Family disproves of my fitness goals
Replies
-
Seriously. Look within, kid.0 -
Be disciplined,buy your own food.I buy separate food from my gf.She eats what she wants(mostly crap)but i never touch it,i've eaten near enough the same 6 meals everyday for about a yr and a half and i love it0
-
Well no one else in the house eats the cheez-its or ben and jerry's, so my mom buys the stuff even after I asked her numerous times to please stop. She knows those are my comfort foods. I have self control when it comes to eating that sort of stuff but I would rather it just not be around so much. I don't mind having a treat once in a while. I know that sometimes if you don't have that sort of food for a long time you may go crazy one day and eat way more than you should. Idk, I just feel like they are almost trying to sabotage my diet to a degree. Like they are both around 60yrs old and work all day, when they come home they eat a very big comfort food dinner because they consider that normal and they are both tired. My mother can't really work out because she has too many health issues and she worries about me constantly. I understand all that, moms are supposed to worry. I think she is afraid I will lose too much weight like I did when I first went to college so she tries to encourage eating when she can. I think she just needs to understand that I have my weight under control now and what I am doing is okay. I know my mom is going to worry, especially when she watches the Insanity workout, lol. But lately there have been more veggies in the fridge so it is nice that she is trying to help a little :smooched:
Put the cheeze-it's in the cupboard (up high or buried in the back where you don't have to see them). Bury the ice cream in the back of the freezer under the frozen veggies and meats. Then you won't see them, but they're still there.
May I ask how tall you are? (I haven't seen it asked yet) ... You may need to reassess your calorie goals if you are trying body recomp ("tone up & lose extra fat" were your words, I think), since you don't need much of a deficit. That may give you a bit of wiggle room for an occasional treat ... knowing I had yummy ice cream waiting if it would fit in my calories for the day has helped me pass up the donut or cookie that wasn't really all that good anyway
As far as portions, does your mom serve your meals? It's time for that to stop, if so. The only child I still serve out for is the 2 year old, the others have been taught to do it on their own. Remind her you're an adult and can serve yourself. Then, if she complains about your portion size, say "I can always go back for more if I'm still hungry." Then eat slowly while you enjoy the family time, and maybe they'll forget you didn't have as much.
When I lived with my grandma, or with my in-laws (when we hit some financial bumps) I made sure to do my workouts when they were still in bed, even if that meant getting up earlier. Mostly I was self-conscious, especially about trying new things. But that can definitely avoid comments about you doing insanity.
HTH
(edited for dumb grammar mistake :noway:)0 -
I think you'll just have to figure out how to not eat those foods. It is hard - I have to do it too and I'm torturing myself because I buy it for my kids, lmao. Us mom's - we buy our kids the things they like
And do insanity while she's at work. Problem solved on that one.
How would she feel about you making supper a few times a week? She might love it if she's been working all day and is tired - and you could make any healthy option you wanted to on those days. win:win.0 -
You decide whether or not to put something in yer pie hole. Just don't eat it? I stare at boxes of pop tarts (granted, I bought them lol) but learning self control and balance is just as important as a good exercise routine.0
-
So it's ok for her parents to buy food she specifically asks them not to buy when she's the only one that eats it, but it's not ok for her to throw it out?
Interesting....0 -
It is their house and they paid for it. She doesnt have to eat it.0
-
So it's ok for her parents to buy food she specifically asks them not to buy when she's the only one that eats it, but it's not ok for her to throw it out?
Interesting....
Whose money is getting spent? The parents. So their stuff. Even if they are buying it for her, she can choose not to eat it.0 -
Just throw out the food when she buys it if no one else eats it... wont take long till she stops buying it
What? That's so disrespectful. That's her mom's money and she can spend it how she wants. Holy crap. Not only that, if you did get rid of it - DONATE IT.
OP, have you thought of buying your own food if it is that much of an issue eating what they do?
I completely agree with this! Do NOT throw it away.
