Do I have unrealistic health goals?

My friends, family and my boyfriend all tell me that I have unrealistic weight goals. Since joining my fitness pal they tell me that I exercise far too much and eat far too little.

My goal is to be a healthy BMI. I don’t even mind if it is the top end of healthy. Just for once in my life I want to be a healthy weight. I have always been a little chunky. About 5 years ago I was 13 stone and lost two and a half stone with slimming world. I am pleased with what I have achieved, but I would really like to be a healthy weight.

I’m a 33 year old female. I’m 5 foot 1 and 10 stone 1. My BMI is 26, my BMR is 1282 calories and my TDEE is 2211. My goal weight is 9 stone 7. I have lost 4lbs in two weeks since joining my fitness pal. If I continue this way I think I will achieve my goal soon. I would then like to try and maintain.

My starting weight was 10 stone 5 and I have been that weight for at least two years despite trying to diet. I have done slimming world and the 5/2 diet previously but kept on losing and gaining the same few pounds. My diets often get sabotaged by social situations such as meals out or visiting my parents. Then I always gain half a stone at Christmas or after a holiday. I lose it and then get stuck at 10 stone 5 again.

My mum tells me I will never be thin, she says “it’s not in my genetics”. My boyfriend is sick and tired of me being on a diet and it puts a strain on my relationship with him. All he wants to do is go drinking on the weekend with me in the pub or have a big unhealthy meal followed by plenty of beer on a Saturday night. He says I look fine the way I am and he gets moody with me when I don’t want eat and drink what he does on the weekend. I do go to the pub with him but I switch to diet coke after a few beers and I do eat out. I said he can eat and drink what he likes, but I want to choose healthy alternatives. But he doesn’t like it especially if alcohol is involved.

I have my fitness pal set to lose 0.5 lbs a week. It puts me on 1560 calories before exercise. I drink 2 litres of water a day, sometimes more. I am a competitive fencer and I train 3 times a week for two hours at a time. I also go to the gym twice a week and I have two rest days a week, one mid week and one on the weekend. I always eat back my exercise calories, which often puts me at between 1800 and 2000 for the day. On rest days I eat 1560 and I’m not hungry if I make healthy choices. I did go over today however because it was a rest day and I had lunch at my mum and dads house.

My boyfriend was in a bit of a mood with me today because he thinks I haven’t eaten enough! I was trying to eat 1560 today by having a small breakfast and dinner because of the higher calorie lunch I had today. I ended up eating 2000 calories in the end because we had an argument about what I was eating. My boyfriend is very slim and he eats what he wants with out gaining any weight. But there was a time when he was 20 stone and he lost weight by healthy eating during the week and having what he wanted on the weekend. I tried “his way” for 6 months last year and it didn’t work for me. He thinks counting calories is a waste of time and he often complains. I thought since he used to be overweight he would understand but he doesn’t. Sometimes he is very supportive, but this weekend has been miserable. He is very caring sensitive man and supports me in most of my endeavours, but we always argue about food.

Do I have unrealistic health goals?