In denial, need brutal honesty

Bookworm8290 · April 2014

I am in denial about my health and have tried lots of things to really knock it in to me how bad things are but it's just not registering. All the people in my life don't know what is going on with me and I don't want to turn to them.
I need to hit ROCK BOTTOM. I would like some brutal honesty please to wake me up and see what I have done to myself.

I am 32 years old, 5'8 and weigh 100kg (220lbs). I have been told that I have Type 2 diabetes by my doctor but I don't care. I have had gestational diabetes with my 2 pregnancies so I know what diabetes is all about and I refuse to accept that I have Type 2 now. I had my gall bladder removed at 26 years old because I had obviously eaten so much crap in those years (it does also run in my family though). A couple of years ago I saw a personal trainer twice a week and increased my fitness levels but couldn't get the food under control and never ended up losing weight during that time. I have now been seeing another better trainer for the last 7 months, starting at 2 times per week and for the last 3 months, 4 times a week. Again, improved fitness and muscles. Over that time I lost 5 kg but have put most of it back on, again because I cant get the eating right.

I want to lose weight for a variety of reasons including overall health, self esteem, easier to play with my kids etc. I also cant stop shoving food in my mouth and 4 intense workouts a week isn't enough to make the weight disappear whilst doing this.
I am destroying myself and I want to change but I am in denial. Could someone please say to me what I need to hear instead of what I want to hear. I don't respond to motivational quotes but I do respond to brutal honesty, truth, the no bull**** approach, tell me like it is etc. Please don't spare my feelings. I need to hear this. Please. I don't have anyone else I can turn to.

JenniCali1000 · April 2014

The only thing I'm going to tell you is that YOU will change when YOU are ready. There is nothing anyone can say to you that will suddenly make you want to change. You say you are at rock bottom, but I don't believe it. If you were, you'd already be making the changes you need to make.

That said, I wish you the best! Good luck to you in your journey!

harrypotter22 · April 2014

You are still young and you have plenty of time to lose weight to be honest. It's true losing weight is not a quick fix, well it can be if you crash diet but prepare to yo yo diet for the rest of your life. lol jk but you will feel sooo much happier with yourself and your body if you just start living healthily. as far as shoving food in your mouth- don't have low caloric goals. a normal person eats 2,000 calories a day to maintain their weight. (no specifics/tdee/ technical bs lol jk. but a normal person ok)
also you are exercising which is great! even if you were to just keep on logging your intake on MFP for a month and your goals were manageable- like 2,000 calories or less a day and lets say one or two days a week you ate 2,500. well you wouldn't be in trouble or anything because you are doing intense workouts.
you would look more toned and you could probably lower your intake gradually

also take it easy and don't beat yourself up. give yourself time to lose the weight and you'll get there.

Rocbola · April 2014

I'm a no BS type of guy. Feel free to friend me.

If you want to hear what you need to hear, and not what you want to hear, check out a book called "The Pleasure Trap" by Dr. Alan Goldhamer and Dr. Doug Lisle. That was my favorite book so far in my quest for better health.

craftywitch_63 · April 2014

The only thing I'm going to tell you is that YOU will change when YOU are ready. There is nothing anyone can say to you that will suddenly make you want to change. You say you are at rock bottom, but I don't believe it. If you were, you'd already be making the changes you need to make.

That said, I wish you the best! Good luck to you in your journey!

^^^This

jadethief · April 2014

'Find a good therapist and resolve those psychological issues you have. Learn to love yourself.

missiontofitness · April 2014

Echoing advice said above.

Also, Type 2 diabetes can be dangerous if left untreated or not treated properly. You need to accept that you have it and start taking care of yourself.
If you're refusing to acknowledge your health problems and the dangers they pose, especially with two children, you should now. If you can't change for yourself, think of your children, and have them be your motivation. They need their mom for a good long time!

Loralrose · April 2014

You're only 32 years old and already you have type 2 diabetes and no gallbladder? What the heck is it gonna take before you wake up and realize what you're doing to yourself? The only treatment for diabetes is for YOU to clean up your act and start taking care of your body. Both my mom and dad have it. My mom started taking care of herself and is doing well now, hardly needs medication and she's in the best shape of her life. My dad didn't, and I'd give it a few more years before he's hospitalized or needs something amputated. They can give you pills, they can give you insulin, but that stuff won't work forever unless you stop doing whatever it is that made you sick in the first place. Not to mention the thousand other problems you're speeding towards that just haven't shown up quite yet.

