Husband's ridiculous excuse for no activity (rant)

I had the most ridiculous conversation with my husband last night in regards to exercise/fitness. He is "interested" in starting a routine at the gym, but is making a ridiculous excuse to NOT get started.

A little backstory: We work opposite schedules- he works M-F 8-5 and I work 12 hour nights 7p-7a various nights per week. My schedule right now mainly consists of working one week 6 out of 7 days then having a week off. I make time in this for exercise, but during my work weeks, I go to the gym 3 times per week, on my off weeks 5-6 times per week. In other words, it's not all that consistent, but I go when I can and try make sure I do my lifting consistently. He wants to go to the gym with me after he gets off work but we have a special needs child who cannot be left unattended. My solution was for him to go by himself....get ready for this....

He says that unless he has a strict schedule, like say, every MWF there's no point and that unless it's consistent like that, there's no benefits. He actually said "ask any fitness expert, if you do that it's like going backward." I wanted to laugh in his face but didn't- I just shut up because there is no way to respond to something so ignorant.

BTW, his plan does not involve weights, just, in his words, "power walking".

So by his logic, fitting it in when you can has as many benefits as not doing it at all.

I was seriously at a loss for words....REALLY?!?!?

Thoughts on my rant? Would this annoy the heck out of anyone else, or am I crazy?
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Replies

  • aswearingen22
    aswearingen22 Posts: 271 Member
    Sounds like he has no interest in the gym!;)

    Power walking, really? I assume he's a healthy youngish guy? wow.
  • lilbearzmom
    lilbearzmom Posts: 600 Member

    Power walking, really? I assume he's a healthy youngish guy? wow.

    LOL He's 46!!!!
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    Ok... so? Maybe he isn't ready to fully commit.. And who cares if it's powerwalking or powerlifting... at least it's something other than sitting on the couch all evening watching TV and eating candy...

    Reread... but yeah, he is incorrect when it comes to not being consistant is the same as not doing anything at all.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    hmmm I hear you...

    Mine says he wants to lift...and he doesn't have to leave the house to do it...

    Mine did up a spreadsheet to track it...I think he spent more time on the spreadsheet...

    Mine says ...he doesn't want me lifting more than him....too late :bigsmile:

    Eh...if he wants it he will do it and he has his mind set on certian "rules"..so does mine...

    I get it tho...mine works 2 12 hour days, 2@12 hour nights then 4 off...he's got lots of time...he plays video games instead...
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    I said that once- honest to god I did- I was only getting to go like once a week.

    It really was a cover for the fact I was depressed and frustrated with life and felt like I wasn't getting anywhere.

    I was angry that my roommate/best friend was willing to go- and I was angry that I didn't want to go.

    I felt trapped- but that was my excuse- that doing once a week was pretty much pointless (not going backwards) but pointless.

    It's hard- it's frustrating- and it is INCREDIBLY STUPID.

    But the reality is- it's an excuse for something else.

    I have a floating schedule- I go to a lot of dance classes- and accommodate a long distance boyfriend- who also works an opposite schedule of me - I'm M-F 8-5 he works (two hours away) Friday through Tuesday- and Wed/Thurs = weekend- and he works 3 PM to 11 PM- plus an hour commute each way. I'd actually call it syncopated rather than floating- I mostly still workout 4-5 days a week but my rest days change based on my lift days and what's going on at the dance studio.

    I'm progressing just fine.

    be patient and see if there is something else bothering him that's keeping him. Or - even just say- that's not a valid reason and you know it- clearly something else is bothering you about going to lift. I don't need to know it- but just know that it's an excuse- and you know it's an excuse and until you address whatever is bothering you- you'll keep putting it off- but that's on you.

    good luck- my BF is a "gym slacker" too. makes me crazy but I love him anyway LOL
  • Greenrun99
    Greenrun99 Posts: 2,065 Member
    Old dogs don't like new tricks.


    Excuse is an excuse.. he just doesn't want to do it.
  • Strokingdiction
    Strokingdiction Posts: 1,164 Member
    He told you that he was interested to get you off his back. He's not really interested.
  • asdelmonte
    asdelmonte Posts: 171 Member
    It sounds, to me, like he's just not ready. Someday he may change his mind.
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
    I worked out for the better part of 10 years while my husband did not before my husband finally decided to follow my lead, and now he's closing in on a 500 lb. deadlift. When your husband wants to, he will. And nothing you can do or say will make that happen one minute sooner.
  • lilbearzmom
    lilbearzmom Posts: 600 Member
    He told you that he was interested to get you off his back. He's not really interested.

    To clarify, I rarely mention him going to the gym even though we have a family membership. He's the one who brought it up. I honestly don't care whether he goes or not, I know he will if he truly wants to and no sooner. The excuse was just so out there...that's what got my goat.
  • aproc
    aproc Posts: 1,033 Member
    His argument makes no sense. Anything is better than nothing at all. You can make huge progress with just 2 days a week. He obviously just doesn't want to do it but doesn't want you thinking negatively of him not doing it.
  • Strokingdiction
    Strokingdiction Posts: 1,164 Member
    He told you that he was interested to get you off his back. He's not really interested.

    To clarify, I rarely mention him going to the gym even though we have a family membership. He's the one who brought it up. I honestly don't care whether he goes or not, I know he will if he truly wants to and no sooner. The excuse was just so out there...that's what got my goat.

    He told you that he was interested because he knew it would please you. He's not really interested.
  • geekyjock76
    geekyjock76 Posts: 2,720 Member
    I'll let every gym know they should only be open MWF since exercising on a set schedule is the only way to see benefits.
  • fivethreeone
    fivethreeone Posts: 8,196 Member
    I worked out for the better part of 10 years while my husband did not before my husband finally decided to follow my lead, and now he's closing in on a 500 lb. deadlift. When your husband wants to, he will. And nothing you can do or say will make that happen one minute sooner.

