Emotional Eating...has anyone actually overcome it?

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  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
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    Another tool you can use is to come up with a list of other comforting activities that you can do when you feel like eating (things like bubble baths or whatever makes you feel cared for). Write them down and put the list on your refrigerator so you remember to "check in" with yourself and figure out if you're really hungry or if you just need some comfort. For me, it's important to have a concrete list that I can read -- if I trust myself to just keep it in my head, I won't remember anything when I actually need it.
  • wonderwoman234
    wonderwoman234 Posts: 551 Member
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    OP - you sound like me. I did therapy and even a women's eating disorder support group for my emotional eating (and dealing with disappointing parents).

    I think I got to a point where it just struck me right in the face why I was eating.....and realizing that the eating wasn't working to make me feel any better. I think I fooled myself into thinking that the food was working and I was confronted with the fact that it wasn't (I won't go into it publicly but there was a precipitating event).

    Anyway, I think I have replaced eating food to cope with going to the gym to cope. I replaced one behavior with another.

    I LOVE how I feel working out. I love feeling in control of what I eat. I stared heavy weight lifting and it has given me a ton of confidence, so much so that I have been approached at the gym multiple times by younger, attractive men (I am 46 and still have pounds to lose). The lifting has given me focus. The good nutrition (making sure I"m getting enough of the right things) is also a focus.

    People use food because it feels like ti works. I remember feeling awful at the thought of not getting to overeat. It actually felt like a loss when I contemplated it. But when I was ready it didn't feel that way. It felt like the eating was an albatross around my neck that I wanted to shed.

    It's been 4 months with no emotional eating. I feel great! I still have treats when I want them, but cakes and other sweets don't hold the same allure for me any more. A few days ago, I made a tuna casserole, something I could never manage to eat in moderation in the past. Well, I had one portion and that was it. It felt good to be able to do that.

    I wish I had a formula for overcoming it, but what worked for me was being forced to confront why I was eating, forced to realize it didn't help, and then getting pissed and motivated.

    Good luck to you!
  • bobbimrn
    bobbimrn Posts: 74 Member
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    So many true thoughts here!
  • cchew686
    cchew686 Posts: 108
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    I have overcome emotional eating buy replacing it with sex :bigsmile:

    I notice you typed "buy" instead of "by." Are you trying to tell us something?
  • Kitship
    Kitship Posts: 579 Member
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    I'm not perfect, let's just start there. But I'm better than I used to be. It's hard to overcome something that's such a basic need. And it's a terrible vicious cycle of guilt.

    For me, and this is just me:

    Step 1. Never, ever, ever be actually hungry. I in no way ever trust my body to tell me when I'm hungry. My body lies and my brain lies. I know I should eat by looking at the clock. And not by listening to my stomach or brain. If I ate 200 calories at noon, in no way do I actually need food before 2 pm. If I eat 1,000 calories at 8 am, in no way do I "need" any more food until 6 pm. If I've just eaten, and yet have an urge to eat, I sit down and look at my watch and figure out whether I'm ACTUALLY hungry or whether it's an emotional need I'm filling.

    Step 2. Don't let a "treat" turn into an out of control binge. In conjunction with the above, by never actually ever being hungry, if something stressful happens, I'm much less likely to BINGE on food if I choose to treat my sadness with food. Like, I might eat more than 1 serving of chocolate, but if I'm not also fighting actual hunger at the same time I'm facing an emotional need, then I'm way, way less likely to go overboard and binge on the food I turn to.

    Step 3. Never, ever, ever eat until I'm full. Because I'm simply never full.

    Step 4. Treat stress with different coping skills. There's all kinds of coping skills you can apply when you're stressed. Food isn't the only one. It takes practice for some things to become habit, instead of reaching for food. Things that help me: walking, taking a bath, calling a friend, having a glass of wine, or my favorite: making some kind of overly complex meal, maybe something like homemade pizza using crust made 100% from scratch with yeast and sauce I make by starting with boiling and peeling whole tomatoes. Grinding the cheese from a block. Sauteeing the onions before putting them on the pizza. Etc. By the time I actually EAT the pizza (which may be 1000 calories, it's true) I've already dealt with the emotional stress, since it took me 3 hours to make the meal, and whatever it was I was sad about is long forgotten

    So I don't know if I've "overcome" emotional eating 100%. But I sure do it less.