OP, they're not trying to sabotage you and I'm sure if you really thought about it, you'd realize that. You're the one accountable for what you put in your mouth. It'd be the same if you had a roommate or a live-in boyfriend or husband and/or kids or if you work in an office with folks pushing goodies. There will always be tempting food around that you have to deal with, this is just the first of many hurdles. You can't control what other people do or buy for you, you can only control how you react to it. You tried asking her to stop and that didn't work so just get over it and practice some self control.
What helps me is to designate who the food belongs to and keep it in a certain place that's not easy to get to. My husband likes having cookies around. Normally that would be a HUGE temptation but they're his cookies so I don't touch them unless he offers me one. When this first started, I also had to keep them on a very high shelf towards the back so they were out of my reach but he could still get them (he's almost a foot taller than me). Might sound weird but it does work. So maybe since you don't want to eat it and your Mom spent her money on it, you can think of it as hers (even if she doesn't actually eat it). Put the crackers in a cupboard you wouldn't normally get into and put the Ben & Jerry's in a brown bag and hide them in the back and bottom of the freezer. Out of sight, out of mind.0 -
Maybe it's feasible to say "Thanks for the ice cream treat. I've fallen in love with Skinny Cow Ice Cream Sandwiches. They're cheaper and amazing! Could we get that next time?" Or insert whatever alternative you can think of. Sometimes, just eating something that mom thinks you should have is all that she needs to see.
I'm not a fan of the "throw it out" concept, mostly because it feels highly passive-aggressive to me (not to mention, it's wasteful and disrespectful in their own home. If it was your house they visited, knock yourself out with the throwing away. Just my opinion). I'm more a fan of finding a nice way to ask for what you'd rather have.
Also, count a portion out and have some Cheez-Its and eat them in front of Mom.
*Edited for clarification*0 -
So it's ok for her parents to buy food she specifically asks them not to buy when she's the only one that eats it, but it's not ok for her to throw it out?
Interesting....
Whose money is getting spent? The parents. So their stuff. Even if they are buying it for her, she can choose not to eat it.
incorrect.
if they bought them FOR her- then she can do with them what she wants- she can pretend to eat them (take them to work in little baggies) and throw them out there- or just throw them at home.
If you buy something for someone- you don't get to say what they do with it. It's now their property to do with as they chose.
BF bought me THREE cakes for my birthday (he just simply couldn't decide!) one was TERRIBLE- the other was AMAZING. the third- was a single serving type cake- super tiny. We both had a slice of the awful one- and the next week had the other one and ate it- the bad cake got thrown away after he left. Sorry to waste food but I'm not eating crap I don't want- or don't like.0 -
It's hard but it's time to take responsibility for yourself and just don't eat it if you don't want it. Somebody else will eventually if you leave it in the cupboard/freezer. We all have daily temptations to deal with food wise but it's nobody's fault but your own if you eat unhealthily when healthy choices are available.0
-
I would kill my kid if he threw something I bought away. Whether I bought it for him or not.
what will work BETTER and won't be disrespectful or wasteful is to *control* yourself and not eat them. Mom is unlikely to buy it if it's already in the kitchen not getting eaten. She will also get the hint that way.
it's how I figure out what my sons current favorite things are. Examples: Bananas - rot (if left for him to consume) Oranges- get eaten so fast my head spins and I get 0 of them. Result? i buy a huge bag of oranges and only get bananas if I want them that week.
Oh and he also used to devour oatmeal and he's since decided he doesn't like it. We've had the same box of flavored stuff in the cabinet for awhile. He hasn't' eaten it, so I haven't' bought more. Works for me.
Simple and no one is mad at anyone.0 -
I live on my own and my dad keeps bringing me cupcakes, in one week be brought me 3 packs of cupcakes, he knows I'm not feeling well and when I was a kid that when we use to get treats. I told him I need to lose weight and that I can eat the cupcake, he says I know I just want you to know I'm here for you throw them out if you got to.... With that in my mind I have 4 packs of cupcakes sitting in my fridge because when I see them I think of my dad saying he's here for me....
