Need to lose weight FAST!

srr728
srr728 Posts: 549 Member
in Chit-Chat
I'm going on vacation in July and I want to lose 40 pounds in 3 days.....Should i cut off both arms, or just one leg?
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Replies

  • maria1113
    maria1113 Posts: 508 Member
    Maybe one arm and one leg? You should be fine with one of each. Just make sure you leave your preferred hand so writing will be easier. :tongue:
  • Lammo_UK
    Lammo_UK Posts: 61
    It depends on how big your legs are. Maybe take one up to the knee then re-weigh. If not enough start with the fingers on your non-dominant hand.

    WARNING DO NOT CUT OFF YOUR DOMINANT HAND AS THIS WILL STOP YOU BEING ABLE TO PICK UP THE COCTAILS/BEER/WINE THAT YOU WILL WAN"T TO CONSUME ON YOUR HOLIDAYS

    Happy camping :drinker:
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    amputation is no longer recommended for rapid weight loss.

    you should perhaps investigate time travel.

    good luck on your journey... and don't stop believin'! :flowerforyou:
  • jdad1
    jdad1 Posts: 1,899 Member
    Do you lift weights? That would change the overall composition of the limb you are considering removing. Muscle weighs more then fat you know, i read that on the forums so i know it's true.
  • sbarella
    sbarella Posts: 713 Member
    Are you insane? Just eat 300 calories a day and you'll be fine. Unless you can't sustain that huge amount of food, in that case drop to 199.
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    Are you insane? Just eat 300 calories a day and you'll be fine. Unless you can't sustain that huge amount of food, in that case drop to 199.

    ^ no. this is broscience.

    there is nothing magical about 199 calories. :angry:
  • Chris_Day_ZA
    Chris_Day_ZA Posts: 3
    Are you insane? Just eat 300 calories a day and you'll be fine. Unless you can't sustain that huge amount of food, in that case drop to 199.

    Yeah, lose weight for your holiday, screw up your metabolism, put much more weight on over the rest of the year, repair your metabolism with great effort over the next two years, work much harder to return to your current weight.
  • Lammo_UK
    Lammo_UK Posts: 61
    Are you insane? Just eat 300 calories a day and you'll be fine. Unless you can't sustain that huge amount of food, in that case drop to 199.

    Yeah, lose weight for your holiday, screw up your metabolism, put much more weight on over the rest of the year, repair your metabolism with great effort over the next two years, work much harder to return to your current weight.

    Ah sarcasm & irony of the original post is sadly starting to get lost...:wink:
  • kitticus15
    kitticus15 Posts: 152 Member
    How about teatox???

    Drink nothing but herbal and fruit teas for 3 days, but remember to log each one 1 cal over so 5 cals nothing better than overestimating than underestimating...

    I read on the forum we do not weigh and log food correctly, so adding a few cals will help with the teatox :-)
  • srr728
    srr728 Posts: 549 Member
    ok so, since my muscles weigh more, ill just cut them out. bc ive been on the treadmill for 2 weeks and im pretty sure that ive gained like 10lb or more of muscle. So ive stopped exercising all together.

    and im going to take the raspberry AND coffee extracts so i should be good. if not ill bring some HcG and Adipex. (cross my fingers for no stroke)

    but im keeping the boobs!
  • Lammo_UK
    Lammo_UK Posts: 61
    Definitely keep the boobs, just make sure when you are sawing through the chosen limb you are braless as the swinging momentum will burn calories I think! The law of physics states that the bigger the boob, the bigger the swing, the more calories burnt...again I think!!
  • KatieLouWho19
    KatieLouWho19 Posts: 776 Member
    This made my morning... LOL at the person trying to get all serious and technical on you about your metabolism. I say the cutting muscles idea is perfect. I like my cals personally.
  • HunterKiller_deleted
    HunterKiller_deleted Posts: 458
    lol just chop off a leg. Then at least you can hop to the bar and still have both hands available for drinking :)
  • HunterKiller_deleted
    HunterKiller_deleted Posts: 458
    ...and get legless!
  • smanning1982
    smanning1982 Posts: 210 Member
    You don't want to chop off a limb, it's too noticeable. What you should do is remove body parts that is not as noticeable. Maybe cut off the butt cheeks and toes. You can also remove any organs that you won't be needing. After that, juice cleanse for several days and you'll be good to go!
  • honsi
    honsi Posts: 210 Member
    First you need to weigh each limb, it might be you have to chop off a leg and maybe a bit of an arm or something to get the exact weight loss. But maybe the doctors can keep the limbs on ice till after your holiday and then re attach them? its a win win situation. Esp as the limbs would have withered a bit in that time so you will weigh less than before your holiday. You could also remove some organs, you only need one kidney and lung right and not all of your liver, you could donate some blood too. It all adds up. I hope that helps.
  • RoseTears143
    RoseTears143 Posts: 1,121 Member
    You don't want to chop off a limb, it's too noticeable. What you should do is remove body parts that is not as noticeable. Maybe cut off the butt cheeks and toes. You can also remove any organs that you won't be needing. After that, juice cleanse for several days and you'll be good to go!

