How to handle weight loss compliments

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  • MyProgressISYour1Proof
    MyProgressISYour1Proof Posts: 376 Member
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    People keep asking me how I did it - like what "diet" I'm on?

    Discipline and exercise *****es!!

    This is the one that gets me the most. As if I'm going to suddenly announce this new way of losing weight that involves absolutely no effort and works for anyone no matter their lifestyle. Ihaven't lost nearly as much as some of the super inspiring people on here but, like them, every lb lost was hard earned and I am PROUD of that. So should you be :)

    Amen and I just hate how some people want an easy way out. It makes me sad because I know what morbidly obese is, I know obese and I know overweight. I've been each one during my journey. I wanna be proud of my hard work but some people make it really hard. Back handed compliments really hurt too especially when it's from people who used to harp on me about my weight/health.....
  • conniemaxwell5
    conniemaxwell5 Posts: 943 Member
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    Your post immediately caught my eye because it is one of my biggest fears in this whole thing. It sounds like you are way healthier in the way you think of it than me and I have lots more to lose than you do so it will be a long time till someone notices. I'm not shy, but I just don't want to talk about it. The only way I've finally come to the point that I was willing to lose weight (I keep the weight on to hold people at arms lenghth) is that I'm doing it totally for me. I really don't need the praise or notice. I do think "thank you" is the way to go. But every time I say that "thank you" will be difficult and I'll be internally wanting to flee the room. Good luck.

    Do not let ANY fear or embarrassment get in the way of accomplishing your goals! This journey is about overcoming a lot of things and I've found that fear was one of the biggest things I had to overcome. Practice saying 'thank you for noticing" in the mirror before you leave your house if you have to, but do not be afraid to receive compliments. If you walk in that fear you will start putting the weight back on as soon as people start to notice. You have made a decision to change your life - OWN IT!
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    I've been doing the "thank you, I still have a long ways to go" for awhile now, but now after reading a few of these posts I need to drop that. What is going to happen when I get closer to goal? So maybe I'll just say thank you. I find honesty is the best policy so when they ask how much I've lost I tell them. I still dont know how I would handle the youre too skinny comment. I think it would make me angry and i would have to answer so what I was healthier when I weighed nearly 400lbs??!!
  • BuffedMan
    BuffedMan Posts: 6 Member
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    I have a slightly different approach. In my gym bag (which I always have with me) is an envelop. On the envelop is written: "Congratulations! You are the first person to comment on my success at losing weight. Thank you, and enjoy!" Inside the envelop is $50. As I slowly, slowly drop the pounds, it's an additional incentive for me to keep at it, and I have the fun of anticipating when someone -- could be anyone -- will make that first comment. My loss becomes their gain for noticing and acknowledging the change.
  • Pastrychef23
    Pastrychef23 Posts: 1 Member
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    This is a big issue for me. As a yo-yo dieter, with 200 lbs to lose, I've noticed that it is usually "the end" for me when I start getting compliments. Trying to understand why that is, I've only been able to come up with a few ideas. 1) I would rather pretend that people just don't notice my weight, but when comments start coming, I know that they are. 2) I take the compliment on as pressure or an obligation I now have, to that person, to continue losing, and not gain it back. 3) I feel shame about what they must have thought about me before I lost any weight, and what they will be silently thinking if I gain it back.
    So, I don't know what my answer will be. "Thank you" is a fine idea, but only if I can stop abusing myself with the above. For now, I'm at the beginning of my journey, at it will be a long one, so I'm hoping I've got a little time to figure this out. My main goal at this point is to just eat in a less extreme way, so it can become a "life style change" rather than a "diet".
    Great topic. I'm glad I'm not the only one that struggles with it.

    I have lost abuot 30 pounds in the last 3 months, and as a small girl, I could probably not lose any more and be fine. But the response above resonated with me 100%. I would like to think that no one noticed my weight, but me, before. But now that they say they don't recognize me, and I look like a different person... well, it's hard to know how to reply. I do say, "thank you," but simultaneously I think: "how bad did I look before?" I realize I lost the weight fast, and while I am confident that I've made a lifestyle change, I will always be fearful of disappointing everyone around me too. It will always be a struggle in my own head.

