to work best for us. If I try to initiate an overhaul he balks. So I have started making just enough for us to eat for a meal. Oh you want seconds? Too bad! (of course, I just started cooking too....I hate cooking). I am trying to use healthier options as well. Also, try to find recipes that are one shots. Like you can do cookie in a mug or brownie in a mug if you want just ONE so that it quells the cravings. They are DELICIOUS and there are NONE left over for anyone to munch on later. I have found that that works better for my house. That's about all you can do to help him and you until he's ready to take the plunge for himself.