I NEED to get this off my chest!

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13

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  • kandell
    kandell Posts: 473 Member
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    Hang in there! I struggle with geting and staying on track, too :[ Weight loss can be really hard for people who've had extra weight for a long time. Find a way to make your health goals work into your daily life. Portion control, dietary changes, adding exercise, take it one step at a time. Once one aspect becomes a habit, add a new one. You can do it, I know you can :]
  • craftywitch_63
    craftywitch_63 Posts: 829 Member
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    I didn't read all of the posts so if this has already been said, I apologize but also agree. Please seek counseling. You have stated you are sabotaging your efforts to do better in other areas of your life and you need to find out why and learn how to stop. Just saying, "I'm going to do better" may help for a while but not forever. There may be something else that you're not seeing, such as underlying clinical depression, which will need to be treated with medication, therapy or both.

    Until you can obtain help, there is a book on cognitive therapy that may help. It's called "Feeling Good - The New Mood Therapy" written by David Burns. I DO NOT suggest this in place of counseling, just along with the therapy.

    :flowerforyou:

    [edited for clarity]
  • LosingLaurensWay
    LosingLaurensWay Posts: 86 Member
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    Logging your food an exercising are great but the only way you can even think of maintaining that devotion is because you know that you deserve it. I was/still am like you. I lost 112 lbs because I knew in my heart this was the time. I did it for me cause damn it I deserved it and I knew I was beautiful and hidden beneath all this fat. However that self confidence demon will always come back. I stopped loosing weight recently because I lost sight of my worth and have recently gained that spark back. Take some time an find what is positive about you and lose weight for that. Positivity is the only thing that will give you the fuel through the rough times. Work on yourself mentally and emotionally first and the physical benefits will follow.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,670 Member
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    So what's different this time around? What are you doing to not fail again? Do you really have a specific plan or are you going to just try to wing it and see what happens? Are you committed or are you just testing the waters again?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • CherryMonRose520
    CherryMonRose520 Posts: 12 Member
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    I know what you mean! I often find myself crying when i'm alone because I feel like i'm going to be stuck with this weight all my life. I'm 19 and 304 lbs, yes I know it's disgusting! I've tried weight watchers and it didn't work, I tried the hCg diet and it was working but I ended up fainting and in the hospital because of it. I don't want to die but it seems like all the food choices I make state otherwise. And yes I know exactly what I'm doing but I get so sad sometimes that literally food is the only thing to make me feel better. It's getting harder for me to move around and do simple things like climb the stairs, or tie my shoelaces or even getting on a ride at the amusement park, and on top of all that because of my obesity I suffer from acanthosis nigricans on my neck and in between my breasts. Today I've decided that i'm tired of feeling sorry for myself and i'm ready to go on this journey and take it seriously. I need too. I'm tired of crying about my weight then shoving pizza and wings down my throat smh. We have a long journey ahead but its better than being 6 feet under. Stay motivated darling.
  • crissi725
    crissi725 Posts: 82
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    Have you heard of tiny Melinda Mae,
    Who ate a monstrous whale?
    She thought she could,
    She said she would,
    So she started in right at the tail.
    And everyone said,"You're much too small,"
    But that didn't bother Melinda at all,
    She took little bites and she chewed very slow,
    Just like a little girl should...
    ...and eighty-nine years later she ate that whale
    Because she said she would!!!

    -- Shel Silverstein

    I get that this poem is about a tiny girl eating a whale but its become the picture in my head for the seemingly INSURMOUNTABLE task of losing 70 lbs. How is it possible?! There's NO WAY I could lose that. I wanna lose it all RIGHT NOW. But I can't so I'll just wait around.

    But that was the problem. The problem seemed too huge to overcome. Until I saw this poem. I started thinking of my 70lbs as The Whale and myself as Tiny Melinda Mae. Taking little bites. Until the whole whale is gone. Is there going to be some terrible punishment if I don't lose the weight by tomorrow? No. So why am I trippin'?

