Stretch marks are sabotaging my weight loss

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K_Train450
K_Train450 Posts: 122 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hey everyone. I'm a 6'1 19 year old male at around low 300s. I have gained and lost weight in large increments for the past 5 years or so. From the constant weight changing, I developed stretch marks all over my body. Up and down my stomach, on my arms, behind my legs. It's one of the features of myself that I truly hate, and gives me a lot of insecurity. It's gotten to the point where I don't even feel like a normal human because of my skin. I don't take my shirt off in public, I don't go swimming, etc.

The point is I DO want to lose weight and look better/feel better, but my stretch marks are making it seem like losing weight is pointless because they'll never go away (I used every product imaginable). If I didn't have marks I would have so much more confidence, I would also make myself more available to women (yes, the marks are actually making me feel like I'm a monster and not good enough for anyone). It's like I'll look at my marks and instantly feel depressed and worthless. I talk to a therapist once a week about these type of issues, but I need some public opinion/support on how to live life with my stretch marks and continue to lose weight/get in shape because it's a shame every time I lose weight(50-100lbs) i let my flaws get me down and make me regress. Thank you for your time.
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Replies

  • Jwold55
    Jwold55 Posts: 39 Member
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    As someone whose delivered a baby, and has the stretchmarks to prove it, own them. Who cares if they're there? If / when you get to your goal, be proud of them. Who gives a crap if you have stretch marks if you managed to do what many aren't doing - getting healthy!! When I hit my goal I will wear a bikini and I don't give a care who looks at my stretch marks! I made, carried & delivered a baby and they are my proof. You need to own your body, and be proud of your accomplishments. They DO fade in time, though no they will never go away without surgery. Chin up hunny!
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
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    i'm sorry you feel like this man. but let me tell you that losing weight and getting into shape will make you feel a lot more confident.

    and then one day, a could of years from now you'll be at the beach or something and have your shirt off and you'll forget that you have those stretch marks. but some asswipe will make a comment, and you can shrug and say "yeah man, i used to be really heavy" and walk away and talk to whichever lady you'd like.

    don't let your weight or your stretch marks hold you back any more than they already have been.
  • horndave
    horndave Posts: 565
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    one stop thinking of them as flaws. Grow up a bit and start loving yourself for you. Marks and all. No one has the perfect body it is a myth. Two, once you get to the weight you want, those stretch marks will continue to dissipate. They wont be as prevalent. Three, Be healthy. Four, if a woman is worried about your stretch marks then her shallowness is not worth the effort.
  • CipherZero
    CipherZero Posts: 1,418 Member
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    The stretch marks will be there whether you lose the weight or not. They will fade over time, and there may be reduction methods available from a qualified plastic surgeon.

    I know the feel, though - I've dropped 70 lbs I've carried around for as long as you've been alive and have loose skin everywhere... but I'm far FAR healthier being at the lower weight, and that's the goal, isn't it?
  • Megais
    Megais Posts: 28 Member
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    stretch marks do fade eventually, keep going toward your goal :)
  • kmm0034
    kmm0034 Posts: 46 Member
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    Do you know what stretch marks are? They are the sign that you made it through. You made it through the stress you were under, the loss you experienced. They are a sign that you, you sir are alive!

    That said, if you can't change your thinking know this The more weight you lose, the smaller and less noticeable they will get. Further, if you do decide to go swimming, you'll likely end up tan, and that also helps. Scars, are scars are scars. I have stretch marks, and I have other scars. The thing is a scar is a sign that you made it through. That whatever gave you the scar is over, and you can keep on living.

    Do not let a physical flaw stop you from being healthy. Make it into a sign of how far you have come since then.

    The only other option could be your reward, for getting to your ideal weight, entirely due to the cost, which is something you'd have to check, but probably pricey, and that's cosmetic laser surgery.
  • ShirleyKwi
    ShirleyKwi Posts: 60 Member
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    Have you tried shay butter? I have a girl with really bad stretch marks and her doctor suggested this. Vitamin E is also good. It takes time for them to fade, but don't give up. Keep losing the weight. When you find the right girl she'll love you, stretch marks and all. True love sees beyond just the physical appearance.
  • AsellusReborn
    AsellusReborn Posts: 1,112 Member
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    As a member of the opposite sex, I have been attracted to plenty of men who have stretchmarks. Some people get them during puberty just from growth spurts. Most aren't noticed. -shrugs- I know that's not what you're asking, but I'll throw that in.

    As for how to live with them? They exist - whether you are healthy and fit or unfit, unhealthy, and unhappy. They are there when you regain weight. For all but a few, they're kind of part of having skin. I kind of like having skin, so I don't really notice mine.
  • kjm_723
    kjm_723 Posts: 66 Member
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    You're young, they'll fade. I grew really quickly and had horrible stretch marks behind my knees and on my arms. I thought I'd never look "normal" but now you can't even see them unless you're really looking closely and nobody really does that.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
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    Sorry if this sounds flippant/dismissive, it's not my intention, but:

    just remind yourself there are men out there that are much more gorilla-y, much grosser, with more jacked-up teeth, with worse breath, with bigger beer guts, with less hair, and MORE stretch mark scars, that are somehow snaring decent women. Clearly it's not always about looks, amirite?

