Backhanded compliment ....

BrownEyedBetty
BrownEyedBetty Posts: 85 Member
in Motivation and Support
What backhanded compliment do you get all the time? Its like they mean well, but then it comes out wrong.. My favorite " wow, you're pretty for a big girl" .... really .. I can't be pretty for a girl...
«13

Replies

  • vorgas
    vorgas Posts: 741 Member
    "You're not nearly as mean as you look..."
    "Once I got to know you, I learned you were actually a nice guy."
    "Don't get too big."
    "Nice pants."
    "Wow, your socks actually match today!"
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I just want to go on the record to congratulate you on not only using this term correctly and saying it correctly, but also the almost impossible to achieve writing/spelling it correctly on the topic line.
  • tmaryam
    tmaryam Posts: 289 Member
    "You look good for your age." Ughhhh.
  • tinglesby
    tinglesby Posts: 96 Member
    i got one once that was super. my weight has fluctuated over the years and i had someone whose know me for a while go "you were super hot when you were thin, are you hoping to get back to that with the diet and exercise youre doing now?"
    that was so super.
  • RomulanWarbird
    RomulanWarbird Posts: 230
    I used to get that one all the time. Like I can't just be pretty. Ugh.

    I don't even have visible muscle and I get, "You're not as scary as you look."

    And occasionally, "You're really feminine for a lesbian." <-- Taking a look at this one. These are from people who barely know me, who talk to me in class or school, and have no idea that I'm straight. They assume I'm a lesbian. It's like a doulbe-wammy and really insulting to actual lesbians.
  • RomulanWarbird
    RomulanWarbird Posts: 230
    i got one once that was super. my weight has fluctuated over the years and i had someone whose know me for a while go "you were super hot when you were thin, are you hoping to get back to that with the diet and exercise youre doing now?"
    that was so super.

    I would punch that guy/girl. So hard.
  • jables85
    jables85 Posts: 17 Member
    "Have you lost a ton of weight?"

    Uhh, yes...but why are you asking? Wouldn't losing "a ton" of weight be pretty noticeable? Thanks for reminding me how heavy you thought I was! Haha.

    And BrownEyedBett, you ARE pretty! :-)
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
    "Don't loose anymore weight your scrawny now as it is." ~ an aunt that hasn't seen me in awhile
    "You weigh less than both me and dad now. You better knock it off" ~ from my mother
    "Wow! I'm just not used to the skinny you yet" ~ my mother
    "I'm gonna pray for you." ~ a friend that hadn't seen me in several months and thought I liked sickly
    "Would you like to buy a candy bar for my kids fundraiser?" before I can answer, "Oh wait your don't eat that, your dieting." today at work from a coworker.
  • tomomatic
    tomomatic Posts: 1,794 Member
    "You speak English like an American."
    Are you inferring that I'm not American? DIAFYSMF.
  • mailroomclerk
    mailroomclerk Posts: 70
    "you have a fat **** but at least it's face is cute", getting seriously tired of this one...
  • RomulanWarbird
    RomulanWarbird Posts: 230
    "You speak English like an American."
    Are you inferring that I'm not American? DIAFYSMF.

    Another one that's punch-worthy. People are SO STUPID.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    Uh, you're pretty for ANY girl, period. Just Wow! :love:
  • ZombieEarhart
    ZombieEarhart Posts: 320 Member
    Until I lost weight, I didn't realize how much I used to get complimented on my accessories. Nice bag! I love your scarf! Now I get compliments on my actual appearance. It's like people wanted to say something nice, so chose something totally unattached to my actual person. It's kind of a bummer in retrospect.

    Also, agreed- you are super pretty :)
  • BrownEyedBetty
    BrownEyedBetty Posts: 85 Member
    "You're not nearly as mean as you look..."
    "Once I got to know you, I learned you were actually a nice guy."
    "Don't get too big."
    "Nice pants."
    "Wow, your socks actually match today!"


    the sock one.....lmao awesome!
  • BrownEyedBetty
    BrownEyedBetty Posts: 85 Member
    "you have a fat **** but at least it's face is cute", getting seriously tired of this one...

    damn.. it must be so difficult for u.. turn around for a sec... : )
  • ashleyisgreat
    ashleyisgreat Posts: 586 Member
    Until I lost weight, I didn't realize how much I used to get complimented on my accessories. Nice bag! I love your scarf! Now I get compliments on my actual appearance. It's like people wanted to say something nice, so chose something totally unattached to my actual person. It's kind of a bummer in retrospect.

    Also, agreed- you are super pretty :)

    Yep, I get this a lot. "Cute shoes!"

    Also, when talking to a friend about feeling down after clothes shopping, she says "but at least you're really smart. Guys like that, right?" Ummm...I guess? Thanks? What?
  • PrettyPearl88
    PrettyPearl88 Posts: 368 Member
    Until I lost weight, I didn't realize how much I used to get complimented on my accessories. Nice bag! I love your scarf! Now I get compliments on my actual appearance. It's like people wanted to say something nice, so chose something totally unattached to my actual person. It's kind of a bummer in retrospect.

    The compliments I get are STILL usually about my accessories...even AFTER losing over 50 lbs. They actually make me happy! I take pride in putting my outfits and accessories together and I have a lot of fun with it, so I'm genuinely flattered by such compliments.

