I NEED to get this off my chest!

Hi. So, today I went to the movie theater and I ordered one of those HUGE buckets of popcorn. Bad idea for an obese girl, I literally ate half of the bucket . :( I've always failed at losing weight, I keep failing. I signed up with myfitnesspal about 3 years ago and i weigh the same, of course I never kept up with it. Which is all my fault. But I'm sick of feeling so fat and pathetic. It's 1:30 in the morning and I can't sleep (probably because of all that f***en popcorn I ate) so I was lying in bed thinking about all the things that SUCK in my life because of my weight. Here's a short list:
1. I've missed opportunities to further my career/job because I have no confidence
2. I NEVER date. Never. I'm too self conscious, if I don't like myself, who would anyways?
3. I never take pictures. I stay out of them. I don't think I've taken a pic in 2 years, unless family forced me for a birthday or something
4. I've lost friends because of my weight
5. I hate socializing because i'm fat
6. I can't buy cute clothes, nothing ever fits right
Anywayssss, I could go on and on but I should stop. I feel so pathetic and so sick, I needed to tell the world. So i'm off to bed, gonna try to catch some sleep while I still can, darn it's almost 2 am and I have to wake up early.
Tomorrow is a new day, and I promise myself I will make changes, I have to or else I'll feel miserable for the rest of my life.
«13

Replies

  • Orion782
    Orion782 Posts: 391
    You said it best: Tomorrow is a new day.

    You must take action, and it must be sustainable action. Always be better today than the person you were yesterday.
  • redpandora56
    redpandora56 Posts: 289 Member
    Good for you for taking a stand. It's all about being accountable to yourself - you have to make your own choices. Trust me I know how hard it is - I've had a rough couple of weeks and have had some big meals that took me outside of my calories. But, I chose to do that, no one else. So I have to own up, accept it happened, and not let it get me down as I have a goal to achieve and its baby steps.

    So last night you said tomorrow is a new day - today is now that 'tomorrow' you mentioned. So make the right choices. and each time you do, be proud. remember that feeling of achievement the next time you're tempted to make the wrong choice. Find ways to reward yourself as you meet goals that don't involve food - buy a new outfit, piece of jewelry, get a manicure - whatever it might be. Or find ways to reward yourself with some of those things you mentioned below - reward yourself by organising a catch up with a friend - go out to see a movie WITHOUT the popcorn :)

    You'll get there, one choice at a time. Don't feel pathetic - acknowledge what's happened and use it to motivate you to move forward. Good luck :flowerforyou:
  • KMclymont
    KMclymont Posts: 19
    It's already a new day...........you can start over again I am struggling with this too your not alone, I won't give up though, just start all :smile: over.
  • aarondnguyen
    aarondnguyen Posts: 270 Member
    It's never too late to start again.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1216925-confessions-of-a-former-yo-yo-dieter

    ^ I hope that helps.
  • Poods71
    Poods71 Posts: 502 Member
    You're feeling really down just now so the only way is up. Make a decision that today is going to be the day when everything changes. Don't start any silly crash diets as they only end in disaster. Make small changes to your diet, make your portions a little smaller, if you like you treats like chocolate etc. swap for something lower calorie or some fruit. But don't deny yourself completely. We are not meant to live without chocolate :laugh:. If there are times you take the car or public transport try walking and there are also good You Tube exercise videos. I like the low impact ones and the strength as my joints bother me, but you can find what suits you. But most important of all, don't lose motivation and keep going. Even if you have a bad day or even a bad week, it's not ruined you just go back to doing what you were doing it will only be ruined if you give up completely. Good luck :flowerforyou:
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    Here for you if you need to talk or a friend. I haven't been where you have but that doesn't mean I don't understand at all.
  • TheBoldCat
    TheBoldCat Posts: 159 Member
    Knowing this and admitting it, is the first (and very important step)...now start solving one issue after another. Real friends do not care about your weight. They stand by you at any situation. Once you have this support, you can move to another point.

    START NOW....

    You are Strong, Loveable and Amazing person

    You can do it and you will achieve what you want

    YOUR LIFE = YOUR CHOICE

    xxx
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    the problem you have is that you dont feel like you deserve to lose weight... so you always self sabotage, am i right?

