Why we deserve to be healthy...

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  • lstanisz79
    lstanisz79 Posts: 17 Member
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    Very well said!
  • Emi1974
    Emi1974 Posts: 522 Member
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    I have fought to lose weight the "easy" way, with shakes or fasting. Why on earth did I think it was the easy way, I am not sure anymore. I can't believe I was so naive only last year. I believe it was more punishment than anything.

    I have known for many many years that if I could stick with counting calories it would work. I was unable to get myself to do it though. Why? why did I not want to lose fat?

    I was feeling cheated! By life.
    It just seemed so unfair that other people are thin by default. That it just so happened that I have a slower metabolism than others. Me, who loves food, me who always felt: food=quality of life. Less food=less quality of life.

    I felt great resentment towards people in general when I saw them eat and be merry knowing I had to cut back on food or go and drink a shake. especially painful when you are at it for months on end and once you finish the weight you lost in say 3 month is back on in 3 weeks :(

    I did not let go of my fat because I was too stubborn and didn't want to accept that I have been dealt these cards and that I am someone who will have to watch her food intake every day, while others don't need to. I always compared myself to others.

    Why is it different this time? I guess I have faced my demons and got tired of fighting. I accepted that I have to count calories and I put the work in. I have accepted that I lose weight slower than other and I might have to work harder than others to reach my goal. What else is new?

    I can't fight nature, so I have to work with it. No more quick fixes that don't last, no more comparing to others, no more being stubborn.
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
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    Emi, this reminds me of a post I read Why do we have to suffer.

    No. Life is not fair to the people that are born with a disability that prevent them from doing things that they want. Or people that have developed disabilities from accidents later in life. Or children that are born with diseases that guarantee a short life. The list could go on and on.

    Life is not fair and we don't have to be obese. We get a lot of support on here and we can do this. We have to accept responsibility and work hard.
  • Emi1974
    Emi1974 Posts: 522 Member
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    You are so right! I often think that I should stop complaining and sometimes I realize how lucky I actually am for having working limbs and a healthy brain.

    It could be so much worse, some people have to eat a very restrictive diet, I only have to eat less of EVERYTHING. I am lucky to have the choice.

    Very good reminder. Thank you :flowerforyou:
  • hitsnooze
    hitsnooze Posts: 79
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    i think losing weight should just be a by product of a new healthy lifestyle. that way you have your priorities in order and it's bound to stay off because a healthy lifestyle is forever. nice post :3
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
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    I think the word "deserve" comes in because a lot of us have felt, at one point or another, that we didn't deserve good things to happen to us. That we were ugly or unloveable or deficient to such a degree that we deserved to be sad or sick or alone. If someone hasn't felt that way (for a significant period of time...I'm not talking about a few hours or a day here or there), using the word "deserve" in that context doesn't make a lot of sense. But if you have felt that way, realizing that you deserve good things in your life can be a revelation.

    Agreed. Good way to explain it.

    Related to this is the idea that a lot of people have that they just aren't the kind of person who is fit or thin--it's a self-defeating way of thinking where you can't imagine yourself succeeding, which prevents you from having the motivation or will-power to even start or to stick with it when you have setbacks. That's why it's so important to deal with the negative self-image for a lot of people, to feel like you are the kind of person who deserves the time, work, and self-care it requires to get in shape. That it's not just self-indulgent you being self-centered or a waste of time because you can never be fit or whatever terrible message people often tell themselves.

    I was never overweight until I was an adult (although I certainly thought I was at times) and have spent enough of my adult life in shape that I know what it feels like to see this as just about making health/fitness a priority and working for it, but even with those advantages I have found myself falling into the morass where weight feels uncontrollable, and I know there are other parts of my life where those kinds of feelings serve to make change far harder than it ought to be, so I think I can somewhat understand how important feeling worthy, feeling like you too are the kind of person who can do it, can be for weightloss for a lot of people.
  • amberrose_724
    amberrose_724 Posts: 6 Member
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    I love this post. sorry I just got back on to this site after a while. yah I've been struggling with weight,even when I do exercise, it usually amounts to very little on the scale and it sucks. weight watchers didn't work for me either. just going to take it day by day, starting off right today with fruit and water. hopefully this will be my last year with worrying about my weight.
  • Aaron_K123
    Aaron_K123 Posts: 7,122 Member
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    Decided to re-read this post this morning and I admit to my brain it still doesn't make sense.

    By analogy let us say I wanted to run a full marathon. To me the ability to run a marathon is something that has to be earned through a lot of hard work and perseverance, just like getting fit and healthy does. When I try to get my body into shape to be able to run a marathon, at what point would you say that I "deserve" to be able to run a marathon? Which step?

    1. I start training to run the marathon by going on regular jogs. Do I deserve to finish a marathon now?
    2. I get up to being able to run 10 miles in a day. How about now?
    3. I sign up for the marathon and show up to the race. Or now?
    4. I start running and have made it about 1/2 way keeping my pace. Do I deserve to finish?
    5. I come very close to finishing but tucker out and can no longer continue, but I came close. Does coming close mean I deserved to go all the way?
    or 6. I finish the marathon. So do I deserve it now that I have managed to do it?

