Family disproves of my fitness goals
allieloffredo
Posts: 6 Member
When I went to college I was eating what I wanted and went to the gym almost every day, I had gone from 145 to 103lbs in a year. So the freshman 15 was not an issue for me, lol. But I could not maintain 103lbs in a healthy way so since then I have gained some back and now weigh 122lb. I currently live back at home with my parents but I feel they are constantly trying to sabotage my goals. I love my parents but their version of a healthy portion and mine are two totally different things. I really would like to be 115lbs if I could but now I am just focused on being fit so I have been doing insanity for the past two weeks and am trying to eat more vegetables. I keep telling my mother to stop buying the unhealthy foods that I like because I want to eat healthier but she keeps buying them. Everywhere I look there are my comfort foods looking right back at me, ben & jerry in the freezer, cheese-its on the counter, it is getting too much. Everytime I work out they both say it is too intense and I shouldn't be doing it. I know they are both just worried about me because they care but it is making it so much more difficult to make progress. Has anyone else had a similar problem? I hope I am not the only one....
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Replies
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If you are fully determined to keep a healthy lifestyle, Ben & Jerry's hanging out on the fridge should not bother you - AT ALL. You are only responsible for your own. So if your mom probably like eating it then by all means she can buy and eat it.
If they say, it is too intense - then it probably is. Let's admit is, any kind of workout if we want to lose - we have to give our all. Therefore, it is intense. You just need to assure them that you can do it, and you are okay.0 -
I think this is less about the temptations that they are presenting you and more that you do not enjoy being told what to do with you body, right?0
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If you are fully determined to keep a healthy lifestyle, Ben & Jerry's hanging out on the fridge should not bother you - AT ALL. You are only responsible for your own. So if your mom probably like eating it then by all means she can buy and eat it.
This. If you were a morbidly obese food addict, then your family should be willing to support you by not having that stuff in the house. But you're trying to lose 7 lbs - just like you don't want your family getting in the way of your goals, your goals shouldn't get in the way of your family doing/eating what they want. You're in control of yourself, if you dont' want to eat it, don't.
Make a deal with them - tell them you'll stop complaining about the food if they'll keep their mouths shut about your workouts.0 -
In my house we have a lot of unhealthy foods, I just make the better choice of NOT eating them. I make sure my fridge is stacked with fruits and veggies.
I think they are just worried that you will push yourself too much and get hurt. I can understand that, but like someone else said, reassure them that you got this
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I agree with Trixieloo big time, also Your mindset should be "I can have that food, but I don't want it" not " I want that food, but can't have it". This way the food should not bother you at all..0
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If they say, it is too intense - then it probably is.
???? huh?
not even remotely true. it sounds as if they have absolutely no idea of physical effort, let alone what might be "too intense".
@ TS: you don't have to justify or explain your exercise to them at all. Do your thing and keep focused! Rant here, post your successes here. There are lots of posters here who do get it and who will support and not sabotage!
cheers0 -
You can ask for smaller portions or do a little shopping for your own personal snacks. There's nothing saying that you can't have yogurt while your folks have the ben & jerry's.
Treasure the time you have with your folks. Bonding over a meal is priceless. There are some things more important than the number on a scale. Best of luck to you.0 -
I had this same sort of thing happen when I moved home during the summer last year. I am in college too and lost weight as well my freshman year (and have slowly gained in the past 2 years, I'm a senior now btw). I'm trying to get back to where I was when I felt my best but I know my parents worry that I take things to the extreme sometimes. Every time I go home for the weekend its all about going out for dinner and ice cream. I've gotten a lot better about making the healthiest choices possible when we do go out and I know my parents have been trying to get in better shape too since I went on my own health kick. I always make it a point to ask my parents if they'd like to come with to the gym where we all have memberships and me and my mom like to split things when we do go out to eat. I think parents just really want to make sure we as their kids are ok (even if we are adults). I'm moving home and commuting for graduate school in May so I am curious (and nervous!) to see how this will all go. So to answer your question no you are not alone in this. Maybe some of the things I mentioned doing with my parents will help you too. Maybe encourage them to give your new lifestyle changes a try.0
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I think it's naturally for family - especially if they are not active - to be surprised at the work out routines of those of us who exercise. I am not doing anything that intense and my Mom thinks it's too much...and I'm 42, not 22...I'm well beyond the age of being anybody's baby!