    All great advice! I thought I was the only one that did #4! :flowerforyou:
  • aeb09
    aeb09 Posts: 424 Member
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    I used to emotionally eat / binge. I haven't in six weeks when I decided to change my life. I haven't dealt with the issues that caused me to binge, but I made myself stop. I'd binge if I was sad or bored or happy or as a reward. It was my coping mechanism, for sure. My depression has been really, really terrible the last year and I'd try to fill the void with food.

    Researching health, nutrition, recipes and reading MFP has replaced that. Doing research about my new lifestyle is the first thing I've been interested in, and it's how I spend a lot of my free time now. I've also finally changed my eating habits for myself, for my health and for my future (the right reasons, for me) rather than to please my parents or a doctor or anything else. Since my last binge, work has been very stressful, my family's 18 year old dog died, my dad got bad health news and my depression has still be very bad. Normally I'd binge, but I've been determined to stick to my goals and haven't felt any temptation.

    I hope you're able to overcome it. Remember it's okay if you slip up. Before eating try to think about why you want to eat something (truly hungry or to fill a void) and let yourself actually feel your emotions instead of masking them with food.
  • FraggleRockerFitnessLover
    FraggleRockerFitnessLover Posts: 307
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    I have overcome emotional eating buy replacing it with sex :bigsmile:

    I notice you typed "buy" instead of "by." Are you trying to tell us something?

    OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahaha! Total *kitten* Typo!!! LMFAO!
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
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    Going to get a bit deep here, I am struggling with emotional eating right now. I've bought books and been in therapy but man I just cannot seem to let go of it. I've been disappointed a lot by people in life on an emotional level (mostly parents) and its hard for me to let go of the constant comfort and guaranteed comfort food gives me. Has anyone actually been able to triumph over it by digging deep down and letting go of what emotional purpose food served for you or do you just do your best with counting and struggle with it? What did you do and what worked for you?
    I did! :bigsmile:

    It took a lot of time, some therapy, and learning to love myself. I also worked hard to change my relationship with food. Now, there are no good or bad foods, now low calories, no more of that cheating diet mentality, and I actually feel...well....sorta normal. :smile:
  • lynn1982
    lynn1982 Posts: 1,439 Member
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    Not 100%, but I'd say I've overcome it about 90%. It took A LOT of time. The biggest thing that helped me was writing down how I was feeling in a journal whenever I felt the urge to comfort eat. It was hard at first and I definitely gave in a lot at the beginning. But, since I was also focused on healthy eating (I know people say on here that you can eat whatever you want, etc. and while that is true, if there's an emotional aspect to something then you might need to cut it out for a while), when I did comfort eat, the food no longer tasted the same and didn't have the same pleasurable/comforting effect. Not sure if that makes sense. I still slip up every now and then, but it's not to the same extent. Case in point: I had a TERRIBLE day at work yesterday. I bought a box of klondike ice cream bars and only ate one. Previously I would have eaten the entire box. Technically I was still emotionally eating, but the end result was not as bad.

    I think you know though that you need to address what is causing you to eat emotionally. The issue is not food...
  • SyntonicGarden
    SyntonicGarden Posts: 944 Member
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    This post got me thinking... I was initially going to say that "Oh, yes. I've overcome it." I now keep healthier options in the house. I chew gum and I drink green team.

    Then I realized that the moment I DO have crap in the house and everything hits the fan, that no, I haven't overcome it. If anything, I've gotten better at avoiding the issue.
  • amunet07
    amunet07 Posts: 1,245 Member
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    bump for later
  • mistiblake08
    mistiblake08 Posts: 80 Member
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    I have. I've just been working at being better and not indulging in the high calorie foods that I absolutely love. I LOVE Cajun boiled peanuts, but even the smallest cup is way high in sodium and calories. I've had to drop it. I have picked up protein bars in place so that I can get that little extra kick in the day, especially while I'm at work. So far it's helping. I had one bad day and that was last Sunday, but I've more than made up for it this week.

