My family has no self control.
demibugg
Posts: 19 Member
I pre-pack most of my meals because I need to eat on the go a lot, and I live with my parents and little sister who are all overweight and not doing anything about it.
So because I do the grocery shopping, I've been buying healthier stuff and things for them to eat and snack on as well, but all of us have a problem with "If e see it we eat it".
Today my mom woke up, grabbed a whole tupperware full of pasta salad I was planning on having for dinner, and digging in. This happens a lot, but for some reason this particular instance put me over the edge.
I've asked and explained multiple times that I'm trying to lose weight and having this food prepared is what's going to help me do it, and they always either turn it into a joke, act like they don't care what I'm doing, or use the good old "my house, my rules" thing.
I'm moving out in September, but I'm worried that if they keep this up I won't be able to hold out until then.
I guess I'm looking for advice or suggestions, because talking and explaining just won't do it anymore.
Thanks in advance! c:
So because I do the grocery shopping, I've been buying healthier stuff and things for them to eat and snack on as well, but all of us have a problem with "If e see it we eat it".
Today my mom woke up, grabbed a whole tupperware full of pasta salad I was planning on having for dinner, and digging in. This happens a lot, but for some reason this particular instance put me over the edge.
I've asked and explained multiple times that I'm trying to lose weight and having this food prepared is what's going to help me do it, and they always either turn it into a joke, act like they don't care what I'm doing, or use the good old "my house, my rules" thing.
I'm moving out in September, but I'm worried that if they keep this up I won't be able to hold out until then.
I guess I'm looking for advice or suggestions, because talking and explaining just won't do it anymore.
Thanks in advance! c:
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Replies
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id try just putting it in a plastic bag and tying a knot... I can keep people from eating my ice cream simply by putting it in the garage freezer.. they're too lazy to walk out there... its like the bermuda triangle of delicious frozen stuff...
srs btw... plastic bags dont look delicious... probably will work0 -
First off kudos to you for having a plan to move in Sept!! That is awesome, especially at your age. I see dozens of posts similar to this one but usually it's from a 27 yr old with no plans to ever leave the nest ;-)
I really am not sure what you could do differently than how you are trying to handle it now. This may sound crazy but 2 thoughts came to mind for me when reading your post:
1) Start eating so "weird" that they don't wanna touch your food. If I was living with my mom, she would probably snarf down the blueberries, avocadoes, salads, etc. But if there were rice noodles, tofu, almond milk, etc, she would keep her hands off the freaky hippie food ;-)
2) Hide stuff in your room. Non-perishables obviously, protein bars etc...or things that can be stored for a short time like fruits/raw veg.
Good luck!!!0 -
Start by stop judging other people. If they don't live up to your (new) standards of health and fitness, that's their problem and none of your business.
Until you move out try labeling/hiding/storing elsewhere or even locking up the food that belongs to you and you don't want your family eating.
As for there being temptations in the house, there's nothing you can do other than exercise self-control. Gotta learn it sometime, might as well make it now. Good luck with your goals.0 -
The solution is move - and you've got that covered!! Stick to the plan and move out in September. In the interim I'd only grocery shop for yourself. Label everything with your name - maybe even invest in a mini-fridge for your room (with a lock;)
But other than that - don't stress it. You've only got a few months and you're on your own.0 -
The only reason I mentioned that they weren't doing anything about themselves is because I felt it was an important point. If they wanted to get into being fit and healthy of course I'd be fine with letting them eat the stuff I make, but I spend a lot of my paycheck on things that they wouldn't think twice about if I didn't bring them home, it just makes me a bit miffed that they can eat what they like and yet they go for the things I'm allowed first.0
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Mini fridge is on the list, as soon as I can afford it! Hopefully until then I can find other nooks and crannies to stuff my whole grains and veggies in!
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This is annoying, I used to cook a batch of meat, ready to put the veggies in for supper time. I would get home and my brother-law would have tucked in and eaten most of it....
Anyway hold tight until Sept. Then you can eat what you want...0 -
Today my mom woke up, grabbed a whole tupperware full of pasta salad I was planning on having for dinner, and digging in. This happens a lot, but for some reason this particular instance put me over the edge.