    So, as you can see, the "Thank Yous" aren't always so easy.
  • Maris_Swan
    Maris_Swan Posts: 197 Member
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    I struggle with this----I've learned just to say "thank you' and end it.
  • thrld
    thrld Posts: 610 Member
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    Also, be prepared to answer to comments like "you lost weight. you look sick. how do you feel?"
    The best answer to this is "Thank you, I have lost weight and I feel great ! How are YOU doing?"
    This puts the focus back on them and their health, and since they introduced the topic, they should have the spotlight.
  • maryannelk
    maryannelk Posts: 707 Member
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    Try 'thank you, it's kind of you to say so'. It returns the compliment :-)

    Like this!
  • ccopley33
    ccopley33 Posts: 7 Member
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    I totally get it...I get a little shy about it too...Especially in the beginning..But, I just say, Yep! Thanks! I have been working really hard! :-)
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
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    I could be wrong, but I think a polite "thank you" would suffice here...
  • LVCeltGirl
    LVCeltGirl Posts: 473
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    As everyone else has said, a smile and a "Thank You". They'll ask if they want to know more. That's when I get flippant and say something along the lines of "it's the silliest thing...I'm eating less and moving more" Usually that shuts most people up because they aren't ready to take the steps necessary, they want a miracle pill.
  • LVCeltGirl
    LVCeltGirl Posts: 473
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    Thanks everybody, of course I thank people when they compliment me, but I'm still getting use to my new lifestyle and mindset. Since late elementary school I've been slightly overweight and when I hear the compliments I wonder at times what they thought of me before. And when I go back home in about 2 months I'm hopefully going to be at or near my goal and the difference will be very noticeable, and between returning to work, weddings, and parties I'm not sure if I can handle a few weeks of compliments (once again easily shy/embarrassed)

    I'll say, I always perceived my self as "shy" until my first husband left me. Took a drama class to "come out of my shell" and never looked back (I still perceive myself as an introvert who likes to have her picture taken at things like Renaissance Faire). Yes, compliments can feel embarrassing but I've also found that if I keep trying to switch my thinking and own the compliment (and this is all internal), then it's not so embarrassing and my thoughts of what they thought of me before do not enter my mind. You're working hard at losing the weight (whether if feels like you are or not) and you deserve the compliments.
  • leaowe4390
    leaowe4390 Posts: 7 Member
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    I felt a little uncomfortable when my family and friends would comment on my weight at first too. My husband and I got married a year out of high school when he joined the Air Force and we ended up moving to Germany for 3 years. The first time we visited home after a year abroad, I had gained a little over 30 pounds for numerous reasons (night shift work, foreign country, no friends, college, etc.). Obviously it hurt when anyone brought it up because, at that time, I thought my weight was the only important topic. The next year and a half passed and we flew home again to visit. I had lost 50+ pounds with weight watchers and MFP. I felt great, liked what I saw in the mirror, had graduated college, and had a million other things to talk about since we would be moving home soon. When everyone insisted on pointing out how much weight I had lost, and that I looked good and should stop where I was, I found myself just wanting to change the subject. I was used to being that new size for a good 5 months before our trip home. It honestly became the only thing that anyone wanted to talk about. I wanted to be more than just my physical appearance.

    My best advice is just to remember that it will subside. People will get used to the new you and it will become the norm. My family and friends hardly talk about it anymore, but when they do, I thank them for noticing and move on to the next thing.
  • mskraemerspeech
    mskraemerspeech Posts: 32 Member
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    I have a slightly different approach. In my gym bag (which I always have with me) is an envelop. On the envelop is written: "Congratulations! You are the first person to comment on my success at losing weight. Thank you, and enjoy!" Inside the envelop is $50. As I slowly, slowly drop the pounds, it's an additional incentive for me to keep at it, and I have the fun of anticipating when someone -- could be anyone -- will make that first comment. My loss becomes their gain for noticing and acknowledging the change.

    This is great!

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