    You need to work on loving yourself REGARDLESS of your weight, and then you can work on making yourself healtheir and fitter (which will lead to weight loss) BECAUSE you love yourself and you, like anyone, deserves a happy healthy life...

    being thin wont automatically make you happy... that comes from within.
  • SophieLPxx
    SophieLPxx Posts: 12 Member
    A year from now you will wish you started today! Just think of how you want to be in a years time and let nothing stand in your way or achieving it!
    Push yourself, Noone else is going to
    Good Luck!
  • jennibee70
    jennibee70 Posts: 1,067 Member
    Those are all good reasons to motivate yourself to change, but instead of beating yourself up, choose just one thing to do differently today that you can feel proud of. Replace one fatty snack with a piece of fruit, or go for a 20 minute walk, just one healthy change for the better, and then go to bed tonight feeling pleased with that. And then repeat that one healthy change every day. Baby-steps!
  • TashTag
    TashTag Posts: 109
    You said it best: Tomorrow is a new day.

    You must take action, and it must be sustainable action. Always be better today than the person you were yesterday.

    This

    I feel you sister. If I could offer one small piece of advice it would be to take everything one day and one step at a time.
    Oh and also live consciously. Make concious smart decisions before you do or eat anything. Think about what goes in your mouth and into your body.

    I stopped smoking 63 days ago, phew, and every day since then I have taken one small step to bettering myself. Little changes to many but a big deal to me. Cutting out soft drinks for example.

    Also this is a great place to surround yourself with like-minded people who will understand and sympathise with you...

    Hugs
  • ros2will3run
    ros2will3run Posts: 104 Member
    Hi,

    hope you are feeling happier after a sleep.. you sounded pretty miserable! Or maybe let that misery push you into action?
    Personally, i often think why are so many people afraid of a little plumpness? or made to feel ashamed as they are large or fatter?
    It's not a disease..can look kinda pretty somehow..but it's society's obsession, and if you can't beat them join them.
    I want to 'look' good in clothes, have a flat tummy, tighten up by body..whether it's me, or society pushing me, i'm not sure..
    But i want a boyfriend to admire my physical form, be crazy about me; not get looks and comments from people too, stop feeling embarressed. too. so ok, i'll join in the obsession, and conform to society's idea of goodlooks....but will never be tall, or have blue eyes..!! having said that, i hate my fat legs..and big arms...and would like to be slim..but the tummy is just a bit funny, really!!
    So i guess if you have to decide if you are serious about weight loss, and like i should, examine abit more why you want to lose weight, and don't dislike yourself, i mean, like youself, as others have said, on mfp, throughtout the whole journey..from the start..at whatever weight.
    I guess i want to be slim, fit, fighting fit..toned, lovely..but i do recognise that i'm also being kinda pushed there, too.Does this help in anyway..the ramblings...of a dieter who's finding it quite a challenge!!
    Final thought...all of us want to be accepted for who we are, and maybe it's maddening, to have to, to have to be slim..
    and not so accepted when fat..and what is fat..just splodgy stuff..nothing more frightening than that..apart from health issues if seriously overweight. I don't know.. I just know, time has come!! and now I want to be slim. full stop~!!
  • SueGeer
    SueGeer Posts: 1,169 Member
    Your profile pic says "It's your difference, make it happen".....so MAKE it happen!

    1. Log ALL your food EVERY day
    2. Weigh everything....DON'T eyeball it
    3. Fill up on veggies
    4. Drink plenty of water
    5. Keep your diary open for others to see......a *high five* or even constructive criticism works better than going it alone
    6. Exercise.....even a gentle stroll is better than nothing
    7. Set mini goals......eg 5lb increments
    8. Reward yourself in a non-food way each time you reach a mini goal

    Remember.......it's YOUR difference, only YOU can make it happen!! Bet we'll be here for you, cheering you on and picking you up when you fall....

    Good luck!!! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • I'm currently training to be a hypnopsycotherapist (basically evidence based hypnotherapy with a side order of CBT & Mindfulness) and one of the more interesting videos I've found over the last year or two when researching the subject of emotional & pscological causes of overeating and thought some of you might find this video interesting.

    Luck,

    Dale

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1PriaSWyUo
  • RunaBen
    RunaBen Posts: 1
    I know what you're going through, I've been there so many times, but not now. Try to focus on the good things in your life. Sometimes hard, but each day, try to write down three good things in your life. Try to figure out why you feel you need comfort food. It's not just that being obese is making you miserable. Being miserable is making you obese. Try your best to love yourself and yes, to love your body. If you love your body, you don't feed it with junk food. You feed it with good nutrients and you don't overfeed it, because that would make your body miserable. Give your body exercise, even just a little helps. Walking to the end of your street and back is good to begin with if you haven't been exercising, and then gradually increase as you feel more fit. Get your heart rate up and feel a little out of breath. Not too much. I hope this helps some.

    Most important thing: Love yourself!! <3
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    the problem you have is that you dont feel like you deserve to lose weight... so you always self sabotage, am i right?