Say, "Hey, Mom, glad you liked my pasta salad. Can you make some more today because was planning on having that for dinner. Here's the recipe and list of ingredients you'll need. I'll figure something out for tonight because I'll be on the run, but if you can have it ready for me tomorrow that would be great. Thanks, Mom! Love you!"0 -
Today my mom woke up, grabbed a whole tupperware full of pasta salad I was planning on having for dinner, and digging in. This happens a lot, but for some reason this particular instance put me over the edge.
Say, "Hey, Mom, glad you liked my pasta salad. Can you make some more today because was planning on having that for dinner. Here's the recipe and list of ingredients you'll need. I'll figure something out for tonight because I'll be on the run, but if you can have it ready for me tomorrow that would be great. Thanks, Mom! Love you!"
Being a mom myself, I can see this as the least confrontational/aggressive move. If I had eaten it, i would feel bad about it, but then having someone rage out at me about it would put me on the defensive and a fight would start....over pasta salad. Try what they told you...if that doesn't work, get more assertive.0 -
Put a label on your food that says something along the lines of, 'Science Experiment, contains <insert name of some random chemicals>.' That might make them think twice about eating it.
Maybe invest in some green food coloring, so the food looks moldy/less palatable. Of course, you run the risk of it getting thrown out.0 -
I would probably leave a container of food with my name on it laced with super hot pepper (I forget the name of it) or maybe laxatives. Be creative. Then maybe that will be the last time they eat your food ;-)0
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Start by stop judging other people. If they don't live up to your (new) standards of health and fitness, that's their problem and none of your business.
Until you move out try labeling/hiding/storing elsewhere or even locking up the food that belongs to you and you don't want your family eating.
As for there being temptations in the house, there's nothing you can do other than exercise self-control. Gotta learn it sometime, might as well make it now. Good luck with your goals.
How is she judging them? It's not unreasonable to be upset that someone else ate the food that she prepared for herself.0 -
Today my mom woke up, grabbed a whole tupperware full of pasta salad I was planning on having for dinner, and digging in. This happens a lot, but for some reason this particular instance put me over the edge.
Say, "Hey, Mom, glad you liked my pasta salad. Can you make some more today because was planning on having that for dinner. Here's the recipe and list of ingredients you'll need. I'll figure something out for tonight because I'll be on the run, but if you can have it ready for me tomorrow that would be great. Thanks, Mom! Love you!"
indeed. A good option.
I used to live with a friend- a male- not a boyfriend. We just made sure we had separate shevles- he never cooked. but I often would pre-portion everything and anything that didn't fit went in the big tupperwear and it went on the top shelf.
Anything on the top shelf was fair game- anything in the middle shelf was mine- if I REALLY didnt' want him to see it- I hid it behind a row of other crap I didn't think he was interested in. It worked very well- but we had some mutual respect so he didn't go digging through my stuff- may or may not work for you if they are boundary breakers.
I personally find people who take other peoples food after being requested not to incredibly rude and offensive- I would seriously be offended if people did that to me. I grew up asking "can I eat this" because mom would put something somewhere and I would eat and it had been for dinner- so I messed her dinner plans up. Now when I'm home I always ask if it's okay to eat X (assuming there aren't a stock pile of them clearly visible)
That's just so rude and disrespectful- I hate when people do that- you're stronger than me- I would flip the eff out.0 -
Today my mom woke up, grabbed a whole tupperware full of pasta salad I was planning on having for dinner, and digging in. This happens a lot, but for some reason this particular instance put me over the edge.
Say, "Hey, Mom, glad you liked my pasta salad. Can you make some more today because was planning on having that for dinner. Here's the recipe and list of ingredients you'll need. I'll figure something out for tonight because I'll be on the run, but if you can have it ready for me tomorrow that would be great. Thanks, Mom! Love you!"
I love this! It might only make some moms angry but it could get her to think at least. I agree on the mini fridge and also I would get some brown paper bags and put anything you have prepped and are planning on eating for a meal in it with your name on it, date and meal (like 04/16/14 lunch) and then A) it is less visible than a clear container where they can actually see the food and
they can clearly see that whatever is in the bag is your meal. Good luck and I hope it all works out for you to set out on your own in just a few months. 0 -
Today my mom woke up, grabbed a whole tupperware full of pasta salad I was planning on having for dinner, and digging in. This happens a lot, but for some reason this particular instance put me over the edge.
Say, "Hey, Mom, glad you liked my pasta salad. Can you make some more today because was planning on having that for dinner. Here's the recipe and list of ingredients you'll need. I'll figure something out for tonight because I'll be on the run, but if you can have it ready for me tomorrow that would be great. Thanks, Mom! Love you!"
Being a mom myself, I can see this as the least confrontational/aggressive move. If I had eaten it, i would feel bad about it, but then having someone rage out at me about it would put me on the defensive and a fight would start....over pasta salad. Try what they told you...if that doesn't work, get more assertive.
I wish it were that easy, but my mother does not experience guilt. If I asked her to do that she would laugh in my face, unbelievable as that sounds. And I don't rage at her or anyone. I'm not a loud, angry person in general.
I don't know, this whole thing is silly but she does things like it all the time. She likes to brush off my emotions and make a joke out of everything , no matter how many times I tell her it irritates me.0 -
Hide stuff in your room, in your closet, wherever you can...in a shoe box. As for fridge, try a note "Do Not Eat this" and tape it on. Stick it way back in the fridge. I like the idea of putting it in a wrapped up plastic sack tied up, too. Put food in dark containers and label it as something disgusting that you KNOW they wouldn't want (you know, like carrot sticks, lol, or Fish!). I bet they like to eat stuff that sounds yummy. So go the other way.
It sounds like your family doesn't have boundaries. They probably will get into your min-fridge in your absence. I would save your money on that one as you will have a fridge at your new place.
You can also try buying food more often as to avoid having to store it.0 -
Good answers here. I had a room mate years ago who would always eat my food. I would label it initial it it did not matter. I took another's suggestion. I put it all in a brown paper bag STAPLED it shut and wrote on it "I will break your fingers it you eat this" never an issue again. Sometimes you have to be assertive. Good luck. Just think how nice it will be when you can move out.0
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Something I did at one point when I had roommates that ate my food. Get a box with a lock on it and keep the keys with you. It's hard to steal your food if they can't get it open. Granted, you can't keep everything in there, but it will at least protect your prepared meals.0
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I have to say I think that your situation sucks. I have a 20 year old daughter who has celiac disease. She works, buys her own food and usually prepares most of her own meals. I can't imagine eating her stuff (no matter what it is...if it looks good or not). Very sad that there is no respect for your stuff (especially since you purchase it)....
I think the brown bag and labeling idea is great. I also think if you can hide non perishable stuff, I would. I am impressed that you are so young and trying to take charge of your life. That is awesome!!! Good luck....I wish you the best on your journey to better health!!0 -
Thank you guys so much for all of your support!! I've only been at this for two days but I've yoyo dieted all my life, and I've always been scared to reach out to others. I have confidence that this time will be the time I win, but you guys make me even more confident in it! 0
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Here's what I'd do.
Grapes? Wash them off, dry them gently, then, as one of your family members are watching you, stick a couple in your mouth, then spit them back into the bag with the others. Stare at them the entire time.
Whole grain crackers? Lick random ones (make sure you're seen doing so) and put them back in the package.0 -
By the way, just discovered a trick-- If I put "their" food on top of mine, even if it's all in tupperware they'll go for the food on top first. I guess like me, they want the quickest, easiest thing!0
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Here's what I'd do.
Grapes? Wash them off, dry them gently, then, as one of your family members are watching you, stick a couple in your mouth, then spit them back into the bag with the others. Stare at them the entire time.
Whole grain crackers? Lick random ones (make sure you're seen doing so) and put them back in the package.
I sure will look forward to those soggy, licked crackers later! :P0 -
Here's what I'd do.
Grapes? Wash them off, dry them gently, then, as one of your family members are watching you, stick a couple in your mouth, then spit them back into the bag with the others. Stare at them the entire time.
Whole grain crackers? Lick random ones (make sure you're seen doing so) and put them back in the package.
I sure will look forward to those soggy, licked crackers later! :P
Saves you some chewing later
Just let them SEE you do it once or twice...if they're smart they'll take a hint and leave your stuff alone.
You could try a small tool box that you can attach a lock too, something that will fit in the fridge.0 -
Here's what I'd do.
Grapes? Wash them off, dry them gently, then, as one of your family members are watching you, stick a couple in your mouth, then spit them back into the bag with the others. Stare at them the entire time.
Whole grain crackers? Lick random ones (make sure you're seen doing so) and put them back in the package.
I sure will look forward to those soggy, licked crackers later! :P
Saves you some chewing later Just let them SEE you do it once or twice...if they're smart they'll take a hint and leave your stuff alone.
You could try a small tool box that you can attach a lock too, something that will fit in the fridge.
A lockbox will probably be less expensive than a mini fridge, too. When I get paid this week I'll shop around for something!0 -
An old boss always ate my lunch at work, he was just lazy. I knew it was him, but he would never admit it I made canned cat food sandwiches and left them in the work fridge. He ate them. I then announced at work that someone ate my lunch and whoever did just ate cat food. My food never disappeared again sugar free candy or fart bars (aka Fiber One bars) are another go to revenge food. 0
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Kudos on doing what you're doing and I wish you the best of luck. Sadly, I know exactly what you mean about your mom just laughing and brushing off your feelings. Same deal with mine. People act out of fear and anxiety without even knowing it. She may unconsciously perceive your weight-loss plan as a threat to her and as a rejection of the choices she has made for herself, and consequently, as a rejection of her as a mom. By endeavoring to be healthy, you are showing her that her way is "wrong", and few of us enjoy being corrected. She may be doing the best she can to manage her insecurities or her feelings of being "told" she has made the wrong choices in life and feeling rejected by you. But you don't have to fall prey to her feelings about herself or her feelings about you for that matter. Don't waste time trying to figure out people's motivations. Most of the time they themselves don't know why they do what they do. This journey is yours. Own it. In the meantime, I like the labeling ideas. The clearer the boundaries the better. Some will still violate them, but you can't control everyone. If you have a fridge at work, keep stuff there as well, assuming it is safe. Until you move, keep your chin up, and try to have a healthy plan B as often as you can for when your food goes missing.0
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I pre-pack most of my meals because I need to eat on the go a lot, and I live with my parents and little sister who are all overweight and not doing anything about it.
So because I do the grocery shopping, I've been buying healthier stuff and things for them to eat and snack on as well, but all of us have a problem with "If e see it we eat it".
Today my mom woke up, grabbed a whole tupperware full of pasta salad I was planning on having for dinner, and digging in. This happens a lot, but for some reason this particular instance put me over the edge.
I've asked and explained multiple times that I'm trying to lose weight and having this food prepared is what's going to help me do it, and they always either turn it into a joke, act like they don't care what I'm doing, or use the good old "my house, my rules" thing.
I'm moving out in September, but I'm worried that if they keep this up I won't be able to hold out until then.
I guess I'm looking for advice or suggestions, because talking and explaining just won't do it anymore.
Thanks in advance! c:
Buy a mini fridge and out it in your room... Or try and move out before September!0 -
An old boss always ate my lunch at work, he was just lazy. I knew it was him, but he would never admit it I made canned cat food sandwiches and left them in the work fridge. He ate them. I then announced at work that someone ate my lunch and whoever did just ate cat food. My food never disappeared again sugar free candy or fart bars (aka Fiber One bars) are another go to revenge food.
that's amazing.
seriously.
Also the Sugar Free Habiro bears- apparently those do wonders for your GI track- insta cleanse.0 -
I wish it were that easy, but my mother does not experience guilt. If I asked her to do that she would laugh in my face, unbelievable as that sounds. And I don't rage at her or anyone. I'm not a loud, angry person in general.
I don't know, this whole thing is silly but she does things like it all the time. She likes to brush off my emotions and make a joke out of everything , no matter how many times I tell her it irritates me.
For the next week add generous amounts of crushed ex Lax into all the food you leave in the fridge and plan on alternate eating. When the week is up and they are all talking about how sick they were all week let them know why and remind them that you've repeatedly asked them not to eat the food you make/buy for yourself.
I did this to a room-mate in college and it worked like a charm. She never touched ANYTHING of mine again.0
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