    I agree with removing the non-noticeable body parts and organs. You can remove your appendix, gallbladder, hmm..what else...Oh! your liver and kidneys, it's not like those do anything. You can just detox with superfoods and detox beverages for the rest of your life. I'm sure there are other useless organs in there that can come out. You'll drop those lbs in NO time!!
  • Crimson_Fire
    Crimson_Fire Posts: 2,504 Member
    Enemas. ...lots and lots of enemas.
  • Fit4_Life
    Fit4_Life Posts: 828 Member
    Along with 1 kidney and gallbadder. :laugh:
  • SunnyDuckling
    SunnyDuckling Posts: 204 Member
    HAHAHA! :laugh: Your OP was exactly how I was going to reply!

    ETA: I just read through all the posts. HI-Larious!!!
  • Feebarella
    Feebarella Posts: 23 Member
    Tee hee, fantastic post and replies, made me laugh! What about the folk with no sense of humor though!!! Numpty's
  • sbarella
    sbarella Posts: 713 Member
    Are you insane? Just eat 300 calories a day and you'll be fine. Unless you can't sustain that huge amount of food, in that case drop to 199.

    ^ no. this is broscience.

    there is nothing magical about 199 calories. :angry:
    I tried 200 but I want to stay on the safe side, just in case I'm overestimating my celery intake. Those things can add up. It works for me!!!
  • honsi
    honsi Posts: 210 Member
    I once contracted Amoebic Dysentery and lost 56 lbs in two weeks you could do that plus swallow a tape worm to speed things , that way you could keep all your body parts and still look super skinny and therefore hot.
  • Woodspoon
    Woodspoon Posts: 223 Member
    I would suggest a full disemboweling.
    You'll maintain a nice symmetrical look with both arms and legs intact, balance won't be a problem and who needs internal organs anyway?
    With the added bonus that after a full disemboweling and organ removal any food you do eat will just pass straight through undigested, so no weight gain there either.
  • KatieLouWho19
    KatieLouWho19 Posts: 776 Member
    I once contracted Amoebic Dysentery and lost 56 lbs in two weeks you could do that plus swallow a tape worm to speed things , that way you could keep all your body parts and still look super skinny and therefore hot.

    This one. Tape worm diet is LEGIT.
  • honsi
    honsi Posts: 210 Member
    I once contracted Amoebic Dysentery and lost 56 lbs in two weeks you could do that plus swallow a tape worm to speed things , that way you could keep all your body parts and still look super skinny and therefore hot.

    This one. Tape worm diet is LEGIT.
    Yes I think I should market this " Loose weight Now! and still eat what you want! Perfect for the impatient dieter" it can be in pill form. Parasitic illness is really an untapped resource in the slimming industry.
  • Mello_Rello
    Mello_Rello Posts: 421 Member
    Starving yourself, drinking green tea, sipping Mag Citrate all day, and 12 hours of cardio for the next few days should get you to your goal.

    (This is a joke, please do NOT do this, just saying.)
  • somefitsomefat
    somefitsomefat Posts: 445 Member
    Depends. How much walking will you be doing on the trip?
  • kr1stadee
    kr1stadee Posts: 1,774 Member
    Sunlight diet!!
  • baiye1
    baiye1 Posts: 27 Member
    Starving yourself, drinking green tea, sipping Mag Citrate all day, and 12 hours of cardio for the next few days should get you to your goal.

    (This is a joke, please do NOT do this, just saying.)


    OMG.... removing a limb or 4 would be less painful than sipping Mag Citrate! LOL

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