    You need to work on loving yourself REGARDLESS of your weight, and then you can work on making yourself healtheir and fitter (which will lead to weight loss) BECAUSE you love yourself and you, like anyone, deserves a happy healthy life...

    being thin wont automatically make you happy... that comes from within.

    ^^^^ this

    and address your lack of confidence. It's likely it doesn't come because of your weight, and you won't suddenly become a confident person just because you're thin. It''s easy when obese to view ourselves thinner as a kind of idealised version of yourself, i.e. who you want to be. But all you change with weight loss is your size. If you're not applying for jobs/promotions etc because of a lack of confidence, I don't think this would really stem solely from you being obese. plenty of obese people have fulfilling careers and are good at what they do....

    learn to love yourself for who you are, to accept yourself, then it becomes much easier to reverse the obesity, because you're doing it because you *deserve* good health. you become more confident because you start to believe in yourself (and this happens before you get lean) and you start to go for the job opportunities because you believe in yourself and know you can do those jobs, and you know you can handle it if you *don't* get the job and you know you can try again next time and that's okay. If you need counselling/therapy to get to the root of the lack of confidence and self belief and learn to love yourself then do it. That self love is the momentum that keeps you going. It's not about willpower, it's about realising that YOU deserve better and going out and getting it.
  • Hi,

    I'm new here, only started on Monday. Committed yo you dieter up til now and have decided that instead of "dieting" I need to get healthy...hopefully weight loss will be a side effect!!

    I just wanted to say how fabulous all your comments are...no judgement in sight, just support.

    Think i'm gonna like it here :)

    Nicky
  • You can so do this if you put your mind to it. we're all in the same boat, all want to be healthier and motivated. good luck :)
    xx
  • mfp2014mfp
    mfp2014mfp Posts: 689 Member
    You can do it, you are worth the effort it takes to make the changes you need :flowerforyou:
  • lizzyclatworthy
    lizzyclatworthy Posts: 296 Member
    I have been in that place, not for a long time but I was there.
    One thing I will say is don't pin everything on the weight. I lost loads of weight and was still miserable as sin. I had just lost my scape goat. I thought that losing weight would fix all my problems, I was wrong!
    Work on loving yourself and you can treat yourself better.
    I always try to treat myself the way I would want a guy to treat me
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    the problem you have is that you dont feel like you deserve to lose weight... so you always self sabotage, am i right?

    You need to work on loving yourself REGARDLESS of your weight, and then you can work on making yourself healtheir and fitter (which will lead to weight loss) BECAUSE you love yourself and you, like anyone, deserves a happy healthy life...

    being thin wont automatically make you happy... that comes from within.

    ^^^^ this

    and address your lack of confidence. It's likely it doesn't come because of your weight, and you won't suddenly become a confident person just because you're thin. It''s easy when obese to view ourselves thinner as a kind of idealised version of yourself, i.e. who you want to be. But all you change with weight loss is your size. If you're not applying for jobs/promotions etc because of a lack of confidence, I don't think this would really stem solely from you being obese. plenty of obese people have fulfilling careers and are good at what they do....

    learn to love yourself for who you are, to accept yourself, then it becomes much easier to reverse the obesity, because you're doing it because you *deserve* good health. you become more confident because you start to believe in yourself (and this happens before you get lean) and you start to go for the job opportunities because you believe in yourself and know you can do those jobs, and you know you can handle it if you *don't* get the job and you know you can try again next time and that's okay. If you need counselling/therapy to get to the root of the lack of confidence and self belief and learn to love yourself then do it. That self love is the momentum that keeps you going. It's not about willpower, it's about realising that YOU deserve better and going out and getting it.

    ^^^^^^This is great advice. Do it!
  • VanessaRudden
    VanessaRudden Posts: 198 Member
    Hang in there - tomorrow is another day - Please Hang in there - and Start small - Be well!!!!!!!!!!!
  • kbmnurse
    kbmnurse Posts: 2,484 Member
    Keep this list handy and let it motivate you. Take one day one pound at a a time. Love yourself.

    Today is day one
    small goals. Good Luck, beautiful!
  • BrianSharpe
    BrianSharpe Posts: 9,248 Member
    This may not be what you want to hear but you need to find out why you engage in self-defeating behaviour and, perhaps, some time spent with a good psychologist can help with that. Many people resist the idea of seeking help because of the undeserved stigma surrounding mental health issues. A good counselor could help you understand your behaviour and develop strategies to work around them.

    Good luck!
  • KariOrtiz2014
    KariOrtiz2014 Posts: 343 Member
    Tomorrow is a new day, and I promise myself I will make changes, I have to or else I'll feel miserable for the rest of my life.