"It runs in the family" is not an excuse. It's the reason you need to do EVEN BETTER than everyone else, unless your goal in life is to end up sick and miserable.

eldazzio · April 2014

As somebody already said, YOU need to be ready. I tried to motivate myself when I got married, didn't work. Tried again when my son was born, didn't work and kept gaining. One morning out of nowhere I just woke up motivated and have lost over 50lbs so far. Not really helpful to you I realise, but unless you are 100% mentally ready it will be a struggle.

Feel free to add me if you like, best of luck! :drinker:

jennifries227 · April 2014

My uncle refused to take care of his diabetes and it literally killed him. He lost all sensation in his legs. He had multiple strokes. And he finally died of liver failure at age 59. Do you really want to live only 30 more years?

My aunt (same side of the family, I've got great genes) refused to go to the doctor for years despite having abscesses all over her legs. She tried treating them with antibiotic ointment, but eventually had to be rushed to the hospital when her sister came home from work and found her passed out on the sofa, unresponsive. She was in renal failure (luckily reversed with medication) and has MRSA in her legs. She didn't even know she was diabetic.

A few days ago another uncle was found by his wife passed out on the bathroom floor. His blood sugar was well over 600 and he was in a diabetic coma. Once he came to in the hospital they discovered he'd also had a stroke. He's also had multiple seizures since.

I have type 2 diabetes, but as soon as I was told, I acted. I changed my diet, lost some weight, and took my medication exactly as prescribed. Now my average fasting blood sugar is about 85, and my HA1C has been 5.6 consistantly for the last two years.
I've unfortunately gained back most of that weight, but my diabetes is still under amazing control.
I started my own journey to better health because I was diagnosed with asthma last spring. In the fall I was sick for nearly three straight months. MONTHS. Much of it was due to the asthma, of course, but it was complicated by the fact that I was up to 240 pounds and my body was having trouble functioning with the fat, diabetes, AND the asthma.

That's what scared me straight. Maybe it will help you, but more likely you're going to have to find your own. You know you have a problem, now it's time for you to find a reason to solve that problem.

Edit for a typo.

lacurandera1 · April 2014

I am in denial about my health and have tried lots of things to really knock it in to me how bad things are but it's just not registering. All the people in my life don't know what is going on with me and I don't want to turn to them.
I need to hit ROCK BOTTOM. I would like some brutal honesty please to wake me up and see what I have done to myself.

I am 32 years old, 5'8 and weigh 100kg (220lbs). I have been told that I have Type 2 diabetes by my doctor but I don't care. I have had gestational diabetes with my 2 pregnancies so I know what diabetes is all about and I refuse to accept that I have Type 2 now. I had my gall bladder removed at 26 years old because I had obviously eaten so much crap in those years (it does also run in my family though). A couple of years ago I saw a personal trainer twice a week and increased my fitness levels but couldn't get the food under control and never ended up losing weight during that time. I have now been seeing another better trainer for the last 7 months, starting at 2 times per week and for the last 3 months, 4 times a week. Again, improved fitness and muscles. Over that time I lost 5 kg but have put most of it back on, again because I cant get the eating right.

I want to lose weight for a variety of reasons including overall health, self esteem, easier to play with my kids etc. I also cant stop shoving food in my mouth and 4 intense workouts a week isn't enough to make the weight disappear whilst doing this.
I am destroying myself and I want to change but I am in denial. Could someone please say to me what I need to hear instead of what I want to hear. I don't respond to motivational quotes but I do respond to brutal honesty, truth, the no bull**** approach, tell me like it is etc. Please don't spare my feelings. I need to hear this. Please. I don't have anyone else I can turn to.

What makes you think strangers can say magic words that will make you care enough to do something about your situation?

You'll do it or you won't. No one here is going to be cooking your dinner or telling you to stop at one serving of cake/ice cream/potato chips/etc. No one here is going to be getting you up in the morning to walk or run before you go to work.

You won't be very successful until you're accountable for everything (including your own motivation).

angelique_redhead · April 2014

I knew a woman that was the mother of a friend with type 2 diabetes. She was in denial too. She died blind and missing both legs due to amputation. My sister was in denial about her diabetes and blood sugars. She had to have laser surgery due to diabetic retinopathy. Please get the help you need. It's a nasty way to die. *HUGS*

RunMyOregonBunsOff · April 2014

It doesn't sound like denial so much as not really caring about yourself and likely a compulsive eating disorder. See a psychologist to help with that. Do it for your kids because if you don't, they won't have you around (or at least not in a functional capacity) to even see them through high school.