That said, she also cringes when she sees me move heavy furniture or carry boxes of heavy books. Let's say it's a Mom Thing. Parents worry.
Still, what came through to me is that you're at what I consider to be a nice, low weight (I don't know your height but 115-122 seems about where I was in my early 20's) and so I wonder why you are so worried about the food around you. You don't have to eat those things...you can eat healthy. But...if you wanted to have a Cheeze It or a little ice cream...what would happen?
I guess...don't fear anything. Don't eat things you don't want to eat, and don't worry if your fitness goals are higher than those around you. Just listen to your body, be sure to nourish it, and focus on how good it feels to be capable!
Be good to you...0 -
So here is the beauty of being an adult, you can get your own place, and fill your pantry with what you want.0
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I am a firm believer when dealing with other people and conflict in asking yourself: "Who owns the problem?"
In the first instance, you do. They are happy with the food they are buying and you aren't. You need to figure out how to deal with it personally. Not them.
In the second instance, they do. You are happy with your workouts so they need to learn to deal with it.
If you don't eat the food, they may eventually stop buying it. If you leave food on your plate, they may eventually quit putting it there. The problem is your willpower. As for workouts, do what is healthy and they will have to live with it. Don't argue about these things. Just take a deep breath and go on.0 -
Well no one else in the house eats the cheez-its or ben and jerry's, so my mom buys the stuff even after I asked her numerous times to please stop. She knows those are my comfort foods. I have self control when it comes to eating that sort of stuff but I would rather it just not be around so much. I don't mind having a treat once in a while. I know that sometimes if you don't have that sort of food for a long time you may go crazy one day and eat way more than you should. Idk, I just feel like they are almost trying to sabotage my diet to a degree. Like they are both around 60yrs old and work all day, when they come home they eat a very big comfort food dinner because they consider that normal and they are both tired. My mother can't really work out because she has too many health issues and she worries about me constantly. I understand all that, moms are supposed to worry. I think she is afraid I will lose too much weight like I did when I first went to college so she tries to encourage eating when she can. I think she just needs to understand that I have my weight under control now and what I am doing is okay. I know my mom is going to worry, especially when she watches the Insanity workout, lol. But lately there have been more veggies in the fridge so it is nice that she is trying to help a little :smooched:0
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Just throw out the food when she buys it if no one else eats it... wont take long till she stops buying it0
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Just throw out the food when she buys it if no one else eats it... wont take long till she stops buying it
Or you could just not eat it, so the freezer stays stocked with the same B&J's and she won't have to buy another tub. It seems extremely rude to me to throw away things people buy with their own money, even if they don't eat it and buy it for you.. If you don't want it, don't eat it, but don't throw it away..0 -
Just throw out the food when she buys it if no one else eats it... wont take long till she stops buying it
this.
clearly she's not getting it- so throw it away and make sure she sees it sitting on top of the trash.
Otherwise- her house- she can buy whatever the hell she wants- I would also suggest going to the store with her and helping her.
Or saying mom-I appreciate your help and everything you are doing for me and supporting me while I"m X,Y and Z and therefor living at home- but THESE are the things I'd like if you are going to the store- and write them down - send her a text.
Offer to help shop and cook.
also- being an adult and moving out and buying whatever you want- iz the awesome.0 -
Gee, my mom upon seeing me thin said "Finally, you're not a fatty."0
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As long as you're in her house you really don't have much choice other than to abstain from eating what she buys. Can you not buy your own food?
