I don't think I'll ever be happy with my body.

I feel as if I actually got to under 10% BF and looked amazing to most I still would pick myself apart and compulsively try to change to "keep looking better".

Never know unless you get there..

Good enough for what?

I know how you feel. But I'll let you in on something: quitting is the one thing that will make this process even slower and more infuriating. Wherever it is that you are trying to get, you don't have to get there tomorrow.

Have you tried any fitness dvd's to tone and build muscle? Might help your self esteem.

Sounds like you may have Body Dysmorphic Disorder. You could probably benefit from talking to a professional, but I'm just an MFP user, so take this with a grain of salt! :flowerforyou:

Yeah, I don't know if I would go so far as to say BDD, but I think you have some self-esteem/self-confidence issues that won't really be solved by changing your body. It sounds like you're also starting to feel like changing your body won't change how you feel.

I wouldn't necessarily say you need to stop with doing what you want for fitness purposes, but I think that you should step back and look at your self-esteem/confidence in other contexts. Some people can change their mindset on their own; others need some help. That help might be as limited as positive things from a friend/family member, or as much as talking to a professional about things like positive self-talk (if you find you really can't get out of a negative mindset).

Edited based on your response: If you're equating physical appearance with self-worth, you should definitely talk to a professional, I think. That can lead to obsessive focus on health or doing things that are actually bad for your physical health. I have never personally equated those two things, but I have equated other things with self-worth and it was harmful to me.

Dudebro, it's like this. I had the exact same problem, before I gained all the weight. I was super self conscious and convinced I was ugly. Now, I fixed it, basically by looking myself in the mirror everyday, even now, when I've got a lot to lose, and telling myself that I am the sexiest person alive.

When you start doing it, you feel pretty ridiculous. But if you keep it up, you really begin to like it. Heck, if you have a SO, have them say why they like different parts of your body. I guarantee that they do. If no, do it for yourself. For instance, I have rocking toes. The littlest one on the end is a little ball of odd (which suites me well), but the rest, man. Those are pretty awesome.

Then you just, you know, work your way up. Otherwise, it won't change with weight. You could weigh zero pounds, and still feel bad. about yourself. It's a mental thing, treat it like one. Lots of compliments, and no bad thoughts allowed. EVery time you think one, list five good things.