Anorexia recovery
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Fenrissa
Posts: 116
When I was 15, I started to feel self conscious about my body. I compared it to other girls I went to school with and felt insecure. I weighed 140lbs at the time and decided that I was going to lose weight in an effort to get healthier and feel more confident. At first, it started innocently. I cut out pop and replaced it with water, changed my snacks from chocolate to fruit, educating myself on calories/calorie counting, and getting a gym membership. After doing that, I had managed to lose a couple pounds and felt great. I was proud of the changes I was making and I felt more confident.
That was short-lived, though. I became obsessed with counting calories, looking at thinspo, fasting, and over-exercising. During that time, a close family member passed away and things kept getting worse. I lost 50lbs within a short period of time, leaving me weighing only 90lbs at 5'5". I was then diagnosed with anorexia. My family quickly intervened and with their support, I had started gaining weight. I maintained a healthy weight and felt free of disordered thoughts and behaviors for a brief period of time.
Last Summer, I relapsed and ended up at my lowest weight of 80lbs. I was always cold, in pain, tired, and depressed. My anorexia had it's strongest grip on me for the 7 months I was maintaining that weight. After coming home from a friend's house one day, I collapsed and had to be taken to the emergency room. I was told that with the condition my health was in, it was possible for me to be dead within the next few weeks. So, I had to stay at the hospital for a couple weeks to gain some weight and be monitored during refeeding because I was at high risk for refeeding syndrome. I was terrified and against the idea of recovery at the time. But soon, I came to tolerate it. Then I came to accept it and finally, to welcome it with open arms. I was done with letting anorexia rule my life for any longer.
Now, I'm back at home and taking recovery day by day. I have a long way to go but I'm determined to get through this. It's been a rough and long journey but it's been the best thing I have ever decided to do for myself. Since gaining 16lbs, I am no longer cold and shivering all the time, my bones don't ache nearly as much, I have energy to go out, I'm gaining confidence, I don't view food as my enemy anymore, I'm getting my feminine figure back, my mind feels clear, and most of all.. I'm happy again.
That was short-lived, though. I became obsessed with counting calories, looking at thinspo, fasting, and over-exercising. During that time, a close family member passed away and things kept getting worse. I lost 50lbs within a short period of time, leaving me weighing only 90lbs at 5'5". I was then diagnosed with anorexia. My family quickly intervened and with their support, I had started gaining weight. I maintained a healthy weight and felt free of disordered thoughts and behaviors for a brief period of time.
Last Summer, I relapsed and ended up at my lowest weight of 80lbs. I was always cold, in pain, tired, and depressed. My anorexia had it's strongest grip on me for the 7 months I was maintaining that weight. After coming home from a friend's house one day, I collapsed and had to be taken to the emergency room. I was told that with the condition my health was in, it was possible for me to be dead within the next few weeks. So, I had to stay at the hospital for a couple weeks to gain some weight and be monitored during refeeding because I was at high risk for refeeding syndrome. I was terrified and against the idea of recovery at the time. But soon, I came to tolerate it. Then I came to accept it and finally, to welcome it with open arms. I was done with letting anorexia rule my life for any longer.
Now, I'm back at home and taking recovery day by day. I have a long way to go but I'm determined to get through this. It's been a rough and long journey but it's been the best thing I have ever decided to do for myself. Since gaining 16lbs, I am no longer cold and shivering all the time, my bones don't ache nearly as much, I have energy to go out, I'm gaining confidence, I don't view food as my enemy anymore, I'm getting my feminine figure back, my mind feels clear, and most of all.. I'm happy again.
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Replies
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Fenrissa, I've never had anorexia, but I used to suffer from disordered eating, so I understand (as much as one can) how all-encompassing food issues can be.
Good for you for working at recovery, and at having a healthy body weight.0 -
That's wonderful! You've come down a long road and I'm glad you're still here to make this post.0
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Hardest part for any recovery from dysfunctional eating is attitude. You are doing a good job with that attitude,,,,,hold on to it. Congratulations.0
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Congratulations on finding the path to a healthier you! Wishing you all the best on your journey.0
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Good for you! Recovery, I'm sure is not easy. I suspect it's very much like an addiction and you have to take it one day at a time.
Best of luck to you.0 -
Congratulations! I'm sure that it has been and probably will be a long road, but I'm so glad that you are walking it with the support of your friends and family. Good luck and be strong :flowerforyou:0
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Thanks everyone!!0
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Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are an inspiration and a strong, determined person. I'm glad to hear you are healthy and getting out there enjoying life. All the best xox0
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*claps*
Good job girl! I myself have seen that road and it isn't pretty. Life is much better on this road, you are beautiful, you are strong, you already know you've got this.0 -
Major props for your recovery! Looks like your doing great! Keep it up!0
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Congrats on your recovery. My prayers are with you. Please feel free to ad me as a friend if you like.0
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You're brave to share your story and I wish you the best in the future!!! Well done for making it this far and making a stand against anorexia0
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Going through this now. Ugh I almost DONT want to get better though. I dont know where I stand. I just want to feel ok.0
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I can only imagine how difficult it is to recover from an illness like this. Always remember that you are a worthy person who deserves to live a long, healthy and happy life!0
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Congratulations on your recovery. Continue to remind yourself how worth it you are! All the best in your continued success0
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Well done! Please always be happy! :flowerforyou:0
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Awesome job!
Message me if you ever want to talk. I've been through recovery a few times and am still trying to put myself back together too0 -
im so glad that you are better! it sounds like you went through a lot...keep positive. like you are doing. glad everything is ok now.0
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Good for you. I truly wish you the best.0
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You're all SO sweet, thanks for the support and encouraging words. :flowerforyou:0
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