143tobe · April 2014

Just over a year ago I weighed 218lbs, and at 5'4", it was unbearable. 5 years before that my average was about 165lbs. Not a great weight but I was very active and healthier than I was at 218, that's for sure. Within the past 5 years I went through two pregnancies, the last one with gestational diabetes. I ate very healthy for the remainder of my second pregnancy, but once the kid was out, I was back to my old eating. Sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar (with lots of fat in the form of baked goods of course). It seemed like I just couldn't stop eating sugar. I really felt out of control. And since I had a glucose monitor, and my blood always checked out fine, I did not have that extra incentive to just stop.

When I got up to 205lbs with my first pregnancy, it was the heaviest I had ever been in my whole life, and my body did NOT like it. I just felt so out of breath and my heart was always feeling weird with strange palpitations. I was scared. It scared me. Within weeks of me giving birth I was doing the elliptical machine 30 minutes a day 5 days a week, but after a month of this I had felt no better, my weight had not budged, and the exercises left me feeling weak and tired with no energy left for the rest of my day. I wish that I had changed my plan to do maybe 15 minutes a day, or for 3 times a week, but instead, with much frustration, I quit.

During this time I was so afraid of having a heart attack. Although my heart did finally seem to catch up to my unhealthy body, it seemed stronger and the odd palpitations stopped, I still knew that I was putting myself at risk and it was only a matter of time before something broke. I WANTED to make a chance once and for all, but no matter how many good starts I had, I was back to old habits within weeks. It finally took someone else's health scare, to scare ME straight.

Last year I was 36 and my brother in law had just turned 40. He is such a great guy. One of those people who just makes everyone feel welcome and at ease. I could not ever imagine him being upset or cranky, or even stressed. Well I guess he was. When I returned from a trip I was told that he had had a heart attack. It stunned me, although at the moment it also was not a complete shock. He was probably about 80lbs overweight, but the fact that it was HIM was in itself shocking. He is doing really good now and has made a lot of changes, His heart attack was just the wake-up call that I needed. He didn't have any kids, but I do. The reality that in just 4 years (or even before!) that that could be me, that my young boys could possibly one day soon be trying to deal with losing their MOTHER...well, that did it for me. Within months of my brother-in-law's heart attack I was finally making changes that would slowly but eventually stick. One year later I am 30lbs lighter, with still a long way to go, but the fact is I am a lot better off than I was a year ago.

I know that my story will probably not be personal enough to affect you or to inspire you to make changes, but I hope it does something. I would hate for a tragedy to happen to you or someone you love before you are moved into action. Please feel free to add me if you would like some support. I am no 'guru', but I've been where you've been and I know how hard it is to finally make a change, especially when you've had so many starts or tries that just didn't go anywhere. I know you can do this. And you do too.

LoupGarouTFTs · April 2014

I am in denial about my health and have tried lots of things to really knock it in to me how bad things are but it's just not registering. All the people in my life don't know what is going on with me and I don't want to turn to them.
I need to hit ROCK BOTTOM. I would like some brutal honesty please to wake me up and see what I have done to myself.

I am 32 years old, 5'8 and weigh 100kg (220lbs). I have been told that I have Type 2 diabetes by my doctor but I don't care. I have had gestational diabetes with my 2 pregnancies so I know what diabetes is all about and I refuse to accept that I have Type 2 now. I had my gall bladder removed at 26 years old because I had obviously eaten so much crap in those years (it does also run in my family though). A couple of years ago I saw a personal trainer twice a week and increased my fitness levels but couldn't get the food under control and never ended up losing weight during that time. I have now been seeing another better trainer for the last 7 months, starting at 2 times per week and for the last 3 months, 4 times a week. Again, improved fitness and muscles. Over that time I lost 5 kg but have put most of it back on, again because I cant get the eating right.

I want to lose weight for a variety of reasons including overall health, self esteem, easier to play with my kids etc. I also cant stop shoving food in my mouth and 4 intense workouts a week isn't enough to make the weight disappear whilst doing this.
I am destroying myself and I want to change but I am in denial. Could someone please say to me what I need to hear instead of what I want to hear. I don't respond to motivational quotes but I do respond to brutal honesty, truth, the no bull**** approach, tell me like it is etc. Please don't spare my feelings. I need to hear this. Please. I don't have anyone else I can turn to.

If you don't care, get a jump on things and make your funeral plans now. Seriously. Nevermind the weight issues or playing with children. You are my roommate made over again.

Diabetes ran in her family, too. Her mother, father, brother, and sister all had uncontrolled diabetes because they were in denial or unable to care for themselves. They all died young. Her sister had a limb removed when she was 46 years old. At her final admission she had a blood sugar of over 600. I don't have to tell you what happened.