Better yet, can you not live on your own where you can do as you please?0 -
I agree with Trixieloo big time, also Your mindset should be "I can have that food, but I don't want it" not " I want that food, but can't have it". This way the food should not bother you at all..
This is awesome. I think I have a new mantra! Thanks.0 -
You responded since I wrote my post...0
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Are you the only one who would eat those foods????
Nope0 -
1. Willpower - learn to say no
2. You're an adult
- Buy your own food
- It's your body and your life, who cares what your parents think on that front.
3. Get your own place0 -
I understand boomeranging. and I know that I was lucky that my mom and I found a roommate relationship after a bit.
here's the thing though - you did come back as an adult. and you are going to need to show them that. get your own groceries and use those. take over some of the cooking. do your own schedule rather than falling back to a "family schedule" that you probably had when you were a kid. and when they have comments about how they think you should be living, just shrug it off.0 -
I understand all that, moms are supposed to worry. I think she is afraid I will lose too much weight like I did when I first went to college so she tries to encourage eating when she can. I think she just needs to understand that I have my weight under control now and what I am doing is okay. I know my mom is going to worry, especially when she watches the Insanity workout, lol. But lately there have been more veggies in the fridge so it is nice that she is trying to help a little :smooched:
If you've got a plan laid out for yourself, maybe try sitting down and going over it with your mom so that she can see that you have a handle on it. Go over your planned calories, the pros and cons of Insanity, etc. Show her that you've thought this through and that it's a reasonable approach.
For the workouts, it might take time for them to adjust. It took a couple of years of consistent powerlifting before my mom started telling me "congratulations" for a big PR instead of "Ok, just don't hurt yourself." It's not that your mom isn't being supportive-- She absolutely is. However, her support leans to keeping you safe first. Show her that you're being consistently safe and the enthusiasm you're looking for will follow.0 -
1. Willpower - learn to say no
2. You're an adult
- Buy your own food
- It's your body and your life, who cares what your parents think on that front.
3. Get your own place
+10 -
Just throw out the food when she buys it if no one else eats it... wont take long till she stops buying it
What? That's so disrespectful. That's her mom's money and she can spend it how she wants. Holy crap. Not only that, if you did get rid of it - DONATE IT.
OP, have you thought of buying your own food if it is that much of an issue eating what they do?0 -
1. Willpower - learn to say no
2. You're an adult
- Buy your own food
- It's your body and your life, who cares what your parents think on that front.
3. Get your own place
+1
+20 -
In order for a lifestyle change, you're going to have to get comfortable being around those foods that you like and not gorging on them. Comfort food will be in your life for the rest of your life. You are going to have to figure out how you can manage your calories and macros and include or exclude those foods. There is no reason to exclude them unless it is a health reason or you just can't resist overeating them. Your parents don't have to change, you do. Sorry, but you are going to have to think of it this way. Good luck.0
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Well, you cannot expect them to change their lifestyle because you decided you were going to change yours. And for long term success, you need to change your relationship with food and learn that it is not the enemy anyway.
Best of luck to you.<30 -
Based on what you said, I really doubt your mom is buying you those things because she's trying to sabotage your diet. She's buying them because she remembers you liking them and is trying to get you things you like. It's really very sweet, if a little misguided. She'd probably be thrilled if you gave her other ideas for "treats" to buy you, because her ultimate goal is probably just to make you happy. When you give her suggestions, maybe try to focus on how much you like the taste of whatever (instead of telling her how healthy it is) -- that way, she's still getting to give you something delicious. If "comfort food" is a big deal to her, let her give you comfort food! Just help her to choose comfort food that fits in with your new lifestyle.0
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1. Willpower - learn to say no
2. You're an adult
- Buy your own food
- It's your body and your life, who cares what your parents think on that front.
3. Get your own place
+1
+2
+30
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