Some times parents just do things that make them feel good when they buy stuff for you, but I think if your number obsessed you need to think about things.. I don't think you should be so mad about it.. If you don't like it simply don't eat it...0 -
So it's ok for her parents to buy food she specifically asks them not to buy when she's the only one that eats it, but it's not ok for her to throw it out?
Interesting....
Whose money is getting spent? The parents. So their stuff. Even if they are buying it for her, she can choose not to eat it.
incorrect.
if they bought them FOR her- then she can do with them what she wants- she can pretend to eat them (take them to work in little baggies) and throw them out there- or just throw them at home.
If you buy something for someone- you don't get to say what they do with it. It's now their property to do with as they chose.
BF bought me THREE cakes for my birthday (he just simply couldn't decide!) one was TERRIBLE- the other was AMAZING. the third- was a single serving type cake- super tiny. We both had a slice of the awful one- and the next week had the other one and ate it- the bad cake got thrown away after he left. Sorry to waste food but I'm not eating crap I don't want- or don't like.
pretending to eat it will not help. they will buy more and waste more money0 -
1. Willpower - learn to say no
2. You're an adult
- Buy your own food
- It's your body and your life, who cares what your parents think on that front.
3. Get your own place
+1
+2
being an adult doesnt equate to being able to afford a place. also plenty of overweight adults living in their own house
the willpower thing u deffo have to work on if u have no control of what is being bought0 -
What's wrong with eating Ben & Jerry's?0
-
When I went to college I was eating what I wanted and went to the gym almost every day, I had gone from 145 to 103lbs in a year. So the freshman 15 was not an issue for me, lol. But I could not maintain 103lbs in a healthy way so since then I have gained some back and now weigh 122lb. I currently live back at home with my parents but I feel they are constantly trying to sabotage my goals. I love my parents but their version of a healthy portion and mine are two totally different things. I really would like to be 115lbs if I could but now I am just focused on being fit so I have been doing insanity for the past two weeks and am trying to eat more vegetables. I keep telling my mother to stop buying the unhealthy foods that I like because I want to eat healthier but she keeps buying them. Everywhere I look there are my comfort foods looking right back at me, ben & jerry in the freezer, cheese-its on the counter, it is getting too much. Everytime I work out they both say it is too intense and I shouldn't be doing it. I know they are both just worried about me because they care but it is making it so much more difficult to make progress. Has anyone else had a similar problem? I hope I am not the only one....
Are your parents from another country? My mom is old school and to her over weight = healthy.0 -
So it's ok for her parents to buy food she specifically asks them not to buy when she's the only one that eats it, but it's not ok for her to throw it out?
Interesting....
Whose money is getting spent? The parents. So their stuff. Even if they are buying it for her, she can choose not to eat it.
incorrect.
if they bought them FOR her- then she can do with them what she wants- she can pretend to eat them (take them to work in little baggies) and throw them out there- or just throw them at home.
If you buy something for someone- you don't get to say what they do with it. It's now their property to do with as they chose.
BF bought me THREE cakes for my birthday (he just simply couldn't decide!) one was TERRIBLE- the other was AMAZING. the third- was a single serving type cake- super tiny. We both had a slice of the awful one- and the next week had the other one and ate it- the bad cake got thrown away after he left. Sorry to waste food but I'm not eating crap I don't want- or don't like.