    You shouldn't either. Take your first bite of that whale, girl. And then take another. And chew slowly. You'll get it done.
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
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    Please take this with the caring intent in which I intend it. Some of the things you are posting here will NOT go away because you get smaller... Weight loss will help, but there are some deeper issues -- perhaps to a point, may even help CAUSE the weight issues. I would suggest that you see a counselor to discuss these feelings and help you work through these issues. As far as losing weight, the beauty is that we can start anew daily. Wake up tomorrow and begin with a new resolfe
  • leggup
    leggup Posts: 2,942 Member
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    so I was lying in bed thinking about all the things that SUCK in my life because of my weight. Here's a short list:
    Tomorrow is a new day, and I promise myself I will make changes, I have to or else I'll feel miserable for the rest of my life.

    It sounds like you're threatening yourself. Wallowing in remorse and focusing on all the things you can blame on your weight do you no good. They are not motivational statements. You already believe all of them. It's time to get a new mantra.

    If I had binged on movie theater popcorn, my first thought would be, "That was a lot of sodium. I should probably drink a lot of water." Focus on change that is possible, change that you can do. My next thought would be to get some exercise in, knowing full well it won't fully even-out all of the calories, it's still a step in the right direction and might make up for the last two handfuls of popcorn. Also, I'll feel proactive and get some endorphins going. Next, I would try to think of why I ordered the popcorn in the first place. Was I hungry? Was I craving salt? Then, try to think of a better option for next time.

    I also agree with other posters that you could benefit from speaking with a therapist. You're very hard on yourself. Also, not all of those things you blame on your weight are going to be fixed if you commit to losing the weight. Losing the weight will not give you self esteem inherently. Losing weight will not give you friends, a boyfriend, a promotion. It's easier to blame those things on your weight, which means that you can hide behind your weight as the reason that you don't have certain things.
  • runnergirl0419
    runnergirl0419 Posts: 17 Member
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    The one thing that always snaps me back into reality is realizing that by feeling sorry for myself, I will never make progress. Do not let your weight control your life--- just control your weight! Weight loss does not have to be eating vegetables and fruits all day long; I lose the most weight when I allow myself to have a scoopful of ice cream, or a piece of candy. In fact, losing weight comes best when you do not obsess.
  • runnergirl0419
    runnergirl0419 Posts: 17 Member
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    You can do it-- you do not have to conquer Mt. Everest everyday. Success is progress in any way.. if you can make it through the day replacing sodas, juices, alcohol with water, that's success! Do not set a huge weight loss goal-- literally take it one pound at a time. One pound isn't just "one pound".. think about each pound as a success in itself because it really is!
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
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    Remember that feeling. And now let it go. Just for today, make it a good eating day. Don't worry about tomorrow. If you can, go for a long one hour brisk walk.

    Take your music player with you. Have a great weekend.
  • Zekela
    Zekela Posts: 634 Member
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    I think you'd find something else to hate about yourself even if you lost weight. So firstly, you need to work on loving yourself and knowing that you are the hottest person alive on earth. After that, try to stick with an activity you enjoy... This will bring you confidence and you'll stop watching the scale. Let me tell you something about me: whether I'm 100ibs or 500ibs, I'm the hottest chica on this planet!
  • cuinboston2014
    cuinboston2014 Posts: 848 Member
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    the problem you have is that you dont feel like you deserve to lose weight... so you always self sabotage, am i right?

    You need to work on loving yourself REGARDLESS of your weight, and then you can work on making yourself healtheir and fitter (which will lead to weight loss) BECAUSE you love yourself and you, like anyone, deserves a happy healthy life...

    being thin wont automatically make you happy... that comes from within.