    Or at least I was flattered by those compliments, until I read this post a minute ago. :sad:
  • amy_kee
    amy_kee Posts: 694 Member
    I've really found so many people on here don't know so much about a lot of things. They think they do because they might have seen someone else on here say it. That in no way makes it knowledgeable or accurate. A lot of people are all the time completing their friends when they get close to their calorie goal---even if they don't eat healthy food. They say things like, "Good Job," "Good day, " "You did real well." It's just things people say over and over and over. It doesn't matter if the person is eating days full of all unhealthy foods, but stay close to their calorie goal. Compliments like that aren't helpful at all. They just encourage the bad eating person to continue on doing so. Maybe even the people that continually make these screwed up comments don't even know enough to appreciate a person eating a healthy food plan.
  • bobbijodmb
    bobbijodmb Posts: 463 Member
    last week when posting a pic on fb of a before/current, a coworker said to me 'wow you former cow'
  • Jesea
    Jesea Posts: 376 Member
    I was told last week, "if you lose any more, you'll look gross" :(
  • Kst76
    Kst76 Posts: 935 Member
    I was told last week, "if you lose any more, you'll look gross" :(

    lol,
    thats "funny". Typically from girls who are jealous.
  • HereWeGoAgain7
    HereWeGoAgain7 Posts: 163 Member
    Until I lost weight, I didn't realize how much I used to get complimented on my accessories. Nice bag! I love your scarf! Now I get compliments on my actual appearance. It's like people wanted to say something nice, so chose something totally unattached to my actual person. It's kind of a bummer in retrospect.

    The compliments I get are STILL usually about my accessories...even AFTER losing over 50 lbs. They actually make me happy! I take pride in putting my outfits and accessories together and I have a lot of fun with it, so I'm genuinely flattered by such compliments.

    Or at least I was flattered by those compliments, until I read this post a minute ago. :sad:

    I actually know quite a few people who will NOT compliment someone on their weight loss just incase the weight loss is unintentional or medically related. These people compliment people on their outfits or accessories as a way of saying that they noticed you and think you look good.

    My favorite to date was my hubby saying his chubby chasing days were over, because his getting fit wife still has boobs.

    ETA: Take that back...my favorite was my doctor last year "You're blood work results are amazing...especially considering how fat you are" :huh:
  • _MG_
    _MG_ Posts: 453 Member

    ETA: Take that back...my favorite was my doctor last year "You're blood work results are amazing...especially considering how fat you are" :huh:

    I could accept that one. I don't want my Doc to sugar coat it.

    The others? Not so much.
  • moonlitheaven
    moonlitheaven Posts: 9
    "You make a beautiful pregnant woman..."

    I am not pregnant... O_o
  • ZombieEarhart
    ZombieEarhart Posts: 320 Member
    Until I lost weight, I didn't realize how much I used to get complimented on my accessories. Nice bag! I love your scarf! Now I get compliments on my actual appearance. It's like people wanted to say something nice, so chose something totally unattached to my actual person. It's kind of a bummer in retrospect.

    The compliments I get are STILL usually about my accessories...even AFTER losing over 50 lbs. They actually make me happy! I take pride in putting my outfits and accessories together and I have a lot of fun with it, so I'm genuinely flattered by such compliments.

    Or at least I was flattered by those compliments, until I read this post a minute ago. :sad:

    No, you should be flattered! My accessories were/are great, but in retrospect that was really the only thing anyone ever pointed out- ever!
  • auburngirl06
    auburngirl06 Posts: 153 Member
    :You look great for having 3 kids" WTF! Why can't I just look great? Why must you say the having kids part? That pisses me off so much.
  • Fit_Fox88
    Fit_Fox88 Posts: 410 Member
    last week when posting a pic on fb of a before/current, a coworker said to me 'wow you former cow'

    Seriously??? Some people are just plain rude! Jeez.... :noway:
  • ashandstuff
    ashandstuff Posts: 442 Member
    It's sucks hearing things from people who have seen the transition from larger to smaller....you realize how rude the people you see each day are. Example...these are things said by the same person:

    When I was heavy:
    "You carry your weight so well, girls would kill to have that beautiful hourglass figure"

    Now:
    "Look how beautiful you are now that you've lost weight!"

    Both are relatively nice things to say, but after reflecting and thinking about it...it just makes me feel sad and that their "compliment" was really just said out of pity. Like I was this ugly/gross person before I lost weight, and now I only matter to them since I am thinner. Either way, that kind of talk puts me in a place where I feel like I have to consistently get better or be "more beautiful."

    I've come to the conclusion that people commenting on weight (when not asked a direct question about the topic) are always out of line.
  • jdhoward_101
    jdhoward_101 Posts: 234 Member
    My mum thinks i'm too skinny....i'm definitely not, but i have lost a lot of weight and she just isn't used to me this size. Although i have put on about a stone recently, (fell off the wagon), but she came out with;

    "Oh, you look like you've put on weight!"

    She meant it as a compliment, but considering that stone i've put on....not cool. Not so much of a backhanded compliment as much of a backhanded insult bless her :p
  • shelly_p99
    shelly_p99 Posts: 4 Member
    I get the "you look good for your age" compliment CONSTANTLY. Then when I say I have an 18 and 19 year old...the look they give as they try to do the math based on how old they THINK I am. I had one person say darn...did you start when you were 12? Uhhhhhh nooooo...I am 41 years old (but I acually adopted soooooo...what an idiot!). Ohhhhhh...wowwwwwwwwww you look good for your age...you look so younggggg. OMG I never would've guessed...blah blah blah blah. I guess at 40 I was supposed to turn into a sac of coal! LOL.

Categories