    Something else that helps me is the dry erase board I have hanging on my fridge. I see it daily, morning and night. I drew out all of the things that motivate me to be better: my dogs, my graduation from college next month, size 6 pants, etc. I really helps to push me in the right direction each day. Also, I find that when upset, turning to the Internet or working on my novel in progress is very soothing and helps me to calm down.
  • DucklingtoSwan
    DucklingtoSwan Posts: 169 Member
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    Food is my best lover and my worst enemy... but as others have mentioned here, holding myself accountable is making a big difference. I may never fully get over the urges to turn to unreasonable amounts food in times of crisis (or even in happy times of extreme excitement) but I am very slowly learning to rise above them. Might take a long time of hyper-vigilance, and some falls (had a bad few days last week), but seeing success on the scale and finally wanting, REALLY wanting, to take better care of myself as opposed to the neglect and self-loathing are very powerful motivators.

    edited to add: Everyone, THANK you so much for posting your stories. It gives me hope that my efforts will NOT be in vain if I don't give up and let the occasional slips turn into avalanches.
  • grrrlwonder
    grrrlwonder Posts: 59 Member
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    I hope I can one day say that I have overcome this, but for right now I can just say I've gotten much better. Like many have mentioned, being really aggressive about tracking my food here helps a lot. When I know I have to own up to what I eat, before I even open the package, I tend to calm it down a bit. (Although, three weeks ago, I sure did sit down and eat 7 servings of trader joes gluten-free chocolate chip cookies. Why you ask? Because I was depressed I wasn't losing enough weight :face palm:) Measuring out my food and making sure I'm eating the correct serving sizes, has also helped. Now I know what a binge looks like when I put it on my plate. I also try to only buy my comfort food in single servings, because, for real, I can and will eat whatever amount of chocolate is put in front of me. If I can't do that, I throw the rest away. It's wasteful, but I know that if I have it in the house-even in the freezer- it will talk to me until I eat it. One of my proudest moments this year was coming home on a Friday, after a long hard week, and prepping a box of brownie mix. I stood in the kitchen, griping to a friend and ate three huge spoonfuls of the batter. I then realized that if I put it in the oven, I was just going to eat the entire pan, so I rinsed it all down the sink. Binge over. I've also started, when I'm stressed out at work, taking a break and walk a few blocks to 7-11 to buy a can of diet coke. Between the exercise, the fresh air, and the sweet carbonation, my stress fades away and I don't end up on the couch late with a pint of ice cream.

    I don't know if any of those will help you, but thanks for posting this thread. It always helps to know we're not alone!
  • Rissyroo513
    Rissyroo513 Posts: 79 Member
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    I'm struggling now. I actually just posted a thread asking for help so thank you, all of you for the stories you posted here. I find that I have a lot of excuses as to why I can't make the change I want to make. I'm starting to realize that I probably don't want it as much as I've been telling myself. OR at least I don't want it as much as I want the pint of Ben and Jerry's AND the medium sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

    I've been working on my therapist with identifying the positive choices and events instead of looking towards the negative. I've nowhere near perfected this skill, but I find that my eating is better on days when I actively look for the good. Below are some of the notes that I have posted around for myself so that there is something to remind me that food shouldn't play the role it has been occupying for me.

    Not everyone around me is supportive of healthier choices (they like having a fluffy buddy), but I do have some people that would support me if I asked them. So ask!
    I like healthy food (granted it's not as good as ice cream, but it's still yummy), so there is no excuse as to why I don't always eat it and I can have more of it.
    I don't like how I feel after I binge on an entire box of cereal (an unfortunate breakfast choice), I love how I feel after a workout followed by a big healthy meal that I can eat entirely guilt free.

    I don't think there will ever be a point in any of our lives where we can say that we are fully recovered from emotional eating or binge eating or any kind of addiction. It will always be a little bit of a battle, but as with anything you get better with practice. I'm told you eventually adjust to your new normal and although there may always be temptations, you build skills to make better choices.

    Now to go and listen to myself...

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