    Confucius say THIS.
  • vjohn04
    vjohn04 Posts: 2,276 Member
    So? Does how he feels about exercise really impact you?


    I'm not really seeing the point about complaining about someone else's actions that don't really effect you.

    When he wants to do it, he will.

    You have to decide if that is unacceptable behavior or not.
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    Dump that zero and get yourself a hero.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    And? So he does't want to go. What's the big deal?
  • George_Baileys_Ghost
    George_Baileys_Ghost Posts: 1,524 Member
    Sweep the leg!
  • Galatea_Stone
    Galatea_Stone Posts: 2,037 Member
    I made excuses far more WTF than that. He'll go when he's ready. Just keep doing you and be a good silent influence.
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    For most of the past two years, my main exercise has been one kickass boxing workout on thursday nights. Averaging around 700 - 900 cals burned.


    That, combined with runs here and there (nothing consistent) and eating at a deficit ... was my way of life. And i managed to drop my last 10 pounds and find my sixpack.

    His excuse is just that. Any exercise is better than NO exercise, though regular exercise is preferred.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    BTW, his plan does not involve weights, just, in his words, "power walking".


    ^^ It's a start.
  • calibriintx
    calibriintx Posts: 1,741 Member
    In for future post from husband who found out that his wife is tempted to laugh in his face, is annoyed by him, and refers to him as ignorant in public forums. Your husband sounds like he's making excuses and you sound like a real peach.
  • mc_hudd
    mc_hudd Posts: 47
    My hubby works out of town for a week & is then home for a week. I've tried to get him to work out with me at home, because he's constantly complaining about his belly. This last week when he was home, he worked out 1 night with me! The other nights he was just too tired. :huh: I've decided to carry on with my routine & ignore him & let him be jealous of my fitness, LOL! :laugh:
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    It's been said here before.. But do nothing more than be a good influence and support him when he is ready.
    don't be that nag. Nobody likes that nag. Nobody is motivated by that nag.
    Nobody wants to shag that nag.
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
    Sounds like he's really up on the science of fitness.

    GNYMcfR.gif
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    I had the most ridiculous conversation with my husband last night in regards to exercise/fitness. He is "interested" in starting a routine at the gym, but is making a ridiculous excuse to NOT get started.

    A little backstory: We work opposite schedules- he works M-F 8-5 and I work 12 hour nights 7p-7a various nights per week. My schedule right now mainly consists of working one week 6 out of 7 days then having a week off. I make time in this for exercise, but during my work weeks, I go to the gym 3 times per week, on my off weeks 5-6 times per week. In other words, it's not all that consistent, but I go when I can and try make sure I do my lifting consistently. He wants to go to the gym with me after he gets off work but we have a special needs child who cannot be left unattended. My solution was for him to go by himself....get ready for this....

    He says that unless he has a strict schedule, like say, every MWF there's no point and that unless it's consistent like that, there's no benefits. He actually said "ask any fitness expert, if you do that it's like going backward." I wanted to laugh in his face but didn't- I just shut up because there is no way to respond to something so ignorant.

    BTW, his plan does not involve weights, just, in his words, "power walking".

    So by his logic, fitting it in when you can has as many benefits as not doing it at all.

    I was seriously at a loss for words....REALLY?!?!?

    Thoughts on my rant? Would this annoy the heck out of anyone else, or am I crazy?

    Sounds like you need to start withholding sex until he gets his butt in the gym.
  • b3st
    b3st Posts: 1,350 Member
    He'll be really happy when he reads this.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    While it's not true that there's no benefit to non-regular exercise, I can see where he's coming from re having a set schedule. I'm much more consistent about anything I do if I have fixed times in the week when I do that. This goes for everything, not just the gym. Even housework. Without a schedule, I get kind of lost and forget to do stuff, or constantly procrastinate about it. This is just how I am and I make schedules for myself to ensure that I stick with it. Maybe he's the same. Maybe he didn't express himself very well but what he means to say is in order for him to succeed he needs a fixed schedule.
  • slk_5555
    slk_5555 Posts: 177 Member
    Don't see the issue really. You are both adults capable of making your own independent decisions. He shouldn't have to justify his exercise or lack of exercise to you & you don't have to justify your exercise with him. If the tables were turned, would you want him to query if/when u were going to exercise?
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    I had the most ridiculous conversation with my husband last night in regards to exercise/fitness. He is "interested" in starting a routine at the gym, but is making a ridiculous excuse to NOT get started.

    A little backstory: We work opposite schedules- he works M-F 8-5 and I work 12 hour nights 7p-7a various nights per week. My schedule right now mainly consists of working one week 6 out of 7 days then having a week off. I make time in this for exercise, but during my work weeks, I go to the gym 3 times per week, on my off weeks 5-6 times per week. In other words, it's not all that consistent, but I go when I can and try make sure I do my lifting consistently. He wants to go to the gym with me after he gets off work but we have a special needs child who cannot be left unattended. My solution was for him to go by himself....get ready for this....

    He says that unless he has a strict schedule, like say, every MWF there's no point and that unless it's consistent like that, there's no benefits. He actually said "ask any fitness expert, if you do that it's like going backward." I wanted to laugh in his face but didn't- I just shut up because there is no way to respond to something so ignorant.

    BTW, his plan does not involve weights, just, in his words, "power walking".

    So by his logic, fitting it in when you can has as many benefits as not doing it at all.

    I was seriously at a loss for words....REALLY?!?!?

    Thoughts on my rant? Would this annoy the heck out of anyone else, or am I crazy?

    My husband has similar issues. They are his issues.