Why we deserve to be healthy...

AMEN! I am looking at this journey as a lifestyle change. The word diet does not exist in my world. Thanks for the motivation and positivity!

Honestly I've never considered that I "deserve" to be healthy and I'm not even sure what that means really. How does anyone "deserve" health? By being a good person? Unfortunately the world doesn't operate that way. If I want to be healthy it is something that I must take by force through my own will dedication and perseverance, it will never be handed to me by fate simply because I am worthy of it in some philosophical way. You get what you take, there are no handouts in life and I prefer the stark coldness of that outlook as I find it more effective for my motivation.

I think the word "deserve" comes in because a lot of us have felt, at one point or another, that we didn't deserve good things to happen to us. That we were ugly or unloveable or deficient to such a degree that we deserved to be sad or sick or alone. If someone hasn't felt that way (for a significant period of time...I'm not talking about a few hours or a day here or there), using the word "deserve" in that context doesn't make a lot of sense. But if you have felt that way, realizing that you deserve good things in your life can be a revelation.

I think the word "deserve" comes in because a lot of us have felt, at one point or another, that we didn't deserve good things to happen to us. That we were ugly or unloveable or deficient to such a degree that we deserved to be sad or sick or alone. If someone hasn't felt that way (for a significant period of time...I'm not talking about a few hours or a day here or there), using the word "deserve" in that context doesn't make a lot of sense. But if you have felt that way, realizing that you deserve good things in your life can be a revelation.

Alright I guess in that context I understand. If you mean coming out of depression to the realization that you can achieve what you set out to achieve as realizing you "deserve" something then okay. Just was confused by the idea because not how I see the world at all. That is just realizing that you can be worthy of earning something to which you work hard for which can be hard if you are depressed. If that is what is meant here by "deserve" I get that.

The way I use or think about "deserve" is its a concept that someone you are owed something despite not necessarily working towards it. That by default you are owed something regardless of your effort. That is the idea I sort of disdain and it is possible we are just speaking past each-other based on different semantic ideas of what the word means.

I will feel that I deserve to be healthy at the point in which I attain health through my own action.

Maybe saying what I think people do deserve would make more sense.

I think everyone deserves access to fresh water, nutritious food and adequate health care. Health however, in the sense of fitness, is something you earn...not something you deserve.

de·serve/dɪˈzɜrv/ Show Spelled [dih-zurv] Show IPA
verb (used with object), de·served, de·serv·ing.
1. to merit, be qualified for, or have a claim to (reward, assistance, punishment, etc.) because of actions, qualities, or situation: to deserve exile; to deserve charity; a theory that deserves consideration.
verb (used without object), de·served, de·serv·ing.
2. to be worthy of, qualified for, or have a claim to reward, punishment, recompense, etc.: to reward him as he deserves; an idea deserving of study.

I am familiar with the definition.

My point is if you follow actions that would make you healthy then you will be healthy at which point you deserve it. The problem is you only deserve it after the fact that you took the actions to get there so its sort of moot. If you are not healthy then it is because you have taken insufficient action to attain health and therefore you do not deserve it. You do not suddenly start deserving it just because after years of being unhealthy you recently started dieting. Before you think this is a personal attack I think the same of myself, I have not "deserved" health because I did not put in the sufficient time or effort to attain the level of health I would like. At the point I have managed to do so and attain that level of health I will have deserved it. Until then I have not "qualified for, or have claim to because of actions" health.

EDIT: I feel I need to clarify that by "health" I mean it in terms of fitness not lack of illness. I do not think people who are ill from a disease have simply not worked hard enough to rid themselves of the illness that would be silly.

de·serve/dɪˈzɜrv/ Show Spelled [dih-zurv] Show IPA
verb (used with object), de·served, de·serv·ing.
1. to merit, be qualified for, or have a claim to (reward, assistance, punishment, etc.) because of actions, qualities, or situation: to deserve exile; to deserve charity; a theory that deserves consideration.
verb (used without object), de·served, de·serv·ing.
2. to be worthy of, qualified for, or have a claim to reward, punishment, recompense, etc.: to reward him as he deserves; an idea deserving of study.

I am familiar with the definition.

My point is if you follow actions that would make you healthy then you will be healthy at which point you deserve it. The problem is you only deserve it after the fact that you took the actions to get there so its sort of moot. If you are not healthy then it is because you have taken insufficient action to attain health and therefore you do not deserve it. Before you think this is a personal attack I think the same of myself, I have not "deserved" health because I did not put in the sufficient time or effort to attain the level of health I would like. At the point I have managed to do so and attain that level of health I will have deserved it. Until then you have not "qualified for, or have claim to because of actions"

EDIT: I feel I need to clarify that by "health" I mean it in terms of fitness not lack of illness. I do not think people who are ill from a disease have simply not worked hard enough to rid themselves of the illness that would be silly.

I have to agree. IMO, health isn't something people deserve, but a reward for hard work.

Its so true all you said.
Please count with me for mutual support, I was just Dx with Diabetes. need to loose 55 pounds
So let's play were getting healthy by the minute.:flowerforyou:

" I am asking you why don't you want to lose weight?"

This is an interesting question. I allowed myself to get overweight after becoming fit not all that long ago. The reason I tell myself is because I stopped focusing on my body and started focusing on my career instead, a complete sort of focus at the expense of everything else. As a result I slowly but surely packed on the pounds and lost the strength gains I had made previously. Here is the thing though. When I was focused on career like a hawk I wasn't even really aware of my body and there is something liberating about that. When I care about my fitness it makes me aware of imperfections in myself, what I want but do not have. When I didn't pay attention to my fitness I was free of all of that, I really didn't care and therefore there was no stress or burden on me from it and I was free to do other things in my life.

