Encouraging daughter to be more active for the right reasons

CkepiJinx
CkepiJinx Posts: 613 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
So as I have lost weight and become more active I am keenly aware that my daughter is watching my every choice. At twelve years old she is coming to that age were peer pressure to fit in and look a certain way will become more and more pronounced and I want to set a good example. Show her the right way to handle weight and to treat your body right. I was never one of those people who let their weight define them, I have been a pretty happy person and never put myself down for my weight, I just realized I needed to lose weight to be healthy for a longer life.

I have been running for about a year, she isn't into that but we have started walking the dogs together more often. I have noticed that she has been paying more attention to her stomach and thighs lately, she hasn't said much and I don't want to bring it up and make her more self conscious, I don't think she has a reason to be. So she knows I have been using Runtastics push up, sit up, and squat trainer and has shown an interest in them.

Today on our walk we were talking about cheer leading and she has an interest in being a flyer as she gets older, she has the build for it. So I saw my opening, I told her if she is truly interested in being a flyer she could use the apps to build her muscles in her legs, core, and arms. Better muscle tone will help her have better body control which is very beneficial for flyers.

I am hoping this will help her feel less self conscious about her body with out putting an emphasis on weight... Because she does not need to lose weight. Being a parent of a preteen girl is such a precarious roll, I just want to give her the tools to make good decisions and take care of her self.

We can be the best roll models for our children or the worst, choose wisely.

Replies

  • CkepiJinx
    CkepiJinx Posts: 613 Member
    Am I really he only one that worries about this?
  • SuperC_85
    SuperC_85 Posts: 393
    Dont have any children, but would love to read some of the responses here.
  • Mistraal1981
    Mistraal1981 Posts: 453 Member
    Reading the post it doesn't cone across like you are worried or concerned and asking for feedback on how you handled the situation. It comes across more like sharing an experience. But if you ARE looking for feedback, then I think you handled the situation well. Maybe as an extra step see if there is a club/gym that she can join to increase flexibility and gymnastic ability. Then you can go onto encouraging good eating, which as a mfp person I'm sure you are familiar with.
  • trivard676
    trivard676 Posts: 90 Member
    I'm not a parent, but I do remember being 12 and being a little self conscious about my weight. My parents really didn't push me to be active as I entered my teenage years, it's something that I wished that they had, even if it was just a gentle coaxing. Not everyone just wakes up one day and decides that they need to get fit or live a healthier lifestyle and I think it would be better if your daughter started forming healthy habits early in life and kept them as she grows older. Being more active can benefit anyone, whether they're heavy or super thin - so you don't even necessarily have to bring up weight at all.
  • ColeCake292012
    ColeCake292012 Posts: 247 Member
    When I was 12 (with my 13th birthday around the corner) my mother asked me if I would like a gym membership for my birthday. I said yes, and from then on out, it changed my life. Who knows how lazy I'd be if I hadn't built exercise into my lifestyle at a young age. Now, I no longer have a gym membership, but I workout at home, and my little, 14 month old girl watches me and loves to "play" along.
  • Mistraal1981
    Mistraal1981 Posts: 453 Member
    As for getting healthy for the RIGHT reason, I don't think the reason itself matters, rather the fact you HAVE a reason. Be it for heart healthiness or fitting into a cute outfit.

    The important thing is that she changes her body in a healthy way rather than go down the ED route.
  • Llamedos1960
    Llamedos1960 Posts: 78
    Hi, my daughter has been competing as a sailor in national and international events since she was about 10 years old. The emphasis in the junior squad was very much on more cardio. For sailing, they were encouraged to use rowers as they develop the same muscles as are needed for hiking (hanging out of the boat to keep it upright). Strength training wasn't really encouraged until the age of about 15+. Then they were taught to use the weights in the gym properly.

    Also, I was taught (as a swimming instructor) to be careful about the dangers of over-training any under 16 year olds.

    So, IMHO, work on cardio that develops the muscles/flexibility that you want.

    The most import thing though is it MUST be enjoyable. Otherwise, your daughter may come to think of exercise as a chore.

    My daughter's coach in the National Junior Squad used to use a water pistol and, if he saw anyone that wasn't smiling, he would drench them!

    Hope this helps. :flowerforyou:
  • beaches61
    beaches61 Posts: 154 Member
    You're not the only one.

    I have two teens, 15 yo DD and 18 yo DS and it's been interesting.

    My daughter lost about 20 pounds two years ago when she was 14. She was a little pudgy, but not seriously overweight. She just started cutting back on junk food AND she started running every day and lost the weight in about five months. When we visited the pediatrician after she'd lost the weight the dr, was really impressed at what she had done. After she lost the weight she was quite slim but not underweight. Now my DD runs, signed up for a strength and tonight class in high school and loves fitness.

    But she kind of had to come to that point by her own self.

    My son had never really worked out or anything until I started this journey. I kept encouraging him to work out and eventually he started doing the elliptical trainer in our basement, doing some abs and lifting weights. Then he started eating less and now he has lost about 20 pounds in a couple months. He, too, was not seriously overweight, but he could stand to slim down a little and get in better shape. I have now offered to get him a fitness trainer to help him develop more because he wants to get more muscular and we are talking about that.

    I encouraged both of them, but that was it. When they decided they wanted to do it, they did it on their own.

    For both of them, I think peer pressure had a lot to do with it. My daughter had played basketball at school and gained some weight during that time because they do a lot of running and she wanted to lose the weight. My son is more interested in body image and such, I think, because he wants to look good for girls.

    I would encourage your daughter like you are, make suggestions and make sure she has opportunities to exercise and be healthier, but don't push it, because from my experience, I really feel like when teens are ready to do something, they will do it.
  • AshleyMeggg
    AshleyMeggg Posts: 148 Member
    I don't have kids, and I also don't know anything about your life, but make sure she is eating healthy and learning the right way to. When I was her age (all the way through graduating high school) I was a serious athlete and in amazing shape. But then I went away to college and lost control completely because I didn't have a sport built into my daily life, I never used a gym before, and my parents never ever ate well, meaning I had no idea what was healthy or not. I think you're going about things in the right way, but don't be afraid to push healthy things simply for health reasons. (i.e.. never "eat this so you don't gain weight")

    Also, I coach 12 and 13 year old girls and if it makes you feel better about where she is at, most of them are extremely self conscious. Some will mention that they think they're fat, others comment on other people's bodies (never to them, almost as if they're observing and gauging what is normal), and some are adding a lot of exercise to their daily routine. They're all hoping for 6 pack abs. I think that body dissatisfaction goes along with the age.

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