So if the rest of the family would eat it, it is still okay because SHE doesn't want it? No. Still not okay. Difference between you AND your BF agreeing that something tasted like crap and getting rid of it compared to just 1 person in a household "making a lifestyle change" throwing away food that they didn't buy.0 -
Its kind of terrible how everyone on this thread is just judging you instead of helping. I totally understand though. My parents do the same thing. Every time I come home to visit, they buy all my favorite junk foods. When I told my mom thanks for the food, but next time you don't need to buy it because I don't eat things like that anymore, she got really upset. In my case there's 2 things going on. My parents want to spoil me with junk food when I come home because they want to feel like they're taking care of me. Which I appreciate, but we're working on changing the definition to mean greek yogurt and carrot sticks. The other part of it is that my parents have a different relationship with food than I do. I can't just eat one Dorito. People can judge me all they want (although I'd prefer it if they kept their comments to themselves, because I don't care), but I just can't stop eating them. I'll eat half the bag in one sitting, and since I know I can't be trusted, I don't keep them in my house. My mother just doesn't understand that. Food is just food to her, its not a compulsion or emotional weakness.
I haven't been able to solve the problem, but there's a couple of things that help. Try going grocery shopping with your parents. Also hide the junk food in the cabinets. I do that at my parents' house too. Both of these are helpful to your parents, so they won't get upset or feel like you don't appreciate what they're trying to do for you, but they also help keep the amount of junk food sitting around a minimum. Good luck!! And ignore the haters
0 -
1. Willpower - learn to say no
2. You're an adult
- Buy your own food
- It's your body and your life, who cares what your parents think on that front.
3. Get your own place
+1
+2
being an adult doesnt equate to being able to afford a place. also plenty of overweight adults living in their own house
the willpower thing u deffo have to work on if u have no control of what is being bought
That still doesn't take away from the other points presented which are obtainable/doable.0 -
1. Willpower - learn to say no
2. You're an adult
- Buy your own food
- It's your body and your life, who cares what your parents think on that front.
3. Get your own place
+1
+2
being an adult doesnt equate to being able to afford a place. also plenty of overweight adults living in their own house
the willpower thing u deffo have to work on if u have no control of what is being bought
That still doesn't take away from the other points presented which are obtainable/doable.
i agreed with willpower0 -
Its kind of terrible how everyone on this thread is just judging you instead of helping.
<snip>
Methinks you missed quite a few of the posts. There's a lot of helpful suggestions. Some of them are a possibly a touch rough but not everyone sugarcoats everything. Other posts are kinds and offer suggestions, even questions to clarify. I only saw a few that were really rude and judgmental, if that.
(Doesn't invalidate the rest of this respondent's post, but please don't paint "everyone" with the same brush of a few people.)0 -
Treasure the time you have with your folks. Bonding over a meal is priceless. There are some things more important than the number on a scale. Best of luck to you.
I wish my mother was here to tell me I'm working out to hard
0 -
Its kind of terrible how everyone on this thread is just judging you instead of helping. I totally understand though. My parents do the same thing. Every time I come home to visit, they buy all my favorite junk foods. When I told my mom thanks for the food, but next time you don't need to buy it because I don't eat things like that anymore, she got really upset. In my case there's 2 things going on. My parents want to spoil me with junk food when I come home because they want to feel like they're taking care of me. Which I appreciate, but we're working on changing the definition to mean greek yogurt and carrot sticks. The other part of it is that my parents have a different relationship with food than I do. I can't just eat one Dorito. People can judge me all they want (although I'd prefer it if they kept their comments to themselves, because I don't care), but I just can't stop eating them. I'll eat half the bag in one sitting, and since I know I can't be trusted, I don't keep them in my house. My mother just doesn't understand that. Food is just food to her, its not a compulsion or emotional weakness.
I haven't been able to solve the problem, but there's a couple of things that help. Try going grocery shopping with your parents. Also hide the junk food in the cabinets. I do that at my parents' house too. Both of these are helpful to your parents, so they won't get upset or feel like you don't appreciate what they're trying to do for you, but they also help keep the amount of junk food sitting around a minimum. Good luck!! And ignore the haters
Me thinks you have no clue as to what a "hater" is.0 -
So it's ok for her parents to buy food she specifically asks them not to buy when she's the only one that eats it, but it's not ok for her to throw it out?
Interesting....
Whose money is getting spent? The parents. So their stuff. Even if they are buying it for her, she can choose not to eat it.