    This times a million
  • happykate2
    happykate2 Posts: 13
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    Ok, lets just take a step back. Deep breaths, you'll get through it once you realize that you deserve this! I see SO MUCH negative energy in your original post. Its all about the little goals to reach the ultimate goal of facing your fears (without fear!). Take things one day at a time, you'll gain confidence knowing you succeeded these little goals to an ultimate one. Good luck to you!!
  • chickenchaser78
    chickenchaser78 Posts: 89 Member
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    You have some great advice already. I read the first page but I'll mention this if it hasn't already been mentioned. Working on your weight is a fine goal but you need to work on your confidence and loving yourself as a person. We can work on the outside all we want but won't be happy unless you work on the inside too. I know because I have been there and done that. I'm still working on my confidence and I'm happier for it.

    http://mollygalbraith.com/2014/03/cellulite-stretch-marks-and-a-love-your-body-challenge/

    Molly Galbraith did a 28 day Love your Body Challenge about a month ago and its a wonderful project. Every day you can read the blog (which isn't long) and do an exercise to help you love yourself more.

    For many years I would start exercise and stop again and I realized, as another of your posters said, I was self sabotaging. Right when I was about to break through I quit. I don't know if subconsciously I felt I wasn't worth it or too scared to change or something else. All I know is that when things got tough I quit.

    Molly Gailbraith's blog is wonderful and so is Erin Brown if you look her up. Erin started out as more of a fitness personality but now she is more on loving yourself and being the best person you can be. She is on Facebook and some of her quotes are just really amazing and so helpful to me.

    You can do this. You can be happy. You don't have to be held back by your weight. I promise!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    What a shame the OP didn't come back
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
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    What a shame the OP didn't come back

    I know. I've been there. It was really easy (I mean easy but NOT easy, you know?) to be all "Oh I suck" but in the end, I had to say to myself "So I think I suck. Why? What am I doing or NOT doing that keeps me in this suck fest?"

    And the final answer was.....me. I do this to myself and I can get out of it myself but it takes work on my part. My issue wasn't weight, it never was. It is NOW but it was always a self-esteem issue even when I had a nice body. I never felt good enough. Hopefully she will get with it now and not wait until she is ten years older and more mired in the boo hoo.
  • Flossiesdoll
    Flossiesdoll Posts: 48
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    the problem you have is that you dont feel like you deserve to lose weight... so you always self sabotage, am i right?

    You need to work on loving yourself REGARDLESS of your weight, and then you can work on making yourself healtheir and fitter (which will lead to weight loss) BECAUSE you love yourself and you, like anyone, deserves a happy healthy life...

    being thin wont automatically make you happy... that comes from within.
    This.

    Why not try reading some of the fat-acceptance and especially the health at every size blogs? They might help you to feel better about yourself, regardless of whether your body is fat or thin. Health at every size might be a good place to start for you - it's time you realised that you are worthy of a good life, where you take care of yourself, eat and exercise because of how it makes you feel, and that you deserve to be treated well by yourself and other people - no matter what size or shape or weight you are.
  • lavendy17
    lavendy17 Posts: 309 Member
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    I didn't read all the comments, only your OP.

    About dating- when I met my husband he was very overweight but I didn't care because I thought he was an amazing person.
    You shouldn't feel like you can't find love.

    About how you criticize yourself, we all do it. I am in a healthy weight but not thin and I am negative to myself everyday. But we shouldn't be. If you can learn to love yourself and forgive yourself it will be a lot easier.

    I wish all the best.
  • ChocoboJaz
    ChocoboJaz Posts: 37 Member
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    Stop putting so much pressure on yourself, i found the more pressure i put on myself the less i lost!
    Change your mind set, dont diet, eat healthy, get out and do more if you find exercise difficult.
    Start by loosing 5lbs or something.
    And when it comes to food tell yourself you dont want it, i want to be thin and not that you cant have it as i found it made me want it more!

    You can do it, try and sign on daily or 2 daily even if you dont do your diet record (but it helps big time, be honest, if you go over no biggy try again tomorrow)

    I also found knowing my food helped, i didnt realize so much of the 'healthy' foods i ate contained sugars etc that was not helping me and know how your body works with the food you put in to it :)

    I added you as a friend, chin up you can and WILL do this x

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