    Really in my mind the only step in which I deserve to finish the marathon is step 6, where I actually manage to finish a marathon. At that point I have shown that I have put in sufficient effort and through my own action trained my body enough to merit completing one and therefore I then and only then deserve the respect that comes along with that. If however I am incapable of finishing the marathon the mere fact that you really really tried does not mean I deserve to finish it, it means I need to work more. Thinking about it as needing to work more is constructive, thinking about it like I really deserved to complete it even though I couldn't is not constructive. I might go running every day but I would never say that I "deserve" to be capable of running a marathon, it is just an odd thing to say imo.

    The idea that you can deserve something that you have not put in sufficient effort to actually attain just diminishes the value of that thing. Someone who can run a marathon should be very proud at there accomplishment and no someone who cannot does not "deserve" to be able to just because they attempted it. For example I would never ever tell a marathon runner that I deserved to be able to run marathons because I go running sometimes.

    Who do you think deserves to be able to run a marathon? How much effort is required to deserve something?

    Being fit and healthy is hard no doubt...it is akin to being able to run a marathon in terms of amount of effort for most people. It is on a pedestal but that pedestal is reachable through effort to anyone who has access to food, water and does not have some major debilitating illness. You deserve it when you get there, not before. Until then it is something to work for, to aspire to. It is struggle and not handed down, but there is reward at the end.
  • GC527
    GC527 Posts: 272 Member
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    Decided to re-read this post this morning and I admit to my brain it still doesn't make sense.

    By analogy let us say I wanted to run a full marathon. To me the ability to run a marathon is something that has to be earned through a lot of hard work and perseverance, just like getting fit and healthy does. When I try to get my body into shape to be able to run a marathon, at what point would you say that I "deserve" to be able to run a marathon? Which step?

    1. I start training to run the marathon by going on regular jogs. Do I deserve to finish a marathon now?
    2. I get up to being able to run 10 miles in a day. How about now?
    3. I sign up for the marathon and show up to the race. Or now?
    4. I start running and have made it about 1/2 way keeping my pace. Do I deserve to finish?
    5. I come very close to finishing but tucker out and can no longer continue, but I came close. Does coming close mean I deserved to go all the way?
    or 6. I finish the marathon. So do I deserve it now that I have managed to do it?

    Really in my mind the only step in which I deserve to finish the marathon is step 6, where I actually manage to finish a marathon. At that point I have shown that I have put in sufficient effort and through my own action trained my body enough to merit completing one and therefore I then and only then deserve the respect that comes along with that. If however I am incapable of finishing the marathon the mere fact that you really really tried does not mean I deserve to finish it, it means I need to work more. Thinking about it as needing to work more is constructive, thinking about it like I really deserved to complete it even though I couldn't is not constructive. I might go running every day but I would never say that I "deserve" to be capable of running a marathon, it is just an odd thing to say imo.

    The idea that you can deserve something that you have not put in sufficient effort to actually attain just diminishes the value of that thing. Someone who can run a marathon should be very proud at there accomplishment and no someone who cannot does not "deserve" to be able to just because they attempted it. For example I would never ever tell a marathon runner that I deserved to be able to run marathons because I go running sometimes.

    Who do you think deserves to be able to run a marathon? How much effort is required to deserve something?

    Being fit and healthy is hard no doubt...it is akin to being able to run a marathon in terms of amount of effort for most people. It is on a pedestal but that pedestal is reachable through effort to anyone who has access to food, water and does not have some major debilitating illness. You deserve it when you get there, not before. Until then it is something to work for, to aspire to. It is struggle and not handed down, but there is reward at the end.




    Ok. I don't think you are understanding what I meant by this. You've made your point that you disagree with what I've said but I still believe in what I wrote. Please leave it be.
  • GC527
    GC527 Posts: 272 Member
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    I think the word "deserve" comes in because a lot of us have felt, at one point or another, that we didn't deserve good things to happen to us. That we were ugly or unloveable or deficient to such a degree that we deserved to be sad or sick or alone. If someone hasn't felt that way (for a significant period of time...I'm not talking about a few hours or a day here or there), using the word "deserve" in that context doesn't make a lot of sense. But if you have felt that way, realizing that you deserve good things in your life can be a revelation.

    Thank you. At least some understand what I meant!
  • Aaron_K123
    Aaron_K123 Posts: 7,122 Member
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    Ok. I don't think you are understanding what I meant by this. You've made your point that you disagree with what I've said but I still believe in what I wrote. Please leave it be.

    Oh I fully admit that I don't understand the sentiment described and if my lack of understanding disqualifies me from posting it is your thread and I can leave. I will not post again unless directly addressed. Best of luck.
  • Kestrel45
    Kestrel45 Posts: 133
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    The other day when my best friend was over and we were getting ready to go out to a bar, she told me to try on a few outfits to see how they looked because I didn't think I had anything dressy to wear. As I was trying on my 4th shirt and looking at myself in the mirror, I was getting so upset and emotional and eventually just broke down in tears and ripped the shirt off, saying, "This shouldn't be an issue at all, I shouldn't be this big, this shouldn't happen!!" At that point I knew I had to get back on track, because I never wanted to feel how I felt that night ever again.

    Thanks for your words :)

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