Backhanded compliment ....



  • coolblondenerd
    coolblondenerd Posts: 90 Member
    I get "You're smart for a blonde!" Gee thanks! The worst one of heard happened to one of my best friends. She is totally gorgeous. She also happens to be a bigger girl. She was shopping with a now former friend, and she tried on a dress. Former friend said "Wow! That dress looks great on you! Imagine how good it would look if you were thinner!" If I were there, there would have been punches. Not generally violent, but my friend can be very self conscious about her weight. Also no one insults my friends!
  • vampirette
    "You dress well for your size..." - Do you really need to say "for your size..."? No.
    "That's flattering." - Really? Not "Cute dress" or "You look nice"? Annoying.
  • strawmama
    strawmama Posts: 623 Member
    I've gotten this one a lot, especially when I was really heavy: "You're so pretty/beautiful/ me". Like, seriously, no one else would think those things about me, just you?
  • LozPenguin
    LozPenguin Posts: 139 Member
    "Your eyelashes are your best feature." Really??
  • sfbaumgarten
    sfbaumgarten Posts: 912 Member
    I don't necessarily think this is backhanded, but I've been getting the "I barely recognized you- You look great!" comments and those seem to get my wheels turning a little... Like I looked terrible when you easily recognized me?

    I'm not good with compliments in general. I'm awkward. They're awkward. Everything's just awkward.
  • ils_1231
    ils_1231 Posts: 249 Member
    "You dress well for your size..." - Do you really need to say "for your size..."? No.
    "That's flattering." - Really? Not "Cute dress" or "You look nice"? Annoying.

    this ^^ --

    "you've always dressed really well for your body type" ..... errrrrr


    "you are actually really pretty" -- huh???

    i have a baby face so ive gotten " you look like you are getting younger and younger by the day!" -- im a 26 year old (manager which is terrible when baby faced)... who looks about 19/20
  • SusanBT1954
    I get that one also.
  • ohaston
    ohaston Posts: 218 Member
    OH BOY, My worst was when I called the guard shack at work and tried to explain to the security guard who I was and he was like "Oooo YEAAAA, I know you ... You're the girl thats "fat fine" ... REALLY .. IM FAT FINE?!?!?!?

    Ok, so I've always had big hips, boobs, & butt .. and yes It could be worst ... BUT FAT FINE !!!! Grrrrr!
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    I comment on peoples' dress and accessories and hair and makeup because I know it probably makes them feel good. Do people regularly comment on others' physical appearance more than the stuff that changes every day?

    I do all the time. Friends, at least. Complete strangers more like sometimes - if they're wearing something fabulous. I've yet to have some random stranger not break into a grin when I compliment their knitted scarf (especially if they made it themselves), or amazing jacket.

    me too... I drive by compliment complete strangers- would definitely not be doing that about their figure.

    Friends/coworkers- people I know/have met- I absolutely will do hair/face/makeup/nails/body compliments.

    The world is full of negativity- saying one small nice thing could make their day- I know sometimes it makes mine. So I'm all about giving compliments- accessories or personage. Just depends on what's going on and how well I know them.

    OP sorry for the backhanded compliment- that's so shoddy.

    I hate when people attach stipulations to their compliment- just let the compliment be as it is. It was good enough to say randomly- so let it go.
  • pseudomuffin
    pseudomuffin Posts: 1,058 Member
    "You look like you're, like, 15." Estimated age ranges from 14-19. Usually followed up by, "Well, you'll be glad you look so young when you're older!"

    People disrespect me a lot because they think I look like a high school aged kid. I had a waitress ask recently if I was "f**king with her" when I ordered a rum & coke. My favorite is when women flirt with my fiancé in front of me because they think he's my dad... :mad:
  • itodd4019
    itodd4019 Posts: 340 Member
    hahaaha- you are good looking for a lesbian! hahaha - you shouldkick that person in the nuts I swear.

    I got this one last week. I come into the office sweaty every day, I ride in. I am a recovering Highland Games athlete, so still pretty big.

    anyhow- this lady that had apilate studio downstairs says-

    "for as much as you sweat you should be alot smaller"

    UM-- Most of my sweating has been done trying to get big!!!!
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
    The important thing to realize is that those "compliments" are really not compliments. They are veiled insults.
  • aarnwine2013
    aarnwine2013 Posts: 317 Member
    Well I was spared until today and I was asked if I'd lost 60 lbs... Gee thanks.

    Oh and I got asked if I'm done losing yet. I mean why ask someone that. Weightloss for me is very personal and I don't share that at work...
  • gmcoulombe
    gmcoulombe Posts: 14 Member
    My favorite ones has always been "you carry your weight really well!". I never thought it was insulting until I lost weight and then thought back on it.

    Runner up has always been "you have such a pretty face". So everything else is ugly?

    Oh and let's not forget ... "don't drop any more weight, your looking too thin as it is". If I could just "drop" the weight believe me I would have dropped it all at once and no I'm not too thin, your just insecure and want me to stay fat so you can feel better about yourself.

    If you really feel the need to comment on my weight a simple "you look great" or "I love how dedicated you are. It's inspiring" will do just fine thanks.
  • DucklingtoSwan
    DucklingtoSwan Posts: 169 Member
    My hands-down best ever: I was in a play and I'd had a pretty plum role that not a lot of directors might have given me due to my appearance. One night after rehearsal I thanked the director for the opportunity and he said:

    "Yeah, there were 20 other women in the room I could have cast over you for looks, but I wanted someone with talent."

  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
    "You look so much better than you did!"
  • endermako
    endermako Posts: 785 Member
    When I was a lot thinner I used to get complimented on everything. Now What I hear is " wow you have pretty eyes." And thats it... Or that I have a nice necklace :(
  • MissKalhan
    MissKalhan Posts: 2,282 Member
    last week when posting a pic on fb of a before/current, a coworker said to me 'wow you former cow'

    I so understand this, when I posted a before and after photo someone commented "wow you look so much better now!" like gee thanks, I'm aware I needed to lsoe weight but I still looked fine. GAH Lol
  • pzacher68
    pzacher68 Posts: 38 Member
    "Wow, you are tall!" (I'm 6-4 and 46 years old)

    Typical replies to that one...
    "Thanks, I picked tall parents."
    "Really? it just happened last night."
    "No, you are just really short."
    "Wow, I was 5-8 yesterday! Thanks!"
    "Am I? I never noticed!"

    One I used to get a lot: "Are you still growing?"
    "No I was born this height. My mom's vagina is WRECKED!"
  • sugarlemonpie
    sugarlemonpie Posts: 311 Member
    The one I really hate is when I buy a new dress or something, and my mom says "I love it, it's so slimming on you!".

    Why is 'slimming' a compliment? Automatically it makes me feel like a blimp otherwise, and all the rest of my clothes are horrible on me. I would feel a lot better if people would just say "That's a nice dress and it looks great on you" rather than try to make me feel like it detracts from the fact I'm still overweight.

    Edit: Another one I remembered... My mom told my brother I'm trying to be healthier and he says "That's good, I get concerned about her."

    Um... Thanks.