Need to lose weight FAST!

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2

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  • Feebarella
    Feebarella Posts: 23 Member
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    Tee hee, fantastic post and replies, made me laugh! What about the folk with no sense of humor though!!! Numpty's
  • sbarella
    sbarella Posts: 713 Member
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    Are you insane? Just eat 300 calories a day and you'll be fine. Unless you can't sustain that huge amount of food, in that case drop to 199.

    ^ no. this is broscience.

    there is nothing magical about 199 calories. :angry:
    I tried 200 but I want to stay on the safe side, just in case I'm overestimating my celery intake. Those things can add up. It works for me!!!
  • honsi
    honsi Posts: 210 Member
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    I once contracted Amoebic Dysentery and lost 56 lbs in two weeks you could do that plus swallow a tape worm to speed things , that way you could keep all your body parts and still look super skinny and therefore hot.
  • Woodspoon
    Woodspoon Posts: 223 Member
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    I would suggest a full disemboweling.
    You'll maintain a nice symmetrical look with both arms and legs intact, balance won't be a problem and who needs internal organs anyway?
    With the added bonus that after a full disemboweling and organ removal any food you do eat will just pass straight through undigested, so no weight gain there either.
  • KatieLouWho19
    KatieLouWho19 Posts: 776 Member
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    I once contracted Amoebic Dysentery and lost 56 lbs in two weeks you could do that plus swallow a tape worm to speed things , that way you could keep all your body parts and still look super skinny and therefore hot.

    This one. Tape worm diet is LEGIT.
  • honsi
    honsi Posts: 210 Member
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    I once contracted Amoebic Dysentery and lost 56 lbs in two weeks you could do that plus swallow a tape worm to speed things , that way you could keep all your body parts and still look super skinny and therefore hot.

    This one. Tape worm diet is LEGIT.
    Yes I think I should market this " Loose weight Now! and still eat what you want! Perfect for the impatient dieter" it can be in pill form. Parasitic illness is really an untapped resource in the slimming industry.
  • Mello_Rello
    Mello_Rello Posts: 421 Member
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    Starving yourself, drinking green tea, sipping Mag Citrate all day, and 12 hours of cardio for the next few days should get you to your goal.

    (This is a joke, please do NOT do this, just saying.)
  • somefitsomefat
    somefitsomefat Posts: 445 Member
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    Depends. How much walking will you be doing on the trip?
  • kr1stadee
    kr1stadee Posts: 1,774 Member
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    Sunlight diet!!
  • baiye1
    baiye1 Posts: 27 Member
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    Starving yourself, drinking green tea, sipping Mag Citrate all day, and 12 hours of cardio for the next few days should get you to your goal.

    (This is a joke, please do NOT do this, just saying.)


    OMG.... removing a limb or 4 would be less painful than sipping Mag Citrate! LOL
  • Lammo_UK
    Lammo_UK Posts: 61
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    How much do teeth weigh...? Whip em out! If you are a bit buck toothed they would weigh more...result.

    Finger & Toe Nails

    1 x Kidney 1 x Lung (bit dodgy this one), tonsils, half a leg & one boob...I reckon that might just get you there!

    Oh yeah shave your head & body hair off that will allow for extra calories consumed in the first 4.5 minutes in the bar...
  • Elizabeth_Darcy
    Elizabeth_Darcy Posts: 44 Member
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    You can also get by with only half a liver. But if you're going to be doing a lot of drinking on vacation, you may want to consider just removing the whole thing. There's this doctor in New York that will sell your unwanted organs on the black market for you, so you can get some spending money as well. Win-win!
  • Lammo_UK
    Lammo_UK Posts: 61
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    You can also get by with only half a liver. But if you're going to be doing a lot of drinking on vacation, you may want to consider just removing the whole thing. There's this doctor in New York that will sell your unwanted organs on the black market for you, so you can get some spending money as well. Win-win!

    Mint... Money making & losing weight...more money for booze...

    Elizabeth you are a genius...

    I live in the UK, does the Dr in NY know anybody local who can do it for me? Any money I may make on getting rid of my bits that I 'obviously' don't need will be lost on the cost of the flights etc?
  • fheppy
    fheppy Posts: 64 Member
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    lol
  • fheppy
    fheppy Posts: 64 Member
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    Do you lift weights? That would change the overall composition of the limb you are considering removing. Muscle weighs more then fat you know, i read that on the forums so i know it's true.

    hahaha :D
  • fheppy
    fheppy Posts: 64 Member
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    Consider renting 2 pitbull/rottweiler dogs to sculpt your body the way you want it. just tell them a bit of my arms/thighs/belly and you will have the perfect body.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,791 Member
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    Don't do anything that drastic. Just burn 47,000 calories a day and don't eat the exercise calories back. You'll be fine
  • canadafats
    canadafats Posts: 52
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    Removing your *kitten* is a great quick-fix weight loss option. If you are interested, I've got a guy.
  • angelzxy321
    angelzxy321 Posts: 1,019 Member
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    I've done part of each thigh from time to time. It ALWAYS work. You can even lose a good 50 pounds that way. Depending on the size of your thighs of course...
  • srr728
    srr728 Posts: 549 Member
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    i def have *kitten* to spare lol

    and i figured no walking bc i dont want to build that heavvvvy muscles im renting a scooter so i can run into whiny kids and knock em down and it has cup holders

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