    This is how I feel too. So everyday, I wake up and decide that it's going to be a good day! You have to be positive because if you're not you'll just find yourself back at square one!! Learn to love who you are now. We didn't gain weight over night so we're not going to lose it overnight either!! Baby steps will change course for you, trust me!!
  • ljmcf
    ljmcf Posts: 98 Member
    Your message struck a chord with me, as I’ve been there – especially in relation to not going out due to how you feel you look, and losing friends in the process because you’re never up for doing much! I’ve also been that person that’ll ‘try’ to be good but temptation is just too much when it comes to buying food for the cinema etc. I’m a big binger – but you’ll know as well as me, you might enjoy it while you’re eating it, but you feel absolutely rubbish afterwards…guilty, and uncomfortable! My advice in this area is don’t buy in bulk! If you really want a packet of crisps, but ONE packet…know your limits – I know that if I have a multi pack of crisps in the house, I will eat the multi pack of crisps!

    I promise that cravings for these ‘bad’ foods will diminish greatly if you give yourself that chance. I came into work to find mini eggs and a crème egg on my desk this morning, I’m looking around to see who I can give it away to! Just stick with it a day at a time, and before you know it, the lbs will start to come off. Do some light exercise, build it up. You’ll start to enjoy it! Just very recently people have been commenting on my weight loss ‘how much have you lost now?’ and I can feel a difference in the way my body feels. Nothing motivates you more than this.

    Also, don’t beat yourself up if you have a set back, it does not mean you’ll always fail – fall down 7 times, stand up 8. You’ll get there, move on and try to stay focused. Most importantly – love yourself! Having some fat does not make you a bad person, and it’s something you can fix one step at a time.
  • jellybeanhed313
    jellybeanhed313 Posts: 344 Member
    I can totally relate. I felt this way for most of my life and even after losing 100 pounds, I still feel this way sometimes. I think it has less to do with weight and more to do with my feelings about myself. I keep losing weight, then binging and gaining a lot back. Its a cycle that I've been going through for a few years now. I don't know why I feel like I don't deserve to be thin(or happy as "thin" seems to mean in my mind). Recently, THAT is what I've been working on. My own worth and happiness. This is truly the only thing that has helped me lose weight. Now, I'm working out most days and it makes me feel accomplished and proud that I spent that time working to improve myself. Sure, I still ate 7 cookies last night, and went over my calories by 700 or something crazy, but I am not beating myself up about it becasue that isn't going to help anything.
    This kinda turned into a rant and I'm not fully awake yet, but it is all true and I know just how you feel. Send me a friend request if you like. Its going to be ok and you can do this. You have to believe in yourself and that you are deserving above all things. Hang in there sweetie. <3
  • Vicxie86
    Vicxie86 Posts: 181 Member
    Start today and don't even give a thought to ever looking back again. If you stumble along the way, dust yourself off and continue matching. I have had days when i went over my kcals by 1000, 1500, 2000, 2500 (seriously!) but the fact that i did it while being concious of what i was doing made me not feel any guilt. I didn't throw in the towel and say "f**k, i've put on 10lbs in 2days, might as well stop" because i knew it was just water weight. This is the problem some people have, confusing water weight for fat and then they give up.

    You will have days where you fluctuate 5lbs and days where you're busy celebrating your 2lbs loss only to step on the scale the next day and be 3lbs up again. Do not give up. 2 things that play a major role in water weight are carb and sodium e.g you have been eating 150g carb and suddenly eat 300g carb, you will retain some water for awhile or you have been having 2500mg sodium and suddenly eat 4500mg worth, you will retain water.

    Always pay attention to what you are eating so that you can notice trends and how different food affects your body. This has helped me alot.

    You can do this!
  • Nadal1991
    Nadal1991 Posts: 13
    The best weight lost tip I've learned from MFP: What you eat doesn't determine your results and nothing is impossible but something take time patience self love and a supportive environment. Like you said tomorrow is a new day so as I'm sure you can see from this thread there's plenty of people who can relate and support you. Good luck and I hope today is better then yesterday and tomorrow even better. (sorry for the cheesiness)
  • la_te_ra_lus
    la_te_ra_lus Posts: 243 Member
    You HAVE to be the hero of your own story. you can do that you can be that...You can be the hero of your story that woke up today..You can be the hero in your own story at whatever age you maybe. Stopped got out of bed and said i'm not doing this anymore I'm doing this differently. I'm gonna figure this out and i'm gonna do it only by my instincts and only by my morals and ideals and my mind,and i'm gonna be dead honest with myself. because i'm realizing this won't last forever....