^^This. I'm not exactly sure why it's necessary to ask Mom not to buy foods... I have candy bars and ice cream in my house because my fiance loves that kind of stuff. I love it too... I just don't eat it if it doesn't fit in my calorie goals for the day. I think you might be over reacting OP.0 -
Treasure the time you have with your folks. Bonding over a meal is priceless. There are some things more important than the number on a scale. Best of luck to you.
I wish my mother was here to tell me I'm working out to hard
OMG both of these!!!
I know how annoying parents can be but she is only showing you how much she loves you. Treasure it and appreciate it while you have the chance.0 -
Its kind of terrible how everyone on this thread is just judging you instead of helping. I totally understand though. My parents do the same thing. Every time I come home to visit, they buy all my favorite junk foods. When I told my mom thanks for the food, but next time you don't need to buy it because I don't eat things like that anymore, she got really upset. In my case there's 2 things going on. My parents want to spoil me with junk food when I come home because they want to feel like they're taking care of me. Which I appreciate, but we're working on changing the definition to mean greek yogurt and carrot sticks. The other part of it is that my parents have a different relationship with food than I do. I can't just eat one Dorito. People can judge me all they want (although I'd prefer it if they kept their comments to themselves, because I don't care), but I just can't stop eating them. I'll eat half the bag in one sitting, and since I know I can't be trusted, I don't keep them in my house. My mother just doesn't understand that. Food is just food to her, its not a compulsion or emotional weakness.
I haven't been able to solve the problem, but there's a couple of things that help. Try going grocery shopping with your parents. Also hide the junk food in the cabinets. I do that at my parents' house too. Both of these are helpful to your parents, so they won't get upset or feel like you don't appreciate what they're trying to do for you, but they also help keep the amount of junk food sitting around a minimum. Good luck!! And ignore the haters
Who exactly was hating? "Take control of your own life" isn't a character assignation, it's the "help" you claimed wasn't offered.0 -
I have a similar problem. I have a very hard time saying no to certain foods and my mom knows this, is even worried about it, but has her own struggles with food. Only my mom tries to hide it from me. I ate about 8 Skinny Cow icecream sandwiches after 1 or 2 quesidillas and some other small dish. I felt sick the rest of the day and threw up driving home the next day, I'm assuming because my body couldn't process it all. Today while looking for some frozen chicken breasts I saw a box of those icecream sandwiches tucked away in the freezer. The only way I find works for me not to binge is to plan my meals on myfitnesspal ahead of the day and it's much easier to stick to as opposed to trying to figure out what to eat, poking through everything and picking at random. As far as her buying junk food that only you eat, I agree with sitting her down and talking her through your plan. Show her that it's a healthy lifestyle and you're doing it in consideration of your health as opposed to because you feel fat.. Also, make sure your BMI would be healthy at 115 lbs. It seems a low goal to me but I'm 5'6" and have an atheltic build. And don't rely on numbers! Muscle looks nicer and is healthier than fat or just being skin and bones so if the healthy body doesn't correspond to the number, don't worry! Good luck!0
-
Moderation is better than full-on denial. Full-on denial leads to eating the entire tub of B&J's along with the entire box of Cheez-its. I recommend portion sizing them out (or even making baggies of only half-portions), so that you can eat them slowly enough for them to not be replaced quickly, but you can also enjoy them from time to time. If you can't control yourself, chances are, you're denying yourself too hard.
I had this problem when I was disgustingly under eating, at ED levels. I haven't had it since I started eating more.
As for the parents issue, sitting down and talking to them like they're humans and not the enemy is usually helpful. I consistently make side notes towards mine that I'm not going to eat meat, therefore they shouldn't cook any for me, and they let me buy my own food and cook it, and they help me out with buying ingredients for meals when they're buying ingredients for theirs. They appreciate that I'm learning to cook on the side (eating pescatarian with people who don't eat fish means a lot of learning) and that I'm doing something healthy for myself. It's up to you to educate them in a sane, respectful way.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions