No Desire/Emotional Eater

this is going to be very blunt.

We can't motivate you. you feel as tho nothing anyone says or does is going to help you yet you are here asking for help...

If you want to lose weight and keep it off it is a simple process....eat in a reasonable calorie deficet and to do that you need to log accurately and to log accurately you need to weigh your solids and measure you liquids..

You need to say no to yourself..as far as food goes...

If you don't want to exercise don't force it...

And here comes the blunt part...if you want it bad enough...you will do it...that is what motivated me...the desire to lose the weight and keep it off. Simple...not easy...but simple.

Without the desire, you are unlikely to succeed without medical intervention. It's unlikely that anyone is going to follow you around and make you put down the food or make you get up and exercise.

But it doesn't have to be an all or nothing thing. Exercise on the days you feel up to it. That is better than never exercising at all.

Eating right most of the time, then having an emotial binge is better than eating a surplus all the time and still having the emotional binge.

Keep fighting. Keep doing what you can, when you can. When you mess up, stop using it as an excuse to give up. Making yourself sick will not make your mother better. It will not make you feel better about your mother's illness. Life is hard sometimes, but ruining your health won't make anything better.

I lost my mom to cancer almost three years ago (I was 27). Hardest thing I've ever been through and reading books and eating is the only thing that came close to comforting me. Just do what you can dear. If you can just make it out for a daily walk your doing good. Nows not the time to be hard on yourself and you'll get it back together when your ready. I was mean or completely indifferent to my husband when I went through my moms dying and death. I just didn't care about anything. He didn't give up on me and I'm doing much better as far as living my life. Distractions help with the grief. Try walking and listening to music you love. Can be therapeutic.

You sound depressed. Have you talked with your doctor? I have a friend who thinks exercise is the answer to depression but it's hard to exercise when you are depressed. Maybe you should also lower your weight loss goal to 10 lbs at a time instead of 65lbs all at once. You do not need to lose the weight to be a better wife, I bet if you asked your husband he would tell you that you are a perfectly fine wife no matter what size you are. Talk to your doctor and maybe also a counselor to deal with your mom's illness. Good luck!

I was going to suggest this but you beat me to it and said it better than I could. I think this is the first thing she should do . . . get checked out for depression. :happy:

1st of all contrats on running a half marathon. That is one of my goals that I would luv to reach. You are going through a lot right now and food is easy to turn to. You will feel better about yourself if you just take small steps. That is what I am telling myself too.

It sounds like you might be clinically depressed. I suggest you talk to your doctor.

There are small changes you can make that will help you begin a healthy lifestyle. First start weighing and logging your food. Don't even worry about hitting a calorie goal. The first step is to see what you are eating and when you are eating. After several weeks of just tracking, look at your diaries and see if there are any simple changes you can make that will cut your calories. For example if you drink sugary drinks, or have high-calorie coffees, can you reduce or cut those out? You might want to set MFP up so you have a small deficit at this point (no more than 1lb per week) and start trying to hit your calorie goal.

Also start trying to exercise. Don't do anything aggressive. Perhaps set yourself the goal of walking for 15 minutes per day. Then work your way up to 30 minutes per day. Once you have established a time and routine for exercise you can look at increasing intensity. Log your exercise so that you can see how many calories you are burning.

I prefer to focus on behaviors rather than the scale. I set myself 2 goals for each day (1) eat under my calorie goal (2) exercise at least 30 minutes. Before bed I place a pebble in a jar if I have achieved those two goals for the day. It doesn't matter what the scale does or doesn't say, I know if I do those two things every day, the weight will come off.

Most importantly you need to figure out what will work for you. There are a lot of people on MFP and lots of advice. However what works for one person might not work for you. You need to develop a plan that works for you, and then stick with it.

Emotional eating is tough. I have struggled with it for years. I have been working through a lot of anxiety issues and a depression that I went through last spring and I agree for the most part with what everyone else has said. It's not about this huge over-arching goal...it's about the baby steps. One little change every couple of weeks will start adding up. All you can do is do your best that you can each day. Don't beat yourself up when you slip up, but don't write off the whole day and binge on four Big Macs either. It will get better, I promise.