    You seem like a nice guy, you are not "gross" or repellent to women, or at least not to the ones worth a damn. My husband has a nice big beer belly, with more stretch marks on his gut than I do after having his baby. Guess what? I don't care one bit. I adore that man. And his stretch marks did not deter me in the slightest fro pursuing the hell out him and convincing him to marry me. :wink:
  • sarahliftsUP
    sarahliftsUP Posts: 752 Member
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    I think once you reach your goal weight, stretch marks will be the last thing on your mind!

    I don't want to sound rude at all, but don't use the excuse of having stretch marks as a way to get out of losing weight/getting healthy! Don't worry about them! Distract people with the gun show, they won't be paying attention to stretch marks! And as other people have said, no one's body is perfect. With photoshop these days, it's hard to remember what real/normal bodies are supposed to look like!
  • hilly510
    hilly510 Posts: 46 Member
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    I'm in the same boat, I'm covered with stretch marks. It sucks as a woman but I KNOW from experience and anecdotes that the opposite sex just doesn't give a damn. Start to ignore them, because they shouldn't have power over you.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    They aren't going to go away, sadly. But don't let your "battle scars" get in the way of moving forward with your life. It seems like a huge deal right now because you're young and image is very important at your age. In time, you'll find out that your stretch marks are not as big a deal as you once thought they were. I've seen a lot of guys with stretch marks, so you're not alone!

    When I was younger I had scars on my face that made me feel like a monster. I thought I'd be hideous forever. Now that I'm older I could care less (plus they fade in time.) My husband never even noticed them. I had to point them out and he still didn't care. There are plenty of women out there who love their men, stretch marks and all.

    So while it's going to be tough for awhile and you may feel self-conscious about your body and skin, it will get better. For now, just focus on being the best version of YOU that you can be. Don't worry about what other people think. Confidence and friendliness are the most attractive features on ANY person! So go get healthy. It IS worth it. :flowerforyou:
  • K_Train450
    K_Train450 Posts: 122 Member
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    I would like to say thank you collectively to all who responded to this topic. I'm trying my hardest to just realize they're a part of life and that I can be happy and confident with them. I won't quit because of them, nor will I ever again.
  • sunnyeuphoria
    sunnyeuphoria Posts: 85 Member
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    Just ask yourself if you could be attracted to a woman with stretch marks.... I would guess the answer is yes... so why worry about the possibility of a woman finding you attractive with them? Most women really don't mind things like that. We have flaws and scars ourselves. As you get older you will see that life is not about how closely you can fit societies image of how you should look. Even celebs that are seemingly perfect have stretch marks and scars and wrinkles and cellulite n stuff. They just get them airbrushed so they don't show. No one is perfect.... just be the best you that you can be.... hold your head up high because you are making yourself healthy and fit and half of the people that you come into contact with cannot say the same. No worries my friend!
  • mathjulz
    mathjulz Posts: 5,514 Member
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    Lift weights. While it won't help get rid of stretch marks, a bit of muscle will give you confidence and possibly help them look smoother, at least (and you can always blame them on the muscle :laugh: kidding!)

    And give it time. They probably won't go away completely, but they will fade over time. Like others said, you're young. Your skin is still pretty good a repairing and replenishing, so now is really the time to make those body changes.

    And, like others said (again ... there's a lot of good answers here already), don't be ashamed of them. Many people get them for many reasons. When you've lost the weight, you can decide if you want to pursue other ways of repairing them (surgery, for example) or if they don't bother you any more. Get comfortable in your own skin, whatever that skin tends to look like. :smile:
  • IslandSeeker
    IslandSeeker Posts: 17
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    I have them, my husband has them, if fact, I think everyone I know has them. They will fade with time but will always be there unless you get laser surgery. As someone else said, whether you lose the weight or not, they will be there, so you might as well lose the weight, get fit, and live a very fulfilling life. A good woman doesn't search for "flaws" like that when getting serious about someone. Only the shallow ones do - you don't want one them!

    Worse comes to worse, you can always get some awesome tattoos to cleverly disguise them:bigsmile:
  • kdillson70
    kdillson70 Posts: 63
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    I have stretch marks from my 3 children, but after getting my stomach back into shape, I have no problems wearing my bikini, stretch marks and all! If people are going to judge you for your stretch marks, then you don't need them in your life. Simple as that!
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
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    They don't go away, but the fade to white after awhile. I've lost about 12 jean sizes and I will not be sporting a bikini this summer, even though I now have the body for it. I have stretch marks on my breast, on my hips, thighs and belly. I am embarrass to even wear short shorts, because the ones on my thighs can be seen. So your not the only one that's shy to wear anything revealing. I feel your pain, but do not let it prevent you from losing weight and getting healthy!
  • IamOnMywayNow
    IamOnMywayNow Posts: 470 Member
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    Stretch marks do not define you and they should not stop you from getting healthy! I have had two beautiful babies and I have stretch marks from them but more from going through puberty and getting chunky. My highest weight was somewhere around 173 while pregnant and on my 4'11" frame it was not pretty. Now that I have lost weight I am noticing more and more stretch marks that I did not even know existed!! But I am also discovering muscles that I never knew existed either! And that is more awesome than worrying about my flaws! We are much harder on ourselves than anyone else and just let me say, most people wont even notice your stretch marks! They will fade. Dont let them hold you back from becoming the person you want to be!!

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