My roommate had COPD. She smoked. She had diabetes. She ate all manner of junk foods and had a milkshake every night. She never tested her blood glucose. She rarely used her insulin. She never exercised. She had MRSA. She had a stroke and failed to lose weight. She had her gall bladder removed. December 22, 2013 she died of aspiration pneumonia. She was 49 years old.

She had "finished" a dog and wanted to take her to Westminster next year. It will never happen. She's dead.

She had wanted to move closer to the coast and work with a girl who had once been a junior handler for her. It will never happen. She's dead.

She had wanted to get a mobile grooming van and be self-sufficient. It will never happen. She's dead.

She wanted to use the money she was getting from SSI to improve her life and visit friends up North. It will never happen. She's dead.

She wanted to see Sprite have puppies and start them in the show ring next year. There is a particularly handsome stud in WV she wanted to use and she was very excited about it. It will never happen. She's dead.

Nothing will ever happen for her again.

She's dead.

Don't take care of yourself. That's your option. But see that litany above? That's not even a third of the things she will never see, she will never do. I was around to clean up the mess she made of her dogs' lives--thank goodness she never had children. The dogs had no idea why she was not coming home. But your relatives will know. That list up there . . . they will be able to make a list like that for you.

Just a few days ago I learned an acquaintance of mine had died. Her situation was fairly similar to my roommate's and to yours. I cried a bit and asked God, "what is with these people?" It's up to you to figure that out for yourself.

Good luck, God bless . . . but please examine your lack of caring for yourself carefully. The poster who suggested you need to attack the psychological component to your illness before being able to deal with the physical part might be right. Don't wait for someone to say about you, "that will never happen. She's dead."

IIIIISerenityNowIIIII · April 2014

You can either start eating properly and change your lifestyle now or you can kiss your loved ones goodbye and welcome an early death.

mspoopoo · April 2014

Ok here is brutal.

Do you want to see your children grow up?

Do you want them to form the same bad habits that you have and suffer?

Do you want them pushing you around in a wheel chair because you had to have your feet amputated.

Why are you doing this to yourself? Do you need to grow up?

Go to a therapist and get some help if you really want to change this.

jennifer_417 · April 2014

Well, here's the thing: If you don't stop what you are doing, you are going to die. You are going to make your children watch you die a slow, painful death. I know because that is what my mother is doing to me right now. She has been diabetic for years, and has not cared, and not taken care of herself, and now it's too late. She's on dialysis and she's going to die. She will die slowly and early, all from completely preventable causes.

Don't do that to your kids, your wife, yourself.

kelli_panzera · April 2014

Look, I've been where you are. I was diagnosed at 30 with diabetes. I was about 220 lbs and when I went to the Dr my sugar was over 600. My father passed when I was 13 after having both legs amputated a little at a time and finally having a heart attack while on dialysis at the hospital. I loved food, and even with all the meds, I felt like I was being punished and continued to do what I wanted. I tried dieting time after time only to feel deprived and depressed, so I'd quit.
Well, this year was a turning point. In February I finally opened my eyes and took a good look at myself - fat, out of shape, sleeping badly, blood sugar uncontrolled. I had enough. I decided it was time to change my thinking as well as my lifestyle. I'm not deprived of food, though it took me over a month to stop feeling like I was starving. I realized that it was mental, and I was an emotional eater...any emotion, lol. I eat every few hours, a meal or a small snack, and I don't let this crap get the best of me anymore. After about 3 months, the changes you make become more of a habit and it's not so hard. But honestly, if you don't care about yourself, nobody can force you to...but understand that risking your life when you have children around to watch you go downhill is seriously selfish.

Jen800 · April 2014

If you don't make time for your health now, you'll have to make time for sickness later.

Cut the excuses, get your nose to the grindstone and DON'T QUIT.

Now, some kinder words:

Look at every day like a graph: are you going up (increasing your health and vitality) or going down? You are in control of which way the scale tips. There is NO in between.

Find the strength to love your body. Not just in the "stand in the mirror, repeat after me" type of way. Love it with nutritional food that energizes and encourages your body to stay strong and healthy. Love it with exercise, to keep your muscles working and able to support you for years to come. Love it with an occasional splurge because it deserves a treat. But most importantly, DON'T neglect it. You get one shot and if you ruin it, that's it. You get no second chances when it comes to your life.

laurigibson7 · April 2014

Why should I care you dont.

In denial, need brutal honesty

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