Long story short I think the times when I have been reluctant to lose fat it was because I realized that if I started down that road I would become, once again, painfully aware of my imperfections and being far from my ideal self. It can be nice to be oblivious sometimes.

I have fought to lose weight the "easy" way, with shakes or fasting. Why on earth did I think it was the easy way, I am not sure anymore. I can't believe I was so naive only last year. I believe it was more punishment than anything.

I have known for many many years that if I could stick with counting calories it would work. I was unable to get myself to do it though. Why? why did I not want to lose fat?

I was feeling cheated! By life.
It just seemed so unfair that other people are thin by default. That it just so happened that I have a slower metabolism than others. Me, who loves food, me who always felt: food=quality of life. Less food=less quality of life.

I felt great resentment towards people in general when I saw them eat and be merry knowing I had to cut back on food or go and drink a shake. especially painful when you are at it for months on end and once you finish the weight you lost in say 3 month is back on in 3 weeks

I did not let go of my fat because I was too stubborn and didn't want to accept that I have been dealt these cards and that I am someone who will have to watch her food intake every day, while others don't need to. I always compared myself to others.

Why is it different this time? I guess I have faced my demons and got tired of fighting. I accepted that I have to count calories and I put the work in. I have accepted that I lose weight slower than other and I might have to work harder than others to reach my goal. What else is new?

I can't fight nature, so I have to work with it. No more quick fixes that don't last, no more comparing to others, no more being stubborn.

You are so right! I often think that I should stop complaining and sometimes I realize how lucky I actually am for having working limbs and a healthy brain.

It could be so much worse, some people have to eat a very restrictive diet, I only have to eat less of EVERYTHING. I am lucky to have the choice.

Very good reminder. Thank you :flowerforyou:

I think the word "deserve" comes in because a lot of us have felt, at one point or another, that we didn't deserve good things to happen to us. That we were ugly or unloveable or deficient to such a degree that we deserved to be sad or sick or alone. If someone hasn't felt that way (for a significant period of time...I'm not talking about a few hours or a day here or there), using the word "deserve" in that context doesn't make a lot of sense. But if you have felt that way, realizing that you deserve good things in your life can be a revelation.

Agreed. Good way to explain it.

Related to this is the idea that a lot of people have that they just aren't the kind of person who is fit or thin--it's a self-defeating way of thinking where you can't imagine yourself succeeding, which prevents you from having the motivation or will-power to even start or to stick with it when you have setbacks. That's why it's so important to deal with the negative self-image for a lot of people, to feel like you are the kind of person who deserves the time, work, and self-care it requires to get in shape. That it's not just self-indulgent you being self-centered or a waste of time because you can never be fit or whatever terrible message people often tell themselves.

I was never overweight until I was an adult (although I certainly thought I was at times) and have spent enough of my adult life in shape that I know what it feels like to see this as just about making health/fitness a priority and working for it, but even with those advantages I have found myself falling into the morass where weight feels uncontrollable, and I know there are other parts of my life where those kinds of feelings serve to make change far harder than it ought to be, so I think I can somewhat understand how important feeling worthy, feeling like you too are the kind of person who can do it, can be for weightloss for a lot of people.

Decided to re-read this post this morning and I admit to my brain it still doesn't make sense.

By analogy let us say I wanted to run a full marathon. To me the ability to run a marathon is something that has to be earned through a lot of hard work and perseverance, just like getting fit and healthy does. When I try to get my body into shape to be able to run a marathon, at what point would you say that I "deserve" to be able to run a marathon? Which step?

1. I start training to run the marathon by going on regular jogs. Do I deserve to finish a marathon now?
2. I get up to being able to run 10 miles in a day. How about now?
3. I sign up for the marathon and show up to the race. Or now?
4. I start running and have made it about 1/2 way keeping my pace. Do I deserve to finish?
5. I come very close to finishing but tucker out and can no longer continue, but I came close. Does coming close mean I deserved to go all the way?
or 6. I finish the marathon. So do I deserve it now that I have managed to do it?

Really in my mind the only step in which I deserve to finish the marathon is step 6, where I actually manage to finish a marathon. At that point I have shown that I have put in sufficient effort and through my own action trained my body enough to merit completing one and therefore I then and only then deserve the respect that comes along with that. If however I am incapable of finishing the marathon the mere fact that you really really tried does not mean I deserve to finish it, it means I need to work more. Thinking about it as needing to work more is constructive, thinking about it like I really deserved to complete it even though I couldn't is not constructive. I might go running every day but I would never say that I "deserve" to be capable of running a marathon, it is just an odd thing to say imo.

The idea that you can deserve something that you have not put in sufficient effort to actually attain just diminishes the value of that thing. Someone who can run a marathon should be very proud at there accomplishment and no someone who cannot does not "deserve" to be able to just because they attempted it. For example I would never ever tell a marathon runner that I deserved to be able to run marathons because I go running sometimes.

Who do you think deserves to be able to run a marathon? How much effort is required to deserve something?

Being fit and healthy is hard no doubt...it is akin to being able to run a marathon in terms of amount of effort for most people. It is on a pedestal but that pedestal is reachable through effort to anyone who has access to food, water and does not have some major debilitating illness. You deserve it when you get there, not before. Until then it is something to work for, to aspire to. It is struggle and